21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

MILO

"Hey, come on in." I swing the door open and step back to let Zeke and Luther inside.

The snow from the blizzard melted to nothing over the past week of unseasonably warm weather, which I'm told is ‘very Wisconsin.' When Piston told me this morning that the guys were going to come over tonight for another bonfire before winter actually sets in, I figured it was the perfect chance to hang out with Zeke and Luther again.

"We weren't sure if we should come to the door or go around back. It sounds like there's a party in full swing back there," Zeke says.

"Well, there are a bunch of hot, mostly single bikers back there, so…"

Luther's eyes light up and Zeke grins.

"Then clearly we made the wrong choice coming to the door," Luther jokes.

"We can go out there if you want." I chuckle, then rake my fingers through my hair to get it out of my face. I'm overdue for a haircut. "But it's kind of… weird."

"Because Piston has to act all cold and distant so no one catches on to the fact that you're fucking?" Zeke gives me an understanding look.

I've been texting with both of them over the past couple of weeks since we met at The Grind, so they're fully up-to-date on my love life drama. I figured I owed them the truth about the whole thing after they helped me out like they did at the club. If they hadn't made Piston jealous, fuck knows how long it would have been before he'd given in to his feelings for me. It's been helpful to have friends to vent to about it as well.

After I crawled into Piston's bed last week and he fingered me within an inch of my life, he's given up trying to pretend he doesn't want this as badly as I do. I'm sleeping in his bed every night and sharing orgasms with him at least twice a day, but we don't talk about it. I haven't asked him if he wants to tell Hero, I haven't asked him if he sees this as something we're getting out of our systems or something potentially long term, and I definitely haven't asked if he's falling for me the way I'm falling for him.

I'm not sure I'm ready for any of the answers, especially when he looks like he wants to vomit every time Hero says something nice to him, which makes me feel guilty too. It's a fucking mess. A beautiful, sexy, complicated mess.

"We're not fucking," I grumble while they both take off their shoes. I guess we're staying in the house for now.

"Making each other come regularly," Luther amends, waving the distinction away like it doesn't matter.

My face heats a little and I smile. We're definitely doing that. Humping each other and sucking each other as often as we can. In the shower, in Piston's bed, on the couch, in the kitchen…

Zeke laughs and snaps his fingers in front of my face.

"Must be some highlight reel you've got running in your head right now."

"Like you wouldn't believe." I smirk. "You guys want something to drink?"

They both say yes and then follow me into the kitchen. While I rummage for glasses and booze, Luther hops up onto the counter, swinging his legs, while Zeke sits backward on one of the chairs near the table, folding his arms on the back of it and resting his chin on top of them.

"If you want my ten cents…" Zeke says.

"Ten cents?"

"Inflation," Luther says dryly.

I snort. "Alright, why not? Give me your ten cents."

"It makes sense to explore things before you put pressure on asking all the questions. Why stir shit up if you're not even sure there's something there beyond monkey lust? But at some point, you're going to need to figure out where you stand on everything. Otherwise, he's going to end up stringing you along, hoping all the complications just disappear or work themselves out."

Luther nods in agreement as I hand them both rum and Cokes.

"He'll end up keeping you in the friends-with-benefits zone if you let him, because it's easier," Luther says. "And that's fine if you're cool with it." He looks over at Zeke, who winks at him. "But don't settle for it if it's not what you want."

I take a sip from my drink and lean against the counter next to the refrigerator.

"Ugh, why are relationships so complicated?" I complain. "This is why I ended up a twenty-eight-year-old virgin."

" People are complicated, babe," Luther says wisely. "Take Zeke and me. We've tried dating and it was a fucking disaster, we tried just being friends and that was impossible, so now we just roll with it. We fuck each other, we fuck other people, we avoid labels because they only seem to make us both the worst versions of ourselves, and somehow it works."

This time Zeke is the one who nods, raising his glass in a wordless toast. Luther pretends to clink glasses from across the kitchen and they both drink to their arrangement, which to me sounds even more complicated and head spinny than the mess Piston and I are in. But hey, if it works for them, more power to them.

"Do you want more than just fooling around with Piston?" Zeke asks.

My stomach flips and my heart starts pounding immediately. Just like the highlight reel of sex my brain treated me to a few minutes ago, this time I get a barrage of different moments: Piston listening patiently to my rambling trains of thought and laughing with me rather than at me, Piston painting my toenails with that adorable look of concentration, Piston holding on to me like his life depends on it in his sleep…

Fuck yes, I want more than sex with him. I don't think that's ever been a question.

There are a hell of a lot of other questions though. Even outside of ‘how will my dad react?' and ‘what does Piston want?' there's the big unknown of how long I'll stay in Fall Crosse and what the rest of my future looks like. There are all the logistic questions of whether it's too soon for us to be living together if we start dating and whether our age difference will cause problems.

But none of those things change the ‘yes' my heart is tattooing with every hard beat against my rib cage.

"Mi, what are you—" Piston's voice cuts through my train of thought. He stops in the doorway, words dying on his lips as he looks between Zeke and Luther, then finally at me.

Is it bad that my cock responds to the spark of jealousy that heats his eyes and makes his jaw tick? I didn't invite them over to get him to get all bitey and possessive later, but I will definitely take that fringe benefit.

"You remember Zeke and Luther."

They both greet him politely and he grunts in response.

PISTON

Of course I remember Zeke and Luther. I try not to glare at them as memories of their hands all over Milo and the three of them grinding on each other flood my mind. If I hadn't snapped and dragged Milo home that night, would he have gone home with them? A possessive feeling tightens my throat and it's all I can do not to throw him over my shoulder and haul him to my bedroom to lay claim to him all over again. I want to suck bruises onto his skin somewhere visible, where Zeke and Luther and everyone else would see them and know Milo is mine. I want to make him come so hard he can't remember that anyone else even exists.

My thoughts must be written all over my face because a light blush rises in his cheeks and Luther clears his throat then fans himself.

"Oof, okay, if you two look at each other like that at work I can pretty much guarantee Daddy already knows you're banging."

I rear back like he just slapped me. My pulse thunders in my ears and I look over my shoulder to make sure Hero didn't just happen to come in behind me and hear that. Luckily, the hallway is empty behind me, the sounds of the party going on outside getting loud enough that I don't have to worry about our conversation carrying through the open windows.

"I don't look at him like that at work," I say gruffly, schooling my expression into one I hope is more neutral, even if there's apparently nothing to hide here.

Milo gives me a sheepish look. "Sorry. I swear I'm not blabbing to everyone about…" he makes a sweeping gesture and bites his lip. "You know."

"We're his besties, so it's natural he would tell us," Zeke says, tipping his glass back to gulp down half of his drink at once.

"Don't let Jag hear you say that." Milo laughs. "He seems weirdly attached to me. And dude is a little bit unhinged." There's fondness in his voice for our favorite batshit twink, and I can't help but smile back at him.

"It's fine," I assure him. The last thing I want Milo or his friends to think is that I'm a controlling asshole. Obviously, I'd prefer he not tell any of the guys because that's almost guaranteed to blow up in our faces, but I get the need to have friends to vent to.

It hits me that this is exactly the kind of thing I would usually talk to Arrow about, but I've been keeping it all to myself because the last thing I want is to put him in the position of having to lie to Hero too. He started this motorcycle club because he's so attached to the idea of us being like family, and here I am fucking it all up.

"So, did you just come in to ogle your man or what?" Luther asks.

I scoff. I didn't come in to ogle him. I thought he was alone in here and I came in to find out why he wasn't out at the fire with everyone else. If that impromptu search and rescue mission had ended in a couple of quick handjobs before I brought him outside so I could spend the rest of the night doing my damnedest to play it cool, then I wouldn't have complained.

My stomach twists. It definitely crossed my mind that maybe the reason Milo wasn't outside was because I was doing my damnedest to play it cool. When I was younger, I had plenty of situations with guys who were only into me behind closed doors. As I got older, I learned how to ferret out guys like that and avoid them. But now here I am doing the same thing to Milo. My reasons might be different, but I doubt that changes the sting of rejection.

I glance at Zeke and Luther, wishing they weren't here again, but this time less out of jealousy and more out of the deep, aching need to check in with Milo for real. Maybe they're not as bad as I initially assumed, because they seem to take the cue, both standing up.

"I know Luther is dying to meet some hot, single bikers," Zeke says with a grin, grabbing his hand. "We'll meet you out there." He doesn't move right away though, looking to Milo for confirmation first.

Milo nods and the two of them skirt past me and head out the back.

Even though I was wishing for this just a minute ago, silence hangs heavily between us the second we're alone. We haven't talked about anything serious since Milo came home drunk and I let him into my bed. We haven't talked about it because I still don't have a clue where we go from here. What I want is one thing, but what's possible, what's good for everyone else, what's best for Milo? Those are all the spots where I keep getting hung up and thinking myself in circles.

"I'm sorry," I manage to unstick my tongue and say.

Milo shrugs. "You warned me this would be complicated. I'm the one who pushed, so I can't exactly complain about it now."

He sets his nearly full drink down and runs his fingers through his hair, attempting to tame it but only making it worse. There's a carefree smile on his lips that I might fall for if it weren't for how guarded his eyes are.

"You can always complain." The words come out a little more harshly than intended, but I hate the thought of him thinking he has to deal with being unhappy, deal with only getting scraps from me, of him settling for anything and thinking he doesn't have the right to ask for more.

He crosses the kitchen but stops short of getting close enough to touch me. My fingers itch to reach across the space and drag him closer, but Hero's still right outside, and he could walk in at any minute.

"I didn't mean it like that. I know you care about how I feel." Milo looks like he's lost in thought for a minute before his smile relaxes into a more genuine one. "We don't need to hash this out in your kitchen while there's a party going on outside, but maybe it's time we talk about whatever this is."

Nerves explode in my stomach and my heart races. I knew this was coming, I just didn't expect that Milo would have the guts to bring it up before I managed to sort my thoughts out.

"Tomorrow?" he asks, clamping his lip between his teeth again.

I palm his chin and use my thumb to tug his lip free, soothing the pad over his damp, abused flesh.

One more day to figure out if this is worth risking my friendship with Hero over. Not just my friendship with Hero, but everything that's tangled up with it: our club, our friends, the business we own together. If he doesn't take it well, it's going to throw all of those other things into chaos.

The way my body buzzes and everything inside of me aches at the space we're still holding between us, I already know what my heart wants, I just don't know if I have the balls to claim it and deal with the consequences.

I swallow hard and drop my hand from his chin with a nod.

"Tomorrow."