Chapter 15

D arkness covered Robert as he returned to the abandoned homesite. He'd paused to listen, to look, and to sniff the air. The hint of smoke carried on the wind couldn't be coming from the wagon train. Moving cautiously, slowly, he rode into the wind, following the scent. The ground rose a small degree. He paused when he was able to see over the crest. Flickering yellow light betrayed a campfire. After dismounting, he eased his horse to the nearest bush and tied him there, unholstered his gun, and then slipped forward. As he neared the place, he crouched to study what lay before him.

Three men sat before a small fire in a hollow that almost hid them from view. Three horses stood nearby. The flames flared, lighting the features of the man facing Robert.

It was one of those he'd seen and been wary of at Cypress Hills. But there had been four and earlier, according to the men who delivered the horses, a fifth. Robert didn't dare assume the fifth was with the stolen horses. His muscles twitched. Two missing men could mean a number of things. One or both might be lurking in the shadows, keeping watch.

His shoulder muscles bunched as he lay flat on the ground and waited, listening. But he was too far away to catch what they said. He removed his Stetson, put it on the ground, and then, propelling himself with his elbows and toes, he inched forward, pausing after each move to make sure his presence hadn't been detected.

"Whyn't we ride in and get them hosses?"

"'Cause it'd be stupid. Too many of 'em."

"Yeah. And one a Mountie."

Robert lay still. Maybe they'd say something to indicate where the stolen horses and the missing men were and what they planned.

One of them kicked at the burning logs, sending a shower of sparks upward.

"We could set us a trap. Let the men see us and draw 'em away. Youse ever notice how that there Mountie is always with that pretty gal?"

Murmurs of agreement came from the others.

Robert's nerves twitched. They had no right to mention Ruby.

"So whyn't I kidnap that little thing. Get that Mountie and many t'others to follow me." The speaker slapped his knee and cackled with unholy glee. "The rest of ya could easy get the horses, then."

Robert choked back a feral growl. They wouldn't be kidnapping Ruby while he was alive to prevent it. He coiled his muscles, ready to rush into the camp. The element of surprise would give him an edge, enabling him to capture all three of them.

The snap of a branch to his right sent a shiver down his spine and had him sinking back.

Were the missing men about to make their appearance? Should he strike now before they did? Or devise another plan?

The thought of them planning to harm Ruby was enough to have him throw aside caution despite the odds—three against one or, even possibly, five against one lone Mountie.

When the sky began to fade with the promise of dawn, Ruby jolted awake and slipped from her bed. A quick circle of the livestock didn't reveal Robert's horse.

"He's not back." Joe's voice came from the shadows. "He won't come back until he's finished."

She hurried away without responding. Finished? That could mean more than one thing. Finished with the bad men. Or finished. Forever. She tried in vain to quell the trembling that caught her entire body. Shouldn't one or two of the men ride out to help him? Chances were he was outnumbered. What if he was overpowered?

The trembling raced through her again, accompanied by a touch of nausea as she returned to the camp. Her imagination provided a list of things that could befall him. She tried to shut the thoughts out of her head. And failed.

Everyone was up. The fire blazed. Coffee simmered. Meat sizzled. The men prepared the oxen for travel.

They surely couldn't plan to move on before he rejoined them.

Watching. Waiting. Worrying, she drank her coffee, ate her food, and tried to follow the conversation around the fire.

Gabe's comment caught her attention. "We'll give him an hour, and then we must move on."

She swallowed back her protest and choked. Drank her cooled coffee in gulps.

"He's capable of taking care of himself," Cecil added.

Her lip protested at how hard she bit it. They were going to ride off and leave Robert with no more thought than—no, with less thought than one of Bertie's pets. She grabbed the soiled plates and dashed them into the hot water. She might have scrubbed them with more vigor than was required.

The others lingered over coffee as they waited, and then Gabe rose. "Time to hitch up."

She clamped down on her teeth so hard they creaked. What was wrong with everyone that they could so blithely ride away knowing he was out there? Maybe needing help? But, knowing no one would pay heed to her protests, she kept her thoughts to herself.

"You drive this morning," she said to Angela in the kindest voice she could muster. "I feel the need for some exercise."

"He'll be?—"

Ruby cut her off. No words of comfort would help. Only seeing him ride back, unharmed and all in one piece would ease her breathing. She slowed until she walked behind the horses. If she constantly glanced over her shoulder, no one was there to notice. No one but God, and she lifted her face to the sky. "Lord, keep him safe. Bring him back. Please."

Noon arrived. They stopped. They ate. They rested. Her head echoed from the strain of listening for approaching hoofbeats.

And then they moved on, putting mile after mile between them and him.

Apart from the horses, he had no reason to rejoin the wagons.

Thank God for the horses. Robert would come back for them if for no other reason.

God, do You hear me? Are You listening to my prayers? Are You protecting him? Please, God.

Fragments of sermons flitted through her mind. Sometimes God's answer is a no. His ways are higher than our ways.

A Bible verse she'd memorized as a child came to mind. She stumbled and barely righted herself before she fell to her knees. "But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear." She couldn't remember the reference, although she had also memorized it.

But she didn't harbor sin in her heart. She did what was right and good. Had all her life, thanks to the teaching and encouragement of her parents. Oh sure, she sometimes said unkind things, but she tried to be quick to apologize. Once— maybe twice—she'd snitched a candy from Bertie and let him fuss about losing it. But she'd asked God's forgiveness for that years ago.

Lord, if something's keeping You from hearing me, please reveal it.

She'd do anything, confess anything if it would help Robert.

There are sins of commission and also of omission. Words she'd heard from the pulpit but also from the lips of her pa. Had she committed a sin of omission by hiding the truth? She'd kept a secret from her ma. From her family. Allowed them to believe something untrue.

Guilt soured her insides. Was that keeping God from hearing her prayers?

If Robert didn't return by the time they made camp for the night, she would tell them everything. She'd endure the questions, the recriminations, the way her stomach would churn at having her secret revealed if it helped Robert.

The afternoon dragged by on leaden feet as she alternated between praying for Robert's safety and practicing how she'd tell her family the truth about her plans.

The campfire died down. Gabe set his guitar aside, preparing to end the evening. Now was the time. Ruby pushed to her feet and withdrew her sketchbook from her pocket. "I have something to say to everyone."

Expectant silence greeted her announcement, and every eye except for Petey's turned to her. He didn't look at her because he'd fallen asleep in Joe's arms.

Ruby's gaze hovered at Petey. It would be nice to escape into sleep, but no, she'd made up her mind. With trembling fingers, she withdrew the letter from its place of safety between the pages of the book and unfolded it. The deep breath she drew in carried smoke, making her cough. She forged on. "I wrote to The Society for the Identification of Flora and Fauna of the Eastern Slopes of the Rockies some time ago after seeing samples of their work in a newspaper." Her swallow was loud. At least to her ears. "I sent them some of my drawings and asked if they'd be interested in having me join them in Banff." The page fluttered as she waved it. "They said yes. I plan to leave for Banff as soon as we reach Fort Taylor."

Silence as deep as a pit greeted her announcement.

Ma was the first to speak. "What will you be doing?"

"Drawing plants and flowers for a book they will compile."

"Drawing? I don't understand. I thought you were keeping a journal of our travels."

"Ma, I am. But I also draw." If she showed them her work, would they be convinced of her talent? Surprised the youngest Woods girl could do something that good? Or dismissive? But she had to go all the way. "Here, have a look." She opened the sketchbook and tipped it toward Ma and Gabe. Let them stare, flipped to several other pages, and then turned the book toward the others.

She ignored the murmurs—some of admiration, others of surprise—and focused on Ma.

"My goodness. Those are very good." Ma shook her head. "But why have you kept it a secret? Why not tell us before this?"

The hurt in her voice sliced through Ruby. "I don't know. Guess I didn't want you to worry." Her gaze swept those staring at her. "I didn't want anyone trying to talk me out of it. Or telling me I was too young. Too—" No word came to mind to explain her reasons adequately. "I'm sorry you're disappointed in me." She closed the sketchbook and sat down. Then, remembering it was bedtime, she started to rise.

"I'm not disappointed in you. Only in the fact you didn't feel you could trust us. Me."

"Ma." The one heavy word carried all her weariness. "It's not that I don't trust you." Though she could perhaps understand why her mother would feel that way. Didn't secrets convey a lack of trust? She shrugged. And then a truth edged into her thoughts. "Hiding my work simply became a habit. I'm sorry."

Irene touched the back of Ruby's hand. "Invited to go to Banff. How exciting."

"Thank you." Shouldn't the others be happy for her?

"Yes, of course. It's a wonderful opportunity." Ma nodded, her smile somewhat stiff. "But it means you'll be leaving just when I thought our family would all be together."

"I'm sorry." How many times would she have to say those words before it was enough?

"Ruby, you draw good." Bertie bobbed his head over and over. "Real good."

"Thanks, brother." She could always count on Bertie to cheer her on.

"He's right," Hazel said. "Ruby, I cannot believe your skill. I'm very proud of you. And going to Banff? That's wonderful. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

The others echoed Hazel's praise. All except Ma, whose smile could've been drawn on.

So weary that her bones felt like wet yarn, Ruby pushed to her feet. "I'm going to bed. Good night." After hurrying to the wagon to get her bedding, hoping to feign sleep before Angela caught up to her, Ruby was soon curled up under a blanket in the shelter of the wagon.

But not soon enough.

Angela knelt beside the nearest wheel. "I know you're not asleep. You've barely laid down."

Ruby ignored her. What would it take to make her go away?

"I knew you were drawing flowers. I've seen your work a time or two when you weren't aware I was nearby. I'm not surprised you've been asked to help catalog plant life. But why keep it a secret? And why tell the truth now?"

Staying very still, Ruby kept her back to Angela. How was she to answer when she didn't know? Except for one thing. "I didn't want to deal with all the questions." Case in point. "And I didn't want anyone to try and talk me out of it."

"Perhaps you've also missed the opportunity of having them encourage you."

"Maybe." The thought hadn't entered Ruby's mind. But she said nothing more, and finally, mercifully, Angela left. The wagon creaked as she settled in for the night.

Ruby's breath released in a long sigh.

From the other wagons and nearby tents, she heard whispering. Were they talking about her? Not that she cared. She'd done what she needed to. And if revealing the truth on this day enabled her to pray more effectively, that was all that mattered. Please, God, protect Robert.

Footsteps padding by wakened her before any hint of dawn. She lay still, listening for a sign Robert had returned. Not hearing anything of the sort, she curled up and wished for sleep. Sleep would protect her from further questions and facing Ma's disappointment. Sleep would block the ache in her heart from wondering and worrying about Robert.

But slumber eluded her. When the others started moving around, she had to get up. As soon as her bedding was stowed away, she made her reluctant way to the fire. "I'll make pancakes." The question in her tone made it possible for Ma to say she didn't want them today, but Ma only thanked her.

Ruby's sisters and Louise went about their chores as if nothing had happened and Ruby hadn't made a difficult confession. Of course, she scolded herself; there was no reason to be so dramatic. Surprisingly, no one else offered words one way or the other on the subject. Seemed apparent it didn't matter as much to them as to her.

After they'd all held half-full cups of coffee and their plates were cleaned and taken to the washbasin, Ma addressed the subject. "Would you mind if I took another look at your drawings?"

Ruby's hesitation might not have been noticed by anyone else, but she was having a hard time shifting from her work being a secret to it being open to everyone. She hadn't considered that. "Sure, Ma." What else could she say? She handed the book over. If only she could pick and choose what pages the others could see, but that didn't seem possible.

Ma turned one page at a time. "These drawings are so detailed."

"They need to be if they are to be used for study." Besides, she silently added, she liked capturing the tiniest detail.

Ma chuckled. Her amusement drew the others to crowd around her. They, too, laughed.

Ruby leaned over. Oh, the drawing of the gopher.

"He looks mischievous," Ma said. A little later, she gasped. "Ruby, this is beautiful."

She peered over Ma's shoulder at the sketch she'd done by the river. Then it hit her. Her drawing of Robert was in a few more pages. She reached for the sketchbook. "The rest is much the same." But Ma waved her away.

"I'm enjoying this." She continued to turn pages, pausing to read the brief notes Ruby had written concerning their travel. Succinct because that wasn't her main concern. "Travel slow today" or "We escaped a prairie fire." Very few details.

Ruby settled back on her heels, gritting her teeth as she waited for their reaction. It came all too soon.

"Ruby, this likeness is amazing."

Ma needn't sound so surprised. Nor did Angela have to give Ruby a knowing smile.

"I wanted to try my hand at drawing people," she muttered. "Isn't it time to pack up and leave?" She drained the last of the coffee from the pot and rinsed it clean.

"I suppose you're right." Ma set the sketchbook aside, and the men brought in the oxen.

Ruby stuffed the sketchbook into her pocket and then scurried from one thing to another, consumed with restless energy. She searched the horizon for hints of a rider so often even Bertie noticed and started standing beside her to look in the same direction.

With a weary, worry-laden sigh, she followed the others down the trail toward Fort Taylor. Perhaps Robert would rejoin them there if he was able.

Lord, hear my prayer. Keep him safe.

The words became her marching tune.

In order to avoid questions at the noon stop, she ate hurriedly. All she wanted was to hide. But Ma looked in her direction.

"Ruby, would you draw a picture of Petey for me?"

"You want me to—? But I don't draw people."

"You drew Robert."

The faint accusation in her voice stung. "I can try." She retrieved the sketchbook from her pocket and made a mark on the paper. Her hand stopped. "I can't. I feel rushed. Maybe tonight when we have more time."

She jammed the sketchbook into her pocket and went to the shade of the wagon, where she faked sleep. Angela might not have believed Ruby dozed, but she left her alone.

It was her turn to drive the wagon. Seeing as there was nothing better to do and her neck muscles protested how often she looked back as she walked, she climbed to the seat, smiling and nodding at whatever Angela said. Her words echoed inside Ruby's head without making sense. Thankfully, Angela soon decided to walk, leaving Ruby to her thoughts.

She sank over her knees as they traveled. Her secret had been exposed. Robert had disappeared. All in all, it left her as hollowed out as an empty rain barrel. Just when she thought she might give in to a good, self-pitying cry, Joe waved them to stop for the day at a nearby grove. Mechanically, she drove her wagon into place. Her hands moved without her guidance , and she unhitched the oxen and led them to water. Wooden feet carried her back to the camp to help prepare food to feed her nonexistent appetite.

Ma waved her away when she made to wash dishes. "I'd like a drawing of Petey. Remember?"

"Of course." Though she'd never felt less like attempting to create a likeness of a person. But if it would make Ma feel better, Petey was a good subject.

She reached into her pocket for the sketchbook. Stuffed her hand in further. Patted her skirt. It wasn't there. She jabbed her fingers into the seams of her pocket. Surely, it was there. It had to be. But there was nothing but fabric and lint.

The bottom fell out of her stomach, leaving her dizzy.

Standing, she looked at the ground near where she'd sat. "My sketchbook is gone." The words echoed down a long hollow tube. It must have fallen out while she slouched on the wagon seat. How distracted she must've been not to notice. Her feet raised puffs of dust as she rushed back to the wagon. A search of the seat and the floor underneath resulted in nothing.

Angela joined her. "If it fell out, it might have slid back into the wagon box. I'll help you look."

They searched every corner. Found nothing and proceeded to move every crate and trunk to look behind them. Under them. They moved everything again. Still nothing.

Ruby sat back and wailed. "It's not here. Where can it be? How could I not notice it had fallen out?"

Irene joined them at the wagon. "We've looked everywhere and haven't found it. When was the last time you had it?"

"At noon, when I started to draw Petey."

Angela's face crinkled. "Could it have fallen out when you climbed to the seat?"

"Maybe." Ruby jumped to the ground and began to retrace the path they'd traveled.

"I'll go with you." Cecil fell in at her side. "It has to be around here someplace."

At times trotting, at other times walking slowly, her attention on the ground, she searched.

"Ruby, we're more'n a mile from the wagons. It will soon be dark." Cecil clearly thought she should give up the search.

"You don't understand. It's my work. I need it. I—" No one would realize how important her drawings were. The detailed pictures she'd produced over the last year. The orchids she'd drawn in the Cypress Hills. A wail swelled in her throat, threatening to choke her. "I must find it." She resumed her frantic search.

"Ruby, I'll help you look in the morning, but there's no point in continuing tonight. We can barely see the ground. It will soon be so dark we could walk past it and not see it."

He was right, but her insides caved inward at the thought of losing her precious work. With leaden feet, she made her way back to the wagons. Gabe held his guitar and waited for them to return. She plunked down by the fire, shaking her head when Hazel tried to comfort her. No words, no touch, however sympathetic, would fix things.

Motionless and silent, she sat through the singing and then escaped to her bed.

Angela paused alongside the wagon. "Ruby, I'm sorry."

Ruby curled into a ball to wait for daylight.

Come morning, she had to endure breakfast before it was light enough to retrace her steps. She started out without waiting for Cecil, and when he caught up, leading his horse, she waved him away. "I can look on my own."

"I'm sure you can." He continued to walk a few feet to her side. "Two pairs of eyes are better than one."

"Thank you." On and on, they walked. The sun burned hot, stinging her eyes as they continued. Then they reached the spot where they'd stopped for the noon break. The ground was trampled. Animal droppings lifted their odor to the sky. Flies buzzed. Ducks quacked a protest and rose from the water, the racket grinding against her thoughts.

"I don't see it." She fell to her knees and dug through the grass, even though it wasn't tall enough to hide her book.

"I don't see it either. Come on. We must get back." Cecil pulled her to her feet. "I'm so sorry." He swung into the saddle and held out a hand to lift her up behind him.

Her eyes stung. The skin on her face tightened over her features. The inside of her head roared like an approaching wind, even though the air around them was calm.

The wagons had moved out, and Ruby and Cecil hurried to catch up. He let her down by Gabe's wagon. While he went on to help with the horses, she fell back, trudging along in the dirt.

Robert had disappeared. Her sketchbook, likewise. Life had lost its glitter. A perfect reflection of her life.

Trudge, trudge, trudge.

What happened to her sketchbook? It couldn't have completely disappeared. And yet, it had.

Her heart sent out a shock.

Here she was fretting about her sketchbook when Robert was in danger. How foolish. She might not be able to reproduce all her drawings, but she could make new ones.

She cared about her sketchbook only a fraction of how much Robert mattered. She couldn't replace Robert. She hugged her arms around herself and laughed. Her feet grew lighter.

What happened to him? Was he alive and well or—? Just as suddenly as her joy had come, it vanished. Where was Robert? Was he as lost as her sketchbook?

Lord, keep him safe. Lord, keep him safe. Over and over, she repeated the words inside her hollow head.

She walked on until she was at the front wagon and looked around to see why they weren't moving.

"Mounties!" Walt pointed to as three red-coated riders approached.

She squinted into the distance. Was Carson one of them? But why would he come to meet them unless Ma said something in the letter she'd posted at Cypress Hills? But how could it have reached him so soon?

As the riders neared, she made out her brother's familiar face.

"Carson!" Ma trotted forward to greet him.

"Ma!" He dismounted and swept her off her feet in a massive hug.

The girls surged forward to say hi but stepped back to let Bertie go first.

"Carson." Bertie's voice wobbled. "You got nice coat."

Carson chuckled. "I do, don't I?" The brothers stared at each other, Carson giving Bertie time to decide what he wanted.

"You hug me."

Ma dashed away a tear as the pair embraced. Bertie couldn't stop patting Carson's back. And then Ma signaled the others forward. The two families had been friends years ago, and Carson had kept in touch with Cecil. But Carson hadn't seen them face-to-face in a long time.

"I told you about Gabe." Ma's voice quivered.

"Welcome to the family," Carson said as he shook hands with the man.

Cecil planted a hand on Carson's shoulder. "Nice to see you, friend. Letters are not as good as face-to-face."

Hazel pulled Joe forward. "My new husband."

Both men stood stiff, studying the other. Then Carson held out his hand. "Hazel deserves to be happy." He shifted his attention to Petey, who hid his face against Joe's chest. "This is your son?"

Both Hazel and Joe answered in the affirmative.

"Louise, nice to see you again. Ma's letter said you'd married Cecil and adopted a boy. Dobie?"

The little guy nodded, standing tall and brave.

Ruby smiled. Now if she were to draw a person, this stance of Dobie's and the steady look on his face would be a subject she'd pick. However, she'd have to wait until she had another sketchbook.

Ma must have read her mind, for she told Carson about Ruby's drawings and her hope of going to Banff. "She's lost her drawings though, so…"

Ruby shrugged. She didn't want to talk about her failed plans.

Carson signaled his fellow Mounties forward and introduced Corporal Jones and Corporal Allard.

"We were sent out to find Corporal Davis and help him trail horses to the fort."

Gabe indicated the herd following the wagons. "We have fifteen head of your horses. Robert isn't here, though." He explained how Robert went looking for men he suspected were responsible for the five missing head.

Carson waved the other Mounties forward. "Jones will help with the horses. Allard and I will go after Robert."

"But, Carson"—Ma spread out her hands—"we've only just seen you. Can't you accompany us at least until we stop for the noon break?"

"No, Ma. I have a job to do." He set his hat tighter to his head. "But we'll come back. I promise."

Corporal Jones took over the lead rope for the horses while Carson and Corporal Allard, following the directions Gabe provided, rode east.

Ruby hugged her arms around her as they departed. Finally, someone was going in search of Robert.

The wagons rattled forward. She continued trudging after the horses.

God, hear my prayer. Keep him safe.

How she longed for assurance of his well-being. It wasn't that she didn't trust God, but not all prayers were answered the way one wanted. Hadn't they prayed for Pa to get better? And now he was gone. She might bargain with God, promise Him all sorts of things. But she'd already confessed her secret. She'd already lost her sketchbook and, in her mind, given it up. There was nothing more she could offer or sacrifice. Besides, prayer didn't work that way.

She simply had to trust God to keep Robert safe. To bring him back and to give her the strength to face whatever the future held.