88. Chapter Eighty-Eight

Chapter Eighty-Eight

Beth

A s soon as I realize Rourke's mother was behind our breakup, my memories of that moment start to shift. Little things that seemed meaningless at the time suddenly make sense.

The way he made sure he told me he'd never not love me the night before, and that I should remember that, always. It was just another declaration, until he hurt me. Then, it was a lie.

But it wasn't a lie, and I think he did that to try and lessen the blow in some small way.

He was always thinking of the little things, and going out of his way to make me feel loved.

Up until he blew our relationship up.

I make my way from the living room to the bedroom, hoping I haven't already scared him away.

He did spend a long time sitting out in the hallway before, but eventually, he left.

I go straight to the window and haul the drapes apart.

He's leaning against the wall when I pull the window open.

He looks in at me, and my eyes fill with tears.

"I know," I tell him.

"You know?" he asks, his voice soft.

"Your mother didn't like me, and someone just reminded me how much weight she carries with Cressidan City College."

Saying that out loud makes it feel like a sick joke.

He broke up with me because of his psycho parents.

It's so fucked up.

"I knew if I kept seeing you, it would just be the start," he admits. "She's vicious, Beth. I didn't want her to ruin your life."

"And you didn't think that losing you might be enough to ruin it?"

He shakes his head. "You're strong. Stronger than I am. I knew you'd be okay."

"Well, I'm not okay," I tell him, my voice shaking. "I haven't been okay since we broke up. You don't know how much it messed me up thinking you spent all those months lying about being in love out of some weird desire to torture me."

He sighs. "I thought I had to push hard to make you walk away, but I know now that wasn't my only option. I wish I'd figured it out sooner, but my mother …"

"You know what she's like, and you were only trying to protect me from her."

"Pretty much."

"So, what's changed?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I have. I broke away from my parents and joined Cressidan City Police Department. I haven't spoken to them in months. I'll never speak to them again if I can help it. They don't get to dictate my life for me."

"I really wish you'd worked that out sooner," I admit.

He smiles. "Believe me, I wish I had, too."

"Come in. You must be freezing out there."

I pull the window open wider and he climbs into the room, dusting off his jeans once he's inside.

Neither of us seem to know what to say to each other, now that we're standing here like this.

Well, hello, awkward energy, where have you been hiding?

I look him over and I can tell he hasn't been sleeping well. His eyes are tired, he's got stubble, and his posture is slouched. He doesn't carry himself like the most popular guy in school anymore, I guess because he's not.

Despite the rough edges, my ex-boyfriend is still as gorgeous as ever, with those pretty sapphire eyes with the silvery flecks that make them seem to sparkle. His dirty blond hair has gotten a little longer, just enough that he's starting to look like he needs a haircut.

He's hot enough to pull off the dishevelled look, for sure, but he doesn't need to know that.

Right now, I can't think of anything more to say to him.

I can understand why he did what he did now, but that doesn't make everything okay.

"How much do you hate me?" he asks.

"I don't hate you. I'm so fucking mad at you, but I've never hated you."

He blinks slowly. "I was sure …"

"I love you," I murmur, kind of annoyed that it comes out so easily. "That's why it hurt so fucking badly when you said all those shitty things to me out of the blue. It broke my heart."

He stands there staring back at me, looking completely stunned.

I let out a soft sigh. "Are you going to tell me you love me back, or have you turned into an asshole since we broke up?"

"I love you, of course I do," he blurts. "I never stopped."

"Well, that's something." It feels good to hear it, but it's going to take time to really believe it.

"Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake of my life. I wish I'd told you what was going on."

"Well, why didn't you? You told me how your mom was. I would have understood."

"I was worried that you might give up on the idea of college to be with me. I wanted us to stay together but I knew if we did my mother would find other ways to try and split us apart."

I nod. It makes sense. It doesn't heal the hurt, not completely, but it helps.

"Well, I'm quitting my course now, anyway, so the college thing wouldn't have mattered, but I know how your mother is, and I know the breakup hurt you as much as it hurt me."

That's a hard one to admit, but I can see how unhappy he is without me.

He didn't just hurt me. He pushed away the only person who loved him.

That wasn't an easy thing to do.

His heart was in the right place.

"I only care about you," he says.

"Well, it's time you started caring about yourself, too," I tell him, bringing out a wry smile. "I'm not willing to have a mate who doesn't look after himself."

"You're still willing to have me as your mate?" he sounds astounded, as he should.

He said some awful things on the day we broke up. It's going to take a while to forget all of that.

"On a few conditions," I add, not willing to make it easy for him, even if I've missed him like crazy. "One, come meet my sister and two, apologise to Jack."

"And?" he asks, as he takes my outstretched hand.

"And I'll think of the rest of the conditions later."

"Fair," he tells me.

I lead him into the living room to meet two of the most important people in my life.

He behaves like the perfect gentleman, and I see traces of the boy I knew in this new version of Rourke Mariner.

He hasn't changed too much. He just has some rougher edges now.

I smile at him, and he smiles back.

It feels like everything's starting to click together.

All the puzzle pieces of my life are about to make a complete picture.

It's exciting. I can hardly wait to see what it looks like at the end.