Chapter 2

Hollis sipped her wine, internally cursing herself for coming on too strong, too fast. She was so out of her depth here this weekend. In all of her daydreaming about what her life might look like when she finally let herself be who she was meant to be, she'd forgotten to think about what this part might look like. What it would be like to approach a woman at a bar? Although she never would have imagined someone as young as Kate. She'd just intended to get a drink and leave, but she'd been intrigued by Kate, and then she was asking her to join her out here without putting too much thought into it.

Maybe Hollis could do with putting more thought into her words now, because she was pretty sure she'd lost Kate. Scared her off completely with that simple, somewhat suggestive comment.

Hollis met Kate's gaze, her expression unreadable for a moment before a faint smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Maybe trouble isn't always such a bad thing," Kate mused, her voice low and tinged with a hint of mischief. "I think I might be tired of playing it safe."

Hollis returned her smile before she took another drink. She was shockingly inexperienced at all this. She married Gary twenty years ago. She'd just turned twenty-four, and back then, it never crossed her mind that the reason she didn't feel a physical attraction towards someone she loved spending time with could be because she was gay.

But over the past decade, it had become clear to her that there was nothing wrong with her, despite what Gary had always implied. She shouldn't go see a therapist because she never wanted to sleep with him. She didn't need to unlock some childhood trauma that she was unaware of because she could never get off when they did have sex.

And that was what had taken her so long to get to this point, to be ready to finally file for divorce, to put herself out there.

"Tell me about New York," Hollis said after a moment, getting away from her own thoughts. Maybe Kate was right. This was brave, coming here on her own like this. "Do you miss it?"

Kate exhaled softly. "I miss the city. I loved my time there. But the rest of it? I'm so glad that part of my life is behind me."

"What's the rest of it?" Hollis asked. "If you don't mind me asking," she added as she studied Kate, watching her angle her body towards Hollis on the couch and tuck a lock of her blond hair behind her ear.

"No. Not at all. Well, I worked like crazy to be able to afford to live in the city, so my day-to-day life was a bit hectic, but then when I got home… I don't know. I don't know how I ended up staying with my ex for the last five years. It's been so long since we were good together, maybe just that first year, that I can barely remember those times."

"Don't be too hard on yourself," Hollis offered. "I'm trying not to be anyway, and I'm twenty years into a marriage that was doomed from the start. You were young. Maybe in love. How were you to know that it wouldn't work out?"

"You're not bi?"

Hollis shook her head. "No. And I've been living with regrets of different kinds for just about every one of those twenty years, so… It could be worse." She hadn't meant to bring down the mood, but the words just flowed out of her, like she was talking to someone she'd known for years rather than just a few minutes.

"And now you're here," Kate said, holding her gaze. "Ready to start over."

"Yes. So ready," Hollis said with a soft laugh as she lifted her glass to her lips and took another drink, the smooth Merlot going down so easily.

"What about you? Where's home? Will you stay in the same area when you're officially divorced?"

Hollis ran her fingers through her hair as she crossed one leg over the other, angling her body more towards Kate. "Los Angeles, and I imagine I'll stay semi-local. I'll be downsizing. That's for sure."

"What part?"

"Pasadena."

"I'm in Glendale."

"We're practically neighbors," Hollis said with a smile despite the fact that she'd come to this weekend with zero expectations of meeting someone who she might continue to see when she went back to her normal life. For one, she was going to be going through all the potential messiness of a divorce, and having an affair while doing so wasn't an option. Plus, Hollis was trying to be realistic. She knew she had years and years of pent up desires and emotions ready to spill out, and that's why she'd chosen this weekend rather than signing up for a dating site while trying to hide her identity. Nothing about this weekend could be serious. This was about her exploring her own wants and needs for once in her life, and it had nothing to do with her life in Los Angeles.

Perhaps Kate was thinking the same thing because she didn't dwell on the subject of them living within a short drive of one another. "And what about you?" Kate asked after she finished her mojito. "Have you been seeing women all along? I'm not judging, by the way. I'm just curious."

"As in, do I have experience with women?"

Kate nodded.

"None," Hollis said softly. She didn't hesitate telling Kate the truth. Part of her was embarrassed. Part of her was relieved, because saying it out loud meant that if things progressed with Kate tonight, and it was a massive ‘if,' then at least Kate would be aware, and she could temper her expectations accordingly.

Although, a part of Hollis wondered if she was in bed with another woman, would she actually be naturally good at it, because for once she could just act without filtering her thoughts or calculating every move, trying to do the expected thing. She would be acting on impulse, and the thought both thrilled and terrified her.

"When was the last time you kissed another woman?" Kate asked, her voice gentle, without judgement.

This time Hollis had to look away, certain she was blushing. That question was harder to answer. The fact that she'd never once been in a position where she felt like she could act on her attraction to another woman was astonishing.

Hollis had imagined what it would be like, how soft another woman's lips might be, how electric the chemistry could be, but they had always been fantasies. Not once had she ever been kissed by a woman.

"I'm sorry if?—"

Hollis shook her head. "No. No it's fine. It's just kind of hitting me how far off track my life has gotten. To answer your question," Hollis said with a sigh, "Never." She forced herself to look at Kate, to gauge her reaction, sure that she was going to scare this woman off with such an admission, although that would probably be for the best. Hollis almost didn't even want to know how old Kate was. Early thirties at best? Late twenties at worst? Was she really going to let her first experience with another woman be with someone at least fifteen years younger than her? It was madness.

"Hey," Kate said, reaching out over the short space between them and placing her hand over Hollis's, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay. I'm not going to try and pretend that I can relate, but the fact that you're here, that you came to something like this on your own," Kate said, her eyes surveying the dozens of women by the bar and the pool, "Is amazing. I know I'd never be able to do that. And I think you should give yourself some credit for that. For taking a chance."

Hollis glanced down at Kate's hand over hers, trying to ignore the way that simple touch set off a tingling sensation that chased up her bare arm. She took a drink to distract herself and finished what was left of her wine. She left the empty glass on the table beside the couch, Kate's hand still over hers. "Thank you for saying that. But I think I might have used up all of that bravery on coming here," she said with a hint of a smile.

Kate shifted her hand, and Hollis was sure that she was about to withdraw it completely, but she casually turned Hollis's over. Kate's fingers lingered, tracing a lazy pattern over her palm before delicately sliding her hand over Hollis's, interlacing their fingers.

Hollis felt that smooth move everywhere, and in that moment she realized that she might have entirely underestimated what it would be like to be with another woman. These simple touches were awakening feelings inside her, igniting synapses that had long been dormant.

Kate lifted her head to meet Hollis's eyes. "I don't think you've used it all up," she said softly.

"No?" Hollis searched Kate's eyes. She knew she wasn't drunk, but she felt so light, so drawn to Kate, almost intoxicatingly so, that Hollis was questioning her judgement. She'd already regretted so much in her life. Was she really going to put a stop to whatever this was just because Kate was so much younger than her?

"I think," Kate started, bringing her free hand up to Hollis's face to brush a lock of hair behind her ear, her fingers grazing Hollis's cheek before she let her hand fall, "That if you wanted to, you could seduce any woman you wanted."

Hollis smiled, the nervous energy running through her ebbed and flowed as this conversation continued. One minute, Hollis was tempted to find an excuse to leave, to offer to go get them drinks, and the next, she was hanging on Kate's every word. "You think so?"

"I know it," Kate said, her lips sliding into an easy smile.

"What if I wanted to seduce you?" Hollis asked, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she had a chance to catch them. Her heart pounded in her chest, her words hanging in the air between them.

"Then I'd say that you're doing a pretty good job," Kate said, her voice low as her gaze dropped to Hollis's lips before returning to her eyes.

Hollis swallowed. Isn't this why she'd put herself on the waitlist for this weekend? She searched Kate's eyes as leaned in, closing the space between them, until she let her eyes flutter shut, her hand resting on Kate's bare thigh. A tiny whimper escaped Kate's lips at the contact, sending a wave of desire through Hollis, giving her the confidence to brush her lips over Kate's.

A shiver chased up Hollis's spine. Kate's lips were so soft, and when Kate's warm hand came up to her cheek, Hollis tilted her head to give her greater access, parting her lips. Hollis's hand inched higher, her fingers brushing the cuff of Kate's shorts as they deepened the kiss, Kate's skin warm and smooth beneath her fingertips.

Kate's hand slid out of Hollis's, landing on her neck while Hollis's hand left Kate's thigh, moving over her hip instead as the space between them disappeared.

Hollis lost herself in Kate, in her addictive lips, in her sweet perfume. The sound of the music faded into the background, and all Hollis could hear was Kate's soft moan as she pressed her body into Hollis's. And when Kate's tongue skimmed over hers? Hollis knew that if nothing else happened this weekend, she was already going home a changed woman. Whatever doubts she had about filing for divorce and having to start over were gone. This was worth it. This was so worth it.

Hollis kissed Kate back with a greater intensity, aware that they were still out in public but thankfully tucked away from most of the guests' view, but it was hard to think about anything other than Kate's lips on hers. Hollis was dizzy with desire, with want, and no matter how sensible she wanted to be, it felt like spending the rest of the night with Kate was inevitable.