44. Epilogue Anastasia

FORTY-FOUR

Epilogue: Anastasia

six months later

I hate Vitali. I’m going to hide his food or get him banned from his favorite burger place. Being the center of attention was always my way of going unnoticed because no one cares about the loudest voice in the room. Now all eyes are going to be on me. A day where I should have my family all teary-eyed smiles and sniffles but there’s no one.

My mother has fucked off to parts unknown since her creepy-ass husband was killed and branded, I’d rather drink piss than be cordial with Marta, and Vitali’s need for the wedding of his dreams means I’m walking alone.

I blow out a steadying breath and push my feet forward. My shaky hands are hidden with the ridiculous bouquet; it’s pretty and has a soft scent, the same peonies I used to point at when I was a child and hiding in the gardens of Inessa’s house because I didn’t want to go home. Everything the old me imagined is on my body; the dress has changed from a large princess gown to an off-the-shoulder silk dress with lace inlays. The split has me dropping my hands, not wanting anyone’s fucking noise to interfere with my current nerves.

I didn’t put up a fight. He’s planned everything and the large cathedral is the same one used for all Bratva weddings. Why didn’t he listen to my jokes about going to Vegas? That plan would be better than me going through this shit.

I remind myself for the thousandth time that the puppy will be happy and that’s enough to make my next step easier.

Until I reach the church entrance hall, alone, and my exhale shakes as I wait for the doors to open. It’s fine, I’ll walk the short distance by myself. It’s only walking, done that plenty of times. People will talk shit about my family but then we’ll go home, we’ll be insulated, and they can choke on their opinions.This is the last thing I’ll ever have to do without Vitali at my side.

The doors open and I don’t move. It’s not overflowing with guests, and I do have family. They are the only people sitting in the pews around the very few friends Vitali has invited. I take one step, and I have to force myself not to run away when Vlad and Valentin step away from the sides of the door they were bracketing to stand at my side. Each of them escort me down the aisle more like bodyguards than whatever they were attempting to pull off. It’s unconventional as fuck, Dani is standing beside Vitali with Kristi at her side and Inessa is at the other side, at least she’ll know what I had to go through during her wedding.

Tali’s hands are clasped together in front of him but the smile on his face is hurting my cheeks it’s so wide. The sight of him makes it less nerve wracking to continue walking. There are three steps up until I’m beside him, but the excited puppy can’t stay still as he rushes down them, and pulls me closer while sealing our lips together. It’s out of order for other people but it’s right and I relax. If it was any other way, any other person, I’d have run away. The thought of running away from him is the equivalent of having to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Whistles sound around us, and he leans back as he grabs my hand with an unneeded threat. “No escaping me now.”

He drags me with him and stands proudly opposite me as he gestures to the priest. “Crown us.”

He doesn’t let go of my hand or look away from me as he breaks all the traditions to remain opposite me. His smile gets wider as I repeat our vows. “I am marrying Vitali Marlenovich Vartanov of my own free will. I have not been promised to another nor do I belong to another.”

I’m sure he’s going to need a nap with the amount of energy vibrating under his skin as he mouths ‘ You are mine’.

It’s a fitting vow considering the truth in the statement. No one comes close to Vitali, and it is only him, it will only ever be him.

two years later

I leave my cave to go on the hunt for Vitali when he’s been quiet for too long. It’s always a warning sign and I hear him before I’m even on the last step of the stairs. The soft sing-song comes from the kitchen, and I follow the sound.

“Papa loves...”

Our daughter loves singing that song, it’s made up to a tune that only exists in both of their heads and the second line never changes. I’m creeping on them, standing at the edge of the kitchen because if there was one thing that made me fall more in love with my husband it’s watching him be the best father to our little girl.

He loves everyone like it’s the easiest thing in the world and it’s no different now as he stands Natalya on the counter while he pretends to think about his answer.

“Talya?”

She claps to herself, eighteen months old and she’s so easily entertained – exactly like her daddy.

He lowers his voice so it doesn’t carry through the house as he does his part, “And Natalya loves…”

She can’t see me, but she jumps up and down, screaming, “Mama!”

He cups the back of her head as he stares into her eyes, repeating himself with less enthusiasm.

“And Natalya also loves…”

She looks around, not realizing he wants to hear her say him and gets even louder.

“Cookies!”

He grumbles to himself and curses under his breath but there’s nothing other than love in his eyes.

“Your mother’s daughter through and through.”

Idiot. She may be my double physically with her lighter hair and her darker eyes, but her personality is 100% Vitali – down to the fact she reaches for his burger and they take alternating bites. She hums to herself with every bite, and he leans against the counter as he holds it out to her. When she’s waiting for her dad to finish his bite, she creates a new song as she rubs her belly.

“Talya love burger.” She hugs Tali’s hand as he holds it at her mouth and tries to unhinge her jaw to get a bigger bite but she barely makes a dent. The song doesn’t stop once she’s chewed and she rubs her dad’s belly as she sings, “Papa love lots and lots of burgers.”

He playfully grabs her face with his palm under her chin and squeezes her cheeks as he plants a noisy kiss on her forehead.

“Papa loves you, my little cookie monster.”

“And Mama?” she mumbles with her cheeks pushed in.

He acts scandalized and rears back. “Obviously, your mama is perfect and you are just like her.”

She preens under his praise and her body melts as he holds her face up. If Tali is a puppy, Natalya is like a teacup version as she whispers, “Perf-it like Mama.”

He stands her up with his arm around her so she’s leaning against his chest as they begin eating again. On their next rotation, he holds the burger out of her reach and tries to force our sweet girl to join his evil side.

“If your mama asks, did you have a burger?”

Her shouting “yes” forces out my laugh and I don’t want to be caught yet so smother it with my hand. She can’t lie to me for shit: as soon as I put her down for her nap, she’ll spill every secret, even if they’re not hers. Any fear I had of being my own mother was unfounded, my daughter is perfect, and I’d never be able to put her down or fill her head with toxic bullshit.

She’s never going to be afraid of me or my reaction, she has her own life, her own choices to make, and if I’m lucky I’ll do my part right so hers are easier.I’ll never control what she eats but the burgers are filled with grease and he feeds her one every single day which isn’t healthy since she’s so young.

The house fills with noise as the other kids get home from school and I stop lurking before they can out me as Vasy and Dom run through the house, and they nearly drown out the shithead.

“What’s the right answer, baby girl?”

Asshole, he knows she isn’t going to lie to me.

Natalya straightens her shoulders, wearing a dopey grin full of pride in herself as she says, “Talya had burger.”

I pick her up from her father’s corrupting influence and steal his burger for good measure.I’ve only taken one bite when his jaw drops, eyes going wide and he pulls us into his arms. His lips press against my cheek then my shoulder as he flattens his hand on my stomach and whispers, “You’re pregnant?”

It was the same with Natalya, I needed to eat. All the time. His genes crave food, the unhealthier the better, but I don’t answer and drop his burger on the counter before I walk away to put baby girl down for her nap. Vasy slams a stop in front of us and looks up at his cousin, tickling the bottom of her foot as he asks me, “Is it her nap time?”

I nod and soften my voice as I move his hair out of his eyes. “Yeah, you can play later, okay?”

Tali’s panic is audible as Dom enters the kitchen and he snaps, “Fuck, no. Stay away from me, child of Satan.”

I look down at Vasy and narrow my eyes as he smiles and bats his lashes like he’s innocent.

“Vasy, don’t do it,” I say.

They both attack Tali whenever they can and he’s as manipulative as his dad for distracting me. Every time I think one of my nieces or nephews is being cute, their ulterior motives are shown, reminding me that they’re all Vartanovs.

High-pitched, manic giggling echoes around the kitchen and I turn to see Vitali grab Dominik, picking him up with one arm around his shoulders, and hauls him to the sink as he says, “I’ll get the demon out of you.”

He lifts Dom so his head is over the sink and runs the water to give him a fake exorcism.

“Tali! Put him down,” Dani seethes as she storms into the house covered in clay. She leaves a muddy handprint on his shoulder as she smacks him and saves her son who is still laughing.

“What were you planning?” I ask Vasy since there’s no matches or knives in the kitchen — which are their usual weapons — after Inessa got rid of them all.

The little shit laughs and a shiver works up my spine as he lifts his eyelids and folds them over. “This, Val taught us how to do it.”

Natalya fits in with her family despite her sweet disposition because she laughs too. It’s creepy as fuck and I hold my hand in front of his face. “Okay, don’t do that again, your eyeballs will dry out.”

It’s a lie, I don’t think it will happen, but the sight of it is nasty. He keeps laughing until the office door opens and he quickly swipes his hand over his folded eyelids before his dad can see what he’s doing. Kissing the top of Natalya’s foot, he scrunches his nose up at her and whispers, “Sweet dreams, little baby,”

I lower her so he can kiss her cheek as per his tradition before someone goes to sleep. Vlad doesn’t pull him away, he studies his son to gauge what he’s planning and waits for him to go to his side. There’s one thing I will never get used to the sight of and it’s watching him be semi-human around his children, so I don’t watch them as baby girl waves over my shoulder to get her uncle’s attention and says, “Bye bye, Talya do nap then do B-raids?”

He must nod because she confirms that he’ll do her hair when she wakes up and makes up gibberish instead of a time as I step into the elevator.

“Naps for flippity then B-raids.”

As always Vitali follows me, and heat covers my back. He stretches both arms around me, one hand on my stomach and the other going to our daughter’s back as she lays her head on my shoulder, singing to herself, “Talya love Mama.”

She wraps her arms around my neck and finally gives her dad what he wants.

“Talya love Papa.”

Vitali rests his chin on my other shoulder and kisses my cheek to hide his sing-song as we turn to face the correct way.

“Mama loves…”

I push my ass back against him and he lets out a small laugh before pulling my T-shirt up, so his hand is on my bare stomach. His soft sing-song continues as he cups my still flat stomach.

“Papa loves Mama.” He kisses my cheek and cups the back of our daughter’s head. “Papa loves baby, Talya, and the new baby.”

She picks her head up at the sound of her name and brings her little hands to each of our cheeks as she softly orders, “Mama give Papa mwah.”

I turn my head and kiss Vitali’s cheek and he pulls us closer to his chest.

“Papa give Mama mwah.”

He noisily kisses my cheek, and she sighs like it’s the best thing she’s ever witnessed before she says, “An’ kisses for Talya.”

She puckers her lips, looking down her nose to see if she’s doing it properly as we both give into her, and the doors open. Tali doesn’t let go of us as we get out, and our baby girl lays her head back on my shoulder to play with my hair. I can’t break the habit of dyeing it and her hair is a few shades darker than my natural color. But I will never allow anyone to make her hate a single part of herself, it will only ever belong to Natalya. Her choices and her own voice in her head.

Her room is ridiculously decorated, between her dad and uncles, she will never want for a single thing. There’s a designer handbag on proud display beside her bed to match her cousins’. All three of them look comical with the bespoke designer-wear filled with things children find importance in, but Natalya hides her cookies in hers. Vlad is the only one brave enough to swap them out when she’s not looking so she doesn’t make herself sick with stale treats.

She’s a good baby and she doesn’t even murmur as I get her ready for bed with Vitali stuck to my back. She lays herself down and smiles up at us as her long lashes droop.

“Talya loves Papa and Mama.”

I kiss her cheek and Vitali copies me as she whispers her secrets. “Talya had Papa burger. Was yummy.”

“Little snitch,” he mutters.

“Papa give me and Vero cookies. But have milk so Talya no cough.”

She hums cookies to herself and smiles exactly like her father. I’m certain that Vitali has made her love food more than people so she’s never interested in anyone beyond what they can put on her plate. He’s already tried to teach her to bite everyone who isn’t family while her uncles were teaching her how to throw a punch. Even Viktor was in on it. He dragged mattresses into the living room so she didn’t hurt herself then began teaching his sister and cousins how to take someone down.

Before we leave I make sure her nightlight is on in case she sleeps longer and I’m about to go back to my cave to find the information Vanya wanted, but Tali doesn’t let me. Instead, he pulls us into our room and as soon as the door closes he turns me to face him and cups my face with both hands.

“How you feeling, sweetness? Sick? Tired?”

He became extra attentive when I was pregnant with Natalya, and I kiss his cheek as I wrap my arms around his middle, reassuring him that I’m fine.

“I’m okay, Mama loves Papa too.”

He abruptly lifts me off my feet so fast that I squeal and kisses my neck as he blindly walks us to the bed with his voice deepening.

“Say it again when I’m inside you.”

My head touches the sheets with a laugh despite knowing he’s serious. It will never change and there’s no fear of Vitali being taken from me. His psychotic ass is mine and I’ll never run so far from him that it’s impossible to chase me.