45. Dima

FORTY-FIVE

Dima

T here's a wild energy behind Ana's eyes. Or Vanya, fuck I don't even know what the fuck to call her in my own head, but it doesn't diminish who she is. I try to get her to eat and she ignores the food in favor of filling herself up on answers.

"Do you think he loved me?" she asks.

Vlad has never controlled himself before, he doesn't allow anyone to point a gun at him and live. The bastard doesn't even have emotions like a normal person, it's all sarcastic rage, but he was grieving in front of her eyes and begging for the first time in his life which can't be denied.

Turning her chair to face me, I brush her hair over her shoulder and nod. "I think he did, but this is all confusing and you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Her mind is working on something else, and she doesn't take in the words. There's a sinking in my gut, knowing she's retreating mentally, it intensifies when she looks over my shoulder to the clock on the wall before coming back to me with determination.

I'm trying to work out what she's going to do when my sweet hellion stands and wraps her arms around me. She kisses my cheek and whispers with a finality I fucking hate.

"You're my favorite person, please don't hate me."

My mouth opens to tell her it's not possible, but she moves back and turns into the killer as she kicks the chair out from under me and catches my body with her arm banded around my neck.

She's choking me out.

I drop my weight down to free myself but she's being powered with more than her physical strength. My body isn't reacting like it should either, I could easily shake her off usually, but my arms are too heavy to lift as she tearfully whispers, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you."

My tongue fills with the same weight as my limbs, unable to move to tell her to fucking stop, that I didn't lie to her, but she speaks over my mumbled attempts.

"I'll keep you safe once it's over, I promise."

What the fuck is she talking about? It's my job to protect her. The arm around my throat stays in place, holding me up and waiting as she kisses my crown.

I'm trying to speak, to scream, and tell her to fucking stop but nothing comes out. It's useless, a mumble, and my hellion presses her lips to my forehead as she lays me down and black dots dance in my vision.

"I trust you, no one else." She kisses my forehead again as she sits on the cold floor and lays my head on her lap. "My favorite person. I'm sorry, Dima, but she can't melt you."

What the fuck is with the cryptic shit?

My mind fights to move my limbs but they don't even twitch as she continues her haunted whispering.

"You're better than the bouncy ball, the sticker, all of it, and she'll know. She'll hurt you and take you away."

There's a pained sniffle as I try to lift my arm.

"Don't fight it, Dima, sleep then I might come back. Okay?"

I'm a fucking prisoner in my own body and I can't move as a tear rolls down her cheek, splashing onto mine as she strokes my face and promises everything but fucking staying here.

"I'm sorry. You're my favorite person and I can't let you get hurt. She'll melt you and I'll have to watch again. Don't hate me, please. I'm sorry." My hellion sniffles and continues kissing my forehead while breaking my heart. "It's okay, you'll be safe, if I come back, I promise to make it better. To never hurt you again. Dima, I'm sorry for not being a person, for not being real and tricking you."

Everything goes black, my senses cutting off with her apology being the last thing I hear.

People are talking. Two hushed voices and neither of them belong to my woman. I sit up before I've opened my eyes and I'm not on the floor. The sofa is under me, and I look around the room, searching the space for my hellion, but Val and Tali are uselessly standing opposite me. Val's holding a blanket that's missing a corner with Tali next to him, and all of us ask the same question.

"Where is she?"

Whatever the fuck she drugged me with is out of my system and there's an IV in my arm. I pull it out without any care for the vein it's in and go through the house, searching every room for my fucking life.

She's not in the gym but she only ever goes in there when I am, it's part of her routine while listening to her book because my woman thinks it's boring unless she has an opponent and I refused to spar with her.

The kitchen is fucking empty, but I open cupboards like she's suddenly become a contortionist and hidden in them.

The staircase shakes as I take the steps two at a time and I don't even know which fucking name to call out. So, I do them all.

"Ana?"

No answer.

"Vanya?"

No answer.

"B?"

Pain splinters my chest as all the rooms are empty, untouched, and she's not sat on the roof. Her bag isn't fucking here but her stickers are still in the closet, the boxes taped and untouched. Checking to see if a car is missing reveals nothing. She's too fucking clever, knowing I'd track it, and her phone is on the kitchen island. There's nothing for me to fucking find her.

Val moves behind me as I invade her privacy and check her call logs.

"She told me to come here. There were some instructions to make sure you were okay and a bag of fluids."

Fuck his explanation.

"Get the fuck away from me, Valentin," I grit.

In what fucking world would I be okay when my life has disappeared. I don't give a fuck that she drugged me as long as she was here when I opened my eyes with a smile on her face and a laugh in her eyes. That's how it should be. Not this fucking shit that's worse than death.

The name at the top of her message thread has rage burning through me as the dumb fuck asks, "Who's Amon?"

Ana:

I want the address

Amon:

She's landing in LaGuardia in two hours

Don't tell anyone else

You'll have one hour alone. Use it wisely.

She. Yulia. My hellion has gone alone to the one person who has done everything but kill her. Checking the time shows that the bitch has already landed, and I move without any fucking destination. Her brothers, uncles, whatever the fuck they are, say something, but I don't hear it. She went to that fucking cunt on her own, the bitch tortured her for years and now Yulia's going to have my fucking life in her clutches.

Vlad's call comes through as I drive for my life. My hand moves with the conditioning of always answering despite not wanting to.

He hesitates and flows between anger and sadness as he says, "I don't know if she'll answer my calls, but Yulia will be here in an hour. If she wants to be there, I'll send you the location."

The dumb fuck doesn't know.

I sound hysterical and wince at the pain in my own voice.

"She's left already. Where is she?"

Everything on the other end of the phone pauses while I leave no traffic offence unbroken and nearly get myself killed, racing in the direction of the airport.

"The abandoned camp near LaGuardia, main house."

The deadly tone doesn't even penetrate my skull because I fucking need her, I need her with me at all fucking times and I'm going to cuff her to me as soon as I see her.

Twenty minutes and I'll be there. Fuck, I'll do it in ten.

"If you let her get hurt, I will keep you alive to feed parts of your own fucking body to you."

His threats come out and I cut them off, not giving a fuck.

"Fuck you, I'm doing this for her. Not you. You fucked up and let her be with them cunts the first time, I'm not making that mistake."

I end the call as I focus on my woman and the world blurs beyond the windows. She has to be safe; I don't give a fuck what she does as long as she's safe. She'll most likely be playing with their body parts and making heartbeat noises but I can't stop every cell in my DNA itching without the knowledge that she's safe.

"She'll be torturing them," I lie to myself. "She's crazy, violent, capable." I nod, pushing my foot down even further when it's already touching the floor. "Strong, clever, determined."

The engine roars as I drive between the lanes, narrowly avoiding the traffic on the other side.

"She said might and if," I recall, my chest aching.

I can't fucking live without her, even if she wants to bathe in blood and commit crime after crime, she's mine. She's mine the same way my lungs are — required for life.

"She'll be fine," another lie, "killing them and she'll smile at me with blood on her face. She'll come back to me, insane and intrinsic to my life."

My hands tremble as I see the faded signs for the abandoned camp. Dread. It clings to my insides, weighing them down and flooding my veins with fear. For the first fucking time in my life I'm terrified, so terrified that I reach across the center console and take out the rosary beads I never think about.

My voice is weak as I beg the only person who may be able to help me. "Mama, protect her. I protected Katya, kept her safe and I tried to do it for you, keep my woman safe."

It's eerie as fuck when I reach the abandoned main house camp and there are no cars lining the route to it. The moon reminds me of Ana, she loves it and always whispers moons to herself when she's feeling overwhelmed. I hit the killswitch, killing all the lights, as I slow to stop anyone hearing me then get out with the rosary wrapped around my fist. The beads lightly clink against each other as I internally repeat my prayer and reminders.

The overgrowth crunches as I step through it with only one face on my mind. There's no one in sight and it's too silent.

I've witnessed her torture, everyone screams.

It's impossible not to.

But the silence is deafening.

Ana wouldn't make a noise if she was on the receiving end which has me speeding up. Fuck, I'm going to have a heart attack.

Save her for me.