CHAPTER TEN

"You can drop me off around the corner," I tell Killian. "I'll walk the rest of the way. It's only three blocks to my shop."

"No."

My lips twitch, unease twisting my insides. It has nothing to do with passing by Georgia's pink, immaculate shop, and everything to do with sitting in a car with Killian.

It's why I'm fidgeting in my seat. Why one of my hands tugs at the soft material of my pink skull dress, the other patting one of my two space buns nervously.

Not for dragging him through Manhattan's unforgiving morning traffic.

I'm in a confined space next to a man whose dick I sorta saw last night. My boyfriend's stepfather.

It's beyond messed up and heinously wrong.

Even if Carter was more than okay with it.

If I had any doubts, they evaporated when I woke up to his note saying, You're the kinky light of my life, scribbled in his elegant handwriting.

My baby. Both my holes are sore from how he fucked me last night.

From what we did.

While we talked about Killian. While he watched.

I'm not ashamed of it. I wanted it.

After years of being belittled by my parents, I'm done being ashamed of who I am. I know that. Carter knows that. That's why he keeps reassuring me we're keeping our relationship a secret because of work. That we have to lay low when we're in the hotel so no one gets the wrong idea and thinks he's nice.

Brain, stop bouncing around. We're in the middle of a conversation here.

"I feel guilty that Carter made you take me in this traffic." My fingers now turn to assault the strap of my yellow floral handbag. My cheeks burn hot. "Please, just drop me off. Even here. It's fine."

"It's not fine. You were assaulted last night. They didn't catch the guy." Killian's deep voice and concern soothe my worried heart by some. "I care about keeping you safe. Carter was right to ask me to drop you off and I'm happy to do that. Once you're there, Opal will be with you, right?"

My employee. The one I could afford, thanks to the large orders that Voltage makes.

"Yes, she's coming in today."

"Good," he ends the discussion.

He might be done. Me… A little less so.

"It makes no sense." I let go of my poor space bun, flexing my fingers in my lap. "It's just a few blocks away. There's no use for you to be stuck…" I wave my hands to the creeping traffic. "Here."

"I'm not stuck. I don't give a damn about traffic when you might be watched by someone." His sharp jaw and intense eyes don't steer from the road. "It's a good time as any to tell you we're taking precautions. I texted my guy to take down your camera in the shop and install new ones. They'll be connected to an app on our phones. You'll be safe."

A screaming taxi driver flips his middle finger at someone. He captures my attention for a brief moment. Only a brief one.

"I'm grateful." I seethe, choosing my words carefully. I like talking to Killian. What I don't like is when they do stuff behind my back. Take control of my life. "But call them off."

"I won't." He stares straight ahead, his lips twitching. "That's final."

Here, in the passenger seat of Killian's car, I have front-row seats to the eyes that haunt me in my dreams. The eyes that bore holes in Carter and me yesterday. They're deep and commanding, and I'm an inch from losing my resolve.

"My parents were controlling assholes." My words are half plea, half demand. "Carter is a controlling sweetheart. I like that. Don't make me regret liking him."

Don't make me regret moving in. I really fucking like living with the two of you.

"Not calling the guy off. This man was the last one who will ever lay a finger on you. Next time, we'll have the police there in a matter of minutes." Killian flexes his long fingers on the wheel. "We're the only ones who'll have access to the camera app. It's for your own safety."

He glances at me, quirking an eyebrow. Challenging me to refuse again. The small movement has my mind wandering. I'm hot all over.

When he switches his attention to the road, I keep staring at Killian. At the man who was a part of Carter's and my night.

Both of them work out. Their bodies are those of two sculpted gods, except Killian packs a little more muscle than his stepson does. His large frame fills the black leather seat. If I hadn't known better—and maybe I don't—I'd believe the manufacturer molded the seat to Killian's measurements.

The black tailor-made suit sits on him like a second skin, although the clothes aren't what's grabbing my attention.

Hello, new ink.

I haven't spent time alone with Killian, let alone had the chance to ogle him this freely. Maybe this isn't new. Maybe I haven't had the chance to look long enough to see the hints of his tattoo climbing from beneath his collar.

My curiosity rises and envelops me. I sink my fingernails into my palm. A meek attempt to force down the fucked-up urge to slip my fingers between his skin and his suit and take a peek.

I mean, he did have a view of every part of me last night. It's only fair that I get to check out what ink the mysterious Killian Murdock tattooed to his skin.

I wish I'd find Carter's name there.

That'd be so. Hot.

In the corner of my eye, I see a red car squeezing past us and almost causing an accident.

Killian hits the brakes and mashes his finger to the wheel, and the horn blares.

"What the fuck?" I yelp. Then add, "Asshole!"

"Motherfucker," Killian hisses behind clenched teeth, cutting his eyes to mine. "Are you okay?"

My focus should be on his face. Instead, I'm drawn to his hands on the wheel. I notice the broken skin on his knuckles. Last night's events must be the reason I've missed the scraped skin.

Today, I notice. My God, I love the rugged look. Carter gets those lacerations when he boxes without gloves at their building's gym. Did he convince Killian to give it a try?

These men are too hot to be real. When the three of us would be together, I—

"Hey, beautiful girl." Killian's eyes search mine while he ignores the other drivers honking at us. "Are you hurt?"

Right. Where was I?

"I'm fine. About the cameras, Killian, don't do it. Last night, the man who attacked me waited for me to be home. No one would attack me at my shop." The more I talk, the more worked up I get. He can't decide to switch from growling at me to controlling my life. He can't. "Thanks, but no thanks."

His dark brown brows pinch in concentration. Lost between navigating through traffic and the conversation he's having in his own head.

The lengthy silence ensues. We're almost at my shop. Almost out of this awkward morning-after-yet-not-morning-after talk. The first real one I had with Killian.

I want out. I want to stay here forever.

The polar needs mix and mingle inside my heart, bombarding my senses.

Needing to find an outlet for my hyper-awareness of everything Killian, I squirm in my seat.

Carter would've handled this situation far better than I do.

"This isn't open for discussion," Killian deadpans. "I—We need you safe. You're family. We take care of our own."

The way he talks to me like I belong. To Carter and him. I'm sure he means it like family, but holy hell. He exerts strength control and comfort. Much like Carter, and yet so different.

I bet they'd look beautiful together. Two sides of the same coin. Stroking. Exploring each other's bodies. Fucking raw and ordering me to join them.

Heat pools between my thighs. I'm breathing hard. The radio is off and Killian must hear every labored inhale. Every shuddered exhale.

I bite the inside of my cheek to silence myself.

My nipples aren't as easy to control, so I cross my arms over my chest.

The sudden movement causes Killian to whip his head to me.

Wrinkles form on his forehead. A frown curves his lips downward. His hand twitches on the steering wheel.

Finally, he breaks the silence. "Are you cold?"

"I, uh…" My inability to lie to Carter and evidently to Killian as well turns out to be a real fucking inconvenience. So I change the subject. "I'm not cold. And you owe me an answer, Killian." Emboldened by my own damn self, I charge forward. "An answer I'll like."

He barks a short laugh at the same time a guy runs across the road. Some people here have a serious death wish.

Killian hits the brakes again. Thankfully, we've been lugging forward at a snail's pace, so no one got hurt. I didn't even feel the seat belt.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah." My answer comes with a scowl.

"Hmm," he muses. "So, an answer you'll like."

He doesn't rush to lift his foot off the brakes. Especially since we have a red light waiting for us three feet ahead.

It doesn't matter to the man behind us. He doesn't stop honking.

"Excuse me." Killian turns to look over to the side where the honking man pulls up to.

By the time he stops next to us, Killian has his tinted window lowered and his attention zooming on the other man.

I only see the back of Killian's head, but I'd say the other dude received one serious death glare.

You're fucked, fucker.

As he should, the Escalade dude whips his gaze in the other direction. So scared he doesn't even apologize.

The fear Killian instilled in him reminds me of what Carter did to poor Bradley. I didn't like that he scared the poor clerk. I couldn't deny how hot it was, either.

Now, I'm tempted to join the fun. Stick my tongue out at the man who can't see me anymore.

"Stop being an embarrassment, Amara,"I hear Dad in my head. "We can't take you anywhere. We don't give someone the finger when you're the problem. Stop cutting your steak with the wrong goddamn knife. Maybe then no one would want to throw up when they look at you."

I'm not ashamed of who I am, that belief still stands. But, yeah, Killian isn't Carter. He wouldn't think I'm the cutest thing ever. He'd think I'm immature. That I'm not ready for…

For what?

"Okay. I won't have cameras installed in your shop." Killian surprises the heck out of me when he says that.

My eyebrows shoot up. "Really?"

This feels strangely easy. Too easy. A minute ago, he was being a control freak. He's never struck me to be the one to bend to anyone's will. Much less mine.

"Yes, really." One nod. Firm and decisive.

The light turns green. Killian doesn't move. No one else does, anyway, with the traffic and all.

Then his eyes land on my wounded temple like they had last night.

Killian's brow creases, his dark gaze softening. There's sadness and possessiveness in his dark features. A moment later, his teeth grind, and a vein bulges in his neck.

My limbs weaken, and my heart stops as his hand rises in slow motion.

Same as yesterday.

Only difference is, I'm not confused by adrenaline and exhaustion.

I'm present. Every part of me is.

"That son of a bitch." Killian cups my cheek, smoothing his thumb over my bump. It's as if he's being reminded of his anger all over again. "Does that still hurt?"

My skin prickles beneath his touch. My eyelashes flutter.

Is this what you dreamed of? Being our sweet, used hole? Carter's words from last night slash through the cloud of lust I'm under.

My dream of the two of them was enough of a betrayal. Carter told me he loved it. His dirty talk and our dirtier sex proved as much.

But he's not here. And that's not okay.

I'll drive an icepick through my eye and into my brain before I ever betray Carter. I won't cheat on him. Won't do anything remotely close to cheating on him. Even in my head.

"I'm good. It doesn't hurt." I rear back, putting some much needed distance between me and Killian. My hand flies up to where his has been on an impulse, and I angrily return it to my lap. "I'm good. The frozen peas helped."

"Okay." He nods once, leaning back into his seat. "I'm sorry I couldn't have been there to help Carter…fuck that guy up."

The intersection opens up, and we trudge forward. There she is. My shop to our right.

I'm itching to get back to my normal life. Open the glass doors, waltz inside my shop. Smell the flowers, greet each and every one of my plants. Same as I've done for the past four years.

I'm not scared someone might hurt me there. It's my shop. It doesn't belong to the asshole who attacked me. I won't give him the power over me. Fuck that.

"Killian," I say as I look at the yellow taxis, limos, old cars, and SUVs ahead of us.

"Yes, Amara?"

Not beautiful girl. Not a huff of angry air. Not a grunt.

My name. Amara.

The shivers it sends up my spine make me shudder. I pinch my eyes shut, scolding myself while building a wall around me. There'll never be the three of us. Never.

There'll always be a Carter and me.

"You're sure it's okay for me to move in?" I scrunch my nose, fretting over what his answer might be, but needing it anyway. "I'll never tell Carter if the answer is no. My apartment is safe. Most days. I'll install better locks on my door, it should—"

"Amara." There goes my name again. I close my eyes to protect myself from the impact of his gaze that I sense on my skin. "Look at me."

I stifle a groan and peek at him.

At the fierce energy both he and Carter radiate. While Carter has his sexy maniac glint, Killian's power is a dark, heavy one.

That does it. I'm telling Carter I'm allergic to the Bentley's leather later today. Anything to avoid this from repeating itself.

"I didn't fucking order you to move in to please Carter. I meant it."

Holy.

My stupid mouth has the words Okay,Daddy about to leave it. They literally sit on the tip of my tongue as I stare into his fiery glare.

Uh, yeah. No way am I saying that.

I sigh instead.

"You're not a burden, never have been. It's safe with us. I refuse to have either of you leave." He practically glowers at me. "Understood?"

Beeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeep.

Killian doesn't blink. Doesn't twitch a muscle as he waits for my response.

"Understood?" Killian repeats. Slowly. Menacingly.

Uh, wow. Who knew you needed to be such a badass to run a hotel?

Focus, Amara!

"Yes." I nod.

"Good."

Two minutes later, Killian pulls over in front of my shop.

"Thanks for the ride," I tell Killian with my hand on the door handle. "And for letting me crash."

"You're moving in, not crashing," he reminds me as I unfold myself from the car, grabbing my bag.

"It's temporary." It's my turn to remind him.

Killian doesn't answer. I see it as my cue to slam the door and head to work. I'm halfway to my shop when I hear the Bentley's window rolling down.

I stop, but I don't turn to him, too scared of what might come next. Scared of how much I want it. How much I want Carter here for it.

"Amara." His stern tone forces me to look over my shoulder. "Stay safe, beautiful girl."

With another nod, I clutch the strap of my bag tighter. I unlock the door of my shop to the sound of a rumbling motor. Of a car pulling out and onto the road.

Surrounded by my flowers, I'm finally able to breathe.