31. Valentin

THIRTY-ONE

Valentin

A small foot kicks me in the face and I grab his ankle to stop Viktor from causing any more damage as he wriggles like a fish. I wince when his body twists, his knee getting dangerously close to my balls, and pretend to sniff his foot. Scrunching my nose up, I ask, "Did you shower? Your feet stink."

He rolls his eyes and wriggles until he's the right way up and has too much energy for first thing on a morning.

"Yeah, after I went in the pool," he says, laying his head beside mine on the pillow to look up at me. "Can you answer my question now?"

I was dumb as fuck as a kid, clearly not inheriting that trait from me, he's more mature than anyone else in the house and speaks far beyond his years.

"Jax said that everyone has a mom, but I don't have one."

Jax is a little dickhead that doesn't know what he's talking about.

Rather than curse out his new friend I pretend to be an adult. Speaking slowly to buy time for some magical answer, I ask, "Do you want one? "

It's a dumb question and his little brain even realizes it.

He sighs wearily and stares up deep in thought. I call him little man not because of his maturity, but due to him making me a man. Before Viktor I had one singular focus, Dani. I was a dumbass teenager not understanding the importance of shit beyond what I wanted. Just like he did when I first held him, he softened the blow of her absence in my life.

His sadness is palpable in the air, and he turns to me with big watery eyes, then whispers, "Did she think I was annoying?"

The dumb prick who thought they were clever bullying a kid doesn't even realize how much that one word has stuck to him. I sit up and gently pull him with me as I give him the truth.

"No, and you're not annoying." Before lying through my fucking teeth. "You had a mom, but she wasn't healthy and she couldn't take care of you. She loves you and she knows how clever you are, it's not because of you, okay?"

I wait with bated breath as I mask my features, hoping to fuck he doesn't ask anything more.

His smile is slow, and I know exactly what it means before he even utters a word — he's worked something out and feels smug. Wrecking me, he paints the dream I sold myself for years.

"Is it Dani? She's Brazilian and Vlad said I'm half Brazilian and I've never met anyone who is before." He sits up on his knees, each word a dagger scraping against my insides. "And she can paint, I like painting too."

The kid is killing me, I've been in fights less brutal than this.

I'd take a thousand death matches against the devil himself over having to crush his happiness. It's all Dani's fault. It's irrational as fuck to blame her but she could have been here, helped the lie become reality. She might not have given birth to him, but she's been more of a mother to him than Carly.A mop could also be more of a mother than that cunt, but the sentiment still counts.

I hold Viktor's shoulders to keep him still but he deflates before I've even spoken. His eyes avert, dropping to the sheets and color muted by his dark lashes.

"She's not your mom," I say weakly .

He throws himself forward, wrapping his arms around my neck. As much as I've missed him being younger and needing me, I hate the circumstances because he's hiding, and I rub circles on his back like he's still a baby. I take out my phone to relay the conversation to Dani, hoping it changes her mind. The only people whose opinions matter are in this bed and as soon as she understands that, all three of us will be happier. I'm tempted to ignore her feelings and kidnap her, chain her ass up so that Viktor's sadness leaves, but then I'll be forced to witness hers.

He stays attached to me and seems younger as I get us both ready for the day. He doesn't even leave me to brush his teeth and sits on the vanity with his eyes downcast as he lazily moves the toothbrush around his mouth. But he doesn't let me pick him up, instead he slips off the vanity to walk beside me with his shoulder stuck to my hip.

My usually happy kid is like a shell as we go down the stairs and walk into the kitchen. Viktor's steps falter when he sees Dani sat opposite Tali and looks up at me, he doesn't say anything to her and gives her a tight lipped smile before quickly looking away. She spent the night, stayed in his fucking bed instead of with me. Due to our conversation or sensing my mood, my son stays by my side. He doesn't let Tali drag him into their usual arguing which is weird as fuck.

Tali lowers his voice and drops the bullshit as he turns serious; a rarity for him.

"Vik, you good?"

He nods his head while looking at his feet and my chest aches. He's not a sad kid, it's rare he gets upset and I force out an excuse.

"He's not feeling well."

Tali drags his ass up and comes to stand in front of us as I pull the pancakes out. They usually make Viktor happy, and I even go through the effort of making it look like I haven't just dumped them on the plate as his uncle tries to cheer him up.

"Movies and ice cream?" Tali ruffles his hair, "I'll let you pick whatever you want to watch."

His little hand moves, blindly grabbing the hem of my shorts and his voice is small in response as he shakes his head. "No, I want to stay with my dad. "

Tali hardens at the change in his demeanor and I shake my head, telling him to drop it. Ruffling Viktor's hair, he tilts his head to catch his eyes and says with authority, "We're Vartanovs, remember?"

Leaving off the final bit, he gets a small smile and walks away.

Viktor continues ignoring Dani as he chooses to sit at the island rather than the nook to eat his breakfast. The back of my head heats and cools with her gaze oscillating but she doesn't say anything. She didn't even respond to my message, she's content on cutting me out of her life like I don't exist, and my dick wasn't inside her twelve hours ago.

Her soft footsteps come closer, my shoulders tensing in anticipation and my entire body relaxes when she gently touches my arm to get my attention. I don't turn around and stare at the wall as Viktor keeps eating. She squeezes my bicep harder which is incentive for me not to turn, she'll drop her hand as soon as she has my attention and I like her touching me. The innocent touches are the best, they always have been because she'd blush.

Everyone goes rigid as two pairs of shoes tap against the floor. It's not because of who they belong to but Viktor's anger as he whips his head to the side staring Vlad out. Dani moves closer to him protectively but he's single minded in whatever the fuck has happened. I join my son's side without any information and Vlad's brows come together. He does that annoying as fuck thing where he says a name without anything else.

"Viktor."

The chair screeches against the tile as Viktor pushes back hissing, "I hate you. You're a stupid liar."

I stand with him, attempting to keep him back because Vlad is a psycho, but he'll never raise his hand to my kid, and if he goes too far with his mouth, I'll kill him.

"Office," Vlad says, "now."

The deadly tone doesn't even make Viktor flinch and he hardens, becoming more violent than anyone else despite being the youngest.

"No," he snaps, "I'm a Vartanov and we do whatever we want." Pride fills me at his strength as he squares up to a grown ass man with more blood on his hands than anyone else I know. With that strength still in his voice he meets Vlad's eyes as he says, "And I don't want to talk to a liar. "

Everyone stops breathing as they stare at each other, but Viktor doesn't say anything more. His breathing escalates and he's trying not to cry. This fucking prick is making my kid cry.

Before I can say shit he storms away, seething, "I wish we never moved."

I go to follow him when the dickhead says, "Let him cool down."

"The fuck did you say to him?" I glare back, ready to kill the man who raised me.

Tali pats my shoulder and offers, "I'll go, he'll be with the horses."

Swiping a box of sugar cubes, he fucks off and I'm stuck with a raging prick as I wait for an explanation.

"He inherited those tantrums from you," Vlad says, disguising his worry as he adjusts his cuffs three times.

Asshole.

Inessa is the sister-in-law from heaven as she comes to my defense. "That wasn't a tantrum," she looks at her dickhead husband, "you hurt him, Vlad."

I deflate into the seat as I admit, "He asked why he doesn't have a mom."

The air is sucked out of the room and Vlad looks over my shoulder before fixing back on me. Doing the same, Dani is still stood there with her head down, ashamed, and her shoulders hunched forward trying to make herself smaller.

"Did you tell him the truth?" Vlad asks.

His question is stupid as fuck and my scoff should be answer enough but I verbalize it with too much emotion.

"Yeah, I told him she's a fucking crackhead who sold him for her next hit."

Inessa joins my team of anger and clenches her jaw before leaving to go find Viktor and make sure he's okay. She's gained me as her number one supporter from now on, whatever she needs is hers.

Vlad doesn't say anything, and nods before hiding away in his office. A sniffle gets my attention, but I'm too pissed to give any comfort and snap, "Don't you fucking dare get upset when it's your fucking fault."

Dani flinches at my irrationality but I can't stop and close the distance between us. I nearly burst at the smell of Tali's cologne on her skin as I lean down .

"I had to crush his hope when he asked if you're his mom, you don't get to cry like you give a fuck now."

Her face is like a rollercoaster of emotion, lips lifting into a smile then dropping before anger, pain, and resentment flash through her dark eyes, until she finally settles on hurt. Her voice is small, brushing my neck at the same time as her hands on my bare chest as she whispers, "I wish I was too."

Cupping the back of her head, I pull her closer, hating everything. I can't hate Dani, though I want to, but my stupid heart belongs to her, and it can never hold onto it. I hold her tighter, pressing my wish into the top of her head, "You can be."

All she has to do is not think about other people, focus on me like I do with her. Yet, she ignores me and looks up, wiping her tears away.

"Does he not like me anymore?"

How the fuck are they both the same?

She has the same big eyes that Viktor does, different hues and different features, but it invokes the same gut wrenching agony in me when I don't have an answer. He hasn't said anything to suggest he does, but he ignored her, and I won't force him to do shit he doesn't want to do.I wouldn't even force him to speak to me if he was pissed at me.

Rather than lie, I take her hand and pull her with me. It feels right in mine, her warmth seeping into my palm and I stroke the back of her hand with my thumb. She twists her hand away as we step outside and walk toward the stables, she never lets me have any peace for fuck's sake.

Tali and Inessa have managed to help Viktor calm down, but he still doesn't meet Dani's eyes as he focuses on making patterns on his horses coat with the brush and the other two leave. Dani is braver than me and breaks the silence, as she goes to his side, asking, "Can you show me how to brush it?"

Nodding his head, he hands her what she needs, being careful not to touch her and steps closer to me as he instructs her on what his horse likes."Don't do it near his ears, or his right leg. And do it in this direction because the other one makes his ears twitch."

When the awkwardness gets too much for her, she turns and squats down so they're the same height. Her voice is soft, matching her smile as she says, "You know you're a very special boy?" He finally looks at her and I'm transfixed on her beauty. "If you don't want to talk to me, you don't have to. I can go outside if it will make you feel better."

I hold his shoulder waiting for an answer and he comes back to life as he smiles normally. He's still clingy and attached to my side but he doesn't ignore her and practices his Portuguese while they pamper Thunder. I should learn more than a few words, so I know what they're talking about, but it's all broken and shit when I try.

Dani takes her phone out, flicking through old photos as they revert back to speaking English.

"Yeah I think I've got a photo of Tali when we were younger, your dad might be in it too."

There are countless images throughout our childhood, her and Tali with their arms wrapped around each other while I'm stood in the background. Viktor flicks though them, then pauses on the photo of Dani's family. His brows slowly come together and he zooms in, focusing on Carly's face. I'm about to rip it from his hand and set the thing on fire when he looks up and asks her, "Who's that? I've seen her at school."

That fucking cunt.

There's no defense for her sister, Dani is pissed while I pick Viktor up and stand him on the bench.

"What did she say to you?"

His frown deepens but he doesn't ask any questions as he relays his interaction with the bitch.

"Nothing, she keeps staring at me."

Not past tense.

"Who is she?" He looks at Dani, then back to me, so fucking innocent as he adds, "Is she your friend?"

I'm plotting her murder as Dani comes to my side with ease. "That woman isn't a nice person, if she ever comes near you again, you have to tell someone straight away, okay?"

He nods his head, and she gives him a smile as she pushes against my bicep to get me to move.

I can't walk away. I need to split myself in two, so he's protected while I kill her. She does it again with more force and keeps her tone light, instructing Viktor to stay inside while we talk .

"Why don't you get your horse ready while I talk to your dad then you can show me the new tricks you've learnt?"

She walks us far enough away that he won't hear anything, but I can still watch him, and lowers her voice giving me everything I need. "I know where she's staying."