Chapter 22

Hazel trudged after Sterling, not caring where they were going.

The morning was bright, the sunshine warm, and the snow was mostly melted. The grass and shrubs were turning green, and she'd even spotted a wildflower or two.

Ordinarily, she would have been delighted by the blossoming spring, but she hadn't wanted to go anywhere or do anything. The melancholy had been so heavy that she hadn't been able to shake it all week.

Of course, that day Sterling had come into her bedroom, she'd finally gotten out of bed and started helping in the livestock barn. But her heart hadn't been in her work. All she longed for and all she thought about was Maverick—even though she tried not to.

Earlier this morning Sterling had insisted she ride with him and some of the other ranch hands to look for a few strays. She hadn't wanted to go, but he'd pestered her until she'd agreed to it.

She wasn't sure what had happened over the past week since she'd ridden Maverick's horse so bravely the day he'd been in his accident, but somehow she'd lost all her courage, and she hadn't been able to mount.

Sterling had been understanding and had asked her to go with him anyway, assuring her that they'd stick to the foothills closer to the ranch.

The hike through the rugged wilderness had only reminded her all the more of Maverick and the day they'd been looking for Candy.

Now, as she and Sterling climbed up a trail, she paused, the sadness slowing her steps. "I think I'm ready to turn back, Sterling."

Leading his mount ahead of her, he halted.

She tried to offer him a smile but knew it was weak. "I'm sorry I haven't been much help to you this morning."

He shrugged. "Thought being out here might cheer you up."

"Thank you for trying." But nothing would cheer her. Not when her life spread out so bleakly without Maverick in it. She hadn't realized until she'd been away from him how much she needed him—his grins, his charm, his teasing, his compliments. She missed their conversations, listening to his ideas and him asking for her input.

He was the nourishment for her soul, and without him, she was slowly shriveling up inside, the life ebbing from her.

Was this what it was like for Mrs. Oakley without her husband? Without his love and adoration, maybe Mrs. Oakley was shriveling up inside too.

Whatever the case, Hazel couldn't deny her need for Maverick.

Had she been too rash in stopping her work for the Oakleys? When she'd been going every day, at least she'd been able to see Maverick. That had been better than this, where he was completely cut out of her life and she had no contact with him at all.

But could she be satisfied with just seeing him and working with him and being friends without their relationship moving into anything more? She hadn't thought so the day that he'd left the Noble Ranch. She'd wanted everything with him or nothing.

But what if she had to be okay with their relationship where it was instead of pushing him for more than he was ready to give? Could she do that?

Yes, she could. She was growing desperate enough that maybe she'd keep walking right over to High C Ranch and tell Maverick that she wanted her job back. Yes, she loved her job and missed it too. But she missed him more. He meant more to her than the mares and foals and anything else.

"Will you do me a favor before we head back?" Sterling swept his gaze over the hilly terrain, his keen eyes missing nothing as he searched for the strays.

"Course."

"If you check the rest of the way up this trail, I'll check down in that ravine." He cocked his head to the nearby shrubs and the rocky slant of a slope.

She hesitated. "You'll be careful?" After Maverick's fall, she'd taken extra caution today to stay clear of any dangerous areas.

Sterling was already shifting his mount around. "I'll be fine. You be careful too."

As he passed by, she halted him with a touch to his arm. "I'm sorry for not getting back on the horse."

His eyes gentled. "I understand, Hazel. Some hurts never really heal."

Was that true of her? Would she never find healing from her fears? She'd thought she was heading in the right direction, but maybe she was too far off course to have any hope.

"I'll never heal from what happened to me either." Sterling's tone turned sad. "Won't ever love another woman as long as I live."

Hazel wanted to object, but before she could figure out what to say, he was already moving past her down the trail.

She watched his strong, proud back for a few more seconds, a strange sadness settling inside her. Then, with a sigh, she plodded up the path.

As she rounded the last bend, she realized where she was. Lover's Overlook. The view at the top was magnificent. But more than that, she'd always known it was Maverick's proposal spot the same way the miner's cabin in Devil's Glen had been Sterling's.

She'd always thought the two were so romantic for planning out their proposals and deciding to help each other. Of course, Maverick had already helped Sterling fulfill his dream proposal that winter day back in January.

Hazel hadn't thought about the proposal spots since then, especially since Sterling's romantic plans had amounted to only hurt and heartache.

As Hazel crested the last section of the hill, she stopped short at the sight of Maverick standing in the long grass near the edge, arms crossed, peering over the valley that spread out for miles.

He wore his Stetson over his dark hair, and yet strands blew at the back of his neck. He radiated strength and purpose as he stood there, so ruggedly handsome that her breath snagged in her chest.

She'd missed seeing him—every part of him from the confident way he held himself down to his dusty trousers and scuffed boots.

His horse was grazing near the trailhead. At her presence, it lifted its head and nickered a hello.

Maverick pivoted, his blue eyes landing upon her and taking her in just as hungrily as he had that last morning together.

"Hi, angel." His soft greeting was like a caress across her body.

She almost closed her eyes at the sound of it and of his voice, but she knew she couldn't lose control of her emotions.

He didn't move except to tighten his grip on his cane.

She wanted to run to him, throw herself in his arms, and admit she was lost without him. But she forced her feet to remain where they were. "How are you doing? Are you still in a lot of pain?"

"Yep. Lots."

"I'm sorry—"

"Here." He patted his chest. "My heart hurts with missing you."

Her pulse leapt. What was he doing here on Lover's Overlook? And why didn't he look surprised to see her here? Had he and Sterling planned this encounter?

A shiver of anticipation shimmied up her backbone, making her tremble. She clutched her hands behind her back to hide the shaking.

His expression remained grave. "I was a blasted fool to leave you the way I did last week."

"It's okay—"

"It ain't okay. I shouldn't have gone. It's just that I was having a hard time resisting you."

Oh my. If she'd still been mad at him, she wouldn't have been able to stay that way, not at his admission. "Sterling told me you visited him about us but that he told you to stay away from me."

Maverick's eyes were shadowed beneath the brim of his hat, and his face was lined with pain and weariness. "I shouldn't have listened to him. You're more important to me than anyone, even my friendship with Sterling. I was on my way over to tell you that this morning when Sterling came over and told me he was sorry for interfering in our relationship."

The pattering inside her chest tapped louder. Was Maverick apologizing and working his way toward proposing marriage? Or was she only having a wild dream?

She took a breath and tried to keep her hope from rising too high. "Sterling is a difficult man to defy. And I'm sure you didn't want to harm your friendship with him any more than it already had been."

"Instead, I harmed our friendship."

"I forgive you, Maverick."

"Don't deserve it. But thank you."

"Of course."

He peered to the mountains towering behind her, the muscles in his jaw flexing.

Was this the moment? Was he trying to formulate the words to ask her to marry him?

She clutched her hands more tightly behind her back. She didn't want to go another day without being with Maverick. In fact, she didn't want to return to her family's ranch because it wasn't really home anymore. Home was with him, wherever he was. She'd learned that lesson well enough this past week without him.

"I'm really sorry, Hazel. Hope we can start over and that you'll give me a chance to do things right this time."

"Okay." But start over? What did that mean?

"Then you'll come back to work?" His tone held a hopeful note. "And we can go on being friends like before?"

She didn't want things to go back to the way they were before. She wanted more, so much more.

But maybe he wanted to take things slowly.

"So will you?" he asked.

Her breath caught. "Will I what?"

"Come back to work and keep being my friend?"

She could almost physically feel the letdown in her body. He wasn't proposing to her after all. He was simply repairing their relationship and asking to be friends again. If this was all he could offer, she'd have to be satisfied. The alternative of going on without him like she had the past week was unbearable. "Okay."

"You sure?"

She nodded even though the disappointment weighed heavily.

Maverick cocked his head toward the box in the grass with a blanket on top, and he gave her a ghost of a smile. "This is my proposal spot."

"I know."

"You do?" His brows lifted.

She could feel her face flush. "I heard you and Sterling talk about it when we were younger. You two were never all that secretive."

He dug one of his hands into his pocket. "Sterling thought he was making a grand gesture today by bringing us together out here, showing that he supports us and all."

Even if she'd told Sterling not to talk to Maverick, she could admit she was glad that he'd done it. At least now they knew Sterling had made up his mind to support them—whatever that might mean. And from the pace Maverick was moving, it might mean they stayed just friends for a long time.

"What do you think?" Maverick asked, watching her face.

"I think it was sweet of Sterling to go to all the trouble."

"Even if it was pushy?"

Was it pushy or was Sterling trying to give them the push they needed?

As if sensing her inner conflict, he took a step forward but then stopped. "I promise I won't propose today and rush you the way Sterling did with Violet."

"What?" Her thoughts slowed to a crawl as she tried to make sense of his statement. Did he think he was rushing her? Was that why he wasn't proposing?

"I reckon us fellas get something in our heads that we want, and then it's mighty hard to be patient for the women we love to be ready too."

Women we love. He still loved her.

Was he holding back today because he was afraid that what happened with Sterling and Violet would happen to them?

Hazel couldn't keep from furrowing her brow. What had she done to give Maverick the impression she wasn't ready?

"Listen, angel." Maverick's expression remained earnest. "I ain't gonna make the same mistake as Sterling. I'll wait for you. All right?"

The trouble was, he wasn't Sterling. She most certainly wasn't Violet. And she didn't want to wait.

She wanted Maverick today. No, in reality, she'd wanted him for years. And she didn't want to put off being with him any longer, especially since it was clear the only reason he was waiting was because of her.

She wasn't usually dramatic or forceful or even all that vocal, but today, she had to do something to prove she was serious about them. About him.

An idea began to formulate. She wasn't sure it would work, but she had to try.