25. Ana

TWENTY-FIVE

Ana

D ima worships my body with his lips as the book plays and Lekar enters the scene through the speakers. He doesn't look at me like I'm broken and unhappy that someone did it first, he's angry that it's there in the first place. I like his anger, it feels warm. The narrator's voice stops my thoughts racing and all I can feel is Dima. His sheets smell like him, his hand are on my hips and then his lips are on mine.

He taps the side of my leg and copies the words from the beginning of the chapter.

"Hips up, human, or you're not allowed on the ship."

It sounds better in his deep voice, he should be a narrator if he ever wants to leave the Bratva. Planting my feet on the bed, I lift up and he rewards me with a kiss to my neck, his tongue poking out making swirls and I can feel them all over my body.

Stroking across my ribs, he works his hands around me and pauses on the back of bra. His voice is deeper, serious.

"What do you do if you want me to stop?"

I always thought you stop them by killing them and I smile knowing it's not an option now.

"I tell you."

He presses another kiss to my lips and breathes out, "Good girl."

They don't leave my skin as he moves down my body and he unhooks my bra. He marks a path from my collar bone to my chest with his tongue and I suck in a breath around my moan as he reaches my nipple. Silver eyes lock onto mine as he softly wraps his lips around the pebbled peak.He doesn't take his eyes off me, and my senses block out the narrator, focusing on those twin moons. I feel like he said I was, precious. I'm not Ana, he sees me and presses his lips over my heart.

"Say my name, lisichka."

My hips are still lifted with his fingers going into the waistband of my shorts as he slowly moves down my stomach, waiting for me to do as he said. It's his name, I've said it before, but my voice is weak.

"Dima."

He smiles like I've screamed it and presses a gentle kiss to my sternum above the scars. The branding is shown extra care as he rewrites the words and works my shorts down. His eyes flicker from my face to between my legs. My entire body flushes at the next words leaving him.

"Did you wipe your cum away or will I get to taste what I'm working for?"

I'm not capable of answering, it's new information and he lifts up with his hand beside my head and traces my cheek with the back of his knuckles. His voice is even softer than the gentle caress as he continues to put me at ease.

"You can tell me anything, lisichka, anything at all, on any topic, I'm not going anywhere."

Without the training I don't know how to act, I'm not sure what to do or what the right thing is to say, so I settle on agreement. "Okay."

He copies me and kisses my cheek. "Okay." Then continues kissing a path down my body that's even slower this time. His smile is softer as he sees my pale pink panties hidden under my all-black clothes and marks a line above my panties with his tongue.

He's better than my imagination, any thoughts I had earlier about how this would feel don't match the real thing. He's not roughly dragging a body around but recognizing that I'm a person. Once I'm fully naked, he presses a kiss to each of my knees and lays between my thighs. Stretching his hands up until our fingers are threaded together, he licks through my slit. The gentle movements stop at the first flick of his tongue, and he groans into me long and low.

"Fuuccckk."

It's muffled, causing the vibrations to add to my euphoria.

There's no training for this part, my body only cares about me, and my brain can't take over. Sucking my clit between his teeth, he makes dizzying patterns and I roll my hips as my back arches. I'm extra sensitive after the grinder and I can't stop my sounds, but they spur him on, and he circles my entrance with two fingers. He unthreads his hands from mine and slowly pushes one finger into me.

I grab his hair and my voice is lower as I beg, "Dima, more."

My words shake, they're a whisper and unsteady but he smiles against me without increasing his pace.The slow movements are torturous, and my frustration rises. Controlling his head, I keep it locked in place and push my hips down, chasing more. Pride shines up at me and he pushes a second finger into me. My moan is relief, it morphs into me chanting his name when he curls his fingers inside me and raises to sit on his knees.

"Oh fuck, Dima, more."

Circling my clit with barely there brushes of his thumb, he holds my throat so I can't look away from him.His lips and chin glisten and there's a wildness in his eyes as he goads me. "That's it, lisichka, you're only ever going to come with my name on your lips, aren't you?"

I can't stop my answer even though it's not true.

"Probably not."

His fingers flex around my neck but don't cut off my air, his eyes and voice darken as he leans over me. "Wrong answer, what's the right one?"

There's no real threat to my life but he holds my climax hostage and pauses his hand. I don't give him what he wants and smile sweetly as I gesture towards my phone.

"Lekar?"

His lips slam against mine, it's filled with emotion and breaks up his words.

"So fucking," coming back for more, he doesn't finish the sentence and his hand speeds up to a maddening pace "beautiful," my back arches, moving my lips away from his. "Never," he moves down my neck and I push my throat into his palm "stood a," his fingers tighten, making me lightheaded and locking the filing cabinet "chance."

Biting into the side of my neck, he curls his fingers up and my entire body tenses as he grinds the heel of his palm against my clit. His fingers press against some pressure point that have my body contorting, but he pushes his hips into mine, forcing me to feel the full extent of the pleasure he's capable of producing.

I slap out at the sheet as I convulse, a moan getting trapped in my throat and a soft coo in my ear.

"I've got you, krasotka." 1

Lips follow them, moving across my face as something wet touches my cheek.

"It's okay, malyshka, you did so good for me."

Dima doesn't move his fingers, but he slows, and I chase his lips with unseeing eyes. As soon as they touch I feel better and wrap my arms around his shoulders. My face is wet with tears, I've never cried before. Even when I wanted to inside. But this is different because I didn't fake and there was no training, it was just Dima and me , not Yulia screaming at me or anyone hurting me.

Making patterns on his back that match the movement of our tongues, we're smiling against each other. I want him to feel good too and press against his chest until he's on his back. He doesn't let me go and I straddle his hips as he holds my nape, stopping me when we're eye to eye.

"You sure, B?"

He called me B, again, not Ana.

I press my lips to his cheek in answer and lift my hips up, silently asking him to do the same. Pushing my fingers into the waistband of his boxers, I slowly peel them away from his hips, but he pulls me closer and kisses me with enough force that it floods my chest with emotion. He's breathing life into a ghost and his dick springs free, calling my attention to it as his pre-cum touches my thigh.

He controls all my movements and drops his hips down to grind me against him. I bite his lip at the feeling of him brushing my clit and he groans into me. He strokes down my back and massages my ass, slowly rocking me against him but not pushing inside.

"I need you to go slow or I'll come too soon."

I try to hide my laugh at the seriousness on his face by burying my face in his neck, but his lips are still attacking me.

When I nod he stretches over into the drawer and takes out a condom, picks me up to sit me further down his thighs and puts it on himself . He doesn't throw it at me or call me dirty. As soon as his hands are on my hips again, I lift up and don't look anywhere other than his eyes that comfort me. He squeezes my hips as I line him up and he sits up, sealing his lips over mine.There's no anger and his voice is soft as he genuinely asks for reassurance.

"Tell me, lisichka."

I'm safe, it's Dima. He won't hurt me.

Wrapping one arm around his shoulders, I push all my weight down and grab his knee for support as my mouth opens on a silent scream. He strokes his scarred knuckles down my spine and kisses each of my cheeks, waiting for me to adjust.

"Take your time, we have the rest of our lives, malyshka."

I can't think about his words because his lips are moving down, and he flicks my nipple before sucking it into his mouth.He moans around me as I circle my hips and he thrusts up into me. Kissing the center of my chest, he looks up and holds my hips, guiding my movements as I rest our foreheads together. All I see is moons, silver, and safety.

"You were made for me, only me."

Awe wraps itself around his possessiveness as we share air and smiles.

He holds my nape and gently turns so we're on our sides. Lifting my leg, he massages the back of my thigh as he places it over his hips and doesn't look away from me, my eyes close with the intensity in his stare but his words make them snap open.

"Keep those beautiful eyes on me, lisichka."

There's no rough movements or harsh words as we slowly rock against each other.

My heart is beating too fast and my head fills with things I can't distinguish. I need to push it away and he turns easily as soon as my fingertips touch his chest. I hate that it's ruined. The fake noises come out when they're not needed, and he grabs my throat, shaking his head with one word filled with disappointment.

"Don't."

I can't stop them – the filing cabinet has opened and it's all there.

I peel his hand off my neck and jump off the bed, running away. I'm weird and wrong. Everything they said was right and Dima can see it all. He can see all the scars and the way I don't fucking know anything. Going through the door closest to me, I don't realize I'm in his bathroom until I try and close the door. It doesn't touch the frame as fingers curl around the edge, obstructing me.

This is why I'm Ana, she knows things, she lived and she didn't get attached to anyone. B got attached, when that happens people get hurt and she never knows what the fuck to do. Angry tears burn a path down my cheeks, and I leave the stupid door and stand in front of the sink. My fist flies out so I don't have to see my reflection at the same time as Dima steps into the room.

He's already put his shorts back on and grabs my hand, inspecting my knuckles, as my voice comes out small laced with apology.

"I don't know who I am."

He drops my hand and pulls me into his chest, his lips brushing my crown and I want to tell him I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm not a real person and for pretending to be one .

My cheek is pressed against his heart, and it muffles my explanation.

"I don't even have a name, just a letter. No surname or birth certificate."

I don't know how he understands me, but he strokes my hair away from my face and rests his lips on my crown as though he's trying to put the words directly in my head.

"You can have my last name, pick whatever you want for your first name."

His jokes has a watery laugh leaving me, but he doesn't copy me.Keeping me tucked to his chest, he turns and pulls a t-shirt off the back of the door, his lips are still pressed into my crown as I lift my arms when I'm told to. He doesn't let me hide again, holding my face in both hands, he dips down and swipes the tears away with only conviction in his voice and features.

"I know who you are, whether you have a name or not." Kissing my forehead, he adds, "You're my sweet, murderous, beautiful, psychotic hellion, don't run from me."

He doesn't stop trying to shut Yulia and Marlo up as he presses gentle fingers to the middle of my back, behind my ear, and then to my stomach.

"None of this shit is true. Do you still trust me?" I nod because he's the only person I ever have, he copies it but it's not as bright as usual as he says, "Then turn to me when you think you don't know who you are, I'll tell you about yourself." Kissing my forehead again, he moves across my face, placing gentle kisses against my eyes, my cheeks, my nose, and then my lips.

"I've got you, lisichka, I'll never not know you."

I'm tired again, it's not in my body but my mind. Dima doesn't say anything else and picks me up by the back of my thighs as if he knows how tiring it is to not know if you exist, he can't know because he's a normal person, but I hold on to him and rest my cheek on his shoulder as I whisper, "I'm sorry."

His sigh is sad and touches my shoulder before he tries to lie.

"You haven't done anything wrong, you never will."

He doesn't know about Theo, no one does, and I'll never be able to take it back. That's why everything goes wrong because I am wrong.

Dima doesn't see it though and he lays on the bed with me on his chest without removing his lips from my hair. I know what he wants and attempt to sit up on my knees, but he bands his arms tighter around me, his voice rougher, stern without any reprimand aimed at me.

"Just sleep, you will never do anything you don't want to."

He means it, he's not pissed at me, and I lie about my movements.

"It's not comfortable like this, I like sleeping on my side."

I regret it because I was comfortable, and he moves out from under me. I'm not left alone for long as he lifts my head and places it on his bicep before wrapping his other arm around me and resting his chin on my crown.

"Go to sleep, I'll never let anyone near you."

I believe him, it's dumb but I do and my eyes close.

1 ? Gorgeous