Chapter 7

PSAMATHE

The waves rushed against the sand, creating a peaceful noise that only made me long to go in and take a swim. It had been a long time since I'd had the chance, and the night seemed perfect for it.

My gaze slipped to Zale. He'd undone his bow tie and it was hanging open around the neck of his shirt, giving him a casually elegant look which suited him almost as much as his normal just come in from the beach attire.

"Do you want to go for a swim?" I blurted out.

He raised an eyebrow. "A swim?"

I nodded. "There's a nice lagoon not far from here, we could go."

"What about the party?"

I shrugged. "What about it? Aphie has it covered." And it was her party rather than mine anyway, it didn't matter much that I wasn't there.

"I don't have anything to wear to swim in."

"You can shift into a seal," I pointed out. "As can I."

"All right, but if I have to go back up to the party naked, then you're going to have to explain it to everyone."

I chuckled. "That's not going to be an issue, we can leave our clothes in one of the beach huts." I gestured to where one of them was standing not far away. "No one's going to even think to check one at this time of night." Even without waiting for his response, I started heading towards it.

Zale followed me, stepping inside the small hut. "This is fancier than I expected. Why is there a bed in here?"

"It's a sun lounger, it can be taken outside," I said. "But it's also a good way for people to take a rest from the sun."

"Ah."

"There's also a bathroom through there." I pointed to a door.

"Useful," Zale responded. He shrugged off his jacket and folded it, placing it on one of the chairs.

I started considering how I was going to get undressed myself, only to remember that I'd needed help with the zip. I cleared my throat. "Will you unzip me?" I asked, turning my back to Zale.

"Sure." He stepped closer, brushing my hair over my shoulder so it was out of the way. My eyes fluttered closed as I realised how close we were standing and how good it felt to have him there.

His fingers found the zip and he drew it down slowly. My breathing hitched at the intimacy of his touch. I hadn't thought this through. I'd only wanted for the two of us to go for a swim, I hadn't intended it to be more than that.

And yet right now, I was considering saying that we should stay right here and put the sun lounger to use in a way it wasn't intended for.

"There you go," he whispered, his voice surprisingly hoarse.

"Thank you." I shrugged off my dress and let it fall to the floor, knowing it would expose me, but feeling all the more powerful because of it.

Zale cleared his throat. "Maybe I should meet you by the water."

I nodded. "Good idea."

He headed into the bathroom and closed the door, leaving me alone. I stripped off my underwear and folded everything up neatly, placing my clothing next to his on the chair.

"I'm leaving," I called as I slipped out of the door.

The water called to me, stronger than I'd felt it in a while and I made my way down to it. The cool sea tickled my toes as I entered, sending a tingle of magic through my whole body. I didn't stop walking until I was waist-deep and waited until I heard the swish of water that indicated Zale had joined me.

"You said there was a lagoon," he said from behind me, his tone sending a shiver down my spine.

I nodded, only realising after I did that he probably couldn't see me. "Yes. Follow me."

I didn't wait for him to respond and gave into the power of the magic within me, changing form instantly until I was in that of a monk seal. I dove down into the water, enjoying the way it rushed past my streamlined body. It had been too long since I'd taken this form, or any other, and I relished the freedom it gave me.

A larger seal appeared beside me with the tell-tale white patch on his belly that told me he was male. Not that I needed any other indication that it was Zale, it was rare for the other seals to appear on this part of the beach at this time of night.

I set off through the water, only breaching the surface to take a breath and led him further offshore until we reached the peaceful lagoon I knew was there. The water warmed as we passed into it, and became much stiller than it had been in the sea outside. I twisted my body around a few times until I reached a ledge and shifted back into my human form, hoping he'd do the same. There was no point in us being somewhere like this if we couldn't actually talk to one another.

Zale broke the surface, changing back into his human form as he did. His dark hair stuck to his face, making him look surprisingly dorky.

I laughed despite myself and reached out to brush it out of his face.

The gesture brought us surprisingly close together and my heart raced in response. It wouldn't take much for me to kiss him right now. If anything, it would be easy.

And there was a part of me that wanted that very much.

I was about to pull myself away when Zale reached out and touched my waist, making me gasp in response.

"Kiss me." The words slipped out unbidden. "Please."

He searched my face, probably wanting to be certain that I wanted this. Whatever he saw there, he seemed to decide I did and he pushed some of my wet hair out of my face almost tenderly as he leaned in.

The moment his lips brushed against mine, a tempest erupted within me that I could have sworn was long since gone.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, relishing the feeling of my body against his as he deepened the kiss. My whole body tingled and it was all I could do to keep my thoughts focused and not go further than was sensible when we were in the middle of the sea.

He pulled back, and I felt flushed despite the cool air above the water of the lagoon.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," he murmured.

"Why didn't you?" I asked.

"I know your story. I didn't want to push you into anything you didn't want to do."

I reached up and touched his face. "That's sweet."

"And I didn't want to risk you feeling the same as you did then."

"Zale..." I took a deep breath and gestured for us to sit on the ledge under the surface of the lagoon. I looked down into the water and thought about the best way to explain what happened to him. I didn't need to ask to know what he was referring to, he'd made it very clear that he knew of my history, at least the parts that made it into the legends.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to," he said.

"I know that," I responded. "And trust me, if I didn't want to be here talking to you, then I wouldn't be. I'm stronger than I used to be."

"You were strong then too," he assured me.

I nodded and took a shaky breath. "What Aeacus did to me was horrible, and it left me in a bad place. But it was also a long time ago. And it gave me something wonderful too."

"Your son?"

I nodded. "I felt broken for a long time after what Aeacus did, but I found my joy again in Phocus." A bittersweet joy filled me at the memory of my son's smile, still etched there perfectly after thousands of years ago. "I've had time to come to terms with all of it, and help. Even the gods go to therapy sometimes."

He snorted. "Sorry, not an appropriate response."

"It's fine," I assured him, looking out over the sea. "I miss Phocus every day, just like I miss all my children. And my husband." I bit my lip, trying to reconcile what I'd just been doing with how I felt about Proteus.

"I'm sorry," Zale said softly. "I can't imagine what that must be like."

"It's as if someone stole a part of my heart that I can never get back. I think I've always felt like I'd never be able to feel anything for anyone because it was missing. Or maybe that I shouldn't. I loved Proteus, he was a kind man and a good king. The day he died, it felt like a part of me did too. But I was already immortal by that point, and I should have known better than to fall for a mortal. And yet..." I trailed off, realising what I was about to say wasn't something I'd even accepted myself.

After that kiss, I wasn't convinced there was any denying it.

"And yet?" he prompted.

"Here I am." I gestured to myself. "It's as if I can't help myself."

"Why didn't you make Proteus immortal?" he asked.

"I couldn't. Only gods have that power and I wasn't a goddess yet. I suppose I could have asked someone else to, but I was living away from most of the Greek pantheon and most of the Egyptian gods were still sulking about the loss of their empire."

"I can't imagine gods sulking."

"Then you've clearly never seen Poseidon when he realises someone has a bigger boat than he does," I quipped.

"That sounds like such a euphemism."

I snorted. "So it does. Either works, to be honest. Though the boats cause bigger tantrums."

"Remind me to stay away from Posiedon," he murmured.

"Why? Do you have a big boat?"

He chuckled. "Maybe I should invite you to find out?"

I groaned. "I walked into that one."

"A little bit." He leaned back against the rocks and looked up at the stars shimmering above us. "I'm sorry you lost your husband."

"Me too." I swished my hands through the water. "People keep telling me that it's okay to move on, and I guess I'm starting to feel like they might be right."

"You're the only person who can decide that."

"I'm just scared," I admitted softly. "What if I let myself love someone and I lose them again?"

"What if you don't?" he asked.

"It's inevitable if the other person isn't a god." Maybe I shouldn't even be having this conversation with someone who was mortal. Especially after I'd just kissed them.

"Except that's not true. You said you weren't able to make Proteus immortal because you weren't a god yet?"

"Yes. Though I don't think he'd have wanted to be immortal either," I responded.

"I suppose there's no getting around that. But you are a goddess now, you have the option to turn any partner immortal if you both want it. You don't have to go through the same again."

I nodded. "Except if they didn't want it."

"Except then. Do you regret loving Proteus?" he asked.

"Of course not."

"Then there's every chance you won't regret loving the next person, even if they're not forever."

I looked up and met his gaze, seeing the truth behind his eyes. He clearly believed what he was saying, and maybe that meant I could follow what I was feeling inside. "Would you ever do it?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"Love someone you knew you might have to leave behind?"

"That's always what love is to a mortal," he pointed out. "So yes, I could love someone who I knew I could end up leaving behind."

"And would you ever choose to become immortal?"

"I honestly don't know," he responded. "I guess it would depend on the situation and who was asking me."

"I see." But where did that leave me? After our kiss, it would be difficult to go back to pretending that I didn't want something between us, but could I put myself through the emotions only to end up heartbroken at the end?

Though perhaps that was always the risk I was going to end up taking.

And Zale was right. I'd never once regretted falling in love with Proteus, he'd been a wonderful husband, and I treasured many of the memories we shared.

Maybe it was time for me to make new ones to treasure with someone else.

My gaze slipped to Zale.

And maybe I'd found the person I wanted to do that with.