Chapter Sixty-Eight

The smell of coffee woke Natalie up. She groaned. She would have happily slept for another eight thousand hours.

“What time is it?” she asked into her pillow.

“Almost ten.”

Natalie rolled over, squinting at the light coming through her curtains. “Why are you waking me up?”

Grace folded her arms across her chest. “You have shit to do and if you sleep any longer the jet lag is never going to get any better.” She swatted Natalie’s foot through the covers.

Natalie groaned again. If she got out of bed then she had to deal with everything. If she went back to sleep she could pretend she hadn’t fucked everything up with Darcy. She could pretend she hadn’t left the Olympics in a fit of embarrassment and anger.

Grace hadn’t moved. “I can see you freaking out. Get your ass out of bed and into the shower. There’s no food in your apartment so I’m going to get bagels. I expect you to be clean, dressed, and way less grumpy when I get back.”

Natalie pulled the covers over her head but being awake meant all her problems came flooding back in. Dammit.

She showered and dressed in her comfiest sweats.

Grace walked through the front door as Natalie drank her second cup of coffee. Grace handed her the bag of bagels. “You look like a dirtbag college student, but at least you showered.”

Natalie laughed. “You always know what to say to cheer me up.”

“Have you figured out your plan yet?”

Natalie covered her everything bagel with cream cheese, avoiding Grace’s eyes. “I’ve been up for like thirty minutes.” She sighed. “Did it ever occur to you that she might not want anything to do with me after the way I acted?”

“Of course it did. You were a complete dipshit.”

Natalie winced. “Hey!”

“Let me finish. But I saw the way she talked about you during the game. She wasn’t defending your honor as a player out of some sense of fairness. She did it because she loves you.” Natalie opened her mouth, but Grace held up her hand. “She might think you’re a colossal jackass, but she still loves you.”

Natalie stared into her coffee. She wanted Grace to be right so badly. She wanted Darcy to miss her. She wanted to know she wasn’t the only one suffering. But she kept circling back to the way she left things. Flipping out over Darcy getting the job, acting like a brat, and then leaving without even saying goodbye. If the roles were reversed, would she forgive Darcy?

“Fuuuuuck.”

“Yup, even I’m impressed by how badly you fucked this up.”

Natalie took another bagel and her coffee into the living room and slumped on the couch. “Okay, so what am I supposed to do?”

Grace shrugged. “Well, first you should apologize to your best friend who warned you this would happen and who you told you had it under control and she was overreacting.” She grinned.

Natalie gave a sheepish smile. “I did not have it under control. Not even close.”

Grace gave her a smug look. “And I should never again doubt the wisdom of Grace.”

Natalie glowered. “No. I’m not saying that.”

“Fine.” Grace dropped onto the couch next to Natalie and turned the TV on. “Did you watch all of your segments?”

“Ew, no. Who watches themself on TV? I’m not a narcissist.”

Natalie rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should. It might remind you how good you and Darcy were together.” She held up her hand. “I know I said you two shouldn’t be together. I was wrong.”

Natalie made a smug face.

“She’s the only person I have ever seen make you so happy.”

Natalie hugged a pillow as if it could protect her from the truth. “Even if that’s true, it’s not like she’s going to want to see me after I was a complete jerk.”

Grace fiddled with the remote. “You need a grand gesture.”

“No.”

Grace smacked the pillow. “Don’t say no to me. The only way you are going to win her back is by doing something big.”

Natalie scowled. “Even if I didn’t think grand gestures were bullshit—which I do—she’s halfway across the world.”

“She isn’t going to be in another country forever. Find out when she gets back and meet her at her apartment. Meet her at the airport! Oh, that’s good! Think of all the airport scenes in movies. Damn, I’m good.” Grace gave Natalie a very satisfied smile.

Natalie shook her head. “That sounds creepy as hell.”

“Okay, then what’s your idea of how you’re going to win her back?”

Natalie pulled the pillow over her face. “A series of ‘I’ve made a very serious mistake’ memes?”

“She’s the ice hockey princess of Canada and you want to try to woo her with a couple of memes and what else? A case of Natty Ice? Jesus, Carpenter. When did you turn into a frat boy?”

“I was joking,” Natalie said from under the pillow.

Grace ripped the pillow away. “No. This is your whole problem. You’re fucking miserable and instead of doing something about it you make jokes, hide behind a pillow, and pretend like it’s no big deal. It’s a fucking big deal. You love this woman and you’re acting like that hardly matters, like finding love happens every day.”

“That’s not—”

“Oh, I’m not done. You have been fucking up your love life since you were nineteen and I figured it was because you were so broken by losing Darcy that you didn’t want to or couldn’t try with anyone else. But now you have a second, precious chance with her and you’ve fucked that up, too! If you’re going to get a third chance, a final fucking chance, it’s going to take a whole lot more than some half-ass thing.

“You can’t half-ass your love life. I know you think that not giving a shit is how you keep from being hurt. But it’s not. That’s how you keep yourself from being happy. It’s how you maintain this pathetic little shell around your heart. That shell isn’t protecting you; it’s ruining your chance at love.”

Grace stood up. “You have a chance at the real thing and you’re making memes? Don’t be a coward, Nat. Put yourself out there. Take a fucking big risk.”

Grace stomped to the door.

“Where are you going?” asked Natalie, stunned.

“For a walk. If I look at you right now, I’m going to keep yelling. Figure your shit out while I’m gone.”

The slamming of the door shook the walls. Natalie sat forward, her elbows on her thighs, and wished she could go back to bed and start the day over. Maybe then, Grace wouldn’t have yelled at her. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Grace was right. Darcy deserved more than some lukewarm gesture. Even if she’d called Darcy the ice princess in the past as a joke, there was a kernel of truth there. She didn’t deserve better because her dad was famous and everyone in Canada worshipped her.

She deserved better because she was the best person on the planet. Natalie had to make her understand that out of almost eight billion people, Darcy was the best one. She was funny and smart, sweet and sexy, and she made Natalie feel so safe and loved.

“Fuck.”

She dialed the number for the Wake Up, USA offices. A familiar voice picked up. “Jamal, I need a favor.”