37. Daniela

THIRTY-SEVEN

Daniela

T rying to use jealousy to get what I want has the opposite effect. Val freezes and hesitates before opening his mouth. Nothing comes out but a sigh and he sits up turning serious.

"I'm not some judgmental little cunt and I know you won't feel that way about everyone." I can feel the but coming without any reference to whatever it is he's going to say. "You've given your rules, I'll never be alone with a woman who isn't family. But I need you to be honest with me about any of your friends who you've been with or been attracted to."

I don't like mature Val, he's better when he's childish.

It's stupid as fuck that I feel shy discussing this part of myself. Tali asked a million questions and I never cared, even with Isabella it was fine. But it feels different with Val. Tracing his features with the pads of my fingers like I'm making a sculpture makes it easier to speak.

"I have to connect with someone mentally before anything physical. It's weird but it's just the way my brain and body work. "

I feel small as though it's a weakness. I can look at a person and find them visually appealing. If they don't have the same impact when my eyes are closed then it's forgotten.

Soft lips press into my fingertips and his smile touches them as my other hand follows.

"It's not weird, Dani. Like your books, you need to know your mind will get fucked as well as your body."

Maybe that's why I like assholes, they're all cocky shitheads and scratch that mental itch. I always thought I'd modelled my ideals on Val, his arrogant swagger and "don't give a fuck" attitude.

Focusing on his bone structure I get lost in the symmetry. He's so pretty, he would make a beautiful sculpture, all hard lines covered with softness and the apples of his cheek curve in a winding path pointing to his lips. Even his eye lashes are long and tickle my fingers, but he doesn't stop my hands moving.

I'm sat naked on his thighs, yet he's fully focused on my face. His hands don't move off my thighs and his voice is soft and coaxing.

"What you thinking about, Dani mine?"

I'm trying not to think but his question pulls all the shit memories forward.

"I always wanted an older brother, someone who would protect me."

Stopping myself from bringing up the reason why and how Carly tormented me for being a weirdo at every chance she got I wrap my arms around his neck and lay my head on his shoulder.

He strokes down my back and smiles. "What do you think Vlad is?"

If the scariest motherfuckers in history were lined up and I had to crown one the winner it would the eldest Vartanov. It's dumb when he smiles and laughs like a normal human but there's an undercurrent of violence in everything he does. Even when he'd pour cereal for us, there'd be this darkness lingering behind his eyes. It's in all of them. Tali is the only one who can mask his like it's less concentrated.

Stretching over the side of the bed while I examine the new tattoos on his chest, Val hands me a t-shirt and his voice stays that low soft comforting one.

"Arms up for me, rodnaya." Sitting back, I do what he says, and I'm rewarded with a kiss on my forehead before he explains, "Viktor always wakes up early, no kid needs to see their parents naked. "

I try to get up, but he tightens his hold as I look at the door expecting him to be there.I don't want the awkward conversations or to disrupt his life until we're 100% sure that whatever it is between us would actually work. He's a good kid and doesn't deserve instability.

Val offers his own secrets as he massages up my back. "That shit is worse than anything else I've seen. It's probably why Tali can watch horror movies with a smile on his face."

Getting comfortable on his shoulder, I trace his jaw line feeling the course hairs prick my finger and soaking every little thing up.

"What shit?"

He's usually loud about everything, his flirting, fighting, or fucking. It's all in the moment and never about his childhood.He cups my jaw tilting my face up and there's nothing but disgust in his voice.

"Len and Anika would fuck out in the open, they didn't care that we were sat there. I think they enjoyed the fact we could see them and it was always loud, louder than when they were alone."

That's weird and perverted. How could you even get off with literal children in the room? I'm glad I never met his parents with Tali always telling me to stay home and sneaking out to see me when they'd visit.

Valentin absentmindedly strokes my back, and he stares up at the ceiling. His face is void of any emotion and he opens up for once.

"I'm not like Tali who remembers everything from that house, and he obsesses over it by making up theories. It happened and we got the shit kicked out of us, but we're not there anymore, you know? Sometimes though, I can see myself becoming like Len. What if I have a shit day and take it out on Viktor?"

There's nothing but honesty in my voice as I kiss his cheek. "You're a good dad."

He's better than most I've witnessed. He's like tio, always supportive and present. I don't think Viktor could ever do anything that would have Val turning away from his son. Sliding down so he's laid on his back, he hugs me with one arm and puts the other under his head replaying memories.

"I was shit, trust me. The first night it was just the two of us, he wouldn't stop crying and I held him up begging him to stop." The small laugh is full of love, and he repeats the conversation. "I'll give you whatever you want if you stop, come on little man. Your diaper is fresh, you just ate, and I'm not going anywhere."

He pulls out a small leather photo case and blindly passes it to me as he continues with the memories. "I think I cried as much as he did, but he's a good kid, by some miracle."

Each page is filled with photos of Viktor. From him as a little baby with Tali holding him and Val stood in the background with nothing but fear on his face each birthday. It's all documented and seeing it in print highlights how young they all were.

There's one that shows each of their personalities clearly, even Dima is in it. Val only has on a pair of shorts, his knuckles are red and the lines of where his wraps were pressing into his skin show his fight hadn't finished that long ago. Viktor is sat on his shoulders with a pacifier in his mouth and a scowl directed at the camera. Tali is midway through eating a cookie dressed casually, with Vlad on their other side in the finest tailored suit. Dima's miserable face can't even lift into a smile, it looks more like a grimace, and his elbow is resting on Katya's head.

"How old is he in this?" I whisper as though anyone could possibly be disturbed.

His smile turns sad, and he strokes my nape with his thumb.

"Two, it was your birthday that day."

He's always had a shit memory; he shouldn't be able to recall an exact date a photo was taken. Going through the rest of the images we both fall silent letting out little laughs at the normal family he was able to provide amongst the chaos.

My laugh gets louder seeing Viktor hugging a bottle of vodka as he runs away from Vlad. His smile is huge and he's a little chunk. When he's happy none of Carly's features are evident other than the dimples. His happiness is all Vartanov, and his features reflect it. Mistaking my pause to mean something else Val grips my nape and pulls me up to look at him.

"He didn't drink it. I'm waiting until he hits double digits."

His joke is dumb as fuck. He wouldn't have nearly had a heart attack when Viktor fell off his horse if he was irresponsible.

He rests his forehead on mine as he strokes across my jaw with his knuckles and thumb. His lips touch mine, soft and gentle but filled with meaning. Forgetting what I was previously focused on I stroke down his abs feeling his muscles contract with each pass of my hand. My little finger brushes below his belly button and I'm stopped.

He threads his fingers through mine and says against my lips, "I'm doing it right this time." His lips dance across my cheek and he adds, "Giving you everything you deserve."

I deserve to be fucked, well. But he doesn't let go of my hand. Slowly turning me on my side, he holds my hands at the side of my head and tortures me with his lips.

My frustration is higher than usual with the lingering effects of the last time he left me wanting and it finds a home in my vocal cords.

"You can't do this again, Val please."

The bastard laughs and blows a raspberry on my neck before laying on his back. We both stare at the ceiling and I'm contemplating killing him while he's full of joy, the prick.

His stupid hand touches my chin and I try to slap it away, but he succeeds in tilting my face.

"I didn't let you come last time so use me, I won't even touch my dick."

He lets go of my face and pushes the sheet down off his hips before putting his hands behind his head. The asshole came on my back even if he quietly cleaned me up after, he still left me pent up with no release.

Getting payback, I straddle his hips and lean down kissing every part of his face but his lips. He holds my jaw stopping me and his voice is all soft like melted chocolate.

"Take your time khudozhnik moya, I'm not going anywhere."

All thoughts of torture leave my head. As though I need the reminder that he's staying and won't get sick of me.He combs my hair over my shoulder and threads his fingers through the strands above my ear as he pushes his head back to keep his other hand caged.

"You ruined me before you ever got your hands on me, Dani mine."

I melt instantly at the reverence in his voice and awe on his pretty face. He left his mark on me, but my body doesn't have the same force behind my climax to cover him. Sitting up on my knees, I tilt my hips and Val slowly looks down my body watching and waiting for what I'm going to do. His eyes move back up following the path of my body being uncovered as I lift the t-shirt over my head.

There's nothing obstructing the view between my thighs and the low groaned curse fuels me.

"Fuck, I fucked up."

Slowly pushing down, I widen my thighs and nearly combust with the heated blues and yellows staring at me. There's a lump in his throat and his breathing shallows.

"Such a beautiful pussy soaking my dick." A pained groan leaves him, and he tenses. "You don't know how hard it is not to move right now."

Rewarding his efforts, I slip down another inch on his dick and bite my lip to stop from moaning.He's trying so hard to keep still that his muscles are all tensed, each group defined and sculpted against his taut skin. I massage his chest and shoulders and use his hand to stroke up my body. He bites his cheek hard enough to pull it in, his fingers flex wanting to wrap around my throat as I move his hand to my neck and the pained sounds are muffled when I hold his thumb against my lips.

"Be a good boy," lust hardens my voice, "and help me come."

Flicking the pad of his thumb with my tongue, I close my lips around the digit and sink down the rest of the way.

I grind my hips to spell my own name as a whimper leaves him followed by a gust of air that has me smiling.

"Fuck baby, I'm sorry. I take it back, let me come."

My smile gets wider and twisted enjoying the anguish as I slowly shake my head. My silly little Valentin doesn't realize he's given me permission to fuck him up like he did to me.