Chapter 16

chapter sixteen

Grant

I know this isn't supposed to be an actual date. This is supposed to be practice at being a real couple so that Addie feels more comfortable when I touch her in public.

But I'm having a hard time pretending that it's not .

Maybe we're just caught up in the moment… or maybe we're not. Who fucking knows, but what I do know is that I'm not in any rush for tonight to come to an end.

Rising from the blanket, I sit up and peer down at her. "How about we use the telescope? I have absolutely no idea what to do, but I figured that you probably would."

Excitement dances in her eyes at the mention of the telescope that Davis somehow borrowed from the astronomy club, and she nods eagerly, sitting up.

I was a little worried that she would think it was lame that I set all of this up or that it was too much, but seeing the expression on her face when she first saw it, I knew that I made the right decision.

Even more so now when she bounds over to the telescope and starts twisting the knobs without hesitation. Art and space are Addie's things. That much I know, even if I'm still finding out the rest.

"I'm not sure I even want to know how you just so happened to have a Bushnell handy for tonight." Her blonde brow arches as she glances from the telescope and then back to me. The expression on her face is a mixture of awe and something that I can't quite decipher.

My lip twitches, and I chuckle with a shrug. "Called in another favor. But I have been threatened with bodily harm if I don't return it in the exact condition that it was stolen in."

"Stolen?" Addie squeaks, her ocean eyes wide. "Grant…"

"Just kidding." Winking, I walk to where she's standing beside the large telescope. "You know how to work it?"

She nods as she tucks a wave of her hair behind her ear. "Of course. I mean… I've never owned one this nice, but I saved for two years when I was a freshman in high school so I could get one off of eBay. Mine was secondhand and primarily for hobbyists, but most, not all, work universally… no pun intended."

Even in only the pale moonlight and dim light of the candles, I can still see her cheeks flush red at the cheesy pun, and I laugh, the sound echoing around the empty field.

"Alright, ArtGirl, do your thing, then."

I watch as she nods and bites her bottom lip. She glances at the sky a few times, then turns toward the telescope and uses one eye to peer into the lens while adjusting several of the knobs on the side.

It's pretty fascinating watching her work, clearly full of knowledge that I'll never possess. She's brilliant.

"Okay, you should be able to see Telescopium," she mumbles, still peering into the eyepiece. "Just be careful not to jostle it."

When she steps back and to the side, I take her place, looking into the eyepiece, holding on to the sides of the telescope. I see… nothing but black.

"Do you see it?"

Shaking my head, I pull back slightly. "No, all I see is darkness?"

"It's just kind of hard at first because even the slightest movement will cause you to lose the target."

When she steps closer, I feel the warmth of her bare arm brushing against the front of my shirt, the strands of her soft curls drifting along my skin. So close that I lose my head, and now the problem is… I'm not thinking about the stars or the damn telescope any longer. I'm thinking about her .

About how sweet she smells and how warm her body is next to mine. How my hands itch to touch her. How all I want to do is pull her to me and kiss the fuck out of her.

Taking the smallest step back, I murmur, "Maybe you can show me what I'm doing wrong, then? Maybe I just need a… lesson ?"

My words feel heavy with what they really mean, and I expect her to nod and scramble away, but instead, her rosy pink lips part, and her eyes flicker with… something new.

There's the same hesitancy, but not like before. There's heat in her gaze.

I'm not the only one that feels the chemistry between us. The invisible string of… something … constantly pulling taut when we're together.

Everything would be easier if I didn't have this attraction to Addie. This want that I can't seem to push away no matter how much I try. It complicates everything, makes this entire situation a tangled fucking mess. But a large part of me doesn't even care because I don't think I've ever been so attracted to anyone before.

"We should probably… practice?" she breathes, her eyes dropping to my lips as she speaks. "Right? That's why we're here?"

"We can do whatever you're comfortable with, Addie. It's your decision."

Her throat bobs as she swallows roughly, her gaze lingering on mine, and then she nods. "Yes. I-I think we should."

Thank fuck. I want to kiss her so badly that everything inside me physically aches, but if she wasn't comfortable with it, I would've waited forever. If that's what she needed.

"I have an idea. About…" I rasp as I gently reach for her fingers and intertwine them in mine. " Practicing ."

She nods, biting that plump little rosy lip, gazing up at me with wide eyes.

Stepping back, I lead her back to the blanket and gently pull her down beside me.

"I think the only way to make you more comfortable… is for you to feel in control. Your consent is everything, Addie, even if this is just an arrangement. I will never touch you without your permission." Lifting her hand, I bring it to my face and place it along the curve of my jaw. "I want you to touch me first. Until you no longer feel nervous or anxious. Is that okay?"

"Yes," she whispers in a rush of breathless words, whether from nerves or anticipation, I can't tell, but I stay still, waiting for her to make the next move. "Yes. It's okay."

My gaze is steady on her as she lifts a shaky hand and tentatively sweeps the pad of her thumb along the edge of my jaw before trailing her fingers to my lips and ghosting them across. The barest of caresses, yet I still feel my spine stiffening and my breath catching in my chest.

Her fingers trace my bottom lip softly, and I watch as her eyes shift down to where her fingers meet my mouth, and she swallows roughly.

I'm not sure if she's even noticed that she's leaned in, closer and closer with each brush of her fingers. Her hand moves lower until it's resting along my jaw, and then she slides it to my neck, to the back of my nape, gently tangling her fingers in the hair there.

A shiver races down my spine, and an audible hiss tears from my lips before I can stop it, causing her to pause and glance up at me.

"Is this okay?" she asks so softly that it's almost a whisper.

I nod, remaining silent because I don't trust myself to speak right now.

"Would you… kiss me?" she breathes so quietly that I almost miss it. "Like you did at the chapel?"

My eyes land on hers, her eyes sparkling with trust. "You want me to kiss you again, Addie?"

Rolling her lip between her teeth, she nods. "Yes."

Now it's me who swallows roughly, my throat working as I bring my hand to her face, cradling her jaw tenderly in my palm. When I lean in, our gazes locked, I feel her fingers tightening in the hair at my nape as if she's anticipating this almost as much as I am.

There's no way that she doesn't feel whatever this is between us.

It's like every cell in my body is screaming to kiss her, and I know at this exact moment that I'm hopeless in my pursuit to deny this pull.

Gently, I tug her closer until we're only centimeters apart, both of us breathing heavily until my lips finally touch hers… a crescendo of longing that finally peaks. I move my lips over hers gently at first, unhurriedly committing what she feels like to memory. Each movement is deliberate, a languid exploration that we weren't afforded the first time.

My tongue traces the seam of her lips, tasting her, savoring her until her lips part and her fingers tighten further in my hair. A quiet whimper escapes as I pull her even closer and slide my tongue into her mouth, kissing her the way I've been dreaming of since we stood at the altar.

Since I made her my wife.

Every sweep of my tongue along hers feels more intense, a buzzing beneath my skin that only she seems to ignite, and I'm completely drunk off the feeling.

Drunk off her.

She pulls back, panting as she gazes up at me with hazy, unfocused eyes. "Was it okay? Am I-I… doing it right?"

I almost fucking groan at her question, so sweet and innocent. Instead, I pull her back to me, both of my hands on her neck, thumbs caressing her cheeks, and murmur against her lips, "Mmm. Too soon to say. Gonna need to try it again. For educational purposes."

I feel her smiling, and then I'm capturing her lips again, slipping my tongue back inside her mouth and gently threading my fingers through her hair as I angle her head to kiss her deeper. It still isn't close enough.

I want to haul her into my lap and never stop kissing her.

Suddenly, the stadium lights flick on, one after another, illuminating the field and causing us to both stiffen, then jump apart.

Oh shit.

I pulled a few strings to come here tonight, but… that doesn't mean I'm technically supposed to be here. I've got a lot of perks being a player, but sneaking into the stadium when it's closed isn't one of them.

With the lights, I get my first true glimpse of Addie since we arrived. Her cheeks are flushed red, her lips swollen and puffy from kissing me while her eyes flare with a mixture of heat and trepidation.

I don't have time to drink in the sight of her as much as I really fucking want to, though, because we're about to get caught.

"Shit," I mutter. Lacing my fingers with hers, I tug her to her feet and pull her toward the dugout. "We gotta run. Like… actually run."

She squeaks, her eyes wide, but she keeps up as we sprint. With her small hand squeezed tightly in mine and her other hand clutching onto her cardigan like a vise, we somehow make it back inside before the security guard, booking it down the hallway.

We run all the way to the truck and tumble inside, both of us breathing hard as I turn on the engine.

After a second of anxious silence, she erupts into giggles, throwing her head back and sinking into the seat. It's the sweetest sound, her laughter, and I realize just how much I love it. How it might just be the best sound I've ever heard. Maybe my favorite. And then, we're both laughing until tears form in our eyes from the exertion.

"That was scary but also kind of exciting? I've never in my life done anything like that before," she mumbles once she can finally breathe. When she looks over at me, there's the cheekiest smile tilting her lips, and it takes everything inside of me not to haul her over the console and kiss her again.

"Sometimes doing something scary makes you feel alive. And we all need to feel alive."

Shyly, she tucks her hair behind her ear and nods. "Thank you for tonight, Grant. It was amazing… All of it."

I bite the inside of my cheek to stifle my grin and fail. I love teasing her almost as much as I love kissing her. "You trying to tell me you like kissing me, ArtGirl?"

Her cheeks bloom red as she ducks her head and covers her face with her hands. "God, I'm so inexperienced, and it was probably terrible for you. I'm so so?—"

I reach out and gently close my fingers around her wrist, tugging her hand down until she looks up at me, stopping whatever nonsense was about to come out of her mouth.

"It was the best fucking kiss I've ever had, Addie. There's no question." And I mean it.

I say nothing else because I want to let what I'm saying fully sink into her. That this kiss has ruined me for all other ones, that I don't even want to think about kissing anyone who isn't her.

Not that I can tell her that, not yet, but it's true.

Finally, she nods, and I give her a smirk as I put the truck in reverse and pull out of the parking spot. We never stop talking the entire drive home.

It's never been like that with anyone in my life, even the guys, and it's a little staggering, if I'm being honest. When we get to the apartment and walk inside, I toe off my shoes and hang my keys on the rack by the door.

Addie hangs her cardigan up and then walks over and sits beside Auggie, who's looking as excited as I've ever seen him. I get it, Augs. I miss her when she's not around too. She scratches his ears lovingly, then rubs his chunky belly, wearing an adoring smile that she reserves just for him. His pudgy body vibrates with happiness.

It's easy to forget that besides Earl and Amos… Auggie is her closest friend, and they share a bond that a lot of people never have with their animals. And I'm really happy she has him.

I stretch my arms over my head, a yawn escaping in the process, and she glances up at me, her brow furrowed.

"Crap, I'm on your bed, I'm sorry." She pushes to her feet quickly, but I stop her before she can escape to the bedroom.

"It's okay. I'm just tired from my workout this morning. I've been training harder than I normally do to get ready for preseason. Trust me, I'm in no hurry to hang off that thing all night. Stay as long as you'd like." I wink before disappearing through the entryway to the kitchen for a bottle of water.

I grab us both one and walk back out into the living room, where I find her staring off into the distance, chewing on the tip of her nail, lost in thought.

"You can sleep with me," she blurts out suddenly, her eyes widening in alarm as she starts to backtrack. "No. I mean… literal sleeping. We can share your bed. I-I… I don't want you to have to keep sleeping on this couch. You're too big for it, and it's uncomfortable, and I feel terrible when I get in bed at night and I have to think about you out here on the sofa that makes your back hurt. Especially with your training." She's nervously rambling, and it might actually be the cutest thing I've ever fucking heard. "I mean, not that I lay in bed and think about you all night. I just mean when I'm thinking about you out here being uncomfortable. This is coming out all wrong." Finally, she pauses, blowing out an exasperated breath before restarting, this time less rambly. "What I'm trying to say is… we're both adults. We can share the same bed platonically. It's literally huge. That way, your back won't hurt anymore, and I won't have to feel guilty about stealing your bed. Easy-peasy."

My brow arches in amusement, and she winces. "Please put me out of my misery because I want to die currently."

I close the distance between us and set the bottles of water down on the table. "Please don't die. I'm way too young to be a widower." When she gives me a small smile, I shoot her a playful wink before my expression sobers slightly. "Addie, if you're comfortable with sharing a bed with me, then great, I'd take you up on it, but also, if you're not and just feeling obligated to offer… There's absolutely no pressure. I'm perfectly fine out here on the couch, or I wouldn't have offered. Besides, Auggie's been sneaking out to sleep with me, and he and I are becoming fast friends, thanks to the spooning."

She shakes her head rapidly. "No. I'm sure. Every night, I feel ridiculously guilty that I've inadvertently kicked you out of your own space, and it's fine… no big deal. We can totally do this."

"Are you really sure?"

"Yes," she says, her voice steady.

"Okay. You go get changed first, and I'll take Auggie out? Give you time to get settled?" I say, glancing over at Auggie, whose ears perk at the mention of his name.

Addie nods and reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear. She opens her mouth as if she's going to say something but then abruptly closes it and disappears down the hallway into our bedroom.

Thankfully, Auggie's not interested in staying outside in the hot, humid heat, so he quickly takes care of business. I hang up his leash on the rack once we're back inside, watching as he pads back to his signature spot on the sofa and flops down like the outing took every ounce of his energy. When he cocks his head to the side and stares at me with a look that can only be construed as judgy, I shake my head.

"Don't look at me like that. I know exactly what you're thinking." My brow arches. "It'll be fine. I can handle platonically sharing a bed."

Somehow, he looks as if he doesn't believe me. Not sure how that's possible since he's a dog, but then again, here I am having a full conversation with him like he's going to participate.

The real problem though?

I'm not sure if I'm trying to convince him or myself.