Chapter Twenty-Five Rosemary

Cantor was a somewhat ridiculous choice for my first seduction and I knew it. Yet there he was in the kitchen and here I was without a brother to judge me.

Besides, I thought Cantor might actually already like me a little bit. So even if he didn't strike me as the type to fall all over himself at a glimpse of cleavage, or a hint of thigh… maybe I could make him care for me in his own way? He had been very nice to me, even when he thought I was a beta. He also seemed to be the most gentle, the least terrifying of the pack.

Of course that just meant he was the least useful in terms of getting me out of this bond, but I had to start somewhere.

The huge, gangly man said nothing as he led me into the dark forest. His white-blond hair gleamed in the gloom like foggy moon.

His warm, calloused hand holding mine and his scent in my nose kindled a warm glow of comfort in my chest. If not for that, I might have been scared he was leading me to a shallow grave.

Instead he led me to a tiny clearing, full of blooming wildflowers. The same yellow blossoms that had been waiting in my room.

The alpha dropped my hand, but only to pick me a bouquet so lovely I wanted to take it home with me, press it in a book and keep it forever. The impulsive, dreamy thought scared me. It made me want to drop the bundle of flowers right that second, but at his prompting I pressed my nose into them instead, and was hit again by the beautiful floral tone of his hayfield scent.

How could something be so comforting and so frightening at the same time? I peeked at his throat as I sniffed, finding the silvery bond mark there, where one of his packmates had bitten him. No matter how much I liked this alpha, he was a part of the Phoenix Pack. Some poisons were very sweet, but they were deadly all the same.

But, then there were the birds. I finally realized, as a tiny blue wretch stole my last scrap of bread, that perhaps I was the one being seduced here. He was doing it entirely without words, merely presenting me with natural delights, with secrets I suspected no one else had ever been privy to, because they never bothered to look.

So, when Cantor earnestly asked me if he could kiss me, I hesitated. Not because I didn't want to… but because I wanted it too much.

I hesitated so long, doubt and loss filled his pale green eyes, along with a quiet acceptance of my choice that seduced me more effectively than a thousand fancy meals by candlelight.

The big, pale alpha was turning away from me, when I placed my hands on the sides of his face, turned him back to meet my eyes, and then kissed him.

It had been a long time since I'd kissed anyone. The alphas and betas my father invited into his home weren't much interested in anything that could be done without a cock involved. All my kisses had been forced, perfunctory things, or awkward adolescent exploration.

This kiss was sweet and dry, a mere pressing of lips, but still somehow thrilling. I drew away from him and smiled into his delighted eyes.

"You can kiss me, Cantor," I said, somehow breathless. "Kiss me however you like."

Since I was lost in his eyes, I saw the moment they changed, filling with something sharper, more predatory than I would ever have expected from this man. His scent thickened, blooming with a richness closer to fresh cut grass than dried hay. His tongue darted out as if to taste the air, and then he pounced.

His lips caught mine, tongue quickly slipping between my shocked lips to lick inside my mouth. I made a small, startled sound that only made the man press harder into me, devouring my mouth like I was nectar of the gods and he was on the verge of death.

It was so sudden, so at odds with my mental picture of Cantor, that I shuddered for a moment on a knife's edge of shock. My body lit up with something painful, tilting over a pit of fear, then pitching back and falling instead into excitement.

Meeting his kiss, I tried to match it, tentatively stroking his tongue with my own and drinking in his delighted moan at the sensation. His hand slid into my hair, fingertips stroking, sending shivers down my already jittery body, and then he fisted his hand at the base of my scalp and gently pulled my head back so he had easier access to my mouth. I felt that pull all the way down to my core, and a burst of slick drenched my already questionable underclothes.

I saw his nostrils flare as he drew back, releasing his hand from my hair, and then staring at it, and then at me in horror.

"I…I'm sorry, Starling, I should have asked…"

"You did ask," I said, frowning, my body aching for him to continue.

No, wait, should we continue? I was supposed to be seducing him, right? Not the other way around. Kissing was… way further than I expected to get so quickly, but I had to remain in control.

I didn't feel like I was in control.

"I asked if I could kiss you, not if I could touch your hair," he said, and I felt my nose scrunch up as I tried to understand why he was upset. The man was an alpha. I honestly thought the fact that he even bothered to ask for the kiss was a show. A show that marked him as better than most because he bothered to get even the illusion of consent before taking what he wanted.

Cantor didn't seem to be acting though. He seemed genuinely upset.

I was failing as a seductress.

"Cantor, I… I didn't mind…"

He shook his head and I suddenly wondered if this was a result of him having pushed boundaries and upset someone in the past… or if someone else had pushed his boundaries, so he knew what it was like. The thought of someone taking advantage of my gentle alpha made anger flare in the pit of my stomach.

I shook it off. I had no reason to think that, right? No one took advantage of alphas. Not in this country. Maybe he just really cared about making sure I felt safe? Maybe Sinclair and Davos ordered them all to keep me happy.

That was probably it. He was worried about upsetting his packlead.

I grabbed his cheeks and made him look at me. The gesture would have felt ridiculous, his head huge and solid between my comparatively tiny palms, but he stared at me with such vulnerable wonder, I couldn't bring myself to question it.

"Cantor, I hereby give you permission to kiss me, to touch me, to use your hands and your mouth on my body…" Here I stuttered to a stop, my own cheeks heating, even as his cheeks burned under my fingers. Apparently my ability to be a brazen seductress only went so far.

"Do what you want to do, unless I tell you to stop."

I barely believed what I was saying, or even that I had to say it. Of course, he wouldn't stop if he really got into it, would he? This was just a farce, some kind of strange ego-stroking, one he'd force me to repeat again if he liked it, or would use to jab at me once I relaxed.

It didn't matter. I needed to get at least one of them on my side and sex was the only bartering chip I had. If that's what he wanted, then that was what I wanted too.

Never mind that something inside me was shivering in happy anticipation.

After a long moment during which we just stared into each other's eyes, his face hot between my hands, Cantor slowly turned it to the side and kissed my palm, then licked it, flicking out his tongue like a kitten lapping at milk, his eyes holding mine the whole time. My lips parted on a silent gasp.

"Anything I want?" He asked, his voice husky and his tongue so… and surely he didn't mean… but he was suddenly in front of me, kneeling between my legs as I sat on the log, his white hair shining in the morning light. He was so tall that our faces were level like this, and his hips forced my thighs wide as he pressed between them and kissed me again. This time his kiss was even more demanding, his lips dancing with mine, his tongue hot and dominant in my mouth. One hand returned triumphantly to the back of my head, cupping the base of my skull and driving me gently forward to meet the pressure of his mouth.

We kissed for so long that I lost myself, forgetting that this was scary, that I was vulnerable here, that I was trying to mold his man into a shield, not a mate. All that mattered was drinking from him. Sipping comfort and pleasure from his lips.

And then his other hand slid up, between my legs, under my skirts and into my underclothes.

I flew off the log without conscious thought, and was several paces away from him before I stopped myself. I stood there, shaking among the long grass and small yellow flowers, hardly able to breathe, my muscles rigid like stone.

"Little Starling…" He reached out to me, every line of him tense with shock.

I gasped in my breaths as if I had run a thousand paces instead of just five. Bending over I fought with my body, which was still screaming at me to run, but also screaming at me to go back and let the nice alpha touch me.

My ankle burned with missing weight.

"I… I think I'd like to go back to the fort now," I said and turned my face down so I wouldn't see the emotion swimming in his eyes.