Chapter X

Need

"I f there is anything you need, let it be me."

Did Min-jae understand how his words sounded? To say something so endearing, so intimate, he couldn't possibly understand the message behind them. Jeremiah was certain he was just trying to say anything to bring his anxiousness down, but those particular words surely replaced the anxiousness with crosses of shock and awe.

As Jeremiah shoved down his cravings, he couldn't say that was the first time someone had said anything remotely intimate to him, but it'd been a long while since the words felt genuine. His life over the past seventeen years came to mind, how each had gone by much like standing in a room as the oxygen was slowly extracted from it. One thousand, two thousand, three thousand years could go by and still everything would remain so clear.

The conversations and moments without word played like reruns of television shows he couldn't help but watch; he knew their scripts and what would happen next. Nothing ever felt new anymore, nothing was uniquely different as things continued to happen around him. Even events that should feel extraordinary had begun to seem so common up till now. Everyone else was living a life that looked so fulfilling on the outside, and yet there Jeremiah Titus stood much like a window shopper who could only hope to envision the same for himself.

Not that there was anything in particular he was envious of.

There it was again, the lie that slinked through Jeremiah's mind, a lie he tried to convince himself wasn't true. How could he, though, when the happiness encompassing literally everyone close to him was absent from him? Only him.

His parents had been made to suffer years of heartache without the other, but neither of them would have thought, in those moments when things hurt the most, that they'd be where they were now; returned to their home in which they lived so blissfully with the family they had today.

Then there was Dominick who, after centuries of claiming he hadn't the need for true love, scoffing at it, and uttering its uselessness; he had a husband and two beautiful daughters, lived far from his past, all for the opportunity to keep the closest people to his heart the safest they could be.

The name Jackson passed through Jeremiah's mind then, guilt following after. Things were never the same after that night. The valued friendship was still very much there, and Jeremiah was glad to know the actions of others hadn't soured his relationship with Dominick and Jackson, but he couldn't get past the fact that his wants and needs had veered off track. Now they were entirely lost, and never would a time reach him again where things could be as they were.

"You can let go now," Jeremiah said, regaining composure over himself. His hands dropped down to his sides, Min-jae's closeness still near enough to smell him. Instead of stepping around him to gain some distance, Jeremiah tucked his hands away as if to keep track of where they were.

Min-jae, on the other hand, granted some space as if it were desired and turned, meandering across the alley that was a few meters wide. "I guess there's no stopping you," he said, looking up to the drifting clouds of gray as they carried on. "As much as I feel it's more my responsibility to take whatever this is on, you've already staked your claim over it for some reason."

"It's not for some unknown reason," Jeremiah said. "My father is trusting me with this task, and I intend to see it through to the end."

Min-jae mumbled in Korean under his breath then as if Jeremiah might not hear, but the only thing different about his body was his new response to pain, leaving his hearing as perfect as it had always been. His brows downed; gaze locked on the back of Min-jae's head when the words "I should tell your father you are stubborn" left him. He faced Jeremiah again as though he hadn't said anything, and asked, "What's your plan when you get there?"

"I'll tell you one thing," Jeremiah said. "Depending on how I'm greeted if spotted, I don't know how charitable I'll be when it comes to anyone's life, more so that man who stabbed me in the first place." He pushed off the wall then, recalling the man's nephew and at least acknowledging that the village was likely still home to ordinary people with no ties to this mess.

"His name was Kyung-hwan," Min-jae informed. "The boy was his nephew Sujin."

"I understand that," Jeremiah interjected. "I'm sure he has other family members, too, but so do I, and no one is going to stop me from making it home. So if he just so happens to get in my way and I protect myself, I'm not one to offer much charity to the human race anymore."

"You say that like you and I aren't half-human," Min-jae said, the glint in his eyes the only thing Jeremiah needed to see to understand his attachment. It was understandable, and he didn't fault the Korean dhampir for holding onto the humanity that flowed through his veins. After all, at one point, Jeremiah had clung to it just as tightly. "I met your dad despite it being for a few minutes," Min-jae went on. "And both our fathers were once human. How can you disregard that?"

"I don't disregard it," Jeremiah said firmly, staying with Min-jae's eyes that never left his. "You would never understand how badly I wanted that human connection growing up, that bond, that security you were able to gather from your mother when you were young. I didn't get that. Everything was lukewarm when I was young, so serious when all I wanted was what I didn't understand was missing until I was older."

Feeling his temperament rise again, Jeremiah made an attempt to contain himself. He wasn't used to getting so caught up in his feelings enough to let them out…at least not with words.

"I hope you don't understand someday," Jeremiah admitted, eyes dropping to the pavement. "I consider you lucky to still have immense consideration for others who aren't attached to you in some way by blood. I lost mine a long time ago. "

After checking the time on his mobile, only an hour had gone by, and Jeremiah felt nowhere near dusk. He wanted to wait for nightfall even though operations under the moon weren't imperative to himself. Working with immortals brought along the possibility for exposure to the sun. It was only now that he figured he should have waited until nightfall had arrived over here so he could set out immediately.

Jeremiah hadn't minded the short-lived outing for food, but he'd gone and made a fool of himself in public, showing off this sudden vulnerability in the process. Min-jae hadn't made him feel like he'd made himself look like an idiot, and when he recalled how the other dhampir had cleared his face of tears, how he'd kept his voice low, and offered assurance in his moment of panic, Jeremiah forced himself to carry on.

It had been nice to feel as that blanket of security draped over him.

"Let's just head back." Jeremiah pushed on, and after reaching the Choi Coven again, he stayed behind in the lobby as Min-jae headed up to the suite on the second floor.

Something is wrong…

Obviously.

Something was wrong with his mind, with his body. He wasn't afraid of new experiences, but this was getting ridiculous. Whatever purpose followed the toxin injected into him; Jeremiah was afraid it was taking hold of him second after second.

Alone in the lobby, Jeremiah reached behind his right bicep, fingers brushing over where the needle had stuck him. For it to have brought forth the unfortunate ability to feel pain, Jeremiah worried for what other oddities the serum might cause. So far, what stood out was the activation of his pain receptors, but from the shakiness making a home in his mind, Jeremiah began to ponder on the idea that this could influence his mental state.

Too much would spill if he couldn't hold the dam in place, and Jeremiah wasn't ready for the waters of his struggles to escape. They would rush and spread and flood areas he wasn't ready to fill. He was afraid to be seen, more so; he was afraid to be seen in a light even he often turned his eyes from. The light wasn't blinding by any means. If anything, it was dull, and didn't have much of a beckoning, attractive shine. Every other light around him deserved the attention. There was distinctive glitter in the gold that emitted from his brothers, while his was painted over so that…perhaps the false shade might mimic theirs.

At least, that's what he thought.

Nothing over the years made that statement feel untrue.

Jeremiah was trying to be well, look well, but he was afraid the cracks in his foundation might finally give way. If they did, the process of crumbling would be long and loud, mortifying, as all eruptions thundered through the bones of those closest to it.

To be perceived, Jeremiah could only see it as an inconvenience.

Upon collecting himself to the best he could, Jeremiah carried on to the second floor where Min-jae had yet to let himself into the apartment. There was a question at the top of Jeremiah's mind that wanted to know his reason for waiting, but if there had been even a mild trace of genuine nature in him, wouldn't that mean Min-jae cared? To what extent and why was a mystery but leaving it at that was Jeremiah's decision.

They remained in the apartment as time passed until, at last, the sun had set and the moon shone in the sun's stead. The coven began to come alive, each resident beginning one of their many nights out, but the only vampire who had yet to so much as touch the knob of their door was Ha-yoon.

Over the week Jeremiah had been away, she'd come down to speak with Min-jae, making certain he wouldn't vacate the building, but Jeremiah figured the return of his aura to the coven might be holding her back.

Outside of her apartment door, Jeremiah rapped lightly against it; the knock was fair but perceivable by all means. "Choi Ha-yoon," he called in Korean beyond the frame. "If it is my father whose upset you're hiding from, I can promise you have nothing to be afraid of."

Without needing to see her, Jeremiah could sense Ha-yoon beyond the door by a few steps. Her aura was trembling. "An elder's wrath runs deep," she claimed. "Considerably in these new times now that Elder Minerva is gone. Your father must want me dead for allowing you into unpredictable territory."

"Don't insult my father with petty vengeance," Jeremiah said. "Yes, the tolerance of an Elder has gone down, but you are not liable for the injuries I sustained after insisting that I travel on my own. Let me in, Ha-yoon. We must talk."

A couple seconds sat between them until the door finally came open and Ha-yoon peeked through the crack, eyes raking down Jeremiah's body. "Injuries?" she said. "You were actually…hurt?"

"May I come in first?"

"Oh, yes," Ha-yoon stepped aside and allowed Jeremiah to step in, Min-jae close behind and they situated themselves in the living area. Not wanting to focus on himself for too long, Jeremiah passed down the strange circumstance he'd run into with the injected serum before shifting attention to what mattered most: Dae-jung .

"With an understanding of where exactly Dae-jung is," Jeremiah said, "I can likely get to him without causing another stir, but I want to take a moment to look around that facility. I could tell there was much more there, but I was set on being led directly to Chung-hee and Hyun even though they weren't what I found. I'll also have to detour to make sure I get a sample of that Pyrenean violet."

With her feet pulled up on the sofa, Ha-yoon said, "You're telling me a flower has the capabilities of rendering a dhampir defenseless?"

"I wouldn't say defenseless," Jeremiah interjected. "I'm positive my strength and other abilities remain intact, but the shock of distinguishing what pain is took me by surprise."

"You're sure you'll be able to handle it if it happens again?"

Jeremiah stayed with Ha-yoon's wavering stare. There was a miniscule amount of doubt in him. He couldn't promise himself that fright wouldn't ripple through him again if the awful sensation returned, but he could at least be more aware of the dangers he may be returning to. Avoiding a repeat of prior events was all he could do.

A gesture reached out for Jeremiah as he pondered, and when his eyes fell onto the brush that was touching his knee, his eyes settled on Min-jae's fingers that lightly gripped him. It was so curious how different a mere touch felt now. Of course, there was no ache to the force pressing into him. It wasn't much of a force anyways but being able to feel each of Min-jae's fingers, the weight distribution, the heat that passed through his jeans…Jeremiah could feel it all.

"Let me come with you," Min-jae said. "I know you think you can do everything on your own, but you'll be there too long and I don't want that. I can go after my father while you grab a sample and figure out where Chung-hee and Hyun are."

"No," Jeremiah denied, even though he wanted the same thing; to be able to get out of there as quickly as possible. "You nor your father can Shadow Master anyways. I can transfer them here on my own. You're staying."

Not wanting to waste any more time with a discussion that wouldn't change his mind, Jeremiah stood from the sofa and looked at Ha-yoon. "I'll be bringing Dae-jung here," he said, returning to the entryway. "Make sure you have blood to replenish him. Last I saw, he was in terrible shape due to whatever they were using him for, and it might be the same for Chung-hee and Hyun."

Ha-yoon nodded in understanding as the wisps of Jeremiah's mastering began to collect around him, and it wasn't until he finished adjusting his shoes that he realized Min-jae was doing the same. "I said—," Jeremiah tried, but he was cut off immediately.

"I'm not letting you go alone," Min-jae said, and he closed yet another unyielding grip around Jeremiah's arm. "Just take me with you."

It was there again, that tense but disarming hold latching onto Jeremiah. It was immobilizing, yet the furthest thing from harsh, and the fretfulness Jeremiah was trying to keep under wraps fluttered away. Perhaps this wasn't a very good idea, but having company this go round would at least save him from the gust of unease.

"Fine," Jeremiah gave way. "But first we should practice your mastering in case you need to get out without me."

"I won't leave without you," Min-jae said.

"I get it, I get it," Jeremiah returned. "Bear with me."

Released from Min-jae's hold around his bicep, Jeremiah instead held his hands out as Ha-yoon looked on curiously from the sofa.

As the two dhampirs hands sat together, Jeremiah said, "As we are all born relatively the same, you should possess the ability to master wherever you want, but keep in mind you have to have had held some form of presence in this place, not simply looking at a picture of a location and suddenly placing yourself there. Think of your childhood bedroom, your old university, a shopping plaza, things like that. However, since I'd like to save us from getting lost in your attempt, I want you to aim for the field of violets in Saengsacho. Can you do that?"

Min-jae closed his eyes and pictured it. In his mind, he could imagine it vividly during daylight hours, but he figured that wouldn't matter as long as the location was accurate. The rows of violet were perfect, their bundle of leaves were such a dark yet vibrant green, the stems so long and wiry with tips of flared and beautiful purple petals. Several meters away there was the previously thought to be vacant unit, and down the hill were the homes of those who lived within the plot that was Saengsacho.

This was home.

Suddenly, Min-jae could smell the perfume of the violets alongside the distant East Sea and hear the shuttering of trees and grass blowing against the wind. But nothing seemed to be happening, and he said, "I don't think it's working."

"Min-jae," Jeremiah let go and the Korean dhampir's eyes shot wide in fear of being swallowed whole by infinite darkness.

To his amazement, Min-jae's gaze took in the familiar settlement of home under the hanging moon. Its shine was bright and the scent carrying into him was in fact brought on by the surrounding field of flowers flourishing on all sides .

"Good job," Jeremiah said in English. "Use it when you need to. Even if that means leaving me behind. We're here for more important reasons than me."

Still a bit stunned that he'd accomplished something so impossible, Min-jae followed behind Jeremiah without a word. The homes at the base of the hills still had their lights on, and Min-jae spotted the one he'd grown up in at the furthest end. The well-kept hanok-style homes spoke of their proximity to history, were so beautiful, but a haunting shiver moved down Min-jae's spine at the unspeakable and all-around iniquity that'd thrived around him for so long.

Kneeling before a row of violets, Jeremiah extended the talons of his right hand and dug into the dirt, reaching deep into the Earth to collect as much of the root of the plant as possible. He scooped a perfect chunk of Earth and looked it over. It was so ordinary and smelt wonderful, but he knew well that an outward appearance could be deceiving. Beauty didn't promise a delightful encounter.

Dusting the dirt from the roots, Jeremiah carefully tucked the arrangement into his back pocket, and when his eyes fell onto Min-jae, there was a melancholic glint in his eyes as he looked over the portrait of the only home he'd ever known.

"Come," Jeremiah urged, "Let's be quick about this."

Turning his eyes from the narrow roads he'd scurried through in his youth, Min-jae turned his back and followed along. He and Jeremiah were faced with the concrete unit he'd once thought to be nothing useful, and when the steel door screeched open, they winced from the echo that traveled into the skies.

The hum of machinery welcomed Jeremiah again as the door swung closed behind them, leaving them feeling trapped even though escape was a mere thought away.

"The furthest door down these steps," Jeremiah said. "That's where your father is. Head there while I scope these other rooms."

Min-jae nodded and hurried, the dim corridor stretching before them as Jeremiah gripped the handle of the first sealed room to his right. The metal chilled his palm and he shouldered his weight against it, causing the hinges to bend before twisting enough to give way. When the door tipped inward and swung away from him, Jeremiah looked upon an empty chair bolted to the center of the floor. The apparatus behind it was off, the tubes and needles unstained as if it'd been recently cleaned or had never been used. Jeremiah hoped for the latter.

Moving on, Jeremiah watched Min-jae from afar tear away the door at the end of the corridor, unveiling the emaciated vision of Dae-jung slumped over in his prison of a chair. He could imagine the shock freezing Min-jae in his tracks, to be faced with your father who now looked truly dead and weak, two things vampires never wanted to associate themselves with.

"Min-jae," Jeremiah called, "Tend to him so we can leave."

Returning to his own reason for being there, Jeremiah searched the other rooms until coming upon Hyun in the second sealed chamber. Just as Dae-jung, her body was starved and withered, and the sight of stained blood upon her cheeks and down to her chin enveloped Jeremiah's heart. To have been stuck here for a week, Jeremiah assumed thoughts of abandonment must have convinced her she was nearing the end of her chance at forever.

"Hyun," Jeremiah entered the room and knelt before her, going for the inserted tubes linked to her ankles and wrists. "Hyun, can you hear me?"

Her eyes were heavy as she attempted to look upon him, and a sliver of desperation and hope caused yet another flow of red tears to stream from her. "Chung-hee," she said, "You have to help Chung-hee, too."

"I am," Jeremiah assured. "Let's free you from this first."

The moment Hyun was released, Jeremiah aided in her attempt to stand, but the fragility of her body made it nearly impossible for her to simply stand up straight. With an arm tucked around Hyun's torso, Jeremiah entered the corridor again. At the far end, Min-jae was collecting Dae-jung as well, and when their eyes met, there was a wordless agreement to take who they had now back to Ha-yoon's home.

Stunned by the look of Dae-jung and Hyun, Ha-yoon's tearful apologies to them went unheard as Min-jae and Jeremiah returned to the underground unit.

Down in the eerie corridor, Jeremiah headed for another door to find an unfamiliar face, and when Min-jae did the same, yet another unknown immortal sat strapped in their restraints. Soon, each door in the unit was torn from its hinges and there they found every other room occupied by Chung-hee as well as others Jeremiah wondered if anyone was desperate to find. With these vampires trapped and without their auras, without what gave them connection to those who more than likely would have looked for them, Jeremiah wondered how long some of them must have been down here.

As Dae-jung, Chung-hee, and Hyun were the newest prisoners, there was a fear that the others could have been down here for years.

"This is too much back and forth," Min-jae said, and before he could add anything else, they looked to the stairs of the entry at the approach of footsteps.

Jeremiah's throat dried upon laying eyes on Kyung-hwan. His attire was as casual as it'd been last time, but the company close by brought Jeremiah's hatred to the surface. Behind the man stood three human beings dressed from head to toe in black, half-masks shielding their features, and from the look of their eyes, it could be determined they were foreigners.

"Leave it to the Public to go out of their way to make things worse," Jeremiah scoffed, and then he put his next words toward the Korean man who'd brought them here. "I hope you know you've damned yourself."

"We'll see about that," Kyung-hwan smiled, and the second he was finished, the three accompanying slayers tossed what looked like spheres of metal down the corridor. They clinked and rolled and the rapidly blinking red light emitting from it told Jeremiah everything he needed to know about it.

The instant the one that'd rolled the furthest reached them, Jeremiah kicked it as hard and accurately as he could, sending it flying toward the entry stairs, and he grabbed hold of Min-jae in case the light was accompanied by anything lethal. He turned them hastily into the room housing Chung-hee.

When a light that mimicked the sun illuminated the entire hall, paralyzing screams of anguish cried out, the light having spread so wide that two of the three discovered vampires perished from the burst.

"Fuck," Jeremiah went for the doorway again, fiery eyes watching Kyung-hwan step aside for the Public slayers who eagerly hurried inside. It was like they knew they had an advantage over him, and that notion alone boiled Jeremiah's blood .

To think a mere clown of the Public would think there was any way to win this bout, to bring him to his knees, laced Jeremiah's bones with more hatred than he already carried for them.

"Get Chung-hee out of here," Jeremiah ordered, and without waiting for Min-jae to protest, he set his sights of ridding the world of three more Public nuisances.

Glad to feel Min-jae's aura vanish, Jeremiah allowed for all he knew he was made of to come forth, to take hold over who he'd grown accustomed to keeping under control. Now was not the time to lock away a portion of himself. If these slayers wanted to see who would come out on top in a head to head clash with him, Jeremiah was going to make sure they saw him for everything he was made of.

Whatever stories of the destruction he'd caused over two decades ago must have lost their influence. Tonight, he would give them a reminder.

Jeremiah's fair skin faded into a pale, ashen shade, the pleasant features of his face sharpened, and the formation of his top and bottom fangs elongated as a famished hiss escaped. The moment his lengthy talon's sprouted into deadly hooks, Jeremiah moved like lightning down the corridor, capturing the front man of the party in his grasp.

The eyes of the remaining two slayers hardly saw him go by when Jeremiah disappeared up the stairs and into the night of the hillside. Their hair and clothing rustled in the breeze he left behind, and when Jeremiah emerged from the concrete unit, his grasp squeezed and buried into flesh. A choke sounded like music to his ears, blood coughed up by the man in his hand spattering upon his cheek.

In the distance of the footpath returning to the rural homes below, Jeremiah spotted the man from the village casually walking home, as if he were confident the slayers would handle everything he'd left them with.

Enraged by the wordless disrespect, Jeremiah's grip held tighter before chucking the man in his grasp. All that was left behind in his fist when the body was hurled was the man's windpipe, blood coating Jeremiah's knuckles as the corpse went flying. It landed harshly and directly at Kyung-hwan's feet. The deathly expression of shock upon the slayer's face caused a grimace of unease from the brutality, but it seemed he refused to act and merely stepped over the dead man.

At the sound of a rattling chain and hasty footsteps, Jeremiah turned to the open doorway of the unit and stepped back. When the two remaining slayers emerged, one wielding a chain and sickle while the other stood with long blades, Jeremiah raised the dripping windpipe over his mouth. The sweet nectar slithered down his throat, droplets staining his maw and he smiled with red tinged teeth and fangs.

"It's been a while since I fed from the source," he said. "Looks like you will help fill my stomach."

The moment the knot of the chain and sickle swung toward Jeremiah, the wings sleeping in his back emerged from their hidden slits, tearing through the fabric of his shirt as they spread wide. Leathery and black, with one pulse, Jeremiah avoided the strike as he ascended. They might have their weapons, and perhaps they knew how to utilize them, but Jeremiah refused to think he himself didn't also carry the threat of a weapon in his blood.

As the son of a vampire elder and someone the Public still knew as a staple of the past, mere silver and talent would never be enough to kill him.

Swooping down, Jeremiah dodged the swing of the sickle, able to hear as it sliced through the air like steel grazing his eardrum, and when he ducked beneath a near-fatal advance, he gathered the second, knife-wielding slayer and soared high into the dark sky.

Holding the man by his wrist, Jeremiah flew up and up, the already cold air growing colder by the second, and suddenly a sting met his forearm. He stopped his ascension below a haze of clouds. This was it again, that twinge of pain so sharp and bothersome, but for some reason it wasn't so torturous while in this state. While the full influence of his true dhampir form took hold, it didn't block out everything, merely dulled the pain and didn't stop it from being perceivable.

Moving his eyes from the blade stabbed at an angle into his right forearm, Jeremiah looked from the wound to the man dangling in his grasp. "Persistent till the end," he said, ripping the knife from his arm and he pulled the man into a feeding hold, fangs burrowing into the man's neck as blood rivered down his throat. It was enough to fill his stomach as a weak but capable blade stabbed into his back, but Jeremiah fed until what life remained in the slayer's eyes disappeared.

Unable to feel a thing due to this heated adrenaline, Jeremiah set the slayer loose, the body crashing on top of the lone building, and when his eyes followed the landing, his thoughts cleared when he spotted Min-jae surface from the depths of the unit.

The sickle-wielding slayer turned his attention to the Korean dhampir and whipped the curved blade as if to cut Min-jae in half. In the instant the chain was pulled, Jeremiah appeared to Min-jae from nowhere and shoved him out of harm's way. In doing so, the sink of the sickle's sharp blade carved through Jeremiah's midsection, nicking the bone of his spine before coming out from his stomach.

Still free from the pain once promised, Jeremiah sprang for the slayer and stole the weapon from him. There was an attempt to avoid the beast aiming for his life, but Jeremiah was quick to disarm and eliminate the threat.

Once the slayer lay twisted and carved at his feet, Jeremiah turned at the whisper of his name. The concern touched his ear first, Min-jae's shock more for the state Jeremiah was in rather than the damage done to the people whose lives had been taken by his hand.

"Jeremiah…" Min-jae's hands trembled from the amount of blood covering the other dhampir. Too much of it had come from the open wounds that had yet to heal. How was he not screaming right now?

"M—Min-jae," Jeremiah uttered as the fumes of his true nature faded, and when his wings disappeared and he stepped forward, what strength he'd unconsciously held onto vanished.

"Jeremiah!" Min-jae hurried for him when his legs gave out, falling into the hold that collected him without faltering. The smell of iron was so powerful as it rose into Min-jae's nose, the crimson soaking into his clothing, but there was a refusal to loosen the secure embrace.

"What do I do?" Min-jae asked, one arm clutched around Jeremiah as if holding him together, his other hand disappearing into the back of the ailing dhampir's tresses.

"Please," Jeremiah struggled, body shivering. "D—Don't take me home. P—lease."

You don't want to be seen this way?

Min-jae could imagine the fright Jeremiah's parents and younger brothers would feel to see him like this. "I'll take care of you," he said, no sign of reluctance in his voice as his newly mastered shadows wrapped around them. "Don't be afraid. I've got you."