10. Grace

He should be here by now.

The chill of the late November evening has me rubbing my arms idly as I wait for him to arrive. As is tradition, the head enforcer will take Deacon to the rendezvous point where he'll encounter his first challenge, and if he survives it within the rules, he will stay and be ranked.

Deacon won't tell me what the challenge is or give me an honest answer as to how likely he is to be able to complete it. I tried for weeks to get the information out of him, but his answer remained the same: it is a test of will.

Whatever that means.

His footsteps jogging to the parking lot from his house reach my ears, and I turn to face him. I'm always taken aback by my body"s visceral response to him. Electricity glides along my skin, pulling me to him without thought.

His green duffel bag hits the floor as he scoops me into the air. My legs wrap around his waist, and my lips find his without hesitation.

The kiss isn't gentle. It's rough and driven by both passion and fear. My heart rate beats in my ears as his teeth pull at my bottom lip, claiming it. My hands rake through his thick black hair, tugging and gripping as I fight to be closer to him, to be a part of him. His mouth moves to trail kisses down my neck, and I gasp for air in an attempt to breathe him in. A moan escapes me, and I drop my forehead to his as we freeze there, panting, wrapped in this embrace.

"This isn't goodbye," I whisper, unsure if I am telling or asking him.

"No, Tails, there will never be a goodbye. I'm yours, and every breath that I breathe is yours. You own me, mind, body, and soul. I'll be with you even when I'm not here. When you miss me, write to me. Give me your words to hold onto since I won't be able to hold onto you." He punctuates his statement by squeezing me tighter before lowering me to the floor.

Before I respond, he returns to his discarded bag and pulls a folded paper from the front.

"Speaking of, I have your first letter right here." He extends it to me, "You can read this one when you start to miss me. Hopefully, by then, I will already have another in the mail. Remember, for retreat, I can only receive mail if they choose to give it to me, so if you don't have a response know I"m fine, it's not because I'm not thinking about you; it's because I haven"t gotten them."

For a moment, he appears nervous, and as I look at him, I see the boy who befriended me all those years ago. He was gentler then, not as hard as now, back before his innocence was stripped, and his wolf filled the spaces where his father left scars.

My hand lifts, settling on his cheek as I meet his gaze.

"Promise me you'll be careful," I ask, knowing his penchant for risk-taking when it comes to himself.

"When am I not careful?" he responds with a smile.

"Not sure you have enough time for me to go down that list, but I mean it. You have a life here waiting for you to come home in one piece. Let someone else be the hero. You keep your head down and come back to me." I order.

"Yes, ma'am. I promise." He kisses my forehead, and my eyes fall closed, soaking in this final moment. I sigh, releasing my fear, and look back at him.

"I love you, Deacon Marlo. I'm proud of you and know you will crush this retreat. Everything here will be fine," I say, infusing the words with every drop of confidence I can find.

"I love you too, Tails," he responds, tugging at my pigtail before letting me go. He pulls his bag back over his shoulder, allowing it to hang easily on one side of his body.

I feel the absence of his warmth immediately, and my heart aches.

It"s only a few months.

Footsteps approaching behind me let us know that our time is up, so I spend those moments memorizing him. The strength of his shoulders, the line of his jaw, the lift in his eyebrow. Every tiny detail I can log as he loads his bag in the back of the white truck. He pauses at the passenger door, turning to look back at me again.

"Don't you lose that right hook. I expect to see a bunch of black eyes when I return."

My heart leaps, and I giggle, rolling my eyes. With a final wink, he climbs into the truck, and he's gone.

I stare at the road long after the taillights fade, without concern for the dropping temperature. The cold barely registers against the emptiness I feel now that I'm alone.

I'm really all on my own.

Fear builds in me, and a single tear finally escapes.

I can do this.

He's doing this for us; I can be strong for him.

My eyes fall to the folded paper still clutched in my hand, and I can't help but open it, reading it right here in the parking lot.

Tails,

Did I even make it out of the parking lot yet? Knowing you, probably not. It makes me happy to see any time away from me is too much. Do me a favor and try to have some fun while I'm gone. Not too much, but enough that the time flies, and I'm back home before you know it.

I love you. Never doubt that.

XX

D.

P.S. - Look in the tree house. I left you some money to splurge at the bookstore. What was it you said that day at lunch? "I'm never alone. As long as I have a book, I'm always with friends," Hoping you find some friends while I'm away. X