31. Ana

THIRTY-ONE

Ana

I 've been tortured and never felt like this. My body tenses as he presses the clicker, it's been conditioned to associate that sound with him pulling more for me. There's sweat coating every inch of my skin and my hair stick to my nape as he strokes it back to press his lips to my temple. Dima is teasing me, it's the same as torture but with the promise of too much good. I can't keep my eyes open, and they slowly flutter as he kisses my cheek, forehead, then lips.

"Tell me, lisichka."

It's spoken so gently, no sign of anger at what my answer could be. Shaking my head, I reach out for him and hold his biceps with a stronger voice than I should be capable of.

"Yes, please."

I can't remember hearing what he asked, and his smile touches my skin. I don't know how long we've been in this room; it could be months because my mind is scrambled, and every little touch has set me ablaze. Even the air blowing against the inside of my knee as he kneels between my thighs has me twitching and I'm sure I just came without him touching me.

The clicker echoes through the room and I know I did as he softly kisses my clit.

"I'm sorry, B, your pretty little clit is all swollen, but you're doing so good for me, aren't you?"

I nod and try to blink but there are light spots everywhere. I manage to clear them enough to look down and see the number on the clicker — thirty-seven. A whimpered, halfhearted sob shakes my chest knowing his torture isn't over, but he pauses and leans over me. His inked knuckles brush my cheek, and he softly kisses my forehead, making me melt, as he asks, "Do you want me to stop?"

I scream no inside my head, I don't want him to stop but he hasn't really started, he just keeps torturing me and I want to see him feel good. All the products he's tested have been sorted into piles only Dima knows the reason for, and I stretch my limbs out, liking the way my muscles ache.

He doesn't rush me to answer or have any expectations as I find some energy hiding in the corner of my limbs. I sound stronger with it, but I can't move my body.

"No, I want to feel you. Dima, please."

He pushes his hand under my nape, gently lifting my head, and grabs the front of my throat with the other, it restricts my air but not enough that it causes me to pass out, it just intensifies everything that has already been heightened as he peppers my face with his lips. His voice is even softer to my dazed mind as he gently coos against my cheeks. "Shh, I've got you."

It's like the best hug in the world and he slowly pulses his fingers, filling my body with adrenaline as I get varying amounts of air.

"That's it," he breathes out against my lips and reduces the pressure to fill my lungs with the air directly from his own. My hands are slow as I stroke up his back and he pushes his hips up so his dick lands heavy against my stomach. A moan is ripped from me, it's animalistic and feral at the feeling of his pre-cum leaking against my skin, but he remains in control and just kisses me despite the evidence of how hard he is literally between us.

My spine arches and his lips skid across my cheek as I wrap my fingers around him. He doesn't let me move him where I want and lightly nips my jaw with his teeth before asking, "Can you take the sleeve?"

I nod as another moan chokes me at the thought of feeling each ridge inside of me and it turns my voice husky.

"Are you going to come in me?"

His bite is more forceful but not anywhere close to painful as he digs his teeth into my neck and groans, "I'm going to fill your pussy up, flood you with my cum."

My back arches further and a pathetic whimper leaves me as lights burst behind my eyes. He moves back and gently holds my jaw, so I look at him as he wraps his fingers around mine on his dick and his eyes are fully black as he watches our joined hands stroke him from base to tip. He controls my hand and palms the thick swollen head with my hand before he removes it entirely and lifts my hips higher. His pre-cum is on my skin and I don't think as I bring my palm to my lips and my tongue pokes out. It's pulled away before I can taste it and Dima holds my wrist as he wipes it away on the sheets, his voice is deep and stern, but not cruel or harsh.

"The first time you taste my dick it will actually be my dick."

I nod and smile up at him because he's perfect and he kisses the tip of my nose before slowly pushing into me without the sleeve.

"Oh fuck!"

My chest rises and he presses his lips over my left nipple, his deep voice vibrating through my ribcage.

"Just to make it easier to slide it on, B."

I don't know what he's talking about because he groans, and I clench, unable to take it.

"Fuck, your pussy is perfect just like you."

He keeps slowly pushing in until he's fully seated inside me then painfully slowly pulls out until I'm left empty. My eyes are open, but I can't see anything as something rustles beside me and my hips are kept elevated on a pillow.

Rough fingers stroke my cheek and I turn my head, chasing them, to see my favorite person, dark silver, steel moons stare at me in awe as he kisses my forehead.

"How are you feeling?"

My face is melting and dopey, but I manage to say, "Good, can I feel you now?"

He nods and kisses my cheek before positioning himself at my entrance. The cool silicone makes me suck in a sharp breath, but he massages up my stomach in an up-down motion, making me relax.

He's even slower pushing inside me with the sleeve on and I make a sound that I'm sure only registers for animals to hear. The soothing massaging doesn't stop as I feel him stretch me and his hand moves further up with each inch that enters me. He drops over me with his forearm beside my head and strokes his knuckles across my cheek, smiling down at me so full of emotion it burns my eyes.

"That's it, beautiful, you're doing so good for me."

The coo has a pathetic moan getting trapped in my throat. Dima maintains the gentle touch against my face as he slowly pushes inside inch by torturous inch. The sleeve makes him thicker and there are more ridges pressing against my sensitive inner walls.

"Whose pussy is this?"

I think I mumble his name, but I can taste colors and hear pictures.

"Right answer, lisichka, it's mine."

The grooves are more pronounced as he pushes another inch into me, and I dig my nails into his skin.

"Mine to make come." Another inch and he changes the script, copying the one from my book. "Do you want to stay on our planet, human?"

The mix of my favorite person on Earth and my favorite escape he keeps flickering between is going to ruin me.

My back arches as I nod and break through his skin with my nails, but he doesn't scream as his lips dance down my neck asking, "And how do you stay here, human?"

Oh fuck.

My toes curl as my legs tense, flying into midair. Grabbing his shoulders as my head follows the same ascent, I choke out around a scream I'm keeping back, "Breed. Me."

Lips press into the top of my hair at the same time as a gentle hand cups the back of my head. My body shudders and he thrusts into me, but I can't control anything as I bite into his shoulders, not my body, or my mind.

It's all been given over to the man who's wrecking me and keeping everything else away, so I just be .

When the soft spikes touch my clit, he does what he hoped for and transports me beyond the galaxies where I can still hear Dima in my ear between each soothing rock of the atmosphere.

"That's my hellion, just for me."

"My beautiful woman."

Thrust.

"Ya skhozhu po tebe s uma."

Thrust.

"So fucking good for me."

He continues and I can't understand it all apart from the two words at the end. For him . I'm ripped from one climax and dragged down to Earth into another. My eyes widen or they were already open, and I let his shoulder go from between my teeth as my body spasms. A scream is forced from my chest that sounds like his name, but I can't split the sounds apart to work out what it is.

"Shh, it's okay, beautiful." His coo touches my skin, directly over my heart. "I've got you, little bit more for me?"

I'm not at the point it's too much and want to stop so sniffle as I nod. He presses his lips to my chest, then a warm mouth engulfs my nipple as he softly flicks it with his tongue and pulls out to just the tip. The air is knocked out of my body as he slams into me in one long, hard thrust and my body slides up into his hand holding the top of my head.

I'm moving or the world is moving but I'm in an alternate state where I can slow time. Gently lifting me to the edge of the bed, he stands and flattens the back of my legs against his chest so only my shoulders blades and head are touching the sheets, the change in position has him deeper inside of me. My back arches and I rest my ankles on his shoulders as his hand comes back to my neck. Feeling the rough pads of his fingertips against my sensitive skin relaxes me, I don't need to think about breathing. Dima will do it for me.

The spikes are rotated and pressing against the back of my thigh at the curve of my ass. Looking up as my vision slowly comes back, the first thing I see is a smile, then the twin moons and Dima's beautiful body covered in ink. His hand on my neck turns gentle as he strokes the sides with his thumb and softly says around that curve.

"There's my woman with those beautiful eyes."

The reverence in his voice has my bottom lip poking out. I must look dumb, but his features soften impossibly further.

He doesn't look away from my eyes and kisses my calves, any part of me he can reach, while fucking me with purposeful strokes.

"One more for me, lisichka?"

My smile feels dopey, and my face is wet, there's sweat on every inch of my body but no disgust staring back at me, as my voice shakes with my depleted energy.

"Then I'll stay?"

His hand flexes around my throat, voice darkening and hips speeding up. "Oh, B, I'm never letting you go."

As though I needed the words, my climax snakes up my spine, coiling every muscle in my body tightly and I cut off my own air. With my muscles locked, he drops his hand from my legs. Flattening his palm on my stomach, he pushes in a downward motion, and I can't stop myself from screaming as he thumbs my clit. I'm saying words, I think. Or it's one long noise. The sheets in my hand are wet as I try to tear them to shreds to maintain a grip on reality. I haven't recovered when I'm folded in half, heat covering my entire body.

Lips touch mine, feeding me more than my muddled brain will ever be able to decipher.

"Fucking perfect." Pressing back into me. "Covered me in your cum like my good girl."

A whimper is pushed down my throat. Liquid heat fills me and the soft spikes slap against my ass cheek, tripping me into another release my body can't comprehend. He bites the side of my neck, groaning into my skin and cocooning me with his body.

My teeth are chattering, legs turning to jelly, and every muscle falls limp. I don't even have the energy to wince or react as he slowly pulls out of me and moves me to lay under the covers. I'm awake and asleep while he moves around the room, the top sheet rustles and then water runs before he comes back to me and the bed dips at my side. Cool air touches my thigh before a warm washcloth is pressed between my thighs, a kiss touching my forehead with pride.

"You did so good, lisichka, let me take care of you."

I slowly tilt my head towards his heat and a soft gust of air touches my skin. Dima doesn't lift the sheet off me fully as he cleans between my thighs, only enough for his hand to go under. I don't know why that's what I'm focusing on. It's a small thing. Nothing. He's just taking care of me like he said he would, but tears leak out of the corners of my eyes.

Why is it making me cry?

I don't cry.

Ever.

His soothing hum is in my ear. My hum, my song I made up and I cry harder.He gently picks me up and cradles me to his chest as he strokes my hair. The hum is more a vibration in his chest than a sound as I push my ear closer to him.

"You're okay, lisichka, I've got you."

Pressing his lips to my hair, he alternates between the hum and telling me I'm okay.

"You were so good for me, my perfect woman."

I cry harder because he never calls anyone a woman, he once called someone who looked like she was born in the 1800's a girl and thought nothing of it. But he didn't say girl because he knows I'm not a child. When my tears finally stop, he holds my cheek, wiping away the tears still on my skin and kisses my forehead.

My raw eyes open, but my body is lighter, and I don't say anything as I blink up at the person who has always been here. I don't care that we fought or wished each other death years ago, this Dima is the real one. He uncaps a bottle of water and bypasses my hand as I weakly raise it. I open my mouth and he pours in little sips until I've had enough.

Foil crinkles and then something sweet melts against my lip. Looking down, there's a piece of chocolate held out to me, and he speaks softly.

"Don't bite it, let it melt on your tongue."

Nodding my head, I stick my tongue out more than what's needed, and he laughs, kissing my forehead and feeding me. It helps with gently bringing me down and I'll always associate chocolate with this moment from now on. It's sweeter with his lips moving across my face to my nose, my forehead, my cheeks, and eyelids.

His voice is coaxing and softer than the melted chocolate.

"How you feeling, lisichka?"

My smile is easy, and I don't need to think about my answer. "Better."

Not just from my tears but life, my brain chemistry has been altered, broken apart and rebuilt. He doesn't look away from my eyes as he strokes my cheek with his thumb and slowly sits me up in increments.

"I want you to lay down on top of the sheets with your eyes closed when you're ready."

There's no expectation, he's waiting for me to refuse or agree.

My hesitance lies in my body's capability, and he shakes his head, answering my silent question.

"I promise I won't make you come again until your pussy isn't as swollen and sensitive, I only want you to see what I do."

Intrigue has me agreeing and we don't move as we wait for our bodies to catch up and birdsong is coming through the open window – peace. When my shaking has reduced enough to move, he gently lifts me, laying me down in the middle of the bed. The soothing voice comes out again as he presses his lips to my browbone.

"Close your eyes for me, moya krasotka."

Doing as he said, I lay there without the usual darkness. It's not a physical darkness but mental, all of it has been slammed shut like it can't exist when Dima is humming my song and the birds are singing it too.

There's a soft click and he pauses his humming when I tense. His lips touch the center of my chest as he softly says, "I'm not counting, B."

My name .

He's using my name and the bed dips beside me.

"It might be a little cold, but I won't hurt you."

My eyes are still closed but it doesn't mute my conviction.

"I know."

I suck in a breath, not knowing what to expect. It's not icy cold, it's wet and a lower temperature than my heated skin. It soon turns comfortable, and I work out what he's doing, he's doodling on me. A laugh shakes my chest as he moves the pen across my thighs, my stomach, chest, and neck. It stops when he does it to my face and the touches are even more gentle. My chin, cheeks, forehead. The wet point that was touching me is removed as Dima strokes my hair out of my face and traces my eyebrows.

"Open those pretty eyes for me."

I slowly blink, unsure of what he's drawn and look down at the words on my skin. I can't make out the red letters upside down and he holds his hand out to me. I'd never refuse to take it and allow him to lead me to the mirror. The letters are flipped, making it easier to read, and there's a warmth in my chest as he stands behind me holding my waist without breaking any of the words up.

"I told you I'd tell you about yourself, lisichka."

Both of my thighs have the same word in big letters.

M

I

N

E

My laugh is air when I read between my hips with an arrow pointing down.

My tongue

My dick

My fingers

MINE

↓

Moving further up my body to my stomach, there are different words all over my torso.

Cute as fuck

Adorable

Perfection

Beautiful

Good

My sternum.

Good girl

Psychotic

Righteous

Pure

Hellion

Mine

A sob lodges itself in my throat when I reach my chest and the bold letters he's underlined.

W O R T H Y

Over my heart.

MINE

To love

To cherish

To protect

Going down my arms is the same mix of words, until I reach my palm.

To hold

I turn them over and he's written his name on the ring finger of each hand. Continuing my reading, I go back to my collar bones and up to my neck.

My hand here

Beautiful?

There's an arrow to my hair and emotion continues to choke me.

Moving my gaze to my face, there's an arrow pointing to my mouth from my chin.

Sweet

My lips here ?

The arrow on my cheek points in the same direction towards my lips.

? And here

The other cheek.

Best sound in the world →

Under each eye.

Beautiful

My forehead.

And my lips here

The red ink turns pink with my tears coming back and I turn, wrapping my arms around Dima's middle. He does know me because he put psycho and not just random things that sounded nice. It's all little things built together, covering every scar that was put there with the opposite sentiment. I don't know why I don't tell him that and force different words out instead as my voice cracks.

"You have really neat backwards writing."

His chest shakes and he kisses my crown before he picks me up and gets into bed, covering all the words on my body. It's like I've been drowning under the weight of all the brands put on me, but he's pulled me out of the water by making a tie with everything that I am. No one else could see under the murky depths but he did and now I can breathe — I'm not a ghost anymore.

I'm a real person and someone knows I exist.

For the first and only time in my life, I'm safe. Yulia can't get me anymore and Dima won't let her if she tries.

I lay on his chest, my face hidden below his chin and the tears don't stop as he strokes my back.

"You're okay, no one will ever hurt you again, and you don't need a name because I know everything about you."

I weakly nod and burrow closer.

"My beautiful hellion, wash it all away and I'll rewrite it."