47. Sawyer

CHAPTER 47

SAWYER

"Hey Dove?"

"Hmm?" Even her little hum of a response sounds sweet.

Her body is pressed against me, with one of her legs draped lazily over mine while she traces her fingertips up and down my chest.

"Why did you wait?" Her fingers stop and her head pops up so she can look at me.

"To have sex?"

"Yeah. I just mean… I know you said you and that Josh guy didn't date but…was there ever anyone else?" She lets out a sigh that makes me wish I could take that last bit back. I don't think I want to know if there was someone else she wanted that with. She's mine now. That's all that matters.

"Yeah. There was someone else. He was the only guy I ever really thought of that way and when it didn't work with him the way I had hoped it would, I just kind of… I don't know. Lost the desire?" She shrugs. "So, I dated. But when I would think of sleeping with anyone but him it never felt right." It suddenly feels like there's a boulder on my chest, and I feel like a fucking idiot for even asking the damn question in the first place.

"Who was the guy?"

"Sawyer?" I can't quite pinpoint the tone of her voice, but I can tell she's wondering why I'm asking. She sits up straighter in the bed, letting the sheet fall to showcase her perfect body.

Smooth skin.

Full breasts.

Pussy that only I've ever had.

So why do I keep torturing myself over who was in her past?

Because that Josh guy showing up really took you by surprise and you need to learn to let things go.

"It was you." Her words confuse me, before I can fully process them.

"Me?"

"You honestly didn't know?" I shake my head.

Should I have? I guess I could have assumed as much after knowing how we both felt back then, but a teenage crush is different than waiting your whole life to have sex with someone.

"Sawyer, I didn't just have a crush on you when we were younger. I had fallen in love with you. You had more of my heart than I ever realized I had given you. I daydreamed about what it would be like to be yours almost every day—to the point I felt a little creepy if I'm honest." We both let out soft laughs, then she continues. "I wanted you to want me back so badly, and when you left, I never thought of anyone the same way I'd thought of you."

"And now?" She frowns at me, sliding onto my lap.

"What do you mean and now ?"

"Do you still only think of me?"

"Why are you asking me this? Have I done something to make you think differently?" I begin shaking my head before she even finishes.

"No. I just can't stop thinking about that guy showing up and how he wanted to take you away to another country. I just…" Fuck, I hate this. "You say you're worried I'll walk away again, and I've assured you that it will never happen. But I'm scared too, Dove. Because what if you realize I'm not the guy you fell in love with all those years ago? That if who I am now isn't what you want anymore. What if one day you wake up and decide you don't love me, but it was the idea of me you fell so hard for. You're my future Leah, my forever. The only life truly worth living, is one with you in it. So what if—" She presses her finger to my lips, gripping both sides of my face and kissing me. Kissing me as if I'm it for her, as if she's promising not to disappear from my life, like I've begun to fear she will.

I always knew I was a jealous motherfucker, but I didn't realize how ill I truly felt at the thought of not having her anymore.

"You're not the boy I fell in love with in high school, Sawyer. You're the man who came back for me. I've fallen in love with this version of you tenfold. I'm not walking away either. I promise." I wrap my arms around her tighter, burying my face in her chest, breathing her in, hoping that I can somehow tether her soul to mine. Then she wraps a hand around my length and without warning, she slides herself onto me.

"Fuck, baby." I growl, sucking in a breath through my teeth as she bites down on her bottom lip.

"I. Am. Yours." Every word comes out in sync with her sliding up and down my cock. "Only. Always. Forever." Then, as she continues to ride me, she pulls my lips to hers, sliding her tongue across my lips and I feel it.

The tethering of our souls.

Only. Always. Forever. Mine.

Me

Hey man, you guys doing anything tonight?

Devon

Hell yeah man. Going to Fr33style. You coming out?

Me

Thought I might bring my girl out, yeah.

Devon

My man. I'll tell my boy to add you to the list with a plus one.

Me

Thanks Dev.

Devon

No sweat. Maybe you can get the other g-pa's out of the house for the night.

Me

Who the hell are the g-pa's???

Devon

You know, you, Matty, Javi… All settled down and happy and shit. Just like my grandpa.

Me

Nice.

Devon

Tell them to come. See you tonight.

Me

You and Lyss wanna go to Fr33style tonight?

Matty

What the hell kind of name for a club is that?

Me

Dude, I have no idea. But I wanted to take Leah out and Dev said that's where they'd be.

Matty

Did he put you up to asking me?

Me

Yes, but I was going to ask you anyway. If I'm gonna survive this night with Devon there, I'm gonna need you there too my guy.

Matty

Fair enough. I think Lyss wants to go so we'll meet you there. Tell Dev to add us to the list.

Me

Will do.

"Tell the grumpy bunch to leave you alone. Your muscles move every time you type and it's disturbing my sleep," Leah grumbles from her place tucked beneath my arm.

"It's not the grumpy bunch, but I'm sorry for disrupting your sleep." I kiss the top of her head and she finally looks up at me.

"Then who was it?" She hides her face to yawn then looks back up at me.

"Devon and Matty. How do you feel about going out with some of the team tonight?" She perks up a little more.

"Really? Where? How come?" I can't help but laugh at her nervous, yet excited questioning.

"Yes really. A place called freestyle, and because I want you to have one night that can at least resemble a party girl night but this way you get to do it with me ." Her eyes soften when she realizes my motivation behind taking her out tonight.

"You're giving me a party girl night?" She pokes her lip out in a fake pout.

"Only if you want to go. If you've passed that phase, then I can tell Devon to take us off the?—"

"I wanna go," she cuts me off, looking at her dress on the floor. Then her face falls. I'm not sure why because when I recall the way it was basically ripped from her body last night, my face lights the fuck up.

"What's the matter?" My fingers rub along her back, watching as her nipples harden from my touch.

"I don't have anything to wear."

"What are you talking about? I have seen you in countless outfits that made me want to do the same thing to them that I did to that dress last night."

"I'm sure I can find something." She smiles and wraps her arms around my neck, kissing me in thanks.