Prologue

PROLOGUE

SAWYER

10 YEARS AGO

"Sawyer, you're so lame. Where is your costume?" my younger sister, Taylor, asks from her bedroom as I stop in the doorway to see when they'll be ready to go.

"I'm an off-duty hockey player. You're just unobservant." I smirk at her, and she rolls her eyes.

"Whatever. You're still driving tonight, right?" She leans closer to the mirror as she continues to dab some gray shit on her eyelids. Her three best friends, Shane, Leah, and Lauren are all scattered around her room putting final touches on their costumes as well.

"Yes. When the hell are you going to be ready?" I look down to check my watch. We're supposed to go to the haunted trail, like we do every year, before going to their senior class Halloween party at the McCallum property. At the rate they're getting ready, we might not even make it to the party before midnight.

I still can't believe they're seniors already. It seems like just last week the four of them were sitting at the kitchen table working on their 6th grade class project—the thing that brought them all together in the first place.

"I'll be ready when I'm ready." She scowls at me.

"You know, you should really switch costumes with Lauren." I nod to where Lauren stands dressed as a devil. I'm sure there was some adorable strategy behind them picking their cat/mouse and angel/devil costumes, but I simply don't care enough to ask.

Being three years older than Taylor, it's no surprise we grew up doing everything together. What shocks most people is to find out that we still do. A lot of times with siblings you expect them to grow apart the older they get, but that wasn't the case with me and Tot. Since I was a senior their freshman year of high school, I felt like it was my duty to lookout for her and her friends, who in turn, have become my friends as well.

"If I were going to switch costumes with anyone, it would be Leah." Taylor smiles at me sarcastically, bringing my attention to the angel in the room.

"Nah, Dove's costume suits her best of all." I wink at Leah, noticing the way her cheeks turn red as she rolls her eyes at me. Over the years I've grown the closest to Leah. I'm not sure how it happened or when, but the two of us just clicked. She's always the one I've felt most protective over too. Taylor is what a lot of people would call unhinged , whereas Leah— she's the gentlest soul I've ever met in my life.

My Dove.

God, she looks beautiful. With her brown locks, porcelain skin, and a smile that could relight the sun if it were to ever dim—all things that match her personality perfectly.

I've viewed Leah as one of my closest friends for as long as I can remember, but I've been looking at her in ways that push the boundaries of our friendship for longer than I should admit. When she tucks a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear, turning to look in the mirror once again, I regain my focus and realize just how long I've been standing here staring at her.

"Hurry up. I don't want to be standing in line all night." I look back at Taylor and tap the top of the door frame before disappearing downstairs. I can hear Taylor groan as soon as I walk away and then their giggles echo through the hall at what I'm sure was a sisterly jab at how much of an annoyance I am to her.

When they finally come running down the stairs my eyes immediately land on Leah. It's like an involuntary response to her presence for my eyes to find her. She has on a simple long sleeve white dress, fitted on the top with a silk skirt that flows right along her thighs, knee high white socks with sneakers and her long brown hair is set in loose waves—why she always covers up her natural curls with hand crafted ones has always been a mystery to me. The wings and halo only add to her already angelic persona.

"Hello? Earth to Moose." Hearing the nickname the four of them gave me years ago brings my mind back from wandering. Taylor waves her hand in front of my face, making me aware of how fiercely I was just staring at Leah. Again .

Shit, I have to stop doing that.

"What?" I snap, glaring over at her.

"Take our picture." She presses her phone against my chest. My face drops in annoyance as I open the camera app.

"1...2...3…" The camera shutters several times before I hand it back to her. "You better like one of them cause I'm not taking any more."

"Rude." She glares at me. "JJ would let me check and make sure I liked it," she mumbles under her breath—referring to our older brother, JJ, who hasn't lived at home since he went off to college for nursing two years ago.

"Well, JJ isn't here, so you get to deal with me." I smile back at her before grabbing a piece of paper from the counter.

"Dove, come here." I nod Leah over to me, handing her the paper. "Read this out loud," I whisper in her ear. She glances up at me and I give her a wink, loving the small giggle that falls from her lips when I do.

"Shotgun!" Leah smiles as she turns the paper around.

"Dammit, Sawyer!" Taylor groans as I finish putting my jacket on and snatch my keys from the counter.

"Let's go!"

When we pull up to the haunted trail, I'm pleased to see the line isn't too long to get in. We're always in there far past the temperature dropping and I'm left with four iron deficient girls whining about being cold by the time we get back to the truck. Because God forbid, they wear jackets over their costumes because it doesn't "fit the vibe" as Taylor always claims.

When we're almost up to the entrance I see Leah wrap her arms around herself and her jaw chattering fiercely.

"Cold?" I shove my hands into my pockets as I slide up next to her.

"Freezing," she chatters through her teeth. I shake my head and chuckle as I come to a stop, making her steps halt right along with mine.

"Here, take this." I slide my arms out of my denim jacket and hold it out in front of her.

"Can't. It'll break my wings." She turns around, letting the feathers that line her angel wings brush along my now bare arm.

"Alright, trade then." Her eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"What?" she laughs.

"Yeah, give me the wings and you can wear my jacket." I take a step closer and motion for her to give me her wings.

"Oh, I can't wait to see this," she snickers, pulling them off and sliding her arms through my jacket. She rolls her lips to keep from laughing when she sees me struggle to get the elastic straps over my broad shoulders.

"Here, Moose, let me help you." She rolls her eyes playfully, walking behind me to pull them the rest of the way up and adjusting the straps. The tingle that runs down my spine from feeling her slender fingers brush against my back catches me off guard, but when she walks back in front of me and brings her fingers to her lips to keep from laughing, I push the feeling aside.

"How do I look?" I clear my throat, holding out my arms to strike a pose.

"Totally angelic." She shakes her head, clearly being sarcastic.

"Looking good, Sawyer." Someone says from beside us. When I look over, I see one of my old classmates practically trying to undress me with her eyes. I glance back down at Leah to gauge her reaction—though I'm not entirely sure why —but she's not even paying attention. She's looking in the opposite direction and for some reason, that bothers me.

Something that feels a lot like disappointment settles in my chest over the simple fact that she didn't scowl at Angela for hitting on me in front of her.

Am I actually mad that she isn't jealous?

Why would she be though? We're just friends, and she has no idea how I feel about her. I shake away the feeling, ignore Angela, and I throw my arm around Leah's shoulder.

"You look ridiculous," she giggles as we walk closer to the entrance of the trail.

"Are you warm?" I ask, as she hugs the jacket closer to her body.

"Very. Thank you." When she smiles up at me, I can feel the warmth from it spread through my entire chest.

"Then it's worth looking a little ridiculous. Let's go, it's our turn." I nod towards the entrance as she takes a deep breath, nodding in agreement. Leah is not a fan of spooky things. She will watch any movie in the world, but if it has a jump scare in it, she's immediately out. So, the fact that she continues to come to the haunted trail every year is a true testament to her commitment to her friends and their traditions.

Well, our traditions, I guess.

When we reach the front Taylor, Shane, and Lauren all turn around and face us.

"There you guys are. We lost you for a minute." Shane locks eyes with Leah first, then tilts her head and looks at me.

"Glad you decided to dress up after all Sawyer," she snickers, drawing attention to the wings I'm now wearing. Taylor and Lauren both laugh, and Taylor quickly snaps a picture of us just before the ticket attendant calls for us to go through.

"Come on, Le." Taylor waves her over to link arms with her and the four of them walk through the entrance together.

The beginning of the maze is basically a small shed with worn out tarps covering both the entrance and the exit. As soon as we walk through, a strobe light flashes and a clown pops out of the corner, making all the girls run out screaming as fast as possible. I can't help but laugh as I walk behind them through the tattered fabric hung on the threshold to the maze.

I hear them scream again in the distance and follow the sounds until I can see them, but before I can catch up, the actress dressed as the girl from The Ring starts speed crawling towards them and the girls start falling all over each other. I snicker at how ridiculous they look until I see them all scatter, and Leah falls to the ground. I'm already walking a little faster to get to her but when the girl starts crawling towards Leah, causing her to scream louder than I've ever heard someone scream before, I'm there in a matter of seconds.

"Come on, I got you." I bend to help her back to her feet.

"Sawyer, thank God," she sighs, dusting herself off. "I'm gonna kill them for leaving me like that." We make it around the next corner with only a scarecrow hanging on our right, but as soon as we turn again a chainsaw starts in the distance, prompting Pinhead and Michael Myers to pop out of the field. Leah screams as she backs into me, and I instinctively wrap my arms around her. She turns to bury her face in my chest as the sound of the chainsaw gets closer and closer. She frantically grabs my T-shirt, digging her nails into my sides as she screams.

"Sawyer!" Something happens in that moment that completely alters my brain chemistry, and my heart skips a beat. Suddenly I feel the magnitude of her presence, and it's nearly enough to knock me on my ass.

I tighten my grip around her, lifting her feet just barely off the ground, hurrying past the loud noises and masked men. When we're finally at a clearing with no one else around, I place her feet back on the ground and our eyes lock, making it hard to catch my breath. Her nails are still digging into the skin around my ribs and her bright green eyes are locked on mine with panic and adrenaline still dancing behind them wildly. The scent of warm vanilla wafts around me as she turns her head to take in our surroundings. I close my eyes and breathe her in, feeling time slow down around us.

Why is this happening? Why now?

Time catches back up to me when she turns around and I do my best to ignore the tension in the air.

"Don't worry, Dove. You know I've got you." I squeeze her arms gently and she nods vehemently, backing out of my embrace.

"Let's get out of here." I can't help but laugh when she swats her angel wings out of the way to hide behind my left arm, keeping a death grip on me until we're safely out of the maze and I hate it when she finally lets go.

The only thing on my mind the whole ride to the McCallum's land was Leah. The way she felt against me, her nails in my skin, the way she smells, the way I loved hearing her scream my name. I never thought someone's world could change in one night, but in one simple moment , mine has. The girls file out of my truck and run straight over to the drink table, filling their cups before yelling "Cheers!" and tipping them back.

They all ease into the night—talking with their classmates, playing corn hole and beer pong—while I give myself some distance and time to think. In an effort to talk myself out of seeing Leah as anything more than a friend, I find myself doing just the opposite, and when they start dancing around the fire, I can't take my eyes off of her. The light from the flames illuminate around her like the angel that she is, making everyone else fade away.

So pure, sweet, and innocent. My Dove.

Only she isn't mine. Not in the ways I want her to be.

So why can't I think of anything other than having her in my arms again, or having my name fall from her perfect lips.

"What the actual fuck are you doing?" Taylor's voice tears me from my thoughts, making my heart beat even more erratically than it was before.

"Shit, Taylor. You can't just sneak up on someone like that." I warn, checking my surroundings and trying to slow my heart rate.

"If I'm following your gaze correctly, you're staring really intensely at the wrong person." She leans in trying to follow my line of sight.

"And who might that be?" I level her with a glare.

There's no way she could tell who I was staring at.

"Um, Leah. Duh."

Shit. Maybe she could.

My jaw flexes and my gaze settles on her once again when Taylor says her name. The smile on her face as she laughs with Shane, and the way she swings her hips back and forth to the music has me lost in thought all over again.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Sawyer? You can't." Her voice is pitchy and aggravated, but she doesn't specify what exactly it is I can't do. Though I'm assuming she means literally anything.

"Why not?"

Not the question I meant to ask, but okay.

"She's one of my best friends, Sawyer. And she's one of yours too. If you do something or start something with her that doesn't work out, you'll lose her. And since you're my brother, I'll lose her too. And I will ne-ver forgive you if you cause me to lose one of my best friends just because you're thinking with your boy dick." She wags her index finger at me and pins me with a stare that travels straight to my soul.

"We're just friends, Tot. So just…chill out. Okay?" My jaw ticks as I try to convince her and myself that it's the truth.

"Really, Moose? Cause friends don't look at friends the way you were just looking at Leah." When she walks away, I look back in an effort to find Leah, but she's no longer dancing in the same spot. Instead, she's standing awfully close to Justin McCallum and every bone in my body is telling me to go snatch her up and keep her by my side the rest of the night.

Holy shit, am I actually jealous right now?

When she looks my way and smiles, I fear Taylor might have been right. Because I'm definitely not looking at her as a friend right now.

"Fuck," I mutter to myself. Closing my eyes I try to contemplate what the hell I'm going to do about this newfound fascination I have with my sister's best friend.

My best friend.

"Hey, Moose!" I know it's her before I even open my eyes, but when I do I feel my heart skip a beat. Her long brown hair swooshes back and forth as she spins to stand next to me, sending her vanilla scent soaring through the air again. "We're all going to Flapjack's tomorrow morning to cure the inevitable hangovers that are to be had, you're coming too." It's a statement more than it is a question, and I feel an odd sense of pride knowing she wants me there.

"Yes ma'am." I chuckle, saluting her. She rolls her eyes and laughs before grabbing my hand.

"Come on, I need someone to dance with. Lauren is a little handsy tonight."

Lucky her.

"I don't know, Dove. I'm not sure I'm up for it tonight." She turns around to face me with a pout. She says nothing. She simply pleads with her plump lips jutted out sadly.

God, what I would give to know what they would feel like against mine.

"Fine." A devilishly sweet smile spreads across her face when I agree, and she turns to lead me over to where people are still dancing. The moment her hands land on my shoulders and she starts moving her hips back and forth, I'm done for.

I want my sister's best friend in the most sinful ways, and I can't do a damn thing about it.

Morning comes faster than I wish it had, and I've fought myself every hour over whether or not I should be going to breakfast with Leah and whoever the hell else is supposed to be there. But of course, if it's for Leah, I'm going to show up. Throwing on a plain black hoodie and a pair of blue jeans I head out the door so I'm not late.

The entire drive to Flapjack's I try to convince myself that what I was feeling last night was a fluke, making up any and every excuse I could for why I was looking at her like…like I shouldn't have been looking at her.

I've all but convinced myself that it was a one-time thing when I pull into the parking lot, but as soon as I catch a glimpse of her through the diner window that foundation crumbles. Because my breath catches when she tosses her curly brown hair over her shoulder, and I find myself wondering if she still smells like vanilla.

It definitely wasn't a fluke. Of course it wasn't, she's been the only thing on my mind since she landed in my arms—and for much longer before that if I were just freaking honest with myself.

My heart races and my palms begin to sweat as I look down to see a text from her.

Dove

You're still coming right? I feel mean telling people they can't sit beside me if you're not gonna fill the seat. LOL

She's scanning the diner when I look back up, likely wondering when I'm going to walk through the door. A smile finds its way onto my lips knowing she's waiting for me. I close my eyes, trying to prepare myself to go in and act platonically with her.

I can do this. Dove and I have been friends for years.

Images of me pulling her chair closer to mine, wrapping my arm around her, and whispering in her ear that I've been haunted by the feeling of her hands on me last night flood my mind, making my eyes fly back open.

Yeah, I can't do this.

There's no way I'm walking into that diner without it being painfully obvious that I want her in all the ways I shouldn't.

One night. One simple moment changed everything and decided my fate.

I have to put some distance between us before I do something I'll regret and fuck everything up. Not only between me and Leah, but potentially Taylor and Leah as well.

Fuck.

I can always blame my not showing up on needing to head back early for training. That gives me at least until the holidays to see if distance will help me shake the feeling of wanting more with her. Maybe then we can continue on like normal and I can put all of this behind me.

Me

Sorry Dove, not gonna make it. Maybe next time.

Oh, how terribly wrong I was… About all of it.