10. Everly

CHAPTER 10

EVERLY

I knew I was walking into danger by inviting Urban to my apartment again.

I just didn't seem to care.

There was an undeniable pull toward him, a feeling of safety that I hadn't had in a while—if ever, which was ridiculous, given that I hadn't known him long.

Yet I couldn't deny it was happening.

It was like I wanted to see how close I could walk to the fire without getting burned because, in the end, we all knew I would be the one getting burned. It was always me.

After we were done on the field, we took a bus back to the camp where parents were already waiting for us, so all the kids were gone as soon as we got off the bus. Which meant I could go home and get cleaned up. It wasn't an overly hot day, so I wasn't all sweaty and I wouldn't have to shower.

As soon as I got home, I kicked my shoes off and hurried to the kitchen. I'd already planned my dinner—it would now just be for two, which was what I'd been planning to do anyway. I always made more than I'd eat so I'd have leftovers for the next day.

First, I turned the oven on to preheat then washed my hands really well. Once that was started, I pulled the chicken breasts out of the fridge, covering them with seasoning before setting them on the small cooking sheet. Next were the potatoes. They needed to be sliced, but not all the way through. These were going in the air fryer. I could do the salad and green beans after I cleaned up.

Now that everything was started, I ran through my apartment to the bathroom, where I used a washcloth to clean up. My armpits needed freshening and I wanted as much of the sunscreen off as I could manage without an actual shower. When that wasn't going well, I hopped in the damn shower.

It was the quickest of my life and I made sure not to get my hair wet .

Then I hurried to my room for clothes. I chose another tank top and jean shorts that were very similar to what I'd worn earlier. I also needed a quick stop back in the bathroom to take my hair down and make it look like it hadn't been in a ponytail all day.

I was just finishing up when there was a knock on my door. My stomach somersaulted over itself. I'd seen this guy naked. I shouldn't have been nervous for him to be here.

It wasn't nerves at all and I knew it. I just wasn't going to admit it to myself.

"Hi," I said as I opened the door.

"Hi." Urban came in carrying a round container and toed his shoes off at the door.

"What is that?" I asked him while pointing at the container he carried.

"Dessert. I wanted to bring something."

I pushed to my toes to get a look, which made him lower his hand.

"Is that an ice cream cake?"

"Yeah."

I furrowed my brows and shut the door behind us. "I love ice cream cake. How did you know that I love ice cream cake?"

The corners of his mouth turn up, but it didn't turn into a full smile. "I asked my sister if she could find out. She asked your friend, then I bought an ice cream cake."

It wasn't a large one, thank god, because I would eat the whole thing after he left tonight. This way, there was a decent chance that he'd help me eat it.

"Let's put it in the freezer until we're ready for it."

Urban followed me into the kitchen and put the cake in the freezer. "It smells so good in here."

"Thank you. If there's one thing I can do, it's cook."

He raised an eyebrow. "There's definitely more than one thing."

I snorted. "I'm making roasted chicken, garlic herb potatoes, roasted green beans, and a salad. Is there anything else you'd like?"

"That sounds like plenty."

Before I responded, I yanked the fridge open so that I could pull out the things that I needed. "I like to have two vegetables for dinner," I told him. "I figure it balances the ice cream cake I'm going to eat later."

He chuckled. "I eat a ton of vegetables, so it's good for me. What do you want me to do? "

"Nothing," I said right away. "I invited you here."

"Yeah, but I can be helpful." He went over the sink and began washing his hands. "I'll be honest. I don't do much in the kitchen usually, but I'll do whatever you want me to."

"Yeah." I nodded. "OK. You could start making the salad." I pointed a toe toward the fridge. "Everything is on the bottom shelf."

"Great."

While I worked on the green beans, he brought everything to the counter at the cutting board.

"Do you like to cook?" he asked as he worked.

"Yeah. I like eating more, but I figured if I wanted to eat well, I had to learn how to cook well."

He chuckled. "I had someone cook for me in Florida."

I raised an eyebrow as I poured some extra virgin olive oil on the beans. "Like a personal chef?"

"Yeah. Basically. Though she'd make things ahead so that I could heat it up when I got home."

"So you had to fire the person?"

He nodded. "It was through a service so I used the app to cancel. "

I snickered. "I guess there really is an app for everything. What do you do now that you're here?"

"So far, order out. But I'm looking for someone." He eyed me tossing the green beans in the oil then grabbing the salt and pepper to season. "Are you looking for a new job?"

I chuckled because there was a time that I'd toyed with the idea of being a chef, but I just didn't have it in me. "You might not like my cooking," I told him. "Everyone has their own taste."

"I like how you taste," he said. I was about to chastise him when he added, "I meant I'm going to like how yours tastes." Then he winced. "That doesn't actually sound better."

At least while we cooked, we laughed, and then finally, once everything was done, I plated it the way I wanted it to look then took it to the table. Urban had already taken the salad and dressing out there, as well as our utensils and drinks.

It felt so good to sit down that I sighed.

"Tired?" he asked.

"Not really. It just feels good to relax."

"Yeah. It does." He took his first bite of the chicken and I waited. He shut his eyes and made a satisfied sound. "Damn."

"Good? "

"Seriously, are you looking for a new job?" he asked. "I pay very well."

I snickered. "Actually, I'm not. I love my job." Then I shrugged. "Or jobs, rather."

We each took another bite when he asked, "So you said you wanted to talk more privately. This is the most private we can get."

I let out a sigh. That was right. I had said I wanted to talk about it somewhere else. "You didn't call last night and I don't know. I guess I'd kind of expected it. Though I probably shouldn't have." Though that had been just the cherry on the crap sundae.

His shoulders tightened, which wasn't what I'd meant to happen. I wasn't trying to make him feel bad, but that had been kind of a letdown last night.

"You were pissed at me earlier."

"I was," I agreed. "That was my fault and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you. I didn't mean what I said."

Urban reached out and stroked a thumb over my cheek as his other fingers curled under my chin. "Yeah, well, I could've worded things better."

Yeah. He could have.

"That's not what started it, though." I took a drink and then a deep breath. "First Bryson showed up—again. Which I told you about at camp. Then I was pissy with you"—I gave him an apologetic look—"and that sucked because you're always nice to me and I shouldn't lash out."

"Forget about it," he told me as he stuffed a couple of green beans into his mouth. "It happens."

"But then I was in a worse mood and when I was leaving for the day. My sister Telly called and wanted money."

He stopped eating and looked me in the eye. "Why is your sister asking you for money?"

Right. That was going to lead into a whole family discussion. "That's how my family is. Or most of my family. I have one sister I don't talk to at all, another I talk to sometimes and she asks me for money a lot. My brother and I are sort of close and he doesn't ask me for things. Then there are my parents, who think that I'm supposed to hand over whatever anyone needs because I make more money than they do."

He furrowed his brows. "Did you give it to her?"

"No," I said with a touch of outrage that he thought I'd do that. "I didn't give it to her. Despite what people think, teachers aren't highly paid."

"No one thinks that. "

I snorted. "My family thinks that."

"Then they're idiots."

Well, that, I couldn't disagree with. "Anyway. It was one crappy thing after another, and I'm glad that day is over."

"Sounds like you need ice cream cake," he told me, as if I hadn't just dumped my family drama on him. The fact that he didn't ask any follow-up questions made me warm inside. I didn't want to tell him why I didn't talk to my sister anymore. I didn't want to be put in a position to defend any of them because I wouldn't, yet I also didn't want someone else shitting all over them.

My relationship with my family was complicated at best, toxic at worst. It was the reason I didn't see them much.

"Let me clean this up and we can bring it out."

When I stood to clear the table, Urban did too. He helped me clear, scrape, and load the dishwasher. I wouldn't turn it on until later tonight because it wasn't full yet. Then we went back to the table with the ice cream cake.

I was going to grab plates but figured that it was small enough that we could share it as it was. Two forks were all we needed and our drinks were still on the table .

Urban sat back in his chair and I pulled mine over to the corner next to him so that we could both reach the cake. Then I folded one leg under me.

"You first," he said, indicating the cake.

I took a normal-sized spoonful. The ice cream melted into a creamy goodness in my mouth.

"This is what I needed," I told him. "I'm not even hungry anymore. This is for the soul."

He chuckled. "Well, I'm glad I could satisfy your soul."

I took two more bites before broaching the subject that I knew we needed to talk about. "I don't want you asking your sister to find out things about me."

He stopped and cocked his head to the side, a spoonful of ice cream cake in front of him. "Why not?"

I wet my suddenly dry lips. "I don't want anyone to think we're dating. We probably shouldn't be seen together in public, either. Today was fine because it was a camp outing, but in general."

"We are dating. It's casual but we're dating."

I sat up straight. "No we're not. I don't date."

"What do you call this, Everly?" he asked. "Do you make dinner for all your one-nighters?"

"Well, no— "

"Did you talk to any of them every night?"

I sighed because I hated where this was going. He wasn't wrong, which meant it'd have to end. "No."

"So we're dating." He shrugged. "It's not a big deal. It doesn't change anything. I'm not looking for anything serious so you don't have to freak out."

I went back to the ice cream cake so that I'd have something to do and I didn't want it to melt. "But I can't date, Urban. It's not something I'm willing to do."

He furrowed his brows again. "But you are." Then he sat back. "Do you at least want to tell me why you don't think you date?"

Though I wanted to argue the wording of his question, I wasn't going to. It wouldn't matter in the end because he was right. This sure did feel like a date when you put a romantic spin on it.

"Not really," I said honestly. "It's kind of embarrassing."

He shook his head. "Probably not for you."

He was wrong on that, but I'd tell him anyway. "My first serious boyfriend my freshman year in college… He was…" I swallowed hard. "Like my first, first." There was no reason to hide it. "We'd been together for a month, and I brought him home at Christmas for my sanity and I warned him about my family."

"They didn't like him?"

"It wasn't that. Actually, one of them liked him too much." My gaze went to the cake so I wouldn't have to look at him when I said this. "My sister Janelle—she's the one I don't talk to… I walked in on the two of them fucking in the basement."

"Shit."

"Yeah. Shit. I still had to ride back to school with him. The entire time he said he was sorry. He couldn't help himself. She was just…" Again, I had to swallow. "Better than me. Not in general, but apparently at sex."

"That's bullshit."

I shrugged. "I didn't know what I was doing. He was the first person I'd been with, but yeah… It was embarrassing for me. Not for him."

His spoon made a sound on the table, then his hand slid along my jaw and forced my head up so that I'd have to look at him.

"That's embarrassing for him . If you didn't know what you were doing and wanted to learn, he should've taught you. Not fucked your sister."

I nodded. There'd been more to it than that, at least to me there had been, but I didn't want to get into it. Urban removed his hand, but it looked like he'd done so reluctantly.

"I waited two years before I had a serious boyfriend again. It was going into my senior year. I had an apartment. Things were going to be great. I'd started dating him in the summer. Things were good, I thought."

"Then?" Because he clearly knew the other shoe was going to drop.

"Then I found out that he had put everything in my apartment on the marketplace and was trying to organize people picking things up all on the same day, so when I got home, everything would just be gone."

" What ?" he said, a little too loudly.

"Yeah. I found out because a friend saw the listings. He was arrested, but I didn't follow up to see what came of it."

"Well, fuck, Everly. That alone would definitely have you swear off men."

"Yeah, well, strike three came in the form of my last semi-serious boyfriend. I was cautious. Thought I'd done my due diligence. Then I discovered he'd started sleeping with one of the teachers at my school. This was two years ago. "

"The school you teach at now?" he asked. I nodded. "Does she still work there?"

I snorted. "Yup. She works there. They're married, so I still see him from time to time. I don't really care because if he cheated on me, he'll cheat on her, but like it's hard working with someone you can't trust."

"I bet it is. So those are the three strikes," he said softly. I nodded. "And you've sworn off men?"

"No. Clearly, I haven't sworn off men. You're here, aren't you?"

"I am."

"I've sworn off relationships. The minute my heart gets involved, I know it's going to get broken."

The silence hung between us until he said, "Well, fuck."

"I mean… it sucked," I told him. "I'm over it. Not pining for any of those losers, but it's made me guard my heart."

"Clearly." He sat forward and set his hand on my thigh. "But even if I'm not looking to make you fall in love with me, it makes everything a fuck of a lot harder for the rest of us."