16. Ana

SIXTEEN

Ana

I forgot that a full stomach makes me tired, and I can't even keep my eyes open or support my head. Breaking the etiquette rules Yulia enforced in me, I rest my elbow on the table and catch my cheek against my palm. My skin feels hot and I'm going to burst. But I got my steak. I'll tell Nina to come here when I find her. If she doesn't eat meat they have other options. I push that thought out of my head because there's only one person who would make a person without options refuse to eat meat and she can't be with Rowan. She has to be with someone else, or she won't be alive.

Fingers touch my forehead at the same time as Dima's voice in my ear, closer than I thought it would be.

"You want to have a nap, lisichka?"

I nod then quickly change my answer as I nearly groan out loud at the feeling of my jeans suddenly becoming too tight. He moves closer and wraps his arm around my shoulder while his other hand goes under the table.

My heart slows in disappointment. I thought he wasn't like everyone else. He whispers into my ear as I push myself back to get away from him, but he softly says, "I'm not going to touch you, it's just to make you feel comfortable."

His hand doesn't go between my thighs, or under my t-shirt. He manages to unbutton my jeans without moving my clothes or touching my skin. I can breathe again, not because he didn't touch me, but I'm not restricted.He doesn't leave his hand under the table or try to touch me. Dima shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders so no one can see that my pants are undone. He keeps asking me random questions again. "What tattoo are you going to get?"

He's been doing it for days and I answer because I don't want to lose my voice. I tell him all about the designs without the reason for them.

"Trees and an alien, I might get a huge spaceship too."

If I'm covered in unique pictures, Yulia can't take me back, it's too risky when someone could remember seeing me and I won't blend in anymore.I can't be sold if there's no part of my skin for them to see scars on so she can't have me to train or to give to clients and I'm free.

Focusing on anything other than the food in front of me after eating so much, I note Amon sat in the far corner. His back is to the wall so he can watch everyone, and he discreetly tips his glass toward me on the journey to his lips. Does this mean we're friends? I've never seen him outside of when I need money before, but I've never really done anything other than look for Nina apart from when I'm working for Valentin.Yeah, I think that means we're friends. He doesn't smile or walk over; he just sits there observing the room. There's no acknowledgment other than the minute tilt of his tumbler and Dima stiffens beside me with his grumble, "We're leaving."

I'm about to put money on the table when I'm suddenly in the air. His arms are under my knees and back as he picks me up and stoically walks out of the restaurant. I push my body weight down, so he lets me go but he just holds me tighter and his jaw clenches. Fucking asshole.

I can't fight in a restaurant full of people, they'll never let me back in again. He ignores me when I ask to be put down and doesn't loosen his hold until he sits me in the car. He's trying to lock me in the car, the dickhead, and I push my full weight against the door. He flattens his palm on the roof of the car and leans down, pushing his big head in the car and he's pissed.

"Don't do it, lisichka, we're going home."

I'm about to argue when my stomach hurts and I tense. The movement has him softening and he touches my face.He lowers his voice and anger around a genuine smile that reaches his silver eyes.

"Ate too much?"

It's not painful enough to dull me and I pull on the door, hoping it slices his head off. Unfortunately, Dima moves back, and I don't get the reaction I want as he walks around the car and starts the engine.

Food is supposed to give you energy, but I'm exhausted and my eyes close. Normally my mind takes me to the forest when I close my eyes in a car, but I'm in a different place and I'm watching everything happen again.

Marlo sits behind me in his chair with Yulia stood beside him and his voice is filled with anger.

"You're weak, pathetic. One guard was able to disarm you."

She joins in, only focusing on the money. "You don't earn anything. I pay to keep you."

I don't want to fucking be here again, but I can't move. My legs are stuck how I've been conditioned to kneel for the punishment. It's cold and there are dots on my skin as my teeth chatter.

I want to go back inside.

Stand up, they can't do anything, it's a dream .

The sky turns white, and the soft flakes fall only to melt into a puddle as soon as they get close to the open flames. His cane taps on the floor, and I have no time to prepare as the handle hooks around my neck and I'm pulled back into the flame. The contrast of my frozen skin and the burning against my back sets my full body on fire. I bite my tongue so I don't scream again, and blood fills my mouth as the cut on the inside of my cheek reopens.

A hand encases mine, the fingers touching my palm as a thumb strokes the back of my hand. It doesn't stop the memory, but it stops me being alone. I can't pull myself out of it, I have to finish watching or it will follow me when I open my eyes. The soft stroking doesn't stop as it mixes with light squeezes and my eyes snap open as soon as Marlo has finished pouring the hot oil on my frozen skin.

Blinking twice to get my contacts to move back in the right place, I look down to see Dima is holding my hand. Weirdo. He's parked outside his house and his other hand is on the steering wheel. I have to straighten my hand and slide it out like a snake because the dumbass doesn't move. Is he having an episode? He said he was going to have a breakdown in the restaurant.

Oh fuck. Am I supposed to help him? Do I pat his head like people do to dogs or say something?

It's better if I leave him alone and he can work through whatever mental problem he has without me watching him. I slip out of the car and leave his jacket on the seat before I go inside. It's the first day where I don't have anyone to kill, and I don't have the energy to search for someone.But I pause at the bottom of the stairs because he hasn't followed me inside. He's still sat in the car, and I leave the front door open, so he remembers where to go once he's finished with his breakdown.

My hair isn't falling out as much since I got the new shampoo, and I don't put my contacts back in before climbing out of the window after washing the day away. The roof isn't steep, making it easy to sit on and watch the sky as I listen to my book. It's relaxing not seeing anything above me other than the dark sky. I'm not going to be caught out in case someone comes after me and leave one earphone out so I can hear.

It's getting to the good part where the aliens find the human when the back door slides open. Dima's bad mood colors the air and I peek over the edge, watching what he's doing. His face is always miserable but not because of any thoughts, it's just the way it looks when he's relaxed. Right now, it's different, his shoulders are tense, and he blows a harsh breath out of his nose as he lights a cigarillo.

I don't like seeing him sad, it's uncomfortable. There's something in his hand, a thick piece of paper that glows under the moonlight as he spins it, contemplating the contents. This is why he needed to sit in the car for longer and I wish I was like Dani. She knows people and how to act when they're sad, but I don't. He doesn't notice me until he's finished smoking and turns around to go back inside. His eyes widen and some of the tension leaves his shoulders. It comes back straight away, and he grumbles too low for me to hear before he stomps inside.

Now my distraction has gone, I lay flat against the roof and plant my feet against the tiles, so I don't slip. I'm relaxed again when I restart the chapter and I push my hands behind my head with my fingers threaded together as the narrator's voice fills with emotion on the buildup to my favorite part where the alien and the human start arguing.

But I get disturbed again, and Dima's big body climbs out of the window. He nervously walks towards me, and I have to pause it, again, when he opens his mouth. "What you listening to, torture sounds?"

He doesn't let me answer his question as he lowers to sit beside me and plucks up the dangling earphone to listen along. I might not have had friends, or anyone talk to me when I was at Yulia's, but I know this is weird.

He doesn't ever seek me out while I've been staying here. Maybe he doesn't want to be alone after his episode in the car. Rather than playing my book, I focus on the envelope in his hand and my voice lowers despite us being alone as I ask, "What's that?"

A heavy sigh pushes his chest out and he copies me, laying back and staring up at the sky.I don't think I'm going to get an answer until he turns his head, and he softly smiles seeing my eyes. "A letter from my father."

His smile dips and returns every time I blink but he's not scared or screaming at me. I've never noticed that his eyes are like pure silver, the moon makes them shine brighter. Without his pupils they'd look like two moons and it's not uncomfortable being this close to him.

My questions come out slow asking about his family since neither he or Katya talk about their parents, and I assumed they were orphans. "Why don't you want to read it?"

Melancholy mixes with pained anger as he answers, "He killed my mama." Holding the envelope up so I can see the return the address, he adds, "These come from his cell."

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, I can't imagine having parents never mind losing them.Focusing back on the sky to hide my ignorance, I keep my voice low. "Was she nice?"

If she was nice then it's sad, if she wasn't then he should be happy.

Dima doesn't get offended at my question, he smiles in my periphery and stares at my profile.

"Yeah, she was nice. She'd always make us cakes and sew Katya dresses. Even though they were pink and frilly, she'd wear them and put on a fashion show so Mama could see her designs come to life."

I can't imagine Katya wearing anything frilly, she looks like a doll but she always dresses in monochromatic colors. I turn my head so he can see I'm genuine, and my voice comes out weak with the new conversation.

"I'm sorry you lost your mom." His smile gets softer, and I quickly add, "Do you want me to kill him?"

I know how to do that. It would be easy, and I can record it so he can watch it whenever he wants.

A soft laugh leaves him on a breath, and he sits up. I don't move as he gently lifts my hair off my face, pushes it behind my ear, and I freeze when he stares into my eyes. I want to close them, hide before he can tell me I'm evil. But he doesn't say that.

"Can you do something for me?"

His voice is soothing, coaxing me to do what he says, but I don't have to think of my answer. "Probably not."

His chest vibrates and he strokes my cheek with his thumb as his smile widens.The soft voice comes out again as he looks between each of my eyes as he asks, "Can you stop wearing your contacts?"

Definitely fucking not .

I wouldn't know how to adjust to the world without them, Marlo's voice would be in my head every time someone looked in my direction. I'm silent to stop the memories and Dima remains above me, watching me so there are three moons in my line of sight. One in the sky that has always been there and two in Dima's head, all three telling me they're never leaving.

"Just around me?" he asks even softer.

I hesitate. I want to be me, this is the first chance I have and he's smiling at me not Ana.

Unease chokes me, a golf ball forming in my throat making my voice too quiet. "Yeah."

The smile doesn't leave his face and he slowly moves forward. I quickly tuck my chin to my chest to get away from whatever's going to happen. I shouldn't have stayed on the roof; he can throw me off and I won't be able to stop him. But he doesn't follow me, he moves up and presses his lips to my forehead with gratitude.

"Thank you, lisichka."

He's speaking as though it's something to be honored instead of sinister. He's immune to the evil inside of me or Marlo and Yulia were lying. No, they couldn't be. The clients said the same thing and one of them even fainted when they saw my eyes.

He moves back, clearing his throat, and I restart my book while staring up at the sky. I forgot what part it was up to and my lips twitch hearing the human shouting at the alien. Dima is annoying and keeps disturbing me with his stupid mouth. "Do you like reading books?"

Yes, when I'm left alone to actually fucking enjoy them .

It stops the quiet and I get to leave this planet and go to a different one, there's no Yulia and I'm not searching for someone who might be dead.But I say, "Yes."

I press pause and he nods to himself, but he keeps fucking talking, "Which ones? I'll buy them."

I can't carry books with me all the time, they're too heavy and they'll get damaged in my bag. After wearing contacts all day, and sometimes all night, it hurts my eyes when I stare at the pages.But I ignore him, so he shuts up.

Every time he stops me pressing play, the urge to throw him off the roof increases. One quick shove and I'd be able to get back to my relaxation. He opens his mouth, again, and my foot moves before he can utter a word. He slides against the tiles as I kick his leg and his face falls around his cursed scrambling. "Oh shit."

Doing it again because it's funny, he wraps his hand around my ankle to stop me doing it a third time.I'm quicker than him and pull myself up, forcing his hand away. He's still holding onto the tile as I go back inside. He's faster than he looks and follows me, wrapping his arm around my middle as we get inside, and he grabs my jaw so I'm flat against his chest. There's no heat to his words as he walks us forward.

"You trying to kill me, hellion?"

He wouldn't die, probably break a few bones at the worst.Dropping all my weight down until my ass touches the floor, he's still too slow and I manage to free myself. I'm smug as I turn around and declare myself the winner. "You can't beat me."

I've won all of my fights, the one tomorrow will move me up to better opponents and I fill with excitement knowing I'll be worse than Vlad and Dima soon. Both of them dominate the cage, it isn't even purposeful. Dima is precise and focused when he fights, and I'll beat him to get the top spot.