Happy Winter-Ween

HAPPY WINTER-WEEN

A VILLAINOUS THINGS NOT QUITE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

Micah POV

Gay for Lizard Dick: So I just came up with the most EPIC name for Micah’s party! [Trophy emoji]

Alien Rambo: Why does the party need a name?

The Mafia Queen: Frérot. Brother. It is best to simply allow Baby Hulk to word vomit lest he implode from the pressure.

Gay for Lizard Dick: Who’s ready?! [Praise hands emoji]

Mr. Antihero: What’s happening?

The Mouthy One: Balty is gonna name Micah’s birthday party “Congrats UR Gay: Sloppy Seconds.” [Rainbow emoji. Water droplets emoji.]

Gay for Lizard Dick: THAT’S NOT THE NAME, XANNY!!!

Deadbeat with a Capital D: It should be. I’d go to a sloppy seconds party. [Tongue emoji]

Thing One: Theo …

Deadbeat with a Capital D: Although, every night is sloppy seconds thanks to my angel sexting with the birthday boy. [Shhh emoji]

Thing Two: THEO!!!

Gay for Lizard Dick: I don’t even WANT to tell you losers now. You don’t DESERVE my epic party name. [Hmph emoji]

Lizard Dick: C’mon, beautiful. Share with the class.

The One with the Biggest Dick: Yes. Tell us. The suspense is killing me. [Eye roll emoji]

Gay for Lizard Dick: Okay, so… The party is called WINTER-WEEN!!!! [Every possible party and Halloween emoji]

The One with the Biggest Dick: Whut?

Goddess Among Men: Immediately no on anything “ween”-related, thx. [Peace sign emoji]

Alien Rambo: I’m still confused…

Gay for Lizard Dick: Well, it’s February, but Zion told me Micah’s favorite holiday is Halloween, so OBVIOUSLY we should make his birthday party a COSTUME PARTY! [Every possible party and Halloween emoji. Again.]

The Mafia Queen: Okay, but I support this…

The Mouthy One: Samesies.

The Mafia Queen: What better way to claim the crown that SHOULD have been ours last Halloween as Morticia and Gomez. Don't you agree, mon chou?

Clan Daddy: Indeed.

The Mouthy One: Ex-fucking-scuse you?? RHPS for the win because my baby looked like a goddamn snack in gold lamé! [Red lips emoji]

Mr. Antihero: [Blushing emoji ]

Lizard Dick: Actually, Antihero, the vibes were strongest with Bowser and pretty little Princess Peach…

Gay for Lizard Dick: Z!!!

Clan Daddy: I disagree, Justice. And I propose a rematch.

Lizard Dick: Deal.

The Mouthy One: DEAL!

The One with the Biggest Dick: Don’t get too excited, doofuses. Kai and I will be kicking your bony asses with our custom costumes. [Middle finger emoji]

Goddess Among Men: We will??

Deadbeat with a Capital D: No, you won’t. Not once you witness the MAJESTY of what I’ve personally designed for me and my twins. [Dramatic dance emoji]

Thing One: How the fuck did you have time to design something? Balty JUST announced this shit.

Deadbeat with a Capital D: Oh, I already had this collection created…

Deadbeat with a Capital D: For the bedroom. [Smirk emoji]

Goddess Among Men: Brother, ew.

Alien Rambo: Am I expected to wear a costume?

Lizard Dick: I’m sure Meeks will rustle up something for the two of you… assuming he doesn’t want to lose. [Smiling demon emoji]

At my eldest brother’s challenge, the seven stages of grief I’d just experienced upon discovering this text thread immediately evaporated, leaving nothing behind but cold, hard, deeply-ingrained supe competitiveness.

These motherfuckers are going down !

Respectfully.

I glanced at the time on my phone and groaned. My apparently Halloween-themed birthday party was starting in less than an hour, which meant I had no time to drive into Sunrise City for a couples’ costume.

Which is probably for the best…

Since I never got my driver’s license.

Don’t tell Zig.

My Space Daddy wasn’t around to help because I’d asked him to fly the Lodger 79 across the country to pick up the Suarez side of this batshit family—well, the ones who didn’t possess the ability to star hop.

I wonder what Gabe will be wearing…

FOCUS, MICAH!

Five minutes later, I’d torn through my closet and every drawer, but the most exciting thing I found was a fire engine-red hoodie sweatshirt.

Lame.

“Hey, Uncle Meeks!” a tiny yet booming voice nearly had me jumping out of my skin.

I spun to find Daisy, dressed in a black Juicy Couture jumpsuit with rhinestone cowboy boots and an oversized pearl necklace.

It’s giving Simon meets evil queen.

So… just Simon.

“Looking fresh, D!” I smiled, wondering if she’d snuck up on me using her newly manifested powers. “Where’d the bling come from? ”

She grinned, baring her teeth. “Gran’s old junk. Auntie Dahlia stuck everything in the attic, but I said I wanted to dig through it first.”

Of course, you did.

Gotta collect those spoils of war.

Daisy sassily flipped her hair, and I proudly remembered how integral our little queen had been in bringing my parents’ abusive reign to a satisfying end.

I leaned down to whisper conspiratorially. “Do you think you could show me where Gran’s junk is? I have to come up with costumes for me and Zig before my party starts.”

My niece gave me a slow once-over that was definitely on the judgy side before sighing heavily. “Sure, although you’re gonna have to bring the heat if you want to beat Daddy and Second Daddy in the costume contest.”

I rolled my eyes once she turned her back and led the way. Yeah, Zion looked like a reptilian Greek god in his Bowser costume, but I wasn’t trying to match him in brawn.

Because I’d lose that battle before it began.

A few minutes later, I was scrambling up the ladder to the dusty attic, hoping I’d find inspiration in whatever my older siblings had decided not to trash.

When Daisy flung open an ancient steamer trunk to reveal a pile of dresses, my heart sank. The Suarez-Salah-Stellaris did not play, and the idea of losing— on my birthday— was harshing my vibe.

I may need some herbal therapy.

Where’s Izzy?

The little queen must have sensed my defeat, as she immediately took charge. “How ‘bout a sneak attack?” She lifted something green, sequined, and slinky and shook it at me. “Dress Ziggy up like a mean, green alien. No one will see it coming!”

A vision of Ziggy’s ten thousand muscles squeezed into an evening gown almost had me collapsing to the attic floor, but I stubbornly refocused on the alien aspect.

Even though my Space Daddy had scoffed at “Earthlings’ interpretations of what they thought aliens were like,” I knew he was physically incapable of saying no to me.

What babygirl wants, babygirl gets.

A generic ‘alien’ wouldn’t cut it with this crew, however. I’d seen photos from the grand opening Halloween party at Xander’s west coast Lycra and Lace, and the costumes were not only pop culture iconic, but on point for each couple.

Although I still have no idea how Zion convinced Balty to wear a floofy Princess Peach dress…

It was practically a tutu!

A hazy memory surfaced of the first time Zig took me to a Muonova during a mission, when I’d learned that the drinks in floating space bars were no joke.

The shit that came out of my inebriated mouth was proof of that.

“REESE’S PENI—CES!” I shouted, startling Daisy but blessedly avoiding dropping a naughty word in front of my ten-year-old niece.

Adulting win!

I eagerly grabbed a pale pink, floral-print, strappy satin slip dress, along with a random red shawl and one of Pop’s old bowler hats. What I had in mind would rely on others recognizing this classic 80s movie reference, but if I could just find the right props …

“Daisy!” I shouted, causing her to jump again and scowl at me. “Can I borrow your pearls for Ziggy’s costume?”

She observed me shrewdly. “Sure, but it will cost you…”

By the time the Lodger 79 touched down on Zion’s snow-covered Deathball field, I’d styled Daisy’s hair into two enormous puffs—as commanded—thrown on the red hoodie sweatshirt and some loose jeans, and started digging through one of the outbuildings for my old bicycle.

That’s where Ziggy found me, apparently after he’d seen the outfit I’d laid out for him on the bed, judging by his adorably sour expression.

“Please tell me you’re not expecting me to wear lingerie to your birthday party, Micah…”

I gasped, abruptly releasing my bike as an even more boner-inducing vision of Ziggy in goddamn lingerie flashed through my horny little mind.

HAVE MERCY!

No doubt tasting my lust, the Stellarian smirked as he effortlessly caught the handlebars before the bike could hit the worn wooden floor.

“It’s not lingerie, Zig,” I huffed. “And you’ll be more covered than some of these other maniacs.”

Butch will be in nothing but tighty… goldies for Chrissake!

Grabbing the handlebars, I wheeled the bike outside and leaned it against the exterior wall before turning to my man. “Besides, I assume you want to win, right?”

Even though Ziggy was one of the most competitive people— er, creatures —I’d ever met, he looked unconvinced. “I’m not sure I understand the point. ”

I was about to remind him that a happy babygirl was the point, but then, an evil thought surfaced—a surefire way to tempt him into giving me what I wanted.

It’s how the game is played, after all.

“We could make it interesting…” I shrugged, matching his DGAF attitude while going in for the kill. “If you let me dress you up now, I’ll let you dress me up later… in whatever lingerie you choose.”

Ziggy was on me so fast, I was trapped against the shiplap siding before I knew what was happening, caging me in with his much larger body while I fucking melted.

“Is that what you want, babygirl?” he growled in my ear. “You want to dress me up all pretty? Tease me with satin on my skin and the promise of your perfect ass in lace so by the time I get my tendrils on you, anything that stands between me getting inside you will be ripped to shreds?”

YAS TO ALL OF THAT!!!

“Hey, birthday boy!” My eldest brother’s voice was like a record scratch on my Ziggy-induced boner. “What’s the bike for? Planning on making a getaway before B and I hand your asses to you?”

Oh, you think so…

Before I could rally to match the smack talk, Ziggy turned to face our opponent. “Actually, Justice, it is you who will taste defeat tonight. Micah has chosen costumes for us that will clinch this competition effortlessly, as he is the most impressive creature in this and all the galaxies.”

Oh… you think so?

It wasn’t the first time I’d heard this ridiculous declaration, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Ziggy told me how impressive I was at least once a day, but it never failed to make my heart pitter patter.

When Zion didn’t immediately clap back, I peered around my man, finding my brother holding up his hands in mock surrender.

“Easy, Andromeda.” He chuckled before throwing me a wink. “It’s just a little friendly competition between family. See you both in the rumpus room in ten.”

“Ten minutes?!” I hissed after Zion crunched away through the snow. “How are we gonna?—”

My words were lost as Ziggy star hopped us to my childhood bedroom—the same room I’d lived in until the day I hitched a ride into space by tethering myself to a Stellarian’s Celestial Cube.

And the same room I jerked off in for months, dreaming of that same Stellarian.

I was brought back to the present by the sight of my soon-to-be space fiancé stripping down to his Mandalorian boxer briefs.

Lord. Have. Mercy.

Ziggy was hot in any skinsuit, but in Earthling form, he was a work of art. His innocent, boy-next-door good looks—with freckles— were juxtaposed by six feet and four inches of stacked muscle.

At this point, I was allowed to eye fuck him, and that I did, growing dizzy as I followed the line of his Adonis belt toward the tasty bulge beneath the Mando print.

By the time I remembered to breathe, Zig was squeezing into the slip dress, partly covering his perfection with feminine fabric.

Rude .

The one saving grace was that every chiseled plane of his chest and abs was now straining against the satin in a borderline obscene way.

I’ll allow it.

“Where’s your costume?” he murmured absently while clasping the pearls behind his neck like the team player he was.

“I’m wearing it,” I mumbled, discreetly slurping drool back into my mouth. “I mean, almost…” I quickly kicked off my muck boots and stuffed my feet into a pair of white ‘dad sneakers.’ “And we’ll need to hop back outside to grab the bike, since that will be the most important part of our grand entrance as Elliott and E.T.…”

I trailed off as Ziggy went eerily still. When I looked up, I found him staring at me with a mix of shock and horror on his normally impassive face.

“My costume… is a… Hollywood alien?” he slowly asked, as if struggling to control his reaction to this devastating news.

So cute!

“Sure is!” I couldn’t stop the gleeful grin from stretching across my face. “Specifically E.T. when he gets dressed up like a doll by Elliott’s little sister.”

I wrestled my phone out of my pocket to show Ziggy the movie clip in question, snickering when he huffed at the big reveal.

C’mon, Zig…

Team Salah-Stellari!

As expected, my man’s desire to please me won out, since he grumbled but patiently allowed me to arrange the shawl just so. He even agreed to wear some worn E.T. slippers I dug out from the back of my closet to complete the ensemble.

Perfect.

The competitive spirit finally kicked in as he studied the image on my phone.

“My hair should be longer,” he decisively stated before magically lengthening his dirty blond hair until it brushed his shoulders.

“What the fuck?!” I gaped. “I didn’t… You can do that?”

Can other things just… grow?

Asking for… well, me.

Ziggy rolled his eyes good-naturedly and slapped the bowler hat atop his Fabio locks. “Of course. I’m controlling every cell of this skinsuit at every moment, Micah. It’s science.”

More like sorcery…

I glanced at the time again and grimaced. “Shit. Let’s go grab my bike so we can?—”

“Fly through the window like the scene where Elliott is trying to get E.T. back to his ship?” Zig finished my sentence before adorably blushing.

SWOON!

When I cocked an eyebrow, he shrugged, trying to play it off. “I may have watched the movie after we landed, since you did mention it at the Muonova…”

ALL THE SWOONS!

“Careful, Zig… Someone might think you had a crush on me,” I teased, just to see him roll his pretty eyes again. “But yeah, let’s use your scientific powers of flight to make the most badass grand entrance to a not- birthday party ever!”

He frowned. “It is still your birthday, Micah, and I have a present to give you later. ”

My gaze immediately dropped to his dick—which was extremely noticeable through the thin fabric of his costume.

I sighed dramatically. “I guess I’m just gonna have to be cool with everyone else getting a good look at my big present before it’s time to unwrap it.”

Kidding… kind of.

If anyone looks too long, we're gonna have a problem.

True to cocky— get it? —form, Ziggy smirked knowingly. “Oh, so you haven’t seen what your twins are wearing yet?”

MY twins?!

Wait…

“What are they—” I began, but then, we were hurtling through the ether yet again to pick up my bike.

It was worth it, thanks to the look of defeat on the others’ faces when we flew in through the rumpus room window.

Game over, motherfuckers!

They knew it the instant we appeared, silhouetted by the full moon, with me cackling my ass off at the handlebars and a katana-wielding murder alien perched in my bike basket.

Who’s the baddest bitch around?

Besides Ziggy, of course.

“I wasn’t aware we were allowed theatrics as part of our entry,” Simon sniffed haughtily as we came in to land. “Wolfy and I would have arranged for an orquesta típica to play the tango.”

Because we were all family now, I maturely swallowed down the urge to tell The Mafia Queen to call someone who cares.

Phone home, croissant-muncher .

If I was being honest, I mostly held my tongue because I’d been rendered speechless by the sight of Theo and the twins.

The trio were dressed as The Cat in the Hat and his minions, Thing One and Thing Two. Dressed was a strong word for Theo, though, since he was mostly covered in a red speedo and tabby-striped body paint, but the skintight footie pajamas Gabe and Dre were wearing—in black, of course—left even less to the imagination.

Lordt has meowcy….

“Cat got your tongue, Micah?” Theo purred before shifting his mischievous gaze to Ziggy. “If only I would be so lucky…”

Danger, dumbass!

Yes, these two intergalactic idiots had finally reconciled during Butch and Xander’s wedding, but I still braced for bloodshed every time Theo opened his foolish mouth.

I was pleasantly surprised when my Space Daddy only chuckled darkly. “Oh, I think Micah simply got distracted by Gabriel’s tight fit.” He nodded at the villain, making Theo huff. “Looking good, Awe.”

To my horny delight, Gabe blushed at Ziggy’s compliment before giving my decidedly un sexy outfit a slow once-over.

“Dang, Micah,” he murmured. “That outfit’s giving 80s weekend on the couch vibes. Nice and cozy…”

All coherent thought officially left the building, thanks to an inconvenient vision of Gabe getting cozy on the couch in nothing but slutty gray sweatpants.

I wanna get cozy with him.

Maybe in between him and Ziggy …

“I dunno about you, Theo,” Dre chuckled, “but I’m feeling kinda left out of this schmoopy slut-fest.”

Never in a million years would I have thought Ziggy would beat his creator to the comment section, but then, my man turned to the scarier twin and left zero crumbs.

“We could make room for you, Shock, but only if you’re willing to bottom.”

I would have sold my left nut for a photo of Dre’s reaction. All color drained from his pretty face as his gaze dropped to the extremely noticeable bulge in Ziggy’s slip dress.

Okay, but why is this kinda…

Theo broke the tension by throwing back his head and howling with laughter, and all at once, I realized I’d yet to meet a Stellarian who wasn’t an absolute brat to the core.

Dre responded by aiming such a scathing look at his brat, my ass stung from the implied punishment. Then, he grabbed Theo by the throat and star hopped the two of them to who knew where.

Probably to the depths of hell.

A smile twitched Gabe’s lips as he nodded at Zig before returning his attention to me. “So… I know you said you didn’t need any birthday presents…” He shifted awkwardly on his feet. “But I still got you something.”

It was my turn to blush as he grabbed an unwrapped jewelry box from a nearby table and shyly handed it to me. I opened it to reveal a black rope bracelet, adorned with a metal disc engraved with a sun design.

“So, I have no idea if this will work over such a long-distance…” Gabe mumbled before raising his arm to reveal a matching bracelet already on his wrist.

He then tapped his disc, and I gasped as mine emitted a subtle pulse—not unlike the pull I felt whenever Ziggy’s resonance called to me.

Called to us.

Gabe cleared his throat as his gaze flitted between me and Zig. “If it doesn’t work once you guys return to space, well… maybe you can just look at it and know I’m probably thinking about you.”

Gah!

The sheer cuteness of receiving a gift this adorable from one of the most terrifying supervillains on Earth was getting me too choked up to speak. So, as usual, Ziggy stepped in to take the lead when I couldn’t, wordlessly removing the bracelet from the box and helping me attach it to my wrist.

Double gah!

Then, he tapped the disc, humming thoughtfully when Gabe’s lit up and began vibrating.

“Fuck…” Gabe cursed before hurriedly adding, “I should have asked you if this was cool, Ziggy. It’s just… the idea of Micah leaving—of both of you leaving, actually—got me pressed, but I don’t want to intrude by checking in how I normally would.”

He paused to tap a finger against his temple, and my eyes widened as I realized how easily he could check in whenever he wanted to.

Such a villainous gentleman.

Ziggy released my wrist and stepped forward before placing a hand on Gabe’s chest, instantly settling the other man.

“Gabriel. If I wasn’t cool with this situation, I would have already removed your limbs from your body,” he calmly replied as he stepped back. “You needn’t worry, however. Micah has been working on a satellite device that will allow you to text each other even while we’re light years away in space.”

Gabe grinned wildly at me, apparently unbothered by Ziggy’s mild threat. “Really? Sheesh. You really are the G.O.A.T., dude. I guess I didn’t need to buy these bracelets after all?—”

I snatched my arm to my chest. “Excuse me, but I love my present! No take backsies!”

When Gabe laughed, I flung my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a hug, feeling the piece of Ziggy permanently lodged inside me pulse in approval of our connection.

I am the luckiest ho there ever was.

“See, mon chou?” Simon murmured to the man who’d been silently lurking beside him like a Gomez Addams-costumed shadow of death. “They are all perfectly fine with this arrangement— whatever it is…”

Suddenly remembering we had an entire audience, I immediately released Gabe and warily peeked at Wolfgang. While I’d had no problem putting Xander in his place when he’d implied we were “cheating” on our stellar collisions, I didn’t quite possess the balls required to drag the Suarez clan leader.

He’s the actual G.O.A.T. around here.

Even if his powers are useless against Stellarians.

My jaw nearly dropped to the rumpus room floor when Wolfgang blushed. “Simon…” he warned before sighing and turning to us. “I simply wanted to ensure no one on either side was getting hurt with your… unconventional relationships.”

“You know, polyamory exists, right doofus?” Violentia appeared by her eldest brother’s side, dressed in a perfectly tailored suit with thick, black and white vertical stripes.

It’s giving…

“Yeah, love is love!” Kai popped up beside her Dommy Mommy, wearing what was unmistakably Lydia Deetz’ red wedding dress from the original Beetlejuice movie.

Get it, girls!

Apparently, Ultra Violent and her princess were allowed to school The Hand of Death, because, somehow, no one died.

“I am aware, Vi.” Wolfgang’s gaze dropped—way down—to his tiny yet terrifying Morticia. “Even if I would enjoy slowly draining anyone who dared think about touching what’s mine.”

“Behave, sir,” Simon chuckled warmly. “Between Gabriel and Micah, we have quite enough boners as it is.”

Rude!

But fair.

Ziggy nodded once. “It was Luca who informed me Stellarians often form polycules with the stellar collisions of those who share their resonance. He also reassured me that not everyone involved needs to share the same bed…”

He narrowed his eyes at Theo and Dre, who’d both reappeared looking disheveled enough to confirm someone’s ass had just been wrecked.

And we all know it wasn’t Dre’s.

Even if we’re ALL still thinking about what Ziggy said.

“Perhaps I should talk to Luca about it, then,” Wolfgang absently mused. “Although, he did tell me he would be out of the office this week. Something about the Alps… ”

He trailed off as his attention was drawn to a commotion coming from across the room.

I followed his gaze and grinned at the sight of Izzy—dressed as a joint with his bleached tips dyed cherry red—loudly hyping Zion while he held Baltasar upside down for a keg stand.

Simon scoffed. “Well, it appears the rumors aren’t true— yet— or perhaps Baby Hulk is simply enjoying the Bunny Alarie Pregnancy Diet…”

I hadn’t heard any mpreg rumors, but I also tried to steer clear of my eldest brother’s sex life. All I knew was I was thankful Baltasar was wearing something beneath his tutu?—

OH GAWD, IT’S JUST A JOCK STRAP!!!

Desperately attempting to erase the vision of my brother-in-law’s ass from my retinas, I turned toward the door just in time to see an exhausted-looking Butch and Xander stumble in, carrying their newborn twins.

Yay!

I’d always had a soft spot for kids. Maybe it was because I had younger siblings, or because I was kind of a big kid myself, or because the big house had no shortage of mini Salahs running around at all times, but I just liked the little monsters.

Ziggy would look so fucking hot wearing a baby carrier…

Even if I hadn’t already felt this way, I would have needed greater superpowers than I possessed to resist the overwhelming cuteness of the Suarez-Holt babies—especially when they were costumed as mini Captain Masculine and Doctor Antihero.

With the knit booties?

C’mon now !

“What is this emotion I’m tasting?” Ziggy’s smooth voice cut through my baby fevered haze.

“He’s looking at Twins 2.0.,” Gabe murmured, apparently teaming up with Ziggy to decode my current flavor of horniness.

My double dick-down dreams have been reawakened.

Ziggy’s freckled face scrunched up as he struggled to understand. “You find the tiny Earthlings… cute?”

I rolled my eyes at the adorably clueless love of my life. “Duh. All babies are cute.”

Just listen for the ticking of my biological clock, Space Daddy.

It was no surprise Zig still seemed confused, but when I turned back to Gabe, I realized— as one slutty sub to another— he had my number.

“Is it that you think they’re cute…” He stepped closer, lowering his voice to an octave that had my toes curling. “Or that you know how cute you’d look all knocked up?”

Ziggy froze. I froze. Gabriel smirked, and Simon briskly clapped his hands together.

“All right! That is quite enough intel gathering on the alien polycule, wouldn’t you agree, mon chou? Especially as I do not think babies are cute in the slightest…”

“Good luck with that, tiny tyrant,” Violentia cackled as she grabbed Kai’s hand and dragged her after the retreating clan leaders. “It’s no secret Wolfy has baby fever.”

I vaguely registered Kai quietly complaining that she’d been “enjoying the show” before Gabe went in for the kill.

“It sounds like what your babygirl wants for his birthday is for you to breed him, Ziggy. ”

I gasped and stumbled backward, directly into a familiar wall of hard muscles.

And an even harder cock.

“He does like being bred…” Ziggy mused thoughtfully as countless tendrils began circling my body, capturing me like a spider wrapping a fly in his web for consumption. “My babygirl loves when I fill him with so much seed, it drips out of him for days.”

I’m in danger.

I knew my slutty bestie enjoyed the same things I did—that he also loved being pumped full of cum like a happy little breeder—but with the way Gabe was laser focused on me at this moment, it was clear he was thinking of a very different scenario.

Delicious danger.

Ziggy chuckled evilly as Gabe moaned—because there was nothing he enjoyed more than delivering torture.

Space Daddy Edgelord.

“Maybe I’ll let you breed him too someday, Gabriel.”

To an outsider, it might have looked like my man was being an asshole to the competition, and while that was partly true, he would never dangle me like a treat in front of just anyone.

Only Gabe.

Ziggy was taking the lead on this slow dance—helping us test the waters while we all figured out our boundaries in this “unconventional arrangement.”

Because it’s too important to fuck up.

Switchy bish that he was, Gabe was still no match for Zig’s dirty talk. The villain full-body shuddered before closing his eyes and dipping his head to tenderly brush his lips over mine.

“Someday…” he murmured before taking a step back, reminding me he’d been the one to slow us down when we shared that kiss on the beach last month. “Happy birthday, Micah.”

“Horny fucking glo worms…” Xander muttered as he and Butch passed us on their way to join the rest of the family.

Girl, bye.

I tore my gaze away from Gabe’s lips to discover he was glowing, as were Dre and Theo on the other side of him. Ziggy’s resonance was humming softly, and my chest grew tight, reminding me how intrinsically linked I was to these four Stellarians.

All because Zig opened up, to me and to them.

Now, my chest swelled with pride. This alien was my end game—my stellar collision—and while things might eventually go further with Gabe, it would always involve Ziggy, because he was the one who’d made the connection possible.

He has given me everything I want.

“Some day…” I quietly replied before a filthy idea took the wheel. “But you’re welcome to ‘check in’ while Zig breeds me enough for both of you.”

I tapped my temple to make my invitation crystal clear, and Ziggy’s dick twitched against my lower back—confirming he was also on board with my exhibitionist plan.

Partners ‘til the end.

Gabe’s blue eyes widened in surprise, and that was the last thing I saw before my back hit the dashboard in the Lodger’s cockpit .

Ludicrous speed—GO!

The current space race was to get naked as quickly as possible. My sweatshirt and tee were unceremoniously sliced away by Ziggy’s starry katanas while he used his human hands to impatiently fling off his hat, shawl, and necklace before tackling my sneaks, socks, and jeans.

In no time, I was in nothing but my unlicensed Spaceballs: The Boxer Briefs while my man was pitching a tent in thin floral satin.

Why is that so hot?

“Please, Zig,” I begged, helping him shimmy me out of my underwear. “I… I need…”

He laughed as I trailed off on a desperate whine, so I grabbed my ankles and planted my feet on the dash. As expected, that shut him up, his gaze immediately dropping to my hole, and the rabid hunger in his expression made me shiver.

To my incredible disappointment, instead of dropping to his knees to tongue-fuck me or lubing me up with a tendril, Ziggy backed off. I was momentarily appeased when he lost his Mando boxer briefs, but when he started to pull the slip dress over his head, I panicked.

“No!” I shouted, way louder than was necessary. “I mean… leave it on. Please. I like… ”

My cheeks heated as I struggled to articulate what exactly I found so hot about this scenario.

Besides Ziggy.

Besides everything.

Because he understood me—and my horny little brain—better than anyone, Ziggy stepped closer, and I hissed in a breath when his satin-covered dick slid over my hole .

“You like me to look pretty while I own you, babygirl?” He ran his hands up my legs, his feather light touch excruciating. “You want to dress me up like a fuck doll before I breed you?”

“ Please,” My voice cracked as I writhed beneath him, desperate for more—of his filthy mouth and the rest. “I-I need…”

“So needy,” he casually confirmed, subtly thrusting so all I got was a hint of slippery pressure with every pass. “So desperate to be filled that one cock isn’t enough for you anymore, hmm?”

Fuck.

“Zig…” I tried to sit up, ready to record-scratch our playtime if his old insecurities were triggered.

“Such a slut,” he continued, gently pushing me back down with a reassuring smile. “My slut…”

Yes.

“Yours,” I hummed happily as he resumed edging me with satin-wrapped steel and that fucking mouth.

“…and therefore, you’re my slut to share.” He froze and cocked his head before his smile turned into a smirk. “You can let him in now, Micah.”

I squinted at the alien looming over me, wondering what he was talking about until I felt a polite but firm tap on my brain, along with a familiar presence.

Ohhh…

Ziggy once mentioned that ever since Gabe resonated for me, he could feel the villain in our bond—could feel all of them.

This had ramped up my anxiety at first, since I couldn’t imagine anything worse than a physical reminder of this larger-than- us connection, especially if Zig was uncomfortable with the situation. He insisted he wasn’t, reminding me of Honnor—his other parent—and how familiar and comforting they’d always felt to me, even when we thought they were the enemy.

It’s just resonance things.

“Okay…” I sighed, unable to resist tilting my hips just so in hopes of finding relief. “How do I let him in?”

My Space Daddy chuckled softly as two tendrils lifted the hem of his slip so a third could snake beneath and prep his dick with that magical lubrication of his.

Fuck yes.

Ziggy smiled as another tendril began spreading lube over my hole. “Just show him this…”

I tensed, realizing I absolutely did not want to share how mind-meltingly hot my man looked right now with anyone else.

Hmph.

Yet again understanding me completely, Ziggy’s smile turned soft. “Not me. This.”

My back arched as a thick tendril forcefully breached my hole, and just like that, the pain-pleasure that followed was no longer just my own.

“Fuck, Micah… ”

“Fuck!” I gasped, suddenly feeling Gabe in my head—knowing he was experiencing what I was experiencing…

Or rather, what someone else is.

“Is he…” I faltered as Ziggy crooked his tendril to hit my p-spot. “Is h-he in your head too? ”

Ziggy’s lip curled as he removed his tendril and notched his cock at my opening. “He is, but only because he promised to be a good boy.”

A blast of subby pride swept through me, causing Ziggy’s smirk to return full force.

This was huge. My man could brush it off as asserting dominance and staking his claim—and again, this was partly true—but he was also allowing Gabe in, allowing him to access the perspective he craved.

The one where he’s inside me.

Ohmyfucking—

“Gaaawwwd…” I choked out as Ziggy’s cock slid home and pure pleasure washed over me from multiple sources.

“ Mmm… you feel so fucking good.”

“So good,” Ziggy confirmed as he kicked off the slow rhythm he loved to torture me with.

Gabe was obviously soaking in this secondhand experience like a slutty sponge, but I got the sense something was happening on his end as well—even if he was keeping the details to himself.

Which is definitely for the best.

Seeing Theo in action would be a boner killer.

Dre, though…

“Such a greedy slut,” Ziggy snickered as he delivered a sharp thrust, and I blushed as I realized Gabe was sharing my filthy thoughts with him.

No fair!

“Come down here,” I huffed, reaching for my man with grabby hands. “Show off those unhinged sex beast skills of yours.”

Zig rolled his eyes but obeyed, pressing his pecs to mine, forcing his cock deeper.

Not deep enough.

“I don’t need to show off,” he purred as he rolled his hips, making me see stars. “We all know how skilled I am at breeding you.”

No lies detected.

“Breed me, Space Daddy,” I moaned, running my hands down his back, loving how his muscles— and ass, let’s be real —flexed beneath the satin.

Now let’s make things interesting…

“Breed me like you want to breed Dre.”

Oops.

Ziggy froze mid-thrust to gape down at me, but what really caught my attention was the distinct blast of lust that shot through our bond.

From Gabe.

OooOOOOoooo…

“Show me how you’d do it.” I hooked my ankles around Ziggy’s thick thighs, letting him know I was ready to be railed. “Show us how you’d fuck that villain into submission.”

Gabe made a choked sound in my head but didn’t protest, which pretty much confirmed he was all aboard this taboo train of thought.

And that’s why we’re slutty besties .

Ziggy hummed before lowering his handsome face to deliver the sweetest kiss.

Huh?

“That’s to remind you how deeply I care for you,” he whispered against my lips. “Because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

HUH?!

Before I could finish processing what he said, Ziggy unleashed a dozen tendrils and yanked me off his dick. He then flipped me over and dropped me back onto the dash face-first, but I couldn’t help noticing how he positioned a few tendrils to cushion my fall.

Aww… Space Daddy can’t actually be mean to me.

So cute.

Apparently, my assumption was incorrect, as two tendrils suddenly wrapped around my ankles and painfully wrenched my legs open, making me yelp. My upper body was then pinned down, forcing me to awkwardly balance on my tiptoes while bent over and spread wide.

Presented for the taking.

Ziggy stepped closer and used his hands to pull my ass cheeks apart, squeezing one then the other—making me gasp as he inspected me with a touch that was detached and clinical.

And weirdly hot…

“What a whore you are,” he muttered, almost to himself. “You act as if no one’s ever fucked you before, but look at this sloppy hole. Look how loose and well-used it is.”

Oh gawd !

I knew this was just roleplay, but my face was burning at the thought of Gabe seeing me like this through Ziggy’s eyes. My dick was way into it, however, if the slick metal surface beneath me was any indication.

“Tell me how badly you want this,” Ziggy growled, curling over me and running his tongue along the side of my neck, causing me to slide through my own precum. “Tell me how desperate you are for my cock.”

By the time Ziggy positioned the cock in question against my admittedly well-used hole, I was ready to beg for relief, but then, Gabe came back online to remind me of the game I’d wanted to play.

“Dre would never.”

“Fuck you,” I hissed, even if I would never say such a thing to the love of my life.

Please don’t be mad at me!

Ziggy paused before huffing a laugh, his breath cool against my sweaty skin.

“Wreck his ass.”

“Gladly,” Ziggy replied before slamming into me so violently, my vision momentarily whited out.

FUCK YAS!

As much as I adored when Zig was sweet to me, I was a complete ho for the times my unhinged sex beast wrecked my Earthling ass.

Fuck me to the moon and back, Space Daddy.

Ziggy showed me no mercy after that. His top tier filthy talk morphed into animalistic snarls I could barely hear over the sound of skin slapping skin. With how punishing his thrusts were and how his fingers and tendrils dug into me, I knew I’d have bruises for days.

If I hadn’t been so immobilized, I might have pretended to fight back, but since I had no choice but to take the pounding I was given, I did so like a stoic, horny little champ.

Happy birthday to me!

The first time I came, I bit my lip so hard, I tasted blood. Anything to not make a sound.

Because Dre would never.

This only made Ziggy more feral, and when he finally came—while sinking his teeth into the nape of my neck to hold me in place—I reached back to grab onto his long hair, imagining it was someone else who was breeding me…

Who was actually breeding someone else.

Might as well make it more interesting.

“F-f-fuuuuuck…”

Knowing Gabe was blasting off dragged another orgasm out of me, and it was the last thing I registered before everything went dark.

When I came to, Zig had me cleaned up, wrapped in a blanket, and cuddled in his lap in the captain’s chair. My only complaint was how empty I felt—not just without Ziggy’s dick in my ass or Gabe’s presence in my head, but because of the absence of my favorite post-fuck ritual.

The part where I drip for days.

I wiggled a little just to make sure before lifting my head so he could see my pout.

Panic shot through our bond as Zig ran his hands over my body and searched my face. “I didn’t… I didn’t hurt you, did I, Micah? Fuck. I forgot to check if you remembered your safeword?—”

I silenced him with a kiss. “My safeword is ‘Stormtrooper,’ and I loved pretending I was Dre getting owned by my skerry Space Daddy.”

With long hair…

As if this night couldn’t get any better, Ziggy blushed and dropped his gaze. “I loved it too… but mostly because it was you.”

Right answer.

Yeah, it might not seem ‘fair’ that I got to lust after hottie villain twins while Ziggy was mine all mine, but he’d already told me he had no interest in Gabe or Dre, so everyone was happy.

Doesn’t mean there won’t be fanfic…

I returned my attention to the issue at hand. “What happened to all your cum, though? Don’t you like to watch it drip out of me?”

You lovable pervert.

Ziggy sexily smirked. “I may have put you to sleep for a bit so I could lick it out of your perfect ass while you were helpless to stop me.”

Oh.

I’ll allow it.

I sniffed haughtily, even as I preened. “Fine, but manipulating inorganic material to create butt plugs is one of the perks of my powers…”

I trailed off as my man loudly cleared his throat and pointedly glanced over my shoulder. When I wiggled in his hold so I could turn and follow his gaze, my jaw dropped .

A brand new, framed certificate was hanging on the cockpit wall, but when I moved to slide off Ziggy’s lap to investigate, he tightened his hold and unleashed a tendril to bring it closer.

He cleared his throat again and read it aloud, “This certificate officially acknowledges that Micah Salah, aka Exo-Tech, is the most impressive creature in this and all the galaxies.”

It looked extremely official, and when I peered closer, I saw it was signed by Ziggy Andromeda, along with Honnor and Bron as the new heads of Astrum Force Command, and stamped by the librarians at The Knowledge.

Ohmygawd, staaaahp…

“Ziiiig…” I sniffled, snatching the certificate from him so I could hold it close. “You can’t… This is just your opinion. It’s not fact.”

He scoffed, gravely offended. “The Knowledge is intergalactic history as told through eye-witness accounts. I have personally witnessed your greatness, Micah—including when you saved the Kaalas’ libraries from being destroyed by my kind. Your heroism deserves to be recognized.”

I’m so in love with this idiot.

I nodded, allowing his tendrils to rehang the certificate in its place of honor while I collected my thoughts. “T-thank you, Zig. It’s the best birthday present I’ve ever received.” I sighed. “It’s too bad we don’t know when your birthday is…”

For witchy bitch reasons.

Ziggy shrugged. “I could access the memories of this Earthling skinsuit and use their birthday.” His irises flashed, revealing galaxies beneath as his gaze grew distant. “June 21st. ”

I gasped, loving everything about this. “Omgggg! You being a summer baby is perfect because of your adorable freckles.” When he scowled, I gleefully continued. “Okay, so, you’re a Cancer sun… I’d say you’re a Capricorn moon and Taurus rising…”

Unsurprisingly, Zig looked more confused than when I’d said babies were cute, but then my phone buzzed from within my shredded jeans pocket, and I unleashed a mechanical tendril to retrieve it.

Just more ‘impressive’ supe things, no big deal…

King of the Monsters: I assume you’re busy with that Alienussy, Meeks, but we decided you and Ziggy won the costume contest. [Trophy emoji]

King of the Monsters: Simon tried to argue, but we overruled his tiny ass.

King of the Monsters: And we’re about to put on E.T. to celebrate, so come back and hang… before you go runaway bride on us again. [Chapel emoji]

Big bro knows my end game.

I showed Zion’s messages to Ziggy, who nodded in approval of our victory before texting back that we’d be there in five. Then, we star hopped to the Lodger’s bedroom to quickly change into matching flannel pajama pants and the ridiculous tee shirts I had made for us.

Ziggy’s said, “I come in peace” while mine said, “I’m peace.”

Yes, I’m very proud.

Upon arriving back in the rumpus room, we squeezed onto one of the couches with Zion and Balty, who was looking dazed but euphoric.

“He hugged Wolfgang,” Zion explained before sighing heavily. “It did not end well.”

“Baby Hulk temporarily died, as did I during first contact, but everything’s fine now,” Simon serenely explained, as if resurrection from instant death was normal among this crowd.

Apparently, it is.

“No one else is allowed to touch me!” Wolfgang hollered from a lone armchair he’d dragged to the far side of the room.

Duly fucking noted, dude.

Simon laughed and strode to join his salty inventus while Zion pressed play on the movie.

Once the lights dimmed, I snuck a glance toward the loveseat where the Suarez-Stellari throuple lounged to find they’d also changed into “cozy” wear.

Black sweatpants!

Close enough.

Gabe was peeking at me through his eyelashes with the cutest shy, secretive smile on his face, and I smiled at him in return.

Then, my gaze drifted to the others.

Dre was scowling at me with a rage I could taste, and when I glanced back at Gabe, his expression had turned sheepish.

What a chatty slut.

I love it.

Theo approved of my filthy fantasies, however, because when my gaze landed on him, he shot me a wink that was zero percent lechery and one thousand percent bratty solidarity .

Okay, maybe Theo’s cool after all.

Maybe.

Probably not.

I returned my attention to the screen to find poor E.T. being abandoned by his kind—left alone on a strange planet where he had no one to look out for him.

Instinctively, I grabbed Ziggy’s hand and gave it a squeeze, reminding him he had me.

And now, he has us.

I didn’t just mean the throuple, or Ziggy’s tiny yet terrifying frérot, but every fool in this room. He’d originally come to this planet with only revenge in mind, but instead, he found forgiveness and family.

And love.

Even if neither of us have said it yet…

Confirming all of the above, Ziggy squeezed me back but kept his gaze fixed on the screen, already knowing our favorite outcast alien not only found his family but his way home in the end.

To infinity… and beyond gone.