Chapter Twenty-Seven Pax

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Pax

I drove southwest today. No real destination other than away. As far away as we could get. Like we could actually outrun any of this bullshit when it would only be waiting for us up ahead.

Every direction was fraught with peril.

Every road leading to our downfall.

I glanced to where she was curled up in the passenger seat.

Asleep.

For a moment, that beautiful face angled toward me was serene.

Lost to the smallest amount of that peace that I wasn’t sure she could ever find when she rested within Tearsith’s sanctuary. Her eyes had finally drifted closed just as the sun had breached the horizon and splintered the darkness with glittering white rays that had glinted over the expanse of snow that covered the Earth as we traveled.

She’d fought it, wanting to stay with me, before she finally let go when I’d whispered, “Sleep.”

The rest of our Laven family would have long since disappeared. Most awakened by now to walk through the day or still fighting in Faydor. She’d be alone, where she could find true respite from the darkness that hunted us.

Where, for a few hours, she could be removed from it.

Elevated from it.

Which was where I wanted to keep her.

All except for the twisted part of me that wanted to drag her into the depths of my own depravity. The part that wanted to give in to the way she’d looked at me while she tended to my wounds.

Like I could be everything to her if I’d just give in.

The woman was my ultimate temptation.

And fuck, that temptation was getting harder and harder to ignore. The way her fingers had felt when she gently traced them over one of the scars that littered my body. The way she’d whispered her care for me, a direct buoy to my disfigured soul. The part that wanted to turn myself over to the need that thundered through my blood whenever she was near.

It was the sick part of me that wanted to tear apart her innocence. Write myself all over it. Claim what was forbidden. This inkling at the back of my brain enticing me into believing she’d always been meant for me.

A tiny moan filtered from between her lips, and I clenched my jaw to fight the rush of lust that slammed into me at the slight sound, but there was no way to stop the way my stomach tightened into a fist of want.

You can’t have her.

I silently chanted it, driving it home and praying it would take root.

Aria was innocent.

Pure.

And I wasn’t fucking close to that.

I scrubbed a hand over my beat-to-shit face to break myself from the dangerous spiral of thoughts. I mean, fuck, she’d never even been kissed.

But that danger went so much deeper than marking her with the physical. Deeper than her innocence. Deeper than the life I’d led while awake.

It was this bond.

This bond that was so fierce and unrelenting that once our time together in the waking world was severed, I wasn’t sure how either of us would continue to stand. Experiencing the connection this way and then having it ripped from us.

I wasn’t sure how the fuck I would ever walk away from her.

Taking it further past the boundary I’d already overstepped would only make it a million times worse once the time to leave came.

A cut so deep and unbearable that it would leave a scar far worse than either of us had ever sustained.

Knowing it didn’t take away this feeling, though. The surge of possession I felt when she shifted in her seat, moaning again before she blinked open the palest gray eyes.

Face so pretty it pierced me in the chest. Mouth soft and plump and pink.

Everything about her was so familiar and warm and right that I had to force myself not to reach out and trace my fingertips down her cheek. Not to dip them in and take.

She stared for a moment before she turned her gaze away as heat rose to kiss her pale skin, like she’d borne witness to every salacious thought that had churned through my mind, and she sat up and stretched as she peered out the windshield.

“Where are we?”

The terrain had become flat, grasslands interspersed with small towns. The trees here were less dense, their branches spindly and barren in the winter cold.

“We’re getting close to Oklahoma City. I figured that’s where we’ll stop for the day. We need to rest. Shower and eat. Pick up supplies and get better clothes for you to wear. Maybe find another library to dig deeper into what we found yesterday.”

She looked down at the white tee she had on, which was smudged with my blood.

A reminder of what had happened last night.

Only it wasn’t the man who’d come for her that she immediately mentioned.

“I can’t get that little girl off my mind,” she whispered instead. “I almost thought when I closed my eyes and stepped into Tearsith, she would be there.”

Unease rattled through my consciousness. Still, I tried to play it off as inconsequential. “She’s not a part of our Laven family, Aria. Seeing her was just a coincidence.”

I didn’t know why it felt like a lie when it should be the truth. When it shouldn’t matter. But there was something about it that wouldn’t let me shake the disquiet, either.

“A coincidence? When I haven’t run into one single person like us in my entire life? Paired with the fact we met a human who recognized us as Laven yesterday?” Questions filled Aria’s voice, and I felt the weight of her peering over at me.

I couldn’t respond.

“Have you ever met one of us?” she pressed. “Someone from another Laven family? Or even seen one?”

My head shook. “No.”

Contemplating, she sat back, her teeth clamping on that full bottom lip. “There’s something about her that makes me believe she’s important.”

“There’s little chance you’ll ever see her again. She’s hundreds of miles away from us by now.”

Aria’s head barely shook, and I felt a rush of her hidden power flare. “I think I could ... feel her. Like she needed me.”

I couldn’t do anything but reach out and curl my hand over hers, which she had fisted on her lap. That fucking fire that wouldn’t dim burned up my arm at the connection. I gritted my teeth against the force of it while Aria vibrated beneath my touch.

“You can’t think about that right now. Right now, we’re fighting for you. We have to keep you safe so you can be there for those who do need you. God knows, those numbers are greater than either of us could ever comprehend. I need you focused on you right now.”

Her stare seared into the side of my face. “But that’s the thing, Pax. You and I both know this has never been about me.”

I heard her silent words come in behind them. The same as the ones I’d confessed to her last night. She’d already accepted her fate in all this.

“This world needs you.” My voice rasped with emphasis. “It needs you, and you have to remember that. There’s not going to be any surrendering or succumbing. You have to fight, and you have to fight with everything you have. You have to fight for you .”

Unease quivered through her body, and when she didn’t say anything, I tightened my hand on hers, words close to a growl. “Do you understand me?”

She finally squeezed back and whispered, “Yes.”

And I think we both knew it was going to be a fight to the death.

About an hour later, we got into the city. Weird, but I found some kind of twisted relief in it. Found my heart slowing as we eased into the maze of cars and people. It felt as though we might be able to disappear into the fray and get lost in the shuffle.

It was what I’d always done, because it seemed easier to blend in with the throng. I’d put my head down to keep myself hidden in the mix, though I wasn’t sure that was going to remain true with Aria and me together. And certainly not when it felt like every single person we crossed paths with might be a threat.

Still, I followed the directions on my phone, heading toward a Target located in the middle of the city.

I made a couple of turns until I was pulling into the store’s parking lot. Thankfully, the lot wasn’t that full.

I found an open spot, and Aria dragged a sweatshirt over her head, then ran her fingers through the matted pieces of her hair.

Disheveled with dark bags under her eyes, but she was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I didn’t realize I was staring at her until her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip and more of that redness splashed her cheeks.

“What?” she asked on an unsettled breath. “I’m a disaster, right? So much for blending in.”

She went to pull down the mirror. On instinct, I reached out and took her by the wrist. “No, Aria. You’re perfect.”

She froze.

We both did.

Caught in something that kept trying to sweep me under. Energy blazed through our touch. A fire that wrapped my arm in tendrils of flames.

Searing.

Scoring.

Magnified by the magic or whatever fucking power it was that hauled us away each night.

I finally released her because I couldn’t keep touching her without spurning my purpose.

I scanned through the windshield to make sure a threat hadn’t already met us here. When I found it clear, I cracked open my door. “Come on, Princess. Let’s find you something decent to wear.”

She let go of a surprised laugh, and fuck, I liked it, making her feel even a second of lightness in the middle of the turmoil.

When I stepped out, the air was crisp, but it was a whole ton warmer than it’d been on our previous stops. Aria lifted her face toward the warmth of the sun as she climbed out, inhaling deep, taking a minute to let it seep in and infiltrate.

I was at her side when she finally opened her eyes. “I think I love it here,” she breathed.

A smirk threatened as we started across the lot. I kept close to her side as we walked, never complacent in my watch, though I was playing it as easy as possible. “In Oklahoma City?”

A tiny smile flitted across her lips. “It feels easier to breathe. Like the world has opened up. Like I can see forever and the sky has no end.”

I think I got what she was getting at. The dense woods and soaring trees in New York had been beautiful but suffocating. Rising up and closing in. Gorgeous but disorienting cages you couldn’t see through.

I thought it was the way Aria always had to have been.

Caged.

Closed in because her parents had been terrified of her getting out.

“And that’s exactly what we’re going to find for you—a world without end. One with possibility.”

When I said it, she peeked over at me with affection on her face.

At her expression, little bolts of lightning ignited inside me in a firestorm of greed.

Fuck, it was painful not to reach out and touch her, but I kept it under lock and key, putting one foot in front of the other.

The doors swept open as we approached, and I grabbed a cart. We went directly to the toiletries. “Get whatever you need.”

Aria hesitated, reservations flying through her as she chewed at that decadent bottom lip. I didn’t think she had the first idea of what she was doing to me.

Finally, she asked, “How do you keep paying for everything?”

I’d never missed the way her eyes had creased in speculation every time I’d pulled out a wad of cash to pay for a motel room or food.

“Money is not an issue.” I couldn’t help but bite it out.

Confused concern twisted across her brow. Aria felt it. Sensed it. The undercut of what I’d said. I wasn’t ashamed of taking from the corrupt. Wasn’t ashamed of putting a permanent stop to their misdeeds so they didn’t have a chance to hurt anyone again. But I wasn’t sure that Aria could stomach the details of it, either. Or maybe I was only protecting myself. Because I didn’t want her to see who I really was. What came so easily for me.

“How is that?” she pressed.

Uncertainty gripped my chest, but I took one step closer to her, my words held in a whispered secret. A shallow piece I was offering because there were some things that I just couldn’t keep from her. Had a hunch that she had a direct view to them swirling like decay deep inside me, anyway.

“I take from those who only cause harm. Those who have no good left. Those I’ve stripped of their power because they use that power to inflict pain. Their greed is their ultimate demise.”

I knew it was cut with a warning, and I’d fully expected her to flinch. To back away. Instead, she blinked with a soft nod.

Like she fully got it. Understood it. Like maybe she approved of it.

We stayed that way. Too close. Breathing the other in.

Before I did something stupid, I cleared my throat and took a step back.

“You should probably grab the things you need.”

She stared at me for a beat longer before she gave a tight nod, and she began to load the cart with a bunch of girlie shit.

Scented soaps and lotions. Shampoo and conditioner. All of it coconut.

There was no stopping the amusement that tugged at my chest.

“Are you trying to smell like a tropical island?” My hands were fisted around the side of the cart as I stared over at her.

Black hair cascaded around her unforgettable face. Those striking eyes. My fingers tingled with the urge to reach out and trace over the scar by her chin when her smile tweaked at that side. Like the action had now become natural.

Her eyes swam, a toiling ocean of gray. “Don’t you ever want to run away, Pax? Run away and wake up in a different place?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

“But are we really going anywhere? I used to think when I was little that maybe if I went somewhere else, I wouldn’t end up in Tearsith.” Her attention dropped to her feet for a beat; then her voice filled with self-deprecation as she continued, “We went to Disney World once ... when I was seven. I cried the whole way because I didn’t want to go. Because I was afraid that when I went to sleep, you might not be there.”

She chewed at her bottom lip and peeked at me when she said it.

Memories of that time slammed into me. When we were young. When we were innocent. When I couldn’t wait to meet with her because she was my safe place. The place I’d go to escape the brutality of my childhood.

When I hadn’t understood anything except for understanding her.

The horrors of fighting in Faydor had almost erased that.

The innocence.

But Aria had never lost hers.

The girl was so fucking good.

“I remember,” I said, the vague memory fluttering at the back of my mind. Close to forgotten, where that time had been stored away. “I remember how you’d run out to hug me the second you saw me and said you were worried you’d never see me again. Only you would think going to Disney World was a punishment.” My voice went soft with the ribbing. A gentle tease. The affection growing far thicker than I ever should let it.

A pink blush kissed her cheeks, and she dipped her gaze before she turned it back on me, the softest smile playing on those lips.

So red they could drive a man to distraction.

“It would have been, had I never seen you again. But now ...” She trailed off as she turned to select a razor before she tossed it into the cart. “Right now, I almost wish that I could. After what happened last night? I wish I could go someplace, go to sleep, and I’d be normal like everyone else. Even if it was only for one night.”

Shame filled her admission, like she should feel an ounce of guilt for wishing it didn’t have to be like this.

“And this is where you’d go ... to a tropical island?” I wanted to ignite the dream. Her fantasy. Because this moment might be the only escape she could get.

“It seems like a good place. The warmth. The sun. The ocean breeze.”

“You’re going to need a bathing suit.”

I did my damned best not to imagine her in it.

She grinned at that. “I guess you’re going to need one, too.”

“Ah, you’d be taking me to this deserted island?” Playfulness ridged the question.

“Why would I want to go anywhere you’re not?” Her voice became a wisp. Severity curled through the connection and grappled to take hold.

I scraped a hand through my stark-white hair to break it up, and I glanced to the side, only to find a woman watching us from the corner of her eye. I didn’t feel any cruelness coming from her. No ill intent. No recognition like she was wondering where she’d seen us before, either.

It was just that uneasy awareness that we were different.

“We should move on,” I mumbled, and Aria peeked in that direction, sensing the woman, too.

But Aria seemed to do that with everyone we passed. Pausing for an undefinable moment. Held in their aura for a flash. Her spirit tangling with theirs for a beat. That power flowing and surging as she was subject to the voices in their heads.

She dipped her head in agreement.

We went to the pharmacy area, where we restocked on bandages and tape and medical supplies before going to the food section to toss in waters and snacks. We rounded up with the backside of the store to hit the clothing.

I was quick to grab a few things for myself before we headed into the women’s section.

“Is it warm where we’re going?” she asked.

“It’s no tropical island, Princess.” I sent her a smirk. She laughed under her breath. Low and throaty and so goddamn sweet.

“Dang, and here I had my hopes up,” she said as she started to hunt through the displays. She grabbed a few tees and bulky sweaters, three pairs of jeans, a pair of tennis shoes and socks, underwear and two bras.

I had to restrain the words from letting loose, tongue watering with the need to offer her my opinion on her selections. Because I was pretty sure black would look so damn good against her pale, milky skin, and I had to beat back my thoughts from spiraling that direction.

“You should get a jacket, too,” I told her.

I honestly didn’t know where we’d land or if we’d ever end up anywhere. How long this was going to last. The one thing I did know was sitting in one place for too long seemed like welcoming tragedy.

Pushing the cart, I followed her to the jackets and coats, and Aria peeled off her sweatshirt so she could try one on. She pushed her arms into it, pulling out her hair from the back as she turned to me.

“What do you think?”

It was black vegan leather and cropped, and she was just so perfect and right, her gaze open and unforgiving.

Vulnerable and unguarded.

Shy but wanting to be seen.

Because that cage had kept her from experiencing any of that.

Dating. Boyfriends. Kisses.

Pleasure, when we got so fucking little of it.

All while it made me fucking irate to think of someone else touching her.

There was no resisting rounding the cart, from taking each side of the jacket, bunching them in my hands and drawing them together at the chest. I tugged her toward me at the same second.

Our noses were close to touching, and the gasp she released was mine.

“What do I think, Aria?” My voice turned jagged. “I think you’re beautiful. And if I dreamed, I would dream of you.”

She exhaled a shattered breath, and I forced myself to step back. To let go. Knowing I was letting things fall from my mouth when I shouldn’t.

But how could I keep them from her?

“We should get out of here,” I said, returning to the cart. I started to wind it through the racks.

It took Aria a second to move, and she was peeling off the jacket and putting it into the cart when she caught up, her voice soft when she whispered, “I dream sometimes, Pax—and it’s always of you.”