36. Dima

THIRTY-SIX

Dima

M y knuckles are split but I keep forcing my fist forward. All I can hear is the cunt lie. Trying to fucking tell me he never raised his hand as though I wasn't a witness. Deluded fucking prick. He went to prison for killing her, but he did it magically without hurting her. Katya might think he isn't worth death but there's nothing he deserves more.

The weak cunt is close to death, and I let him drop. I stamp on his chest so he can feel the same death Mama did, so he can experience how she fucking laid there choking on her own blood while he didn't give a fuck and went to change his shirt. Fucking prick. The mind of a child is like a sponge, mine didn't soak up knowledge but blood.

All those months I spent avoiding the local newspaper because it had his fucking name on it. Not my mother's. Just this prick's face and name because his crime meant more than her life. Does he even fucking know how difficult it is to sleep on the street and avoid those headlines? The very thing I'd use to make sure the place was dry for Katya to sleep or to fucking create warmth had this cunt all over it.

The only thing that calms me is when I turn to see my sweet hellion is sat with her legs crossed, her head on Tali's shoulder and her eyes closed. Fuck this, I'm not wasting my time to hear my father die when she's tired. Vlad has already disappeared, unhappy with not being able to get his hands dirty, and Valentin steps closer to me, blocking me from going to Ana. He doesn't act like a prick for once and nods in her direction.

"Take her home. I've got this, you cleaned my messes up for years."

It's startling that he's finally growing up.

Ana snaps her eyes open when I'm two steps away. The dopiest most adorable sleepy smile takes over her face seeing it's me and she uses Tali for support to stand as she holds his head and nearly pushes him over. Once she's in my arms all that overbearing rage lessens to a manageable level and I pick her up, ignoring everyone else.

She's already had less sleep with her nerves over going to the sex club, all the shit that's happened has taken it out of her and she drops her head on my shoulder, falling back to sleep as soon as she knows she's safe.

My hellion doesn't even stir as I get her in the car. Or while I drive. The only time her eyes flicker is when I'm laying her in our bed and there's no fear on her face. She's even sweeter as she sits up, wiping the sleep from her eyes, before removing her contacts.

"Are you okay?"

Her question comes out uncertain, like she's never asked or been asked that before.Kissing her forehead in answer, I go to wash the blood off me, but she follows me. She doesn't stop in the bathroom, she strips off and walks under the spray. Her arms wrap around me from behind, her cheek pressed against my back, my hellion keeps wrecking me as she kisses the center of my spine and whispers, "You're a good person, the best."

She's wrong. So fucking wrong, I'm far from good and it would be laughable considering my hand is already starting to swell, but she has a moral code that's set in stone. I don't move her hand or try to fuck her when she's fighting her sleep. Cute little thing.

Waking up with my woman half laid on top of me is the best thing in the world. Even if her hair is in my face and her knee is dangerously close to my balls.

She's wide awake and smiles up at me. "You have a day off, Val called earlier but I didn't want to wake you up."

As if we work in an office and he's my manager, little prick. I'll take the day with my hellion and pull her, so she's fully laid across my chest.The movement tugs on her earphones but she doesn't move away, just gently lifts to free them and closes her eyes with her ear resting over my heart.

I adore the little reactions she has when she's reading, something funny will happen and there's always that snort laugh, whatever is happening now has Ana twitching her thighs. I massage up the back of her thighs and a soft brush of air blows across my pec. Trailing the tips of my fingers up her inner thighs, she gasps, "How does that work?"

She's talking to herself, cute as fuck.

"Give me the other one, lisichka," I say and wait for her to put it in my ear like she usually does.

She hesitates.

She never hesitates, and there's a blush on her cheeks, so I don't force her to move as she holds the earbud hostage. Whatever alien fucking she's witnessing must be intense for her to be shy. Kissing her temple, I don't say anything more even though I'm intrigued as fuck when she fully immerses herself into it. I make a mental note of the chapter she's on, so I know what to recreate as I sit up.

I love the feeling of her in my hands, knowing that she's in my arms and fully protected by me. It's not even sexual, it's something deeper, this all-consuming need to have her. The routine of having my hellion is everything, little mundane things like doing something and being able to look over and see her. I've catalogued every little thing, reaction or gasp, translating their meaning so I know she's okay before I ask anyway.

It's that key list that has me pausing when she freezes. Her phone is in her hand, and she slowly pulls the earphones out, uncaring that her book is still playing when she hates losing her place. I sit on the edge of the bed as she looks up at me with big innocent eyes.

"I've found her."

Three whispered words uttered in disbelief.

I look over the top of her screen and it's a message thread, there's a picture attached to it and Ana physically zooms in to the person outside of the frame. I've heard Nina's description countless times and I know her arm was amputated, but I stupidly thought they would have done it cleanly. The red harsh scarring shows it wasn't, the poor girl must have got infected. That's not why Ana is focused as she slowly moves the photo, inspecting below her elbow and narrows her eyes at the pixelated scar as she quietly says, "I had to give her punishment and I put it there."

Kids torturing kids, for fuck's sake.

I risk losing a limb or my life and peel her phone out of her hands when I see the event isn't for another few days. Thankfully, she doesn't rage at me, she looks up as I ask, "How you feeling, lisichka?"

Her smile comes back, and she shrugs, turning it back on me.

"I'm used to it. You're not, I'm sorry you had to pretend to hurt me."

Too fucking perceptive, a dangerous quality. I stroke her cheek with my thumb and my mouth opens, wanting to say the words so fucking badly, to do exactly what she wanted and to not be a coward.

I won't confuse her when it happens continuously. Until Nina is safe, Ana's mind will be too full of every possibility to give anything else her attention. Yet, she surprises me and kisses my cheek as she wraps her arms around my shoulders and loses sight of her goal.

"Do you feel better now?" she asks.

"When didn't I?"

As long as she's with me, I'm fine. She leans back and her discomfort is evident as she forces her thoughts out.

"You killed that man. You weren't happy before and now you won't get any more letters. Do you feel better? He wasn't nice so you should."

I love the fact she didn't give him the title of a parent.

The admission that continuously lives in my throat is fighting to break free and I focus on our plan for the day to divert it.

"I'm fine. Get ready, beautiful, you need clothes."

Inessa and Stasya have designated themselves as her personal shoppers, but I want to spoil my woman.

I've made the worst decision possible as I watch Ana pick her panties. I hold her hips and stand behind her so no one thinks I'm getting off on being around the fabric. Everything around me is forming an image of my hellion modelling them, even the stuff that isn't meant for sex appeal but to be functional. Underneath her all black outfits there's always a touch of pale pink. I grab everything we pass in the color, adding it to the haul of things she'll model for me.

She hasn't understood how this works, despite this being the fourth shop, and takes out her card, thinking it's for anything other than decoration. My woman isn't going to spend anyone's money other than mine, even her own. The sales assistant smiles at her and takes my card as Ana frowns and stares at her card then mine currently being swiped.

Her shoulder presses into my chest as she tilts her head up and asks, "Did that idiot give me a fake card?"

I take her bags and guide her out now that she's got everything she wanted. I've had at least one hand on her at all times and it's no different as we go to the car. She still acts confused when I open the door for her, but she's stopped protesting.

I haven't had a full twenty-four hours to myself in over twenty years, the day feels longer. It could be the company; my will is slowing time down so I can soak up as much of her as possible. Realization hits me, I want this normal shit. I've become accustomed to reliving the same shit every day, Ana breaks it up, there's something new in each moment with her.

Taking her hand as I drive to the restaurant that's her favorite, I kiss her knuckles and rest it on my thigh. She's so fucking pure, thanking me for shit that's normal.

"Thank you for buying my things, do you want me to get you something?"

I nod and squeeze her hand as I force back my demand that she be mine. "Yeah, wear everything for me."

She smiles and lays her head on my bicep without moving her hand away. "I was thinking of getting you socks."

I swear this woman is a contradiction, she killed someone less than twenty-four hours ago, there was blood all over her, but now she's hugging my bicep and nuzzling her cheek closer.

Her excitement comes out when she sees the restaurant and she glows with it as I pull up outside. She doesn't get out of the car, and I don't have to tell her to stay seated as she keeps herself busy on her phone. Each step I tell myself one day, one day her mind won't be filled with shit that confuses her and I'll make her mine in every sense of the word. She's stopped talking to herself and she stays by my side as we walk into the restaurant. There's no space between us this time as we take our seats in the same booth and I keep my arm over the back of the curved booth at the sight of the suited prick who tipped his glass in her direction the first time we were here.

He doesn't raise his glass in Ana's direction and something inside of me settles seeing Vlad's dumbass head sat opposite him. It was a respectful associate greeting but I don't know who the fuck he is. My hellion is oblivious, her gaze fixed to my right with a blankness I haven't seen before. I dip my head to speak in her ear and bring her back, but she leans into me for protection.

"What's wrong, lisichka?"

Her voice is small, nervous, as she explains, "That woman keeps staring at me, do you think she knows Yulia?"

Sitting taller, I follow her gaze and there's no one I can see looking in our direction.My hand goes to her nape, more to reassure myself, and my admission is the same.

"She's never getting near you."

I don't know what she looks like, but I'll kill anyone who matches the vague description Ana has given. My so-called day off is invaded by both of our families as her brothers and Katya walk through and sit themselves down as though they were invited.

I've never hidden shit from my sister, anything she asks will be given an honest answer, I'm not her parent and I don't know if it's the right thing to do but she's turned out halfway decent. Her eyes go to my busted knuckles, and she's clearly changed her mind about letting the cunt live from last night as she slides in beside me and kisses my cheek.

"It's a special occasion but I'm still not eating a steak."

Her humor has me relaxing and she talks across me to Ana.

My hellion told these fuckers to be here, and her hand is on my knee. It doesn't move and the rest of them turn up as Inessa, Stasya, and Dani fit themselves around the table. It's the most dysfunctional family in existence but I wouldn't pick another one despite Tali's attempts at flirting.

"So, Stasi, couldn't stay away from me?"

She rolls her eyes at him, but he puffs his chest out, ignoring the lack of response.

"It's okay, I have that effect on people. I even reserved you a seat, come sit on it."

Inessa is the parent he always longed for, and she doesn't look away from her menu to reprimand him.

"Keep being disgusting while there are sharp objects around me, and no one will come anywhere near you."

Ana squeezes my knee, and the entire table picks up on the shift in her as she stares at whoever is approaching. All sense of threat leaves seeing Heather walking towards us. Fuck, I'd forgotten she existed, our contract was a monthly one so it's not like I owe her shit.We weren't in a relationship, it was fucking, biological. The same can't be said about Ana, I would rather be celibate and have her in my life in any way that I could than touch anyone else.

The way Heather's staring at Ana under my arm is pissing me the fuck off, but she does the intelligent thing and looks the fuck away as she keeps fucking walking. Guilt works through me that my hellion is afraid it's to do with Yulia and I'm a selfish bastard refusing to put her at ease. I don't want there to be a conversation about anyone I've fucked, it was always supposed to be Ana and the way her mind works, she won't experience jealousy. She'll accept it as something that's happened then tell me something from her own life that will show that she can relate and I'll never fucking allow her to have a conversation about anyone who has ever touched her. I'm not evolved enough to discuss past relationships with my woman.