Chapter 18

Cecil sat around the fire, pretending to sing. Pretending he didn’t feel like he’d been roped and tied to a pole for ants to eat him.

Pa put away his guitar, and people headed for bed.

“I’ll take first watch.” Cecil marched into the dusk without giving anyone a chance to say anything. Huh. What would they say? No one minded getting a few hours of sleep. But sleep would not come easily tonight despite his weary bones.

Why had Louise turned away his offer of marriage? Why had she suggested he and Hazel raise the boy?

Was it because being a nurse was more important than Dobie? Or himself?

Sourness filled the back of his throat. He kicked a clump of dirt as he circled the camp. The fire died to red coals. The others slept.

Even Louise? He didn’t know, but she was in her tent.

Where was Dobie?

“Dob?” he whispered. “Dob?”

“He’s with Louise,” Pa called.

Huh. Why would she keep him at her side when it was plain she meant to give him to others? Poor Dobie.

Something about the situation befuddled him. First, it wasn’t like Louise. At least the Louise he’d grown to know. She was loyal and kind. Second, why Hazel? Had Hazel said something to make Louise think she had aspirations to marry him?

Nah. That didn’t make sense either. Hazel and he were good friends. Nothing more. She felt the same way. He was not a part of her future, nor did he want to be.

Nothing made sense.

In the morning, it still didn’t make sense.

Louise avoided him so efficiently that Walt shook his head as they brought in the oxen.

“Lover’s quarrel?” His tone was mild.

“What?” At least there was no one around to hear what Walt said.

“You heard me.”

“You are sadly mistaken.” The words burned from Cecil’s tongue. A quarrel would be easy to resolve.

“Sadly?”

Shoot. He’d given away more than he planned.

“Tell me what’s going on. Your big brother might be able to help.”

They backed the oxen into place. “Right. You’re happily married to the woman you love.”

Walt chuckled. “I recall it was something you said to me that made me realize what I needed to do.”

“Really. Me?”

“Yeah. I was surprised, too.”

“Don’t suppose what I said to you would be any help to me.” He patted the oxen next to him.

“It might be. You said, and I quote, ‘If I was in your shoes, I’d find a way to tell the gal how I feel about her.’ Cecil, have you told her?”

He gulped. “Well, not in so many words. But surely, she can see.”

“Or maybe not. If I was you, I would find a way to tell her. In words that can’t be misunderstood.”

“You’re assuming she will listen.”

“You don’t know if you don’t try.”

“Guess so.” The animals were ready to leave. Cecil stood with his arms crossed, staring across the bristly backbones to his brother.

“Seems you should be a little more excited about the idea.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Just how much more rejection could he take?

“Grow up, little brother. Some things are worth the risk.”

“Yes, they are.” He should have seen that for himself. This was not a time to bow out. He’d find a way and a time to talk to her.

That night, after the meal, Walt suggested a walk. “Irene? Louise?” He didn’t invite any of the others, and none of them asked to accompany them.

Walt tipped his head to Cecil as the three of them left the campsite.

Cecil nodded. His big brother was making a way for Cecil to talk to Louise.

She stopped when Cecil jogged up to them and glanced over her shoulder, but when Irene hooked her arm in hers, she had no choice but to continue onward.

The western sky was a rim of orange, reflecting in the quiet stream they meandered along. Ducks quacked a protest at their intrusion. Quiet birdsong came from the trees. The scent of a spicy-smelling flower blended with the scent of water.

Walt stopped and pulled Irene into his arms. “Come with me, wife. Someplace where I can kiss you without an audience.”

Irene smothered a giggle as she let him lead her out of sight into the trees.

“Well!” Louise huffed. “We might as well head back.”

Cecil had no intention of returning until he’d had his say. “Let’s see what’s around that bend in the stream.”

“I assume more stream and more trees.”

“We won’t know if we don’t look. Come on.” He beckoned her forward. His heart sank to his boots when she hesitated, glancing back toward camp.

And then she nodded and followed him.

Sure enough. Around the next bend were more water and more trees. But also one thing he could point out to her. The pale moonlight glistened off orange tiger lilies.

“Oh. They’re beautiful.” She rushed forward to kneel at the closest one. “So delicate.”

He sank to the ground where he could watch her.

Now was the time.

“Louise, why do you think Hazel and I should become Dobie’s parents? Don’t you love him? Don’t you want to be his mother?” There was so much more he wanted to say but one step at a time.

She trailed her finger along one of the petals, then sat back on her heels, her hands folded in her lap. “He needs both parents.”

“I agree. But why me and Hazel?”

Surprise widened her eyes. “You’d make good parents.” Two blinks. “Aren’t you planning to marry her?”

“Me?”

Her gaze returned to her clasped hands. “I’ve seen you with her. You’re gentle and kind. You care deeply about Petey.” Her voice dropped so low he strained to hear her. “You love her.”

“I—what? How did you come to that conclusion?”

“I saw you hugging her back when—oh, it doesn’t matter when. I saw it. Saw it more than once.” The words rushed from her. “You are always ready to help her. Like—” Her voice dropped again. “Like a husband would.”

“You think…? Ah. That’s why you were so upset when I kissed you.”

She tipped her chin up. “I have no intention of…of…Well, you know what?”

“I honestly don’t.”

Her lips pursed. “I will not dillydally with a man who loves another.”

Every thought. Every word was blown from his mind until she hurried to her feet.

He stood, too. “Louise, hear me out. Please.”

She stopped. “I don’t know what else there is to say, but go ahead.”

Edging around so he faced her, he began. “Louise, I don’t love Hazel. We’re good friends. Almost like brother and sister.”

“That’s not very kind to her.”

“She feels the same.”

“How do you know that?”

“Well…” Good question. “We often talk about her brother Carson. She says she can’t wait until we reach the fort and she can see him again. He and I are good friends. She says in the meantime, she’ll accept me as a substitute brother.” There, did that convince her? It should. But he had one other argument that would.

“Are you sure you aren’t misunderstanding what she means?”

“Louise, if you look at things with an open mind, you might notice that she has eyes for someone else.”

That set her back. She blinked. Opened her mouth. Blinked again. “Walt’s married. That leaves— Really? You’re sure?”

“I promised I wouldn’t say anything, so don’t let her know you know. It’s one of the reasons I held her as she cried.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Good. Then listen. Louise, you and I can marry and be Dobie’s parents.” He waited, unable to breathe until she gave her answer.

“But—” She looked at the flowers at her feet. “A marriage of convenience? I suppose that could work.”

“No. Wait. That’s not what I mean at all.” When had he gotten so clumsy with his words? “I don’t want a marriage of convenience. I want one built on love.” He held his breath, waiting for her to acknowledge his confession.

“Are you?—?”

“I’m trying to tell you that I love you. I want to marry you out of love. Is there any chance you could grow to love me?”

Laughter rang out. When she could speak, she said, “If you knew how long I’ve been trying to deny my love for you… thinking you belonged to Hazel. Yes, Cecil Miller, I love you.”

That was all he needed to hear, and he swung her off her feet. “Louise Archibald, I love you like crazy.”

He set her on the ground and kissed her. This time, there was no holding back. Their lips became one even as their hearts did.