5. Tessa

I knew from McKenna that Adam was the least likely of her brothers to get serious. I knew his story, even if he and I weren’t close. At four years older than McKenna, that was a chasm when we were younger. Adam’s girlfriend from high school had died during their freshman year in college. McKenna said he’d been truly devastated. She said he was too cynical to get serious again.

I didn’t want a relationship or anything remotely serious. I just wanted a chance to see if I could feel something other than numb. I felt more alive at this moment after a kiss from Adam than I’d maybe ever felt with a man.

Adam’s gaze bored into mine. Even though it was intense, I felt a thread of protectiveness in it. I didn’t know if it was conscious on his part. I gathered my courage, daring myself.

“More.” That was all I could manage to say.

Adam was quiet for an electrifying moment. Somewhere along the way, his knee had slipped between my thighs, and I could feel the subtle pressure on my clit. It was a sweet, piercing pressure. It was all I could do not to rock my hips.

If I was an expert at one thing, though, it was staying in control and managing every incremental response of my body. I held still until I began to tremble. His hand rested on the curve of my hip. He shifted it slightly, his touch almost soothing. I didn’t say a word, but it felt as if he could read my mind.

“It’s okay,” he said, his tone low.

The tension left my body in a whoosh on the heels of a breath.

“You don’t have to do anything. With me, that is,” he added.

Quiet fell between us, and I thought for a moment this would be where the conversation ended.

“Tell me what more means.”

I marshaled my composure and took a shaky breath. Tension began to buzz inside. “I don’t really…” I took another breath. All the while, he waited patiently. “I don’t want a relationship. I’ve already been married, and it was a disaster.”

Adam’s nod was almost imperceptible, and I didn’t sense any annoyance or impatience from him. I wasn’t used to someone waiting to let me explain. It unsettled me, but I forced myself to forge ahead.

“But I don’t want to be a nun. And for some reason, I trust you.”

His brows hitched up slightly. After a loaded moment of silence, his lips curled at the corners and my belly shimmied. “Well, of course, I don’t want to be a priest either. Or we could just say we don’t want to be celibate.”

I rolled my eyes slightly. I didn’t know why I felt so comfortable with Adam. Although he’d been in the periphery of my life when I was growing up, he and I weren’t what I would call friends. We were friendly.

“How come you never noticed me before?” I wanted to snatch the question back as soon as it slipped out.

But Adam took it at face value. “I don’t know. Maybe because when we were younger, you were my little sister’s friend. Because of our family, friends didn’t come to our house much. While I knew you were McKenna’s friend, you were in the distance, and—” His words cut off abruptly, and he shrugged again.

He didn’t need to elaborate on his family. To my knowledge, this generation of the Cannon family was close and loving. Maybe those bonds had been forged in the trauma their grandfather had meted out through abuse.

I didn’t even really know the whole story of his experience in his family or how he felt about his girlfriend dying. In short, I knew a lot of details about Adam, but I didn’t know him beyond a friendly, superficial level.

“How come you never noticed me?” he asked, his gaze curious.

I stared at him, and my heart started to beat faster. I wanted to tell the truth. Before I could say anything, he swore, “Aw, hell, I shouldn’t have asked that.”

“Why? I asked you,” I pointed out.

Silence filled the space again. I was surprised to realize I didn’t start panicking. There was a sense of anticipation but not the dread and fear that I used to experience with my ex whenever there were gaps of silence.

“Because I know Rich. He’s a controlling, jealous asshole. I’m guessing you didn’t pay attention to anybody because it wasn’t safe for you to do that,” Adam said, his tone careful and level.

My eyes were wide, and cold fear drafted through me. “How well do you know him? Are you friends?” My voice was on the verge of shaking.

Adam’s reaction was swift. “Fuck, no. He was a bully when we were kids, he was an asshole in high school, and he was a fucking asshole in college. I know him because Fireweed Harbor is a small town. Like I mentioned before, he was a controlling, jealous jerk with a girl he dated. He freaked out about some guy holding the door for her in the winter once. I don’t have to know him well to get the idea. He has a reputation.” Adam studied me for several long beats while my heart pounded against my ribs. “Why do you trust me?”

I contemplated his question, trying to read my body’s reaction to him, almost reaching for slivers of doubt. “I don’t know.”

A tiny corner of my mind was afraid I would be wrong, because I hadn’t had a reason to mistrust Rich at first. Yet the way I felt with Adam was nothing like that.

Once again, silence stretched between us. “What does ‘more’ mean?” he finally asked.

I could barely breathe with the force of anticipation seizing my lungs and sending my pulse skittering. “Just that. More.”

Adam nodded, and I suddenly became aware that we’d been having this emotionally fraught conversation, and all the while, his knee was nestled between my thighs. My panties were wet, and my nipples were tight, and I had forgotten all of it.

Just as I flailed about, trying to figure out how to exit this moment gracefully, Adam said, “Just tell me when and where. It’s always on your terms.”

I knew, to my bones, that he meant that.