Chapter 7

Sera

The slight achiness tells me I'm awake but I can't believe I'm not still in a wonderful dream. Cozied up under the covers with my head on Alexei's chest, his arm curled around my shoulder. I can hear his heart beating a slow, rhythmic tempo under my ear and feel his soft breath fluttering in my hair.

I smile against Alexei's skin and try not to shiver with the rush of memories of last night. The way he was so patient and yet so voracious. And oh my God, everything felt so, so good.

I want to wake him with kisses, boldly reach for his cock, but based on the bright light streaming through the windows, it has to be late morning, maybe even afternoon. Reality hits me in the face like a shovel and I flinch, instantly stilling so I don't wake Alexei.

Because I have to face my phone, and all the messages from my father that I know are waiting. As a tiny act of defiance, I left it in my room when we went out last night, pretending I didn't care what he thought of the information I sent him. Trying to pretend I was really a new bride out for a date night with her husband. But it was always looming in the background, like the ever present waiters, only with malicious intent instead of fresh bread.

When we got home and Alexei made that heart-rending speech, everything faded except for him. When I lost my mind and kissed him, that's when I entered this wonderful dream.

Well, I'm wide awake now and starting to sweat from anxiety. I'll just slip out of bed and put Papa off for a little while longer, then scamper back here to work through more of Alexei's list. Easing out from under his arm, I roll to the floor, poking my head up like a groundhog to see he hasn't stirred.

He's so beautiful, with his grumpy brows relaxed in sleep. He almost looks as sweet as he truly is. Those lips I can't get enough of are slightly parted and when I rolled away, I pulled half the blankets with me so I have a full view of his muscular chest. The urge to trace the dark lines of the dragon tattoo that spills over his shoulder and onto his biceps is so strong I have to grip my right hand with my left to keep it down. I don't dare cover him up again and tiptoe to my room—is it still my room?

If Alexei finds out the truth of why I married him, will this still be my home? I need to figure out what I'm going to do, but for the moment, all I do is whip on a robe and dig my phone out of the bedside table drawer.

No sooner than it's turned on, notifications start to flood in. Missed calls and voicemails. The texts are increasingly threatening. Papa doesn't like what I've sent him. He may even know it's a lie since he's clearly been spying on me. I click the first voicemail from him and take a step back at the rage in his tone.

"This is nothing, Seraphina. I'm more than disappointed. Meet me for breakfast tomorrow at the compound so I can determine where we go next."

Shit, shit, shit. It's past noon. He'll think I ditched him on purpose. New messages are pinging through from him, wanting to know when I'm going to face him. Um, never? Except, of course, I'll have to face him, and soon, or he'll cut me off and I'll be nothing more than an enemy to be exterminated.

I swipe away the texts and ignore Papa's missed calls to me, but then my phone starts to vibrate with a new call coming in from Leo and, against my better judgment, I answer it.

"Where the fuck are you?" he hisses.

I glance at the bedroom door. "I'm sorry. I have a little bit of a cold. I slept late. I'm sorry."

My brother sighs, long and loud. "Papa's beyond pissed. I can't talk him down off the edge. I think you might need to take a vacation. Far away, and for a long time."

I don't answer Leo because my bedroom door opens and Alexei steps in, rumpled and adorable and heartbreaking in his bathrobe that's open to his waist. His smile fades when he sees me—I'm sure I look like I've just been issued a death sentence. I mean, it's only a matter of time if Leo is already telling me to get out of town.

"What's wrong?" Alexei rushes to me and takes my shoulders, searching my face. I look down at my phone and quickly end the call. "God, Sera, tell me what happened." He pries the phone out of my shaky grip and I want to throw up because I haven't locked the screen yet. "Leo called? What did your brother want?"

Now he looks suspicious. I can't open my mouth because I realize I can't lie to him. And it's too late because he's already scrolling through all the messages. His brow furrows as he keeps reading. When he finally looks up at me, his dark eyes are cold, devoid of any of the passion from last night, empty of anything at all.

"This was your part of the marriage bargain?" he asks stonily. "To give them information on me?"

"Yes," I answer, forcing myself to stay upright. "In exchange for the chance to cut ties with them and go to nursing school."

"Ah, so there was an expiration date?"

I nod miserably. "A year." I can't take his icy glare anymore and reach for him, but a short shake of his head makes me drop my hand. "I tried ignoring them and putting them off, but they're following me now."

He swears under his breath as he holds out my phone to show me my last message to Papa on the screen. I had told him that I tried to get into Alexei's home computer but couldn't figure out the password.

"No," I say to my husband. "That's a lie. I had to give him something, so I lied. I never went into your office when you weren't there."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Why? Why risk lying to your father and give up your big dreams?"

Tears roll down my cheeks and I wipe at them and my voice hitches on a sob. "Because I don't want to betray you. You're a good man. I never knew what that meant until I got to know you. I want to be on your side." I reach for him again but his shoulder is stiff under my palm. "I am on your side."

He stares down at me for a long moment, his jaw twitching with tension, then takes my hand off his shoulder and gives me back my phone. Turns on his heel and walks away.

I follow on his heels like a pathetic puppy, but he pays me no mind. Back in his room, he storms into his walk-in closet and slams the door behind himself. I pace for a few minutes, finally turning my phone off so I don't have to hear the incessant calls and messages that keep coming in. I should be panicking about the hit that's probably already been ordered on me, but all I want is for Alexei to tell me he believes me and that he understands.

He comes out, dressed in a navy business suit and crisp white shirt, as if he's just going to inspect his bars and restaurants. Maybe he is, because he doesn't give me a single glance as he strides out of the room. A moment later I hear the front door slam.

He's gone.

He's left me alone.

As foolish as it was to expect him to stick to what he proclaimed last night, I'd still had hope. That he was loyal to me. That he'd stay by my side.

And now I'm alone instead.

I should be packing, getting the hell out of here, but where could I go that Papa wouldn't find me? I can't do this by myself, and even though my impending death sentence should be at the very front of my thoughts, all I can do is stare at the place where Alexei had been a few moments before.

All I can do is wish him back, wish I'd never gotten out of bed, wish I'd never been born, because I'd have to go back that far to untangle this sordid mess.

Most of all I wish he'd never said those wonderful things to me, never been the man I couldn't have dreamed existed. Wish he'd never shown me such tenderness and loving kindness. Because now that I know what that's like and it's been ripped away from me, never to return, I might as well be dead.

I collapse on his bed, sobbing at what I've lost. When I take a shuddering breath and smell him on the pillows, it feels like my chest is being crushed in a vice, each rib stabbing into my heart.

"Alexei," I say, as if that will bring him back.

Making it worse for myself, I hug his pillow tight to my body and drench it with tears, wishing it was his chest I was crying into, but knowing deep in my trampled heart that those days are over.

Before they really began.

And now I'm alone.