21. Adam

Kenan came striding into my office with nothing more than a sharp knock on the inside edge of the partially open door. He waggled his brows before he turned to close the door behind him. I leaned back in my chair when he sat down across from my desk. “How are you?”

“Fine, you?”

He shrugged. “I’m great.”

“Why do I feel like this visit is loaded?”

His grin stretched. “Because I happened to see your SUV headed toward Tessa’s place the other night.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I tapped save on the spreadsheet I was working on before I closed my laptop and leaned back in my chair. “This town isn’t exactly big. Just because I was driving near someone’s house doesn’t mean it has anything to do with them.”

My brother’s brows hitched up, his gaze skeptical. “I know you. You’re not usually driving anywhere at that hour.”

I pressed my tongue into my cheek, considering what to say. I actually liked having a twin brother. I always knew I had someone in my corner. The only downside was that he knew me better than anyone, meaning he understood more about me than most people. Even with my other siblings, I could get away with being vague and hedging on certain topics.

I decided to roll with it, though, because I needed his feedback. I drummed my fingertips on the arm of my chair and let out a sharp breath. “This isn’t going the way I expected.”

“What did you expect?” Instantly, Kenan’s gaze shifted from sly and teasing to focused and serious.

I resisted the urge to sigh. “I didn’t expect any of this. I thought it was a fluke that night. And now—” I leaned forward, steepling my hands together. “I think it’s complicated. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I feel like I’m all in. And Tessa has no idea.”

Kenan tipped his head to the side, studying me quietly. “What do you mean ‘all in’?” he asked, complete with air quotes.

My heart kicked unsteadily in my chest. I shook my head, wondering what I meant. “I’m not ready to say I’m in love because, for fuck’s sake, it’s only been two weeks. But at this point, I think I might do anything for her. You know, take care of her, make her dinner, run errands with her, make her ex’s life as hellish as he’s made hers. I know she wants me to let her take care of that, and I will because that matters to her.”

“That sounds an awful lot like love,” Kenan said, his lips kicking up slightly at one corner.

“It’s insane, though. I mean, she’s been in my life forever because she and McKenna have been friends since?—”

“Kindergarten,” Kenan offered with a light shrug. “I’m with you. Since Quinn and I got married, I’ve seen Tessa a lot more because they hang out. It’s not like Tessa’s some random stranger you never met. If I can fall in love—” My brother tapped his chest with his fist. “So can you. Unlike me, you’ve had a serious relationship before.”

I thought about Julie. “We were young. I don’t think we would’ve lasted. Hell, I know we wouldn’t have lasted. She was trying to figure out how to break up with me.” Kenan was one of the few people who knew about that.

“You’re over that, though,” he pointed out.

He was right, and I knew it. It burned a little. That love had been young. I’d wanted something to hold on to, something good. Julie had represented that for me at a time when I needed it.

“I am. I have been. It’s just…” I shrugged.

“Our fucking messy family.”

We all shared cynicism, anger, and trauma because of our grandfather. We’d dealt with the loss of our father and then our abusive grandfather “helping” because my mom had her hands full. Nobody protected us except maybe Rhys. Jake drank himself to death. And just a few months ago, we had all learned that our oldest brother had physically assaulted and bullied our only sister. That kernel of information had shattered our mother. Although it wasn’t like it was a surprise. Maybe Jake hadn’t been physically aggressive to the rest of us, but we’d seen his temper. We all had a role in the dance of trauma within our family. Mine and Kenan’s had been as the mediators.

“It would be okay,” Kenan said softly.

“What would be okay?”

“For you to fall in love.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I’m not —” My words cut off abruptly as I let out a sigh and ran a hand through my hair.

“She just means a lot to you,” Kenan said, his tone bordering on mocking.

“What the hell should I do?”

He studied me. “You knew I was in love with Quinn before I did.”

“Yeah, but you two had been good friends for years by that point. This thing with Tessa just isn’t the same.”

“It never is. Maybe you’re not in love yet, but I’d say you’re definitely falling. It’ll probably be a crash landing, but you’ll be okay.” The humor faded from his gaze as he leaned forward in his chair. “You are one of the best men I know. Sure, I’m biased because I’m your twin brother, but you are as loyal as they come. You take care of everyone who needs you. You’re made for this. I like Tessa. She deserves a man like you.”