18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

Rourke

T here's a fine line between criminal behavior and following Alpha instincts. Love can make a man capable of almost anything, and losing the woman he would do anything for blurs that line until it's basically invisible.

I wouldn't call what I'm doing right now stalking, but my superiors might.

I guess it's kind of funny that the one job I gravitated toward outside of my parent's control is the same damn job that would condemn the behavior that I've been driven to ever since I was forced to walk away from my one true mate.

I watch as Beth walks out of the mall's top-level arcade with her eldest sister Catherine.

It's only been a couple days since Beth was rescued by her friend's mom, and knowing what she went through has made it impossible to concentrate on anything but watching over her.

If I'd only had the balls to speak to her before that asshole talked her into going home with him, she never would have had to go through any of that.

That's what cuts me up inside.

I wasn't looking after her like I should have been.

I let myself believe she would be better off without me.

But I know I'm not better without her, and she's not meant to be alone.

Fate brought us together for a reason.

She needs the protection of an Alpha.

This is the only way I can give her that without forcing her to speak to me.

I know she hates me for what I did.

She should.

I don't deserve a second chance.

My decision pushed her away, and slammed the door shut on any shot we might have had at forever. There's nothing I can do to reverse that.

Explanations won't help.

No matter what, I still broke her heart.

I can never forgive myself for that, and I can't expect her to do what I can't.

I don't know how I screwed things up this fucking badly.

When I first got out here, she was still in Sapphire Valley.

I had plenty of time to plan, but I didn't know where to start.

Then I was working my way through the police academy. I gave that my focus because it stopped me from having to think about anything else. It felt good to put everything into something that actually worked as a distraction.

Once that was done, I went right back to thinking about what I was missing.

So, the same day that I graduated, I went out looking.

It wasn't difficult to find her.

But it cut me up to see her again.

She seemed so damn happy.

That's when I knew I couldn't approach her.

More than a year has passed since we were together.

I've been broken that whole time, a jagged mess of rough edges that can't be smoothed out.

She's moved past it already, her resilient nature obvious.

She looks as good as she did when we first met, and she still feels like she's mine.

It doesn't matter that she's not.

I can't ever stop watching over her now.

She's mine to keep safe, like I promised when I claimed her.

I shouldn't have forgotten that. I won't forget it a second time.

Nothing's more important to me than keeping that promise.

It doesn't matter that we didn't complete our bonding.

She owns my heart, and I'll never let her down again.