Chapter 22

Lake watched a wide range of emotions play across Nix's face before he settled on reservation. His mouth was good at lying, but he tended to give himself away with his expression, even someone as self-absorbed as West had to have picked up on it.

"Why do you want me to do that?" Nix asked, then threw up a hand to stop him from answering. "Look, it's been a really long day, and honestly? That whole dead thing, fake or not, totally freaked me out, so if we could just—"

"The bathroom is that way." He motioned with his chin to his right at the door that had been left ajar this morning.

Nix stared at it and frowned.

"I'm telling you to wash up, Songbird," he said.

"Like…" he swallowed, "alone?"

"Is that an invitation?" Lake knew it wasn't. The other guy wasn't lying right now. He really was spooked and out of sorts, the real question was why? When Lake had first arrived, West had seemed more uncomfortable than Nix—most likely due to his fear of luk, not that he would have shared that information. It wasn't until after they'd started discussing what could potentially be done to the hacker that Nix started acting strangely.

Which put Lake on edge.

He'd been certain he'd chosen correctly, that, while he had a secret, that secret wouldn't have anything to do with the hacker. But…If Nix was this concerned for him, did that mean they weren't strangers?

Was he playing them?

Lake shifted slightly on his feet, not liking that idea at all. If that were the case, and Yejun found out…

It was too soon after the last one, and he'd yet to heal fully. Yejun very rarely let people get close to him. He had his flings and other friends from the art department, but they were "friends" not people he actually confided in or trusted. Lake hadn't been here to witness it, but according to West, their boy had fully let his guard down with this one girl last year.

The one who'd turned out to be working with the hacker.

When he'd discovered she'd only been using him to climb the ranks on the app and glean information about the Demons to send back to her partner he'd lost his mind.

"I'd rather it not be," Nix confessed, noticeably holding his breath as though he were afraid his rejection would set Lake off.

"Did West fuck you before you found the luk?"

Nix's brow furrowed deeper and he shook his head.

Lake sighed. "Pretty sure I promised not to have sex with you until they both had already. Relax, Songbird. It's just a shower, and you can help yourself. Unless you're so freaked out you need me to hold your hand and wash your hair for you?"

"No." Nix started for the door, halting halfway there. "My clothes…"

"Pretty sure I ordered you to take them off." He retreated the single step forward he'd taken and leaned back against the closed door, crossing his arms. The distance should make Nix more comfortable, should make it apparent he had no intentions of touching him right now. "I just want a show, Songbird. That's all."

"A show," he repeated dumbly before clearing his throat. Determinedly, he reached for the buttons of his shirt, slipping them through the holes one by one with ease.

"The first time I asked you to strip on camera, your hands shook so bad." Lake felt the corner of his mouth tip upwards, but he didn't stop it. That was a pleasing memory. He'd invited Nix into a private chatroom and offered up a Favor. He'd been a bit worried at the time that Nightingale, whoever he was, would refuse. "You surprised me by how quickly you took me up on my offer that afternoon."

Nix undid the last button and pulled the shirt off, biceps flexing as he exposed himself to Lake's hungry gaze.

"Feel free to toss it on the bed," Lake suggested, and when Nix snorted, he tipped his head in silent question.

"Free is a funny word coming from you, that's all."

"You're very honest tonight."

"Don't you mean brazen?" He folded the shirt and carefully set it on the end of the bed before reaching for his jeans. He slid the zipper down and pulled them off without hesitation, moving on to his boxers next.

"I don't mind how you are," Lake said. "Most people flirt with us or get shy."

"Scared," Nix corrected, and this time it was Lake's turn to snort.

"Believe it or not, Songbird, you're in a favorable position. People at this school would kill to spend even an hour in your shoes. You've got the attention of all three of us."

"Even if I don't want it?"

"You do." Lake had seen that truth clear as day. "Maybe not in the beginning. But now…" Something had changed Nix's mind, swayed him toward them. "Could it be the sex? You fucked Yejun a couple of days ago, didn't you? Was it that good?"

He'd always been a little bit curious, considering his friend's revolving bedroom door. That was as far as it went though. Lake had never desired to try Yejun out himself, and fortunately, Yejun hadn't either.

"I've seen him screw before," Lake continued, mostly to distract himself as Nix stepped out of his black boxer briefs and straightened. "It appeared as though he was good at it."

"He is," Nix replied. Then he just stood there, legs slightly parted, shoulders pulled back.

He was giving Lake the chance to look his fill.

Cute.

"You weren't this confident before either," Lake pointed out.

"Yeah, well, a lot's happened in a short amount of time. I adjusted." Nix shrugged like it was no big deal. Like he hadn't just been trying to renege on their agreement less than fifteen minutes ago downstairs.

Something sharp sliced through the center of his chest and Lake clenched his jaw against it. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?" the frown returned tenfold.

"What you're hiding," Lake reiterated. "Tell me now, Songbird, while there's still time to forgive you."

He glanced away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're a better liar than that." Was he trying to hint to Lake that he was on to something out of guilt? Or had that been a mere slip in his armor? Perhaps he really was too unnerved after the day's events.

Meaning it was the best time for Lake to push, to poke at him until he caved and spilled the big secret he'd been hiding from them.

Lake inwardly cursed. "Go take your shower."

Nix bolted across the room and disappeared into the bathroom, practically slamming the door behind him. This was another mistake he usually wouldn't have made. He was careless. But why? Whatever the reason, it couldn't be in Lake's favor.

As soon as the sound of running water came through the wooden door, Lake lifted his multi-slate and sent a message in the group chat he shared with West and Yejun.

Maestro: One of us has to stay with him all day tomorrow. He can never be left alone. Understood?

West replied first, his response coming in a second before the sound of classical music picked up down the hall.

Hellhound: Why? You worried about him?

Lake moved away from the door to avoid the music and started to undress as their messages kept coming in.

Incubus: I don't think this person intends to hurt him. They just wanted to shake him up a bit, that's all. Convince him to ditch us and save himself or whatever. Don't read too far into it. You've got enough on your plate.

Hellhound: June is right. We'll take care of it and find whoever slipped that in Nixie's bag. You don't need to worry. I'm hacking into Foxy U right now. If anyone mentioned it to anyone through posts or DMs, I'll know.

Foxy U was the university's private social media. Everyone on campus used it, including professors and alumni.

Lake pulled on a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt before pouring a glass of water from the pitcher left by the windowsill. The large bay window looked out to the side of the mountain, so the view was mostly stone and hanging branches from two large oaks growing out of the side. On nights like this, where it poured, water ran like a river down it, reflecting in the lights of his bedroom. It was soothing, and usually he'd stand there and watch it for a while, allow it to help ease the tension in his shoulders and relieve him of whatever had stressed him out that day.

But he could hear Nix moving around in the bathroom and knew he wouldn't spend too long in there for fear of Lake changing his mind and trying to come in while he was nude.

Lake moved back around the bed and set the glass on the end table built into the wall before responding to his friends.

Maestro: That's not what I'm worried about. Didn't you see the way he was acting? He's thinking about running.

Hellhound: He wouldn't get very far.

That sounded possessive. Had West formed an attachment to Nix already? When? As far as Lake was aware, the Songbird had spent most of his time with Yejun as of late.

Incubus: I'll talk to him.

Maestro: I don't want you to talk to him. We tell him we're onto him and that'll just make him want to run more. Just make sure he isn't left on his own. Got it?

He undid the strap of his device and tossed it onto his desk before he could get a hold of his frustration. Bowing his head, he clenched and unclenched his fists and focused on inhaling and exhaling to the beat of four, like his father had taught him when he was a child.

Emotions were dangerous. They were tricky and controlling. Only a fool would allow something like that to rule over him.

Lake was no fool.

Hellhound: Jealous much?

Incubus: Understood. None of us want him to run.

The bathroom door opened and Lake remained hunched over the desk, listening to Nix's footsteps come to a stop.

"Quit hovering and get in here," he snapped, cringing as he lost his cool a second time. Lake straightened and turned just as Nix entered.

His hair was damp, and he'd slung a towel around his narrow hips, his right hand clutching the white material with a death grip. It would have been annoying to see, but after everything they'd already put him through his first week here, Lake couldn't really blame him for being suspicious.

"Those are for you," he motioned to the clothing he'd set out when he'd been getting dressed himself and dropped down into the wooden chair in front of his desk. The desk was set against the same wall as the bed, part of the same attached piece of dark wood that made up the end table.

Seeing him seated helped ease some of the tension in Nix's shoulders, but it didn't last. The second the Songbird picked up the bundle of clothing, he hesitated all over again.

Lake propped an elbow against the surface of his desk and then rested his chin in his palm. "It's not like you've got anything I haven't already seen. Literally ten minutes ago even."

He had enough self-control not to force the guy to sleep with him tonight, but that didn't make him a saint. Lake wouldn't pass up the opportunity to see all that toned form on full display. He'd make Nix dress for him.

Would make him dress up in his clothing.

Nix unraveled the snow-white sweatpants first, holding them up in front of him. They weren't the same height exactly, but a couple of inches wouldn't make too much of a difference. He set them aside and grabbed the shirt, also in the same pale shade, yanking that on over his head.

"Underwear?" Nix stared at the pants as though unable to meet Lake's gaze.

"Is it due to pride that you have to ask, or embarrassment?" Lake couldn't tell, and that bothered him. He wanted to know everything there was to know about the Songbird. Right down to the way he took his toast in the morning.

"I'm used to taking care of myself," Nix finally admitted after a lengthy pause where it appeared as though he was trying to get out of it.

Well then he was going to absolutely hate this next part.

Lake rose from his chair and stalked forward, noting when Nix sucked in a sharp breath, though he remained where he stood and didn't try to back away. Once he reached him, he hooked a finger into the top of the towel and tugged, the thick material falling away. He smirked when Nix's hands fisted.

"Put your pants on, Songbird." He gave him a second, turning to grab the smaller towel he'd left on the top of his dresser.

Nix had one leg in the pants and was balancing to get in the other when he came back, his cheeks stained that bright pink shade that Lake had found endearing right from the start. He was brave, even when he was terrified, and had impeccable self-control.

It was the latter that fascinated Lake the most. As someone who'd always prided himself on that very thing, it was interesting to see someone else display similar features. The difference was, Lake understood why he did it. Why he contained his true self and forced himself to do things he didn't actually want to do.

But why did Nix?

Why was Nix here with him right now instead of tucked safely in his dorm room with his annoying roommate? Or better yet, why wasn't he still at Hyacinth University on the other side of the planet?

Once Nix was fully clothed, Lake draped the smaller towel over his head and began to dry his hair.

"Why are you like this?" Nix asked, his voice cutting through the quiet between them, giving Lake momentary pause.

"Like what?" He went back to his task, taking care with the silky strands. Wet like this, they looked a lot like spun gold, and he found himself distracted by the glint and gleam. The Songbird was so pretty, a mixture of delicate yet firm. If Lake hadn't claimed him right away, there was little doubt in his mind that students would have flocked to him trying to get a taste for themselves—male, female, didn't matter. They'd all want a piece of Nix if they had the chance.

"I wish you wouldn't be this gentle," Nix admitted. "It confuses me."

"So you'd rather I toss you around and mess you up?" He wasn't West.

"You know that's not at all what I mean."

"Do I?"

"Forget it." Nix pushed him away and ran his fingers through his hair. "There. All dry."

Lake sighed. "There's really no pleasing you, Songbird."

"This isn't about pleasing me and we both know it."

He cocked his head and waited for him to explain.

"You're luring me into a false sense of security," Nix stated. "I'm well aware of what you're doing here, Lake. I just can't figure out your motive."

"I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours."

"This again." Nix took a deliberate step back.

"I won't let it go until I uncover what you're hiding."

"Why? I'm doing everything you want me to do. Why can't you just be satisfied with that? I'm not even convinced this whole hacker thing is even real at this point or if you three just made it up to trick me. Is this fun for you? Using me?"

He snorted. "I haven't even begun to use you." Lake captured a strand of his hair between two fingers. "And the hacker is very real. I wouldn't joke about Essential business."

They weren't going to get anywhere tonight. Even though he'd had the most interaction with Nix out of them all, it was clear he'd fallen behind somewhere. For a moment, he'd worried that Nix was about to suggest staying with Yejun instead, and he wasn't sure how he would react to that.

Not well, that was sure.

"Have some water and then get into bed," he instructed, returning to his desk.

"You're not sleeping?" Nix followed and eyed the glass of water, but Lake waited until he'd picked it up and taken a sip before answering.

"I have a paper due in a couple of days," he said. "I'll work on that while you rest."

"You're going to do homework?" Nix pursed his lips. "All night?"

"Why? Need me to hold you until you fall asleep?"

He slammed the glass back down on the end table and then yanked the covers off the bed and slipped beneath them. Nix settled on his side, facing Lake, and it was obvious he wanted to ask something but was debating how well that might be received.

"What?" Lake helped him out, flicking his tablet on and lifting his stylus so he could begin going over his notes.

"Before, when you'd send me Favors," Nix said, "they'd always come at random hours."

"So?"

"Do you actually sleep? Do you even have a paper due?"

Lake set the tablet back down and met his curious gaze. Sometimes, it was wiser to give an inch to take a mile. "I have sleep anxiety. Have ever since I was a child. Back then, West used to sneak into my room after his father had gone to bed. It wasn't so bad then, knowing that he was with me."

"He made you feel safe." Nix nodded his head on the pillow, and there was no judgment in his tone. If he thought that it was pathetic for a grown man to still have childlike fears, he didn't show it. "What are you afraid is going to happen? Anything specific?"

He considered it. "I suffered from fairly terrible insomnia after my parent's deaths. At some point, the stress over whether or not I'd be able to fall asleep at night got to me."

Lake would spend the entire day worrying over it. Fearing another restless night where he stared up at his ceiling blankly, praying for sleep to take him. Those first couple of months after were the worst when he was awake. His parents' faces appeared constantly, or he'd recall the last words they'd spoken to him.

The smell of his mother's perfume…

His father's laugh.

"We were close," he found himself revealing, giving Nix far more than he'd initially asked for, yet unable to make himself stop. "It's rare for families of our station, but we were. Growing up with them as my parents was like a dream."

And then that dream had shattered, ripped from his fourteen-year-old hands.

"How did they die?"

"An intruder," Lake said, digging his fingernails into his palm to keep himself from giving into the sweeping anger. Instead, he kept his expression controlled and his back straight as he held Nix's unwavering gaze. "My parents ran a successful investment company; that sort of thing comes with risk. A client blamed them and chose the worst course of action available."

Nix slowly sat up, swiveling so he was sitting cross-legged and fully facing him. "He broke into your house at night intending to kill them?"

Lake nodded.

"I'm so sorry."

"You sound like you really mean that."

"You're pretty great at reading people," Nix pointed out. "So you know that I do."

Yes, he did, but for some reason that made him uncomfortable. Not talking about his parents, but this. Nix's reaction. The way he was looking at him, not with pity, but something else. Something a lot like compassion.

"What about your cousin?" Lake needed to change the subject and get it off of him. "What was her name?"

"Branwen," he hesitated, yet eventually answered.

"How did she die?"

Nix started picking at the comforter, but just before Lake could say never mind, he whispered, "She took her own life."

That…was unexpected. He'd assumed sudden accident or illness. But that…Nix was so strong-willed. Lake had figured he'd learned that type of strength from his family. Perhaps not?

"Did she have a good reason?"

Nix's gaze instantly darkened, his shoulders drawing back in clear insult. "Is there ever a good reason to kill yourself?"

"There are understandable ones," he shrugged. "I'm not saying it's forgivable."

"She doesn't need my forgiveness," Nix snapped. "She was in pain. So much pain that she decided dying would be better than living."

Lake searched his face. "And you're not mad about that? That she gave up?"

"That's a horrible way of putting it."

"Maybe," he agreed. "But I'm also not wrong."

"That's…" Nix dropped his head into his hand and rubbed at his forehead. "Someone bullied her. Someone pushed her to that point."

"Ah," one of the pieces clicked into place, "so you are angry, just not at her. You've chosen to place all of that blame and anguish on someone else. Were the two of you really that close? So much so that you can't even stand the idea of her doing something wrong? Of making the wrong choice?"

"Stop."

"Who was the bully?"

Nix wavered and then admitted, "I don't know."

Was that the secret? Lake needed to thread carefully from here on.

"Is that why you really upended your entire life, Nix?" he asked. "Is that really why you're attending Foxglove Grove?" When he wasn't met with denial, he pressed further. "Was she a student here?"

Lake stood after a moment of silence, but that seemed to be all it took to shake Nix out of it.

He lifted his head stubbornly and replied in a tight voice, "Yes."