Chapter XXIX

Senseless

H aving a baby unexpectedly wasn't typically on anyone's list of things they wanted to do, but having what he did now made Jeremiah that much happier than he ever thought he could be. Sure, there was the crying and the diapers, but holding Tae-min, looking at Tae-min, existing alongside Tae-min had become what couldn't be described as anything other than a dream come true.

Following all the introductions and welcoming from family, Jeremiah and Min-jae returned home to Saengsacho with their son in tow. They enjoyed the days and nights that passed, but the main quandary that stuck with them was how they would come to introduce Tae-min to the village.

As far as anyone knew, Min-jae and Jeremiah lived together and were close friends, and while Jeremiah wasn't someone to show himself too often, surely there would be curious questions that arose once eyes were laid upon Tae-min. People would question Min-jae about where the infant boy had come from.

Would they be made to lie?

Jeremiah wasn't sure how comfortable or willing enough he'd be to lie about not being Tae-min's birth parent. Tae-min was his son; he wasn't ashamed of that. To be made to lie was unacceptable in his eyes, and he didn't think the odd looks and even more questions regarding Tae-min's birth would bother him.

Matter of fact, Jeremiah was willing to test the waters a bit. Whenever he would take Tae-min anywhere outside of the house, it was usually to walk the shoreline beyond the trees of their home, or to visit family in England or Seoul, but Jeremiah wanted to be able to do more; he wanted his son to be able to see more of his own home.

With evening approaching at the end of this October day, Jeremiah dressed Tae-min in a light orange onesie and a white, frilly bonnet that covered his ears before stepping out the door. October weather was lovely and the rich smell of the village instantly calmed the uncertainty that struck Jeremiah the moment the door shut behind him. He wasn't sure where he was going, and he almost wanted to simply take the trail out behind the hanok and walk the beach again, but…this was something he felt the need to do, and Jeremiah didn't want to turn back now.

"Why don't we start off with someone who could use some cheering up?" Jeremiah said, holding Tae-min in the crook of his arm. He looked toward the baby boy as if he had anything to add, and he smiled when Tae-min offered a gummy chuckle. He was such a cheerful baby .

In the instant Jeremiah stepped beyond the low stone wall that bordered the hanok, Min-jae started up the gravel path with a puzzled look and two wicker baskets full of cabbage, tomatoes, and other peppers. "Where are we going?" he asked, setting one of the baskets on the other side of the low wall.

"Call me crazy if you want," Jeremiah said, watching Min-jae adjust the hat atop Tae-min's head. "But I wanted to introduce Tae-min to Mrs. Mok. She's been so alone, and I know you've kept in touch with her, but don't you think she'd be happy to meet this guy?"

Jeremiah playfully jostled Tae-min who giggled, and it didn't take much for Min-jae to agree. As himself and others had assisted her through the months since the "disappearance" of Kyung-hwan and Sujin, there wasn't a day that went by where it looked like she could use a lot more comfort. Now that she was aging into her early eighties, easing the heartache in her last years was the least they could attempt, and Min-jae was glad to see Jeremiah was as thoughtful toward her situation as the next person.

"Let's go together," Min-jae said. "Our situation will be unique to her, but I'm sure she'll be understanding. Maybe she'll be too distracted by Tae-min to care."

Leaving behind one of the wicker baskets, Min-jae carried the other and they started for Mrs. Mok's.

As they drew nearer, there was a particular feeling in the air Min-jae could pick up on, a sensation that grew thicker and bolder the closer they got. The feeling was reminiscent of a familiar being, someone akin to Demiesius in terms of brawn, but nothing about this aura totally matched Demiesius.

"Thank you for coming," Mrs. Mok said; her voice sounded lowly through the front door when Min-jae rang the bell .

As the main door to the entryway came open, Jeremiah was immediately puzzled to find Elder Eros stepping into a black pair of shoes. He appeared as his usual self, quite properly put together much like Demiesius, and his silverish white hair was styled back and out of his face, the look in his own eyes seeming as though he were annoyed for having been spotted.

"Uncle," Jeremiah said over Min-jae's shoulder. "What are you…"

"Here you are," Mrs. Mok interjected and handed Eros a cylindrical black tin. Min-jae recognized it as being the kind that leaves of the Pyrenean were stored in once they were ready to be distributed. "Tell Sujin to drink it wisely. The last harvest is approaching. He may have to make it last through the winter." She switched her gaze to Min-jae, "Isn't that right?"

Min-jae nodded as Eros thanked Mrs. Mok for her hospitality, Tae-min being handed off to Min-jae as Jeremiah started after the elder once he made to leave.

"Uncle, wait." Jeremiah matched pace, leaving Mrs. Mok's home in his wake.

As the evening approached, the pathways were growing a bit darker now, tall light posts beginning to turn on, and a single one acted more like a spotlight atop them. "What could you of all people be doing here?" Jeremiah questioned. "The troubles with the village are long gone, so I hope you haven't taken it upon yourself to harass an old woman. No one here knew of Kyung-hwan's scheme."

"This, I know, Nephew," Eros said, tucking the black tin in a pocket inside his coat. He then fixed a lit cigarette at his lips and took a long drag as if the smoke were something he'd needed to level his nerves. He let the cloud escape his nose and looked Jeremiah over, finding it off-putting that a dhampir once considered to be even stronger than his own father now felt so…weak. "My being here is of no concern to you, nor do I carry negative intentions."

"Then what are you doing here?" Jeremiah asked. "Last I checked, you cared very little for others, let alone humans."

"This is true," Eros shifted his weight, blowing another puff of smoke up toward the sky. "And yet, Nephew, you know very little to make assumptions of me."

"It's not like you ever made getting to know you easy. With how long I've known you, I've always considered you an uncle, but…you're distant."

Given the jaded look in Eros' crystalline eyes, the topic didn't appear to be something he was eager to speak on: the topic of himself or what he was doing here.

"Goodbye, Nephew," Eros said, and when it seemed he might vanish into his mastering, Jeremiah grabbed his arm and the flurry of rising shadows faded into the ground. "Have caution, Jeremiah," the elder warned.

"Just tell me what you were doing here," Jeremiah implored. "It's not like you have anything to be ashamed of, and I'm not going to run to my father to tell him you've been lingering."

Pulling his wrist from Jeremiah's grasp, Eros let out a defeated breath. Nothing was keeping him here, but Jeremiah appreciated when the elder remained. "Kyung-hwan," Eros said, "Damn his soul to never surface again. He took his nephew's life before your father took his, and now that woman's entire family is dead; all for the actions of a selfish swine with no true regard for anyone. But I did not tell her; it's not my place. Besides, why bother telling her when all it would do is summon a heart attack?"

"So, what'd you do?"

"Weaved a mass of lies for her to believe," Eros admitted, taking another drag from his cigarette. "Perhaps I also gave her a year's salary said to come from Kyung-hwan after stating her son ventured overseas with her grandson. It's easier to know you may never see your family again while they are doing well, than to live the rest of yours knowing they died cruel deaths. Not that I care for Kyung-hwan's deserved demise. As far as I'm concerned, your father should have killed the man slowly."

Jeremiah couldn't help feeling surprised to discover Eros' reason for being here. With all the months that'd passed since then, was he still so bothered by Sujin's untimely and senseless demise?

"How are things with your son?" Eros asked then, shifting the topic.

"Good, thank you," Jeremiah nodded. "He's still very new to me."

"Right…" Eros seemed to mull over something more, but merely finished off his cigarette and flicked the filter to the ground. "Take care of yourself, Nephew. And try not to remain so distant from your father. You, your brothers, and your dad are all your father has besides what is left of us. You may not have liked it, but Demiesius' overprotection was a symbol of his undying love. Perhaps if such were practiced more prevalently amongst us, there would be far less senseless death that surrounds us."

"I understand," Jeremiah answered.

"I don't believe you do," Eros said, a sternness in his tone as he looked toward the ground. "No one ever does until it's too late."

Before Jeremiah could question Eros of his meaning, the elder disappeared, leaving him alone under the darkening sky. Eros' words were surely personal, and while Jeremiah was curious to know how closely they fit with the man, he doubted any others besides Demiesius, Bethania, and Nabadias could understand him.

Collecting Eros' cigarette butt from the ground, Jeremiah returned to Mrs. Mok's home. He let himself in as the savory scent of dinner touched his nose. He followed it to the kitchen area where Min-jae was seated at the table, and Tae-min was being carried in Mrs. Mok's arms. She looked a lot happier than she did most days, and whether that was for Eros' choice to give her a strange sense of closure, or her enthusiasm to hold a baby again, Jeremiah was glad to see a genuine smile on the woman's face.

"Your son is beautiful," Mrs. Mok said to Jeremiah, stirring a pot of broth on the stove. "We'll have to feed him lots so he'll grow strong like his father."

Jeremiah looked toward Min-jae, partly stunned by Mrs. Mok's correlation of both of them being Tae-min's parents. "She didn't question it," Min-jae whispered in English.

Maybe she was too enthused by the baby to care, or hadn't quite understood, but Jeremiah wasn't going to stay on the topic if he didn't have to. She accepted them for what they were: a family.

They didn't spend too long with Mrs. Mok, but thanked her for a filling meal, and they were sent home with a gift of old clothing from when Sujin was a baby. As stated, Mrs. Mok had never wanted to throw the garments away, and she was glad to be able to pass the small articles of clothing down for someone else. She'd apparently always hoped to give them to Kyung-hwan for any children of his own, but she referred to her son as too work-focused to settle down.

Sitting on the floor of their own television room, Jeremiah sifted through the bag of clothes, Tae-min resting on a cushion beside him. Most of the shirts and other pieces were a bit big for Tae-min to fit right about now, but they would come in handy once he was at least a year old.

Holding one of the red shirts in front of him, Jeremiah breathed a sigh at the thought of someone like himself having worn it at one point. He'd only met Sujin once, and while their encounter hadn't been the best, Jeremiah couldn't escape the feeling of wishing he'd been able to detect Sujin as a dhampir before everything went wrong. If not for the boy's weakened and very much crushed impression, maybe things could have turned out differently, as his suspicions would have been immediately piqued, but…there was no use regretting things now.

It wasn't like there was anything he could do.

Dropping the small shirt into his lap, Jeremiah looked toward Tae-min. He worked himself up a bit and laid beside the floor cushion, bringing a hand to the boy's stomach. Tae-min fidgeted a little but remained asleep, and Jeremiah tried to smile when Tae-min's hand came to rest atop his.

How could someone hurt you? Jeremiah thought, a memory of Sujin's past nervousness coming to him. With the way Mrs. Mok had often spoken of the boy, and even Eros' own frustrations with how Sujin had come to pass, surely he must've been a good kid, innocent above all else.

"I'll never let anyone take you from me," Jeremiah said in a whisper, a wave of resentment for the Pyrenean entering him.

Although no one could have considered the myth of the flower holding truth; a protector against beings thought to be evil by nature, Jeremiah simmered in a mild frustration that wanted to rid the land of the plant now that it would be something so close to this boy before him. It would be easy to set fire to them, to uproot them, but while those were thoughts that came to him every now and then, he had no right.

As harmful as they could be, they were thought to be good, so the only thing Jeremiah figured he and Min-jae could do was someday educate Tae-min on their effects and keep him away from them. It wouldn't be fair to the village to lose something they valued.

"You look afraid," Min-jae's voice came then. He was freshly showered and dressed in a pair of black joggers; hair bundled into a knot. "Are you worried about how others will react to Tae-min being ours?"

"No…" Jeremiah dragged the answer out with a sigh. "I'm scared of him ever getting too close to the violets and frustrated that he'll never know me at my strongest. Tae-min will grow up seeing the effects it's had on me, so I don't think he'll ever develop a curiosity. In strength alone, I used to be so much more. I'm afraid he'll look at me differently than he looks at you now that I've been…diminished."

Min-jae offered a hand to help Jeremiah stand. "Don't be ridiculous," he said, pulling Jeremiah a bit closer and resting his hands at his lover's waist. "Tae-min already looks at you like you're his greatest gift instead of it being the other way around. There will be a time when a briefing of the Pyrenean comes up, but I imagine him being understanding enough to know you're still you."

"You think so?" Jeremiah asked, circling his arms around Min-jae's neck.

Min-jae leaned in a little, touching their foreheads together and their noses brushed. "I know so," he said. "I treasure you for so much more than just being mine. You've trusted me with your heart, have loved me and gave me a beautiful son who will grow into a wonderful boy. On top of that, you've protected me with your life. I love your voice, hair and body, the way you feel against my hands, the smell of you against me in the morning." He chuckled. "I love how you look holding a pack of blood with two hands against your mouth, when you wear my sweaters, the way your eyes light up whenever I walk through the door. And I love the look on your face when you talk about your parents and your brothers."

Jeremiah wasn't sure if his face was red, but Min-jae laughed and kissed his forehead before backing off. "You notice things about me?"

"Of course, I notice things about you," Min-jae huffed. "I'm in love with you."

Jeremiah was smiling so big he could hardly see, and his cheeks looked dashed with plum blossoms as Min-jae admired him. The manner Jeremiah's nose scrunched, and his brow wrinkled when his grin turned into a beam was blinding, but Min-jae couldn't look away even if the shine threatened to sear his corneas.

Unable to help himself, Min-jae took Jeremiah's face in his hands and stole a desired kiss, stunning the other dhampir who melted against him when their lips parted and tongues grazed together .

"Want to know what I love most about you?" Min-jae said against the warmth of their breath.

"I'm almost afraid to," Jeremiah admitted in a whisper. "What if someday I ruin your image of me?"

Without bringing attention to Jeremiah's doubt, Min-jae brought them down to the floor, sitting with Jeremiah between his legs as Tae-min lay sleeping in front of them. The infant was unbothered and comfortable, seeming to dream of suckling a bottle with the manner his mouth moved.

Min-jae rested his chin upon Jeremiah's shoulder and embraced his lover from behind. "There's a part of you in there," he said, voice consoling and filled with a type of heart saved just for Jeremiah. "From the day I was born, I lived my life as ordinary as any other young man raised in the corner of Korea's countryside would. I never had any issues with it or felt like I was missing out on anything. I went to school, did my service, and now I'm home again doing what I'd planned from the beginning. But, despite everything else that's happened around us, I now have something I'll cherish continuously: you and this miracle of a boy only you could have given me."

"Min-jae…" Jeremiah's throat caught, eyes blurring as his sights stayed on Tae-min's sleeping form.

"I can feel you in our son," Min-jae carried on. "It's like a fragment of your spirit is stitched into his makeup; a reminder to me that he wouldn't be here without you, and I cherish that, Jeremiah. My love for you and this boy of ours is unique and endless. In your moments of doubt, I want you to remember what I've said. Remember me and all I feel for you."

Jeremiah breathed out, body relaxing, and he turned his nose into Min-jae's hair when the Korean dhampir pressed a kiss to the top of his shoulder. "This is enough," Jeremiah said. "If you love me anymore, I might explode."

"Give me a daughter someday, and I won't be able to help it."

"One at a time," Jeremiah's smile returned, and he kissed the side of Min-jae's face. His body was the only thing not quite ready for another baby, but he didn't consider it something he wouldn't want someday. Besides, giving all of his attention to Tae-min was good enough for now.