Chapter Thirty-Two

College

Hinch’s room was a disaster even without twenty hockey players perching on beds, the desk, and the one rolling chair.

“Beer’s in the tub,” Hinch called to Natalie before she got three feet into the room.

Natalie stopped at the bathroom and found a tub full of shitty beer and ice. Gross. But she could nurse a single beer, it might even help her chill the fuck out before... She caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Was it obvious to everyone else what she was thinking about? Could they tell that her skin felt like it was on fire and the ache below her stomach was distracting her from everything that wasn’t Darcy?

Natalie hoped that the face she saw in the bathroom mirror didn’t give all of that away. As much as she was ready to stop sneaking around, she didn’t need her teammates knowing how horny she was and how she planned to spend the rest of the night with Darcy.

Natalie waded through the players sitting on the floor watching an NHL game. She took a single disgusting sip of beer on her way to the only place she could see to sit. She perched her ass on the windowsill and waited.

It didn’t take long for Darcy to walk in looking like the star she was. She walked through the room offering high fives, grabbing a beer from the tub, and flopping onto the bed closest to Natalie. Her long legs dangled off the end of the bed, keeping her shoes off the comforter. She took a long sip of beer and licked her lips.

Fuck.

Natalie took a sip of beer and forced her eyes to the TV. She watched the game without taking in anything that was happening on-screen. She made it thirty seconds, maybe a minute before her eyes found their way back to Darcy’s face.

Darcy was talking to Sammy, her roommate for the trip. Sammy said something that made Darcy laugh and she tipped her head back, exposing her neck and the contours of her jaw. Why the fuck did she have to be so hot? This season—everything—would have been so much easier if Darcy was boring or not even ugly, just not hot.

Instead, Darcy was blessed with not only the best hockey genetics ever but also brilliant green eyes and the kind of cheekbones that would make a model weep. And her mouth. Natalie took another sip of her disgusting beer just to have something to do other than stare at Darcy and remember every time she’d felt those perfect lips against her skin. Natalie scowled.

Get a grip.

Natalie was jealous of the beer can because Darcy’s lips were touching it and not her.

Natalie swallowed the last quarter of her beer way too fast and waded through her teammates toward the bathroom. She knew someone was already in there but it was a good excuse to leave.

“I’ll be back,” she said to no one in particular. “Gotta pee.”

She caught Darcy’s eye before yanking the door open and disappearing into the hall. Natalie hoped Darcy understood because she was about ten seconds from losing her goddamned mind.

Natalie reached the door to her room and traced the numbers. 1224. How long could she stand there and not look like a complete creep? She didn’t have to find out because Darcy’s voice carried down the call. Not her words, but the sound found Natalie.

Darcy paused in the doorway and laughed at someone inside. She shut the door and turned down the hall, her face morphing as soon as she caught sight of Natalie.

Natalie slid her key into the reader and pushed into her room, letting the door hang open behind her. The time it took the door to close could have been a minute or a year. She had no idea.

She turned at the sound of the door clicking shut, hoping Darcy would be standing there. When she smiled, her back against the door, her hands tucked deep in the pockets of her jeans, Nat’s stomach did an Olympic-caliber dive straight for the floor.

“Hi,” Natalie said. Wow, really smooth, Carpenter.

“Did you need to go?” She nodded to the open bathroom door.

Natalie shook my head. “I needed an excuse to get out of there.” She stepped forward, halving the distance between them. “I hoped you needed one, too.”

Darcy shrugged. “I thought you might be trying to get away from me.”

Her shy smile destroyed Natalie. “I’ve spent the entire season trying to keep a little distance between us when we were with our teammates. But I never, ever , wanted to get away from you.” Natalie’s eyes never left hers. “I came up with a dozen reasons to stay away, but none of them apply anymore.”

Darcy shoved off the door, bringing her closer to Nat. Her shampoo, something fruity, covered the rest of the distance. “You had reasons?”

Natalie stared at the way Darcy’s collarbones peeked out of the V-neck she was wearing under her flannel. “Some were my reasons, some yours. You’re my captain. You’re my teammate. We had a championship to win. Team chemistry is important.”

She waited while Natalie ticked off all the reasons. Her mouth curved into a crooked smile. “We won the championship. We’ll always be teammates but I don’t think we have to worry about team chemistry anymore.” She stepped forward, her toes nearly touching Natalie’s. The nearly was killing Natalie. That inch of carpet between them. Darcy was so precise, so careful.

“Why do you think I wanted you to follow me?” Natalie asked, running her tongue over her lower lip.

“I think some team chemistry still matters,” Darcy said, her voice low.

Natalie’s eyes flicked to Darcy’s lips. It was heaven to be able to look at her without worrying that someone might notice.

Darcy shook her head. “You really are the cockiest freshman I have ever met.”

“And you love it,” Nat shot back. And I love you.

“You are impossible to resist.” She leaned forward, her hands still in her pockets, like she wasn’t sure if she had permission to touch Natalie and didn’t want to scare her off. After all these months of stolen moments, she was still nervous around Natalie.

Natalie reached for her, her hand wrapping around Darcy’s forearms, Natalie’s fingers flexing against her muscles. A single tiny tug was all it took to connect their mouths. Months of staying away from each other on road trips, over. A season of avoiding sitting too close in team meetings so no one would notice the way Natalie’s heart sped up when their eyes met, over. Sitting a few seats away from Darcy because the one time Natalie sat next to her their thighs touched and Natalie couldn’t breathe for the entire team meal, over. They’d won the championship, and this freedom to be together was the prize Natalie wanted most of all.

Darcy smiled against Natalie’s lips and Natalie couldn’t help but smile, too. They broke apart for a second before Natalie stepped forward, pinning Darcy to the wall. Natalie stood on her tiptoes and gripped Darcy’s hips for balance.

Darcy tasted like that shitty beer , and she probably did too, but after scrupulously avoiding each other in hotel rooms like this one, Natalie didn’t care. All the electricity they built up over months shorted Natalie’s brain because nothing registered but the feeling of their hips pressed together and Darcy’s hands cupping her cheeks.

Natalie pulled back, her chest heaving. “Fuck,” she breathed.

“What’s the matter?” Darcy reached for Natalie but stopped short of grabbing her arm.

Natalie shook her head. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I just need a second, Cap.”

She shoved her hands in her pockets, her shoulders curling forward. “No problem. I didn’t mean to do anything or not do anything or...”

Natalie looked up. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Nat reached for Darcy, her hand grabbing a fistful of her shirt. “I’ve been wanting to do this since that first road trip when I kissed you. It’s just a lot.”

Darcy raised her eyebrows. “Only since then? We met in August.”

Natalie laughed and whatever tension there was in her head evaporated. “And you say I’m the cocky one.” Natalie leaned forward to let her lips brush against Darcy’s. Slower, gentler, less urgently this time. But that didn’t last because the instant they touched, Natalie’s brain broke all over again and the only thought she had was more . She wanted more of Darcy. Her hand squeezed Darcy’s shirt, balling it into her fist so she could tug her closer. It took every ounce of restraint not to run her hands over Darcy’s abs. She didn’t want to rush this. She wanted to take her time, savor every single square inch of Darcy’s body. Before she told Darcy she loved her, she wanted to show her, starting with running her tongue over Darcy’s abs.

Darcy’s hands found the hem of Natalie’s shirt. “Can I?”

Natalie nodded and she had to stifle a moan when Darcy’s hands splayed across her lower back. Darcy’s hands were hot and Natalie felt where the calluses on Darcy’s fingers traced the ridges of her back muscles.

Natalie stopped holding back. Instead, she shoved Darcy’s shirt up and let her mouth find Darcy’s stomach. It tightened under her fingers, the ridges of her muscles enough to make Natalie’s knees weak. “Fuck, Darce.”

Natalie’s hands pushed Darcy’s shirt higher and raked her fingers over Darcy’s hot skin. She was like a furnace. Natalie paused, waiting for Darcy’s permission before she let her hands find her chest.

Natalie was falling apart so fast. Her underwear was a mess, her brain hardly worked at this point except to urge her on. She needed more of Darcy and Darcy seemed happy to provide whatever Natalie wanted.

Darcy grabbed Natalie’s shoulders gently. “Wait. Wait.”

Nat dropped her hands to her sides. “I’m sorry. Did I—”

“No. You’re good. I want to check with you. How much did you have to drink?”

Natalie smiled, delighted by Darcy’s sweetness. “I had one nasty-ass beer while I waited for you to show up. I’m not drunk. I know what I’m doing.” Natalie kissed her cheek, her lips feather-light on Darcy’s skin. “You?”

She closed her eyes and let out the softest hum. “Same. I’m good. But this is too important to screw up, you know?”

“I know, Cap. I know.” A wave of panic hit Natalie. “Do you want to go back? If you don’t want to... We can go back.” Natalie was not a person who prayed. Religion was stupid, as far as she was concerned, and asking someone who doesn’t exist for things, like god is a vending machine, seemed like one of the most pointless things Natalie could imagine. But in that moment, she prayed that Darcy would say no, I want to stay with you.

Darcy’s smile spread crookedly up one side. “Nat,” she breathed. “I’ve wanted to be here, with you, for months. The only thing I care about is making sure you want this, too.”

Natalie crashed their mouths together. Who knew how long they had before one of their teammates came looking for them or—god forbid—their coaches came knocking for curfew. Natalie had waited far too long to take it slow now. She pulled Darcy’s flannel off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor before tugging at the hem of her V-neck.

Darcy broke the kiss to pull her shirt over her head, leaving Natalie staring at her boobs.

“Jesus, Darcy.” Natalie reached to undo Darcy’s bra but, in her excitement, couldn’t get the fucking thing unhooked. “Goddammit. Help me get this stupid thing off!” Natalie said, her voice husky. Natalie kissed down Darcy’s collarbones to the tops of her breasts peeking out of her bra.

Darcy reached behind her and dropped the bra to the floor. “And to think you’re a girl who prides herself on her hands,” she said with a wicked smirk.

Natalie grinned up at her before moving her mouth over Darcy’s nipple. Natalie paused, hovering over it for long enough that Darcy huffed impatiently. Natalie hummed and flicked her tongue over it, savoring the taste and the way Darcy’s breath caught in her throat.

Darcy might have been three years older and the captain of their team but Natalie didn’t defer to her then. Natalie had a plan to get her into her bed as fast as possible. Darcy’s shoulders fell back against the wall. She felt like a rock star knowing she had this kind of effect on Darcy.

All this time, while they were keeping their relationship a secret, Natalie worried that Darcy thought of her as an annoying freshman with a crush, not someone worth telling the world about, but the way she reacted every time Natalie flicked her tongue across her nipple was unmistakable.

Darcy LaCroix wanted her.

Natalie pulled away, her eyes trained on Darcy’s kiss-swollen lips. “Hey, before this goes any further, and I really hope it will, I wanted to tell you something.” Natalie took a deep breath. She could do this. She could tell Darcy she loved her, she could say those words. “Darcy, I—”

Before Natalie could finish, someone banged on the door. “LaCroix! You in there?”

Natalie looked at Darcy, her heart racing. “Do you want to open it?” They were going to tell people. Now was as good a time as any.

Darcy stepped into the bathroom. “Fix your shirt, then open the door. We can say we both had to pee.” Darcy closed the bathroom door.

Natalie’s heart sank. Okay, maybe getting caught half-dressed wasn’t the way she pictured telling people, either. Disappointed, Natalie pulled the door open, revealing Sammy standing in the hallway looking like she had enjoyed several of Hinch’s tub beers.

“This your room, Carpenter?” Sammy walked in and leaned against the wall like she needed it to stay upright.

Natalie scanned the floor and saw Darcy’s flannel. Shit. Natalie stepped in front of it, hoping Sammy was drunk enough not to register what she was looking at.

Darcy opened the bathroom door and stepped out. “Sammy, what the fuck are you doing here? If you had to pee you have your own room.”

Natalie ducked into the bathroom and closed the door. She stood in front of the sink, her hands shaking. When she looked in the mirror she was sure Sammy knew that she and Darcy hadn’t snuck away to go to the bathroom. Natalie’s cheeks were flushed, her shirt bunched on one side.

Through the door, she heard Sammy’s loud voice.

“LaCroix, is that your bra on the floor?”

Oh fuck.

“What?” The shake in Darcy’s voice was clear even through the door.

“Are you hooking up with the freshie? Oh my god! You fucking cougar!”

Natalie stood on the other side of the door, willing Darcy to say the right thing.

Sammy laughed. “Oh, this is hilarious. After all the shit you gave me for dating Matty, and it turns out you’re banging a freshman, too?” Sammy cackled. “Hinch is going to have a fucking field day with this.”

Natalie’s blood turned to ice. Come on, Darcy. Tell her the truth. Tell her what I mean to you. Please.

“Pfff. Come on, Sammy. I would never. You know me better than that.” Darcy laughed.

She fucking laughed. And it hit Natalie like a dagger in her heart.

“Dude, she’s in love with you, though.”

Natalie couldn’t breathe.

Darcy laughed again; this time it came out sounding tight. “I can’t help it that I’m irresistible. But, come on, Sammy, I would never fall for her.”

Natalie slid to the floor, her back against the door, and listened as Darcy swore to Sammy that she would never hook up with Natalie.

I’m such a fool.

The room door opened and closed but Natalie didn’t budge. It had been a roller coaster of the highest highs Natalie had ever felt but now she was stuck at the bottom and couldn’t imagine she would ever get up. She clenched her jaw but it was no use. The tears came and she didn’t try to fight them.

A year of following the rules, pretending there wasn’t anything between them, only to have Darcy treat her like a joke. Natalie had never been so humiliated or heartbroken. And she never wanted to see Darcy fucking LaCroix ever again.