30. Inessa

All of the alternatives to a wedding ring aren't what I want as I continue my search while Vlad does his plotting for world domination. I need it to scream, stay away from me. No one approaches me knowing I'm married to the devil, maybe I should just start killing people and then they wouldn't fucking flirt with him.

Continuing my search, I don't realize what I've clicked on until it loads, and my eyes go wide. Zooming in to the image to work out what goes where, the screen tilts and Vlad is standing over me with his face pinched in the middle when he realizes what it is.

"Why are you looking at dick piercings?" Shaking his head, he protectively cups his groin. "Why the fuck would someone get one?"

I snatch my phone back because I wasn't finished reading the article and he sits beside me, lifting my head onto his thigh.

He doesn't stop me going further down the rabbit hole. I started my search for alternatives to wedding rings, and now I'm on genital piercings for fuck's sake. But I don't look away. The longer I stay focused on this, the more I can convince myself he won't try to make me say what I shouldn't, especially after he was more than honest with his grief.

But he doesn't play fair and massages around my collarbones, teasing me with his touch. He moves further down my chest, causing me to suck in a breath. Instantly noticing, he moves away and tries to soften his voice.

"Are they still hurting?"

No one tells you that breastfeeding hurts like a bitch. The little leaflets tell you the benefits, but they don't mention the tenderness in the tissue or how, at one point, I was sure my nipple was going to fall off before Dani gave me a balm that she'd found online. Fucking pricks, if men had to go through childbirth, they'd be giving out the information to anyone who would listen. It wouldn't be painted as something pretty and filled with rainbows. If blood and pain are considered masculine, then childbirth is the most masculine thing to exist.

Throwing my phone on the bed, I give Vlad my undivided attention.

"How do you know everything when you were ignoring me?"

There's no hiding the accusation. He shouldn't know anything without begging at my feet for the information. Massaging across my stomach with one hand, he does the same to my scalp and almost looks apologetic.

"You kept a log of everything on your phone, and you'd talk to yourself when you couldn't sleep."

I remember the nights laying there in the dark as Verena wriggled away. I wasn't talking to myself as the dickhead thinks, just voicing my thoughts so I didn't feel lonely.

Rather than admit that, I take advantage of his openness.

"Why do you let everyone see you as a monster, even your family?"

He is backwards as fuck; he wears his crimes openly and doesn't correct the false accusations against his name. But he hides everything good about himself, covers it in blood so no one can see just how bright it is. He's like a fairytale forest — deep, dark, and twisted. Until you get to the center and see flowing rivers and a beautiful meadow.

His voice is low, so low I have to strain my ears to pick up the words as he says, "Better the monster than the vulnerable child."

My heart breaks and I'm sure the sound is audible in the room as tears well against my lashes.

He leans over me and smiles, full of violence and showing his preference for it.

"Don't think I'm anything but the devil, meelaya."

It carries into his voice, but I'll never be afraid of him. I sigh and stretch, getting comfortable.

"You're a teddy bear, lapachka." He moves back in disgust as I pat his cheek and continue to stop him feeling insulted. "One out of a horror movie that's come to life and kills everyone, still a teddy bear, though."

He drags me up to sit between his thighs, leaning against his chest and kisses my neck. Clearly not wanting me to talk anymore, he smooths his hand down my stomach and traces a line over my panties. I live to disappoint, and my voice is husky, repeating our earlier conversation.

"I want you to wear a ring in public."

Humming against my pulse point, the vibration has my toes curling and he increases the pressure between my thighs.

Vlad got on his knees for me, something he doesn't do for anyone or anything. If he drops something on the floor, he'd rather dig out the ground than lower himself. But he acts like a prick about a piece of metal.

"Why?" he asks.

Scraping his teeth against my skin turns my brain to mush, and I clench my thighs around his hand, wanting more.

But he's an infuriating man and holds my inner thighs, prying them apart and positioning them on the outside of his. Raising his knees so I can't move, he repeats himself and stokes my jealousy.

"Why, meelaya? Does it bother you if someone is talking to me?"

Yes.

Vlad is openly violent. He looks at everyone like he wants to kill them and those are the people he can tolerate being around. That should be the deterrent, but that bitchy receptionist had to be brave and attracted to danger.

My voice hardens despite his soft lips pressing into my neck as I dig my nails into his thighs in warning.

"She wasn't talking, it was flirting, and she was eye fucking you. Stupid bitch."

As though my anger is positive, he rewards me and moves my panties to the side. I don't mention his game about making me crawl. The first stroke of his fingers through my slit are bliss until he opens his mouth.

"What happened to your female empowerment speech? Women are meant to support each other and all that shit?"

Turning to look at him, I dig my nails in harder at the smirk on his face. Staring into his icy eyes with my own murderous thoughts on display, I spit out, "I'll support any woman as long as she's not trying to be empowered on my husband's dick."

He seals his lips over mine and roughly pushes two fingers into me. It's urgent and robs me of air. Grinding into his hand to get more, he builds me up verbally.

"Moya zhena, koroleva."1

Holding the back of his head so he doesn't move away, I can see how crazed my smile is in his pupils.

"Ya mogu sdelat tebya korolem."2

It ends on a moan when he curls his fingers inside me. He kisses my cheek and circles my clit, whispering, "You already have, lyubeemaya."3

There's not enough power in my brain for me to examine the change in endearment from dear to my love as frustration takes over at being denied release. Removing his hand from between my thighs, he holds my hips and pushes me forward.There's no warning or time for me to anticipate what he's doing as he jolts my body, so I fall face-first between his ankles with a shriek.

Air brushes the back of my thighs as he laughs and pushes my dress up. My face heats at the conversation he's having as he presses a kiss to each of my ass cheeks.

"I've missed you."

He's not talking to me. The weird fucking dickhead is staring between my legs as he peels my panties off.My complaint is subdued as he lifts my hips and pulls me to meet his face.

He groans as he pushes inside me. The vibrations work through my body from inside to out, forcing a whimper up my throat. Pushing back against his face for more, he pulls my ass cheeks apart and turns his head side to side, burying his tongue in me as deep as it can go. He alternates between massaging my ass and lightly slapping the outside of my thighs as he fucks me with his tongue, claiming me and I have no thoughts as I grind back, meeting his movement.

I'm a mess and my hair is going to be sticking up from being rubbed against the sheets. But he moves down as he places gentle kisses on my heated flesh before sucking my clit between his teeth.

"Oh, fuck, yes."

The first sign that I'm not getting what I want comes as his smirk touches the back of my thigh. Vlad is an annoying idiot, and he pushes me away with his hold on my hips. He doesn't leave though, he twists my body so I'm flat on my back and frustration raises my voice.

"Do you have to use torture even when you fuck me?!"

Raising to his full height, his eyes darken, and he orders, "Arms up. Let's see how long it takes for you to beg."

Crossing my arms under my tits, I try to roll over so he can't pull them away.He stops me with his hand flat between my collarbones and leans over me, making sure there's a gap between our bodies. I chase his lips as they ghost over my cheek, and they brush the shell of my ear with his deep counteroffer.

"Or tell me you love me again."

I'm not going to say it for my emotions to become a tool he can use against me.Curling my fingers around his nape, I mimic him and stroke down his abs to cup his dick. My voice is purposefully slow and husky.

"I love..." squeezing through his trousers, I kiss his cheek before continuing, "me."

He messes with my head and presses each word into my neck.

"So." Kiss below my ear. "Do." Kiss under my jaw. "I." Kiss in the center of my throat, over my voice box, robbing my vocal cords of movement and heart of its rhythm.

Vlad is being a cocky shithead; he's agreeing that he loves himself. Not me. He told me he only loves people from the moment he's met them, his family. We both disliked each other, or I did. And he couldn't give a fuck whether I lived or died.

Using my shock to his advantage, he pulls my dress up over my head. My arms automatically move but he doesn't take it off my wrists. I look up to see what he's doing as the fabric wraps tighter around my wrists. He's restraining me and threads the middle through the edge of the bed. Tugging on the fabric, he tucks it between the mattress and the bed frame before sitting back and kissing the center of my chest.

My body is different now, I love it when I'm alone but having his eyes on me is different. The cast Dani made of my bump is the most beautiful thing I've ever been gifted but that doesn't show reddened skin and the squishy pouch I now have. He softens in front of my eyes, and he doesn't look away from me as he moves down my body. His tongue traces every line with reverence, and he worships my changed body.The gentleness against my skin isn't evident in his voice.

"I thought you were a queen?"

I shrug and too much honesty leaves me.

"Being better than everyone else doesn't make me free of any faults."

He smiles against my stomach and hums before planting a chaste kiss at the center of the scar between my hips.

"Being perfect does."

His ego is enormous if he thinks he's perfect. I'm having déjà vu as he slips off the bed and begins stripping again. This time, he actually gets rid of all of his clothes, and I'm a very happy audience.

"If you didn't tie my hands up, I could have put some ones in your waistband."

Pausing with only his boxers on, he looks down his body, stroking his abs, making me drool.

"You'd give me my own money?"

He scoffs and I laugh. My teddy bear is offended.

Picking my ankles up, he kisses up my calf before planting my feet on the bed how he wants them. I'm about to get exactly what I want without begging when my phone pings with my alert to pump. Vlad kisses each of my knees and stretches over me to silence the alert before he steps back.

What the fuck?

I talk to his back as he goes to the corner of the room where another feeding station has been set up.

"If you leave me tied here, I'm putting your head in the toilet rather than your toothbrush."

He doesn't respond to my threat as he opens the drawer with my breast pump in. There's no conversation or a single word out of his mouth as he comes back and treats me like a cow.

Twisting my hands to free myself and take over doesn't work. It's not humiliating, just strange, and my voice comes out small.

"I can do it later."

Much later, when he has finished fucking me. But he doesn't even pause and unhooks my nursing bra to set everything up. Kissing my cheek, there's no awkwardness on his features and he smiles warmly.

"You'll be in pain if you wait longer."

My heart melts and my chest isn't big enough to contain it. He opens his fat fucking mouth and acts like a dick again, easing the issue of trying to contain the organ.

"And I've always wondered what it would be like to be a farmer."

Setting the timer on the electronic pumps, he restarts his path on my body.

This is weird as fuck, and I don't know whether it's good or bad. The hum of the breast pump fills the room and I soon forget they're on me when he swirls his tongue on my hip. Kissing across my stomach, he doesn't go lower, just light touches everywhere from my stomach to my thighs and never moving where I need him. He takes pity on me as I whimper pathetically and kneels at the edge of the bed. Flattening his hands on my inner thighs, he opens me up to him and softly presses his lips to every part of my pussy but my clit. His tongue traces my lips and marks a line from entrance to clit, without giving me enough pressure to come.