31. Tessa

My thumbs hovered over my phone screen. I wanted to text Adam and break it off. I knew I had to—for Eric—but my heart hurt. It felt like Rich was once again pulling the strings of my life. I was nothing but a marionette he controlled from a distance.

I should’ve known better than to think he would accept me seeing anyone. Although part of me wished I hadn’t said anything to Lisa, I hoped she was okay.

I wanted to take the coward’s way out and just send Adam a text, but I owed him a face-to-face conversation. After I dropped Eric off at school, I called him.

“Hey, where are you?” I asked as soon as he answered.

“Still at home.” His voice was warm, and a fresh sense of happiness spun in my chest.

“Can I stop by?”

“As if you have to ask,” he teased lightly. “You’re feeling better?”

“Uh-huh. I’m on my way. I just dropped Eric off at school.”

“See you in a few.”

My heart pounded unsteadily, and my chest felt tight as I drove to Adam’s. I didn’t want to do this, but I had to. I was running on adrenaline when I arrived and practically raced up his stairs.

Adam opened the door as if he’d been waiting for me. He was murmuring against my lips a moment later after he tugged me into the house. I let myself forget for just a moment why I was there and tumbled into our kiss.

By the time he lifted his head, I was breathless. He stepped back. “Would you like some coffee? Or should we go to Spill the Beans Café?”

My smile was shaky. “Coffee here would be great.” I followed him into the kitchen, and he handed me a mug of plain black coffee. He knew how I liked my coffee. My heart twisted sharply because that tiny detail meant so much.

He turned, resting his hips against the counter and studying me. “What is it? You look worried.”

I blinked. “How do you know I’m worried?”

“Because I know you.”

I took a gulp of coffee, my hands curling around the mug and holding on as if it could somehow keep me from spinning out inside. On the heels of a deep breath, I blurted out, “I can’t see you anymore.”

Adam was quiet for a few beats. He set his mug down on the counter another moment later. “What did Rich do?”

“I screwed up. I saw his girlfriend in the bathroom the other night at the winery, and she had bruises on her arms. They were fingerprints. I know what those look like. I told her if she needed anything, I would help her. She must’ve said something to him. I don’t know. He told me I fucked up. I know what that means. It’ll come down to Eric again. It always does. He knows that hurts me the most. I can’t risk that, Adam.” Tears slid down my cheeks, and I kept holding that mug.

Adam pushed away from the counter, stopping in front of me. His hands rested on my shoulders, his touch strong and steady. I was cold inside and out, and I could feel the warmth radiating from his palms.

“We said we would do this together. I’m not going to let him do this to you or to Eric.”

My lips were dry. He lifted a hand, gently brushing the tears off my cheeks with his thumb.

“I know we said that, but it’s Eric. Eric is more important than us, than me. I need to talk to Colin and see what we can do. That’s the only way maybe I can get—” I closed my eyes as I took a shaky breath before opening them again. “I don’t want to do this. I love you.” I swallowed through the ball of pain in my throat. “I have to try to make sure it’s okay for Eric first.”

“I understand. I do. We’ll do what we were doing before and hide. I’m trying to respect what you’re saying about Eric.”

“Adam, you don’t understand. Rich will do everything he can to control this. We can stay in touch. I’ll text you every day. We can talk on the phone, but that’s it. Not until I know it’s going to be okay.”

He reached for the mug I was clinging to and set it on the counter. He folded me into his arms and just held me. “Okay,” he whispered into my hair. “Call me tonight. I love you.”

When I left a few minutes later, after a desperate kiss, my tears were drying on my cheeks. The only part I didn’t tell Adam was that I was lying about calling him. I couldn’t bear it. I could handle texting, but that was it.

And I hated that I let him believe otherwise.