16

16

STACEY

When Luciella lands, Barry sends a car to pick her up, and she arrives at the manor in a state of confusion. She glances around all the extra bodyguards, ones with guns and riot gear, and the black SUVs lined up at the front entrance.

I feel Aria move to stand beside me, offering her silent support as I prepare to tell my story.

“What’s going on?” Luciella asks, but before I can say anything, Tylar appears at the front door with Kyle trailing behind.

He said he’d pick her up on the way, and it’s just typical everyone arrives at the same time. So it looks like I’m going to be doing this now. I kind of wanted to give Lu a heads-up on the subject first, but might as well rip off the Band-Aid and get this over with.

“Can we all sit at the dining table? Or in your office?” I ask Aria.

“My office. I’ll have sandwiches and drinks brought up.”

Luciella frowns. “Is anyone going to tell me what’s happening?”

“I will,” I say. “Come on.”

The walk to Aria’s office is the longest walk of my life. I can’t look at anyone, can’t breathe properly, silently begging that this goes smoothly. Tobias knows small details about Chris, but the only other person I’ve told is my dad, who threw it all back in my face.

Barry asks me every day what happened, but whenever I try to formulate actual words, I fall apart and cry – but I think he has an idea. I apparently blurted out that my stepbrother beat me after murdering three people in cold blood.

Forgetting that night is impossible – I see their faces in my dreams. Sometimes, they turn into nightmares, and I don’t fight back. No one comes for me – only Chris once everyone else is done with me.

I shiver and blow out a shaky breath. Maybe I’ll feel better and will sleep properly once Chris is found.

This will be the first time I tell everyone the full truth. The reason for my lies. My secret stepbrother, the catastrophic abuse, my pregnancy loss and rape, and finally, the whirlwind romance I had with my best friend’s brother. My only normality and what kept me going.

Nervous isn’t the word I would use, but I am nervous as hell.

This could go in so many directions. What if they don’t believe me like my dad didn’t? What if Kyle takes his brother’s side after hearing everything? Barry told him Chris hit me, that he sold me to his friends the night Barry got me to the manor. He was furious, both with his brother and himself, but everything else his brother did to me is still locked in my mind.

I sit, my hands fidgeting under the desk – Tylar is on my right, and Luciella leans against the windowsill, arms folded, still lost. Aria and Barry sit beside Kyle, opposite me.

Everyone stays quiet while I try to explain everything. I start with Kade – how we started sneaking around, falling into a cycle of seeing each other when we could. I keep glancing at Lu – she’s not looking at me. But she’s listening.

“I realised when we were in Greece that what we had was dangerous. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but there were so many roadblocks.”

“You went to Greece too?” Kyle asks. “How ‘together’ were you?”

“He was my boyfriend for nearly a year.” I shrug. “We went to a lot of places. Going away meant we didn’t need to hide.”

“Then what happened?” Tylar asks. “Did you love him?”

I take a deep breath and tell them some more, and all the while Luciella stays silent, staring at her shoes. She nods at some parts, shakes her head at others and then finally, she lifts her head. “Why would you lie to me? What harm would it have done if you’d just told me you had a thing with my brother?”

Tylar snaps her head in Lu’s direction. “It was more than just a thing. And she was scared her brother would find out!”

Lu shakes her head again. “So you used me as an excuse to stay quiet.”

“No,” I reply. “You told us to stay away from Kade and his friends. You even made Tylar break up with Dez!”

“Because I was worried about our friendship! Which obviously needs re-evaluated if you need to keep such a thing from me! You even lied that you only had one brother – not two! Who does that?”

My eyes water as I stare at her. “My brother has been abusing me since I was fourteen years old. He would sneak into my room and touch himself, make me touch myself and he recorded it. He’d barge into my shower when I was a minor and watch me. He sold me to his friends, hit me and controlled everything I did.”

I pull down the front of my top, enough to reveal the scar he left with the key. “I have scars all over me. All in hidden places. He’s sick. He killed someone in front of me because I refused to kiss him, and then made me touch him, repeatedly, every single fucking night when I went to bed so he’d stay away from Kade – he would sleep naked beside me and force me to make him—” I stop, lowering my head as my voice breaks. “He is a monster.”

Kyle lowers his head in shame. “Fuck.”

“I’m so sorry, Stacey,” Tylar says. “I wish you’d told us, so we could’ve helped you.”

“I went to the police, and he managed to fuck that up too. They thought I was mentally deranged and in need of psychiatric help. Even Nora took his side.”

“If my mum knew the truth, she would have kicked him out.”

“I told my dad,” I say, glancing at Kyle, who’s looking at me like he’s seen a ghost. “I told him the things Chris used to do to me, but he called me an attention-seeker. I begged him to help me. Begged. And he said I was a hormonal teenager who needed mental help.”

“Stacey…” Kyle trails off, shaking his head as his lips tremble. “I’m sorry. I should’ve protected you.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Chris acted like the loving big brother around you all, but he was the devil behind closed doors. I told the one person who should’ve protected me and he… he didn’t believe me.” I wipe under my eyes. “He looked at me differently after that, treated me like I was a brat… I was slowly losing my dad. How could I tell someone else? I’d risk losing them too.”

“I can’t believe your dad didn’t listen,” Tylar sneers. “If he was alive, I’d smack him.”

Aria is hugging herself, her eyes wet. “No one should ever go through that. Your father should’ve protected you. I’m sorry he failed you, sweetheart, but we won’t. You have us now. You have all of us around you. If you want him arrested, tell me, and I’ll arrange it.”

“I don’t want him arrested; I want him dead.” My words are solid, I don’t even hesitate. “I want him dead.” I look around me, at everyone on my side. “He doesn’t deserve to live after everything he did to me. And I highly doubt I’m the only one.”

She nods. “I understand.” I know she does. She probably understands the most out of everyone here.

“His girlfriend left him because he said he was in love with someone else.” Kyle runs his hands through his hair. “She slapped him in front of me and told him he was sick.”

Tylar gulps. “I should have noticed the bruises. Me and Luciella had no idea.”

Luciella has been silent the entire time, but then says, “I asked you, and you said you fell. Another lie.”

“She had no choice, Lu!” Tylar snaps at her. “Have you listened to a word she’s said? She was forced into silence!”

“Please don’t argue. I lied to you both. I’m to blame.”

Kyle places his hand over mine. “Don’t,” he says, a tear sliding down his cheek. “Don’t you dare say that. You are not to blame for that asshole’s actions. I lived in the same fucking house as him, and I… I… Fuck, Stacey. I’m such a shitty big brother.”

“I lied to you too.”

“I thought he was just possessive of you because he always wanted a little sister. I had no idea he was… doing that. Mum needs to know the truth. I’ll call her and make her understand.”

Tylar takes my other hand. “You have us, Stacey. You have us.”

“There’s something else.” I hesitate for a second, my chest tightening. “I was pregnant,” I blurt out, and everyone looks at me. Aria just lowers her head. “A daughter. I was sixteen weeks pregnant, and when Chris found the ultrasound picture, he beat me so badly, I lost her.” I shake, my eyes burning. “I lost our daughter, and then—” I stop, unable to keep going. I lost Kade and then my father.

Tylar hugs me, and Luciella swipes under her eyes with her sleeve then walks around the desk, and I let out a sob as she wraps her arms around me from behind. “I wish you’d told me. I’m so sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t. No one should go through that alone.”

“I couldn’t even tell Kade the truth,” I cry. “I said I fell down the studio stairs. I lied to him too. I always lie. Always.”

Everyone holds me, and the room is filled with sniffs, shaky breaths and whispers of “Sorry” and “We have you” and “We love you”.

Tylar, Kyle, Barry and Aria leave us, because I still have to tell Luciella the rest of me and Kade’s story. She needs to know all of it – I want to tell her.

She cries when I tell her how we found out we were going to have a baby, that we nearly got to the halfway point before disaster struck. She sobs when I tell her how me and Kade split up, and she declares war on Chris when I tell her the real reason for Kade’s strained relationship with everyone.

“When was the last time you were with with him?”

I chew my lip. “When we went to America.”

Her eyes widen. “That recent?”

I nod. “We didn’t speak for two years, but… It just happened again.” I leave out the part about Kade rushing me out of the country, or any information about the Sawyers. Barry gave me strict commands that I’d be risking all their lives by telling them, and since Barry has told me some of the ways Kade had been punished, I do as I’m told.

I’m the best friend ever, aren’t I? All I can ever do is lie and keep secrets.

Maybe I should disappear.

“Please promise me you won’t go to him again.” Lu takes my hand. “And I’m not saying that because he’s my brother. He’s not emotionally stable – he’s in such a bad place right now. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s so different, and I need you to promise me that you and Kade are done. He can’t give you what you need. He’ll break your heart all over again.”

“I can’t promise that.”

“Kade doesn’t even know how to love properly. He’s… so like my dad it’s scary.”

“He knows how to love,” I say, starting to get annoyed. “He might have some of your dad’s traits, but he’s his own person, and he loved me.”

“It’s not real. It’s a learned emotion. He taught himself how to feel things he couldn’t, but it’s not the same.”

“I’d take any type of love from him,” I snap, pulling my hand from hers and pushing my chair back. “You can’t make me stop loving him either.”

“If you love him, truly love him, then let him go. Please,” she begs me, and my anger ebbs. She’s genuinely worried about him. “He needs to come to his senses and work on himself. He won’t make you happy. I’m saying this as your best friend, he will not make you happy, and I need you to heal.”

I manage a nod, but my heart eats away at itself.

“Please don’t lie to me again, Stacey.”

Barry’s offer to make me vanish is becoming more and more appealing as the hours tick forward.

Kade is in France, Chris is a ghost, and when Tylar and Luciella aren’t around me, all I can think about is Barry’s offer.

If I disappeared, could I live a normal life?

It’s been five weeks and four days of constant worrying, feeling sick with anxiety that Chris will appear and blow everything up.

I’m sitting at the dining table with Ty and Luciella while Aria goes through her list of things that need to be done while she’s away. Tobias passed his evaluation after his prolonged stay in solitary confinement, meaning he’s allowed to have visitors again. So Aria and Ewan will fly over for the weekend so she can log a huge-ass complaint about him being put there in the first place for no good reason.

“How many people did you invite to the party tonight?” Aria asks her daughter, who shrugs a shoulder. “Tylar?”

Ty smiles through her spoonful of cereal. “Don’t worry – not too many.”

She sighs. “When you say not to worry, I worry more. I can’t exactly say no. My girls only turn twenty-two once.” She pinches Luciella’s cheek then grins at me.

“I promise it’ll be a small gathering,” Tylar informs her in a tone that instantly reveals she’s talking crap.

Aria gives her a sceptical look. “That explains the aerial hoops set up in the ballroom, and the strobe lights, and the garage crowded with alcohol. I mean it. Don’t break anything, and if I find out anyone has been in my room, you’ll all be kicked out!”

“I don’t even stay here,” Ty replies. “How can I be kicked out?”

“For the last month, you’ve been here every day, and you claimed one of the spare rooms as your own years ago.” Aria pops her passport and money into her bag.

“I’ll call you when I land, honey,” she says to Lu, kissing her cheek, and then mine and Tylar’s. “Don’t do anything I wou—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lu interrupts. “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do. Do you forget we’ve read the articles? Does that mean I can have babies with a psychopath, stab someone eighteen times and sleep with someone I work with?”

Hands to her hips, she spins to face her daughter. “Luciella Mitchell! That’s enough!”

All three of us burst into giggles. Tylar chokes on her cereal.

Aria’s best friend was killed by someone called Justin, the deceased sidekick of Tobias, and she retaliated by driving a blade into him multiple times. Tobias took the blame, but we all know the truth. No matter how much she fights us on it. Her story has changed far too many times, and even Ewan gave us a nod behind her back once.

Aria rolls her eyes and leaves the kitchen, one of her own bodyguards following to drive her and Ewan to the airport hotel.

Tylar gets to her feet. “I’m going for a swim in your indoor pool. Who’s joining?”

“I’m going to walk the dogs,” I say, turning to Luciella. “Do you want to come?”

We’ve been normal – but there is a strain between us. She doesn’t trust me, and I’m worried our friendship might be ruined.

“Sure.”

Milo growls at Luciella as she walks towards him with the personalised leather harness Kade had made in Paris. She freezes and turns to Hopper with his harness instead, but he also growls. “Nope.” She drops the harnesses. “Fuck this. They’re going to eat me.”

I smirk as I lift the harnesses and both Milo and Hopper run to me to get them on. They lick my hands and face while I clip them and sit nicely while I hook their leads. They’re good dogs, they really are, but they also have Kade as an owner. He trained them to be protective of the family, but Lu never bothered with them before and was always away studying, so she didn’t build a bond like the rest of us.

Lu stares at me as I pat both dogs, scratching behind their ears. “They really do belong to you and Kade. I never noticed before how attached they were to you. I… I still can’t believe you kept this all from me.”

I chew my lip. “Will you ever forgive me?”

She gives me a tight smile. “I don’t blame you for falling for my brother; I just hate how sneaky you were about it. I… I want to trust you. I love you. You’re my best friend, but I think it’s going to take me a while. Can you be patient with me?”

I nod. “I am sorry.” Not for falling for Kade but for lying. “I asked Kade to stay quiet about it, but it was mainly so Chris didn’t find out.”

She sighs and holds her hand out. “As long as I’m still your favourite twin.”

“Always.”

Milo and Hopper stand in front of me, and I reach out to hand a leash to her, but when she goes to take a step in my direction, Milo barks, and she jumps back.

“Nope! No. I’m not doing this. I’m going to get our costumes ready for tonight.”

I laugh as she rushes away from the dogs.

Barry rises from his seat at the breakfast bar. “I have some news. And I don’t think you’ll like it.”

“Tell me.”

While walking with me through the grounds, the dogs running rings around us, he shows me a photo on his phone – Kade with his hood up, smoking a joint by a jet, waiting for a car. Beside him is a young blonde girl, but I can’t see her face.

“Mr Mitchell was spotted coming off a jet this morning at Edinburgh Airport. He’s standing with Cassie Sawyer – the daughter.”

“Why wouldn’t I like that news? Isn’t it good that he’s back in Scotland?”

He hesitates, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so worried. “I managed to access a file on her database undetected. Kade wasn’t doing his usual work in France. He was tortured so badly that his sanity was reported to be questionable, and it was recommended he be allowed to rest.”

I blanch. “Oh.” I gulp. “Is he… okay?”

Barry hums. “He’s quite resilient to their torture methods. He’s gone through worse, but I’m concerned. It says on the file that he may struggle, especially with having ASPD. He’ll most likely experience dream-reality confusion.”

“What can we do to help him?”

“He’ll reach out soon, and I guess we’ll see. I need to go home for a bit, as Lisa’s due any day now, but I have on extra security. Will you feel safe enough?”

I try to smile. “You’re about to have a baby, Barry. Don’t worry about me. Go home to Lisa and have some time off. You deserve it. Chris is nowhere near us, and even if he was, he has no chance of getting past the manor’s security.”

“Did you think some more about what I said?”

I shrug. “Yeah, but Kade might need me.”

“Miss Rhodes, Kade isn’t going to have his freedom anytime soon. He’ll get a few days off and then he’ll leave again. Him needing you is dangerous for you both.”

I nod, because I think he’s right, even though I wish he wasn’t.