Chapter 11

Walker leanedagainst the thin wooden walls, watching Blair pace the small shack on the opposite side of the room. She'd all but passed out in his arms for thirty minutes before she'd bolted up — surging to her feet in a flurry of terrycloth. He hadn't tried to stop her, and she'd been agitated ever since.

Not that he was surprised. This was definitely one fucked-up situation.

Gretta looked over at him, nodding toward Blair. What he assumed was Gretta's way of telling him she wanted him to take the initiative. What he'd thought Gretta would do the moment Blair was coherent. But Gretta had stayed oddly distant. Either wanting Blair to have a bit of space or maybe Gretta was still hurt her sister had left without so much as a text. Some form of goodbye like Blair had left him.

Walker took a breath then pushed off, moving into the center of the room. And just like that, Blair froze. No stumbling steps or glancing his way, first. Just her inhaling, then stopping. Dead.

She swallowed, looked as if she might puke, then met his gaze, her eyes wide. All that stunning green lost amidst the white. She focused on Gretta and Corbin for a moment, then back to him, wetting her lips with a quick swipe of her tongue.

And damn if he didn't want to close the last of the space between them and take her mouth in his. Prove this wasn't a dream and that she was still alive. Still part of his life.

Gretta frowned, giving Corbin's hand a tug. "We should probably let the two of you talk. There's another shack beside this one. We'll be next door when you're ready."

"Wait." Blair held up her hands as if she were a Jedi and could use the Force to stop her sister from leaving. "Before we get into it. Start tossing around accusations and explanations…" She sighed. "What's going to be a lifetime's worth of apologies, I need to say thank you."

She snorted. "Though, that hardly touches what you all did, but regardless, thank you."

Gretta hitched out a hip, looking completely unimpressed. "Thank Walker. He took all the real risks. Was the only one who had a hint of what was really going on to start with."

Blair cringed, wringing her hands in the towel. "I know what you're thinking. I tried to send you a text, but I couldn't get any service. Which I now realize was because that sod, Leland, was probably jamming it. But…" She sighed. "Can we sit? Hash this out? Because I don't want the last twenty-four hours to ruin what we spent the past five months building."

She met Walker's gaze. "And I mean that with respect to everyone. Good intentions aside, I should have asked you all to have my back. I know that, now, but… Come on. Surely, you didn't come all this way to give me the silent treatment, yeah?"

Gretta huffed. "I hate when you do that. Get me to forget some of the reasons why I'm mad at you. And yeah, you should have called my mobile and told me that plonker, Montgomery, had called, and?—"

"I know. So, sit. This is far from over. And if we're all going to actually walk away from this without getting killed or having contracts put out on us, we'll need to work as a team. Something I forgot about because I've never really had one."

Blair nodded toward Gretta. "You were always too mad at me for following the rules to want to work together. And I was always too busy trying to straighten you out to let you. Not that it's an excuse, I just…"

She blew out an exasperated breath, fluttering the hairs around her face, and fuck, Walker wanted to go to her. Take her in his arms and never let go. Sure, he was angry. Upset that she hadn't trusted him. But the soldier part of him understood. That he'd have done the same thing if he'd still be in the service.

Gretta stood there for a bit longer before finally ambling over — giving Blair a light punch in the arm. "That wasn't fair. Using the truth on me. And I know we need to talk but… I think you and Walker need to clear the air, first. Come and get us when you two are done." Gretta grinned. "Assuming you don't kill each other."

Corbin, the ass, winked at Walker as he and Gretta walked past them, closing the door against the gusting winds.

Walker stood there, watching Blair watch him. Neither of them ready — hell, capable — of moving until she swallowed. Made a low moaning sound in the back of her throat. Just like when he'd first kissed her in his truck.

That got him moving. Striding across the hut, gathering her in his arms then pressing her against the wall. Not quite pinning her, like in the shower, but she'd have to shove him if she wanted to dart past. Escape.

Blair palmed his chest, looking as if she couldn't decide whether to dump him on his ass or fist his shirt and drag him closer — claim his mouth the way he wanted to claim hers.

He waited, seeing which way she'd lean, using all his restraint not to strip her down. Kiss every inch of her skin. Assure himself she hadn't suffered some fatal internal injury she was hiding from them. That she'd drop dead as soon as he gave her even an inch of space.

Instead, he metered his breathing, preparing for how he'd shove down all that love threatening to burst free if she decided she hadn't meant what she'd said. That loving him came at too great a cost.

It wasn't until she sighed, relaxing against the wall, that he allowed a glimmer of hope to seep through. Crack that stoic facade he'd built around him like armor.

She tilted her head, frowning as if she was following his train of thought. "I know you want answers, I just?—"

"I don't need answers, Blair."

She blinked, glancing around the room as if checking to see she hadn't missed something. "You don't need answers?"

"No. At least, not for what you're thinking. You don't have to explain about the mission. Why you left in the middle of the night without a word to anyone. Because at the end of the day, you're an operative. I knew that going in, and I accepted it. It's no different than when I was with Flight Concepts. Leaving at a moment's notice. No explanations. No second thoughts. You were doing your job. Whether I agree with how you executed it or not isn't the issue. In fact, there's only one thing I need an answer to."

She wet her lips, again, as if just standing that close to him had dried them. "What's that?"

This was it. The point of no return. Either she'd meant what she'd written, or he was about to lose the only woman he'd ever love.

A breath. Then, another, until Blair reached up — drew her finger along his jaw.

"Walker?"

"Why?"

Her brows furrowed. "Why…"

Walker reached into his pocket, removing the note she'd left. The one that had been weighing him down since he'd found it that morning. Christ, had it really only been this morning?

He held it up, ignoring her hushed gasp as he gave it a shake, holding it against the wall when he reclaimed his previous position. "I want to know why the hell you ended the letter with ‘I love you' when you thought you weren't going to make it back alive? Did you think it would make it easier when they finally found your body? That it would give me some kind of closure? Soften the blow that, at least, you'd confessed your love before going on a fucking suicide op? Because that's what this is, Blair. A suicide note. You just made it read better than most."

Nothing. Not a breath or a sound. Not even a blink as she stared up at him, mouth slightly open, eyes wide. He was just about to snap his fingers in front of her face when her eyes teared over, a few slipping down her cheeks.

That had him retreating. Giving her enough space she could slip out of his hold without touching him. She paced to the center of the room, looking more than a bit lost, as she turned. Shoulders hunched. Her hands fisted at her side.

She took a breath, much like he had, then drew herself up. What he assumed was the operative side of her pushing through. "That's what you want to know? Why I told you ‘I love you'? Because I thought that part was pretty obvious."

"What was obvious is that you were saying goodbye. And you didn't think you'd ever be coming back."

"Maybe I just needed you to know."

Walker closed half the distance, staying far enough away he wasn't crowding her to the point she might feel threatened. Boxed in, again. "Then, you should have woken me up and told me to my face."

"Don't you think I wanted to?"

"You had a choice."

"Did I? Or I was just too scared to choose the one you wanted."

"Scared of what? That bullshit that you wouldn't have had the strength to leave? Because you're the strongest person I know. And for the record, I would have told you I'd have your back. An option you didn't seem to consider."

"That's not what I was afraid of."

"Then, what?"

She cursed, stomping her foot on the floor as she marched over to him, giving him a firm shove back. Poking him in the chest with one small finger. "Fine. You want the truth? I didn't wake you up because I was scared you wouldn't say it back. That I'd have to leave on this godforsaken mission knowing you didn't feel the same. That I had nothing waiting for me. No reason to make it back alive. That, in the end, I was nothing more than a distraction. A fling you'd be more than happy to have disappear."

She pushed him, again, moving closer when his back hit the wall. "So, there. Now you know my deep dark secret, Walker. I'm in love with you, and it's killing me wondering if you'll ever feel the same."

He kissed her.

Not exactly his smartest move but standing there, her breath caressing his neck, her eyes brimming with unshed tears as she bared her damn soul, undid him. Had him reacting on instinct. Focusing on what would soothe the ache in his chest. Get his damn heart to start beating, again, because it had stopped the moment she'd said the words out loud. That simple act making everything acutely real.

Blair stiffened, her entire body frozen as if she didn't know how to respond. As if she hadn't considered he'd kiss her. Then she was all-in. Sliding her fingers through his hair, humming when he grabbed her around the waist — switched their positions. She wrapped one leg around his ass, keeping him crushed against her when he paused to catch a breath. See if she wanted him to say the words, back, first. If showing her wouldn't be enough.

She didn't even give him a second before she was on him. A brush of her hands, and his fly was open, his damn dick trying to push through the gap in the fabric. A shift of her fingers, and she had his jeans and briefs hugging his knees before she levered off the wall — all but climbed into his arms. Trusting him not to let her fall.

She wrapped her legs around him, her elbows braced on his shoulders — her body flattened against his. He didn't even need to remove her panties. Just pushed them to one side — was completely inside her a heartbeat later.

Blair inhaled, her head falling against the wall. Her mouth opening on a moan as her eyes rolled slightly, her muscles already starting to shake. He took a moment to watch her. Commit every reaction into memory. How her skin flushed as he started moving. The desperate purring noises she made when he bottomed out. How her grip tightened as her release grew closer.

"God, Walker. More."

He upped the pace, grunting as her muscles contracted and released around him until she was holding tight. Whispering his name in his ear. Nipping at his neck and shoulder as her body convulsed, the tiny ripples undoing him.

He thrust hard, pounding into her until his restraint shattered, leaving nothing but all that love holding him together. Walker mouthed her name as he jerked inside her, over and over until he was surprised they hadn't slid down the wall into a heap on the floor. That it was only those years of training that had kept him upright.

That, or it was her. Blair Hughes — MI6 agent and the woman who'd stolen his heart. Brought him back to life.

He returned to his senses, minutes, maybe hours later. The wind still howled against the old window on the far side of the room. The wooden door creaking with every gust. Blair had her eyes squeezed shut, the corners of her mouth curled up into a hint of a smile.

He kissed her eyelids, grinning when she blinked a few times to bring him into focus. Held his gaze when he was worried she'd look away. That he should have said the words, first, regardless. Though, if it meant he'd have to tell her a thousand more times before she considered them genuine, he didn't care. A sword he'd gladly fall on.

He nuzzled her nose, drinking the pure scent of her. Sweet with a hint of ocean that had nothing to do with her dip in the sea. "Christ, you're stunning."

She snorted but didn't try to lower her feet, content to leave them locked around the small of his back as he used his weight to keep her body glued to the wall. "Charmer."

"I think the word you're looking for is wanker. Because I should have told you I love you, first, before ravaging you like a horny teenager. But hearing you say the words…" He sighed. "It's like I said before. You turn me primeval."

Had she inhaled? Stiffened beneath him because he swore her muscles were tense. The opposite of what they'd been a minute ago.

Walker forced his fingers off her skin. Took him a dozen tries, but he finally managed it. Placed her gently on her feet. All the while, wanting her, again. Not later. Not when it was practical or safe. Now. Just like this. The storm raging around them. Their clothes barely pushed aside enough to get the job done.

This was real.

Blair grabbed the towel when he picked it off the floor, wrapping it around her shoulders. God, he hoped she hadn't gotten any splinters from the wall. "You, what?"

He tsked. "Seriously? You thought there was even a remote possibility I wasn't desperately in love with you? True, I've never been in love before. Never uttered the words and meant them like this. Something other than brotherly type love. But you had to know I was a goner from the moment we met."

"But…" She punched him in the shoulder. Hard. "Then, why did you get all pissy about me telling you in the letter? Are you completely mad?"

"Only about you. And I was pissy because I wanted our first declaration of undying love to be romantic. Maybe back at that lake. With the sun painting your skin in all those deep shades, again. When you'd have no other choice but to believe I was sincere. Which I didn't think you'd be if I'd gotten down on one knee and blurted it out after the first time I'd finally had the balls to ask you on a date. And that's using the definition of date rather loosely."

He ran his thumb along her cheek. "I didn't deserve your leap of faith the other night, and I definitely didn't deserve your proclamation in the note."

Her eyes softened, her lips lifting into a dreamy smile. "You daft sod. You deserved more. And I do… Love you, I mean."

"Damn straight, you do. Which means, we need to talk. About everything. Then, we need to make a plan, because I'm getting the next fifty years with you even if I have to bring down an entire cartel to do it."