4

“You want my dick?” he asked.

I did. But I wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted me to say, so I didn’t answer. His smile had disappeared from his face, though remnants of it lingered in his eyes.

“I asked you a question.”

Shit, he was serious. “Yeah.”

“Yeah, what?”

“Yeah. I want your dick.”

“Good. Get on your knees.”

I did as I was told, sliding down the side of the bed onto my knees. My heart beat fast and my feet shoved under the drape of the comforter as Luis unbuckled his pants and pulled his semihard cock out over the band of his boxer briefs. His dick was beautiful: thick, smooth, and uncut, with one noticeable vein running along the top side of it, disappearing under the surface about halfway down its length. His foreskin had partially retracted over the head, which was slick with precome. A thick bush of curly black hair sprouted from the base and trailed around his thickness, tapering off a little when it reached his ball sack.

He guided me with cogent language. “Put it in your mouth.”

I kissed the tip, then slid his length between my lips, using as much saliva as I could muster to lube him up. His flesh was warm. A wild, earthy scent lazily hung from his pubic hair; a remnant of a day spent pounding the pavement in hundred-degree heat. I didn’t mind it. In fact, it turned me on. The mild flavor was natural and virile.

“That’s it,”

he continued as I pushed further down his length, increasing the pressure each time I pulled back. “Suck that dick.”

He slid his jeans and underwear down his thighs but didn’t take them off. Not completely. I think he wanted to exert some control, to show me who was in charge by keeping me naked and himself dressed, at least partially.

The palm of his hand landed on the back of my head, his fingers applying gentle pressure to my scalp, easing me down his length. Guiding me. He knew what he liked and he wanted to make sure I brought him the pleasure he desired.

His foreskin pulled further back the harder he grew in my mouth, and eventually, there was only a single wrinkle of flesh resting just beneath the head of his cock, framing it beautifully. My tongue ran circles around it, lightly grazing the crown while trying to draw erotic noises from him. He complied, supplying me with husky moans that kept me going, that provided me with inspiration.

Luis placed his hands on either side of my head and gently forced me down his dick, assisting me with the blowjob I was giving him. The tip hit the back of my throat and he stopped, easing his grip and removing his hands. It was as though he thought he might hurt me, as though he suddenly felt he was coaxing me into doing something I might not want to do.

He wasn’t. I wanted nothing more at that moment. He wasn’t relationship material, after all. This was a hookup, quick and dirty.

But the fact that he showed concern made it easier to comply. It provided me with a sense of comfort, a knowledge that I could squeeze his thigh if I needed to and he would stop everything to make me feel at ease. Maybe we should have agreed to those terms upfront, but something about Luis told me he wasn’t a threat. The second-guesses and the nervous eye shifts and the not always knowing what to say or how to respond told me things about him. That he wasn’t some malicious, domineering character by nature. That, at one point, he’d searched for acceptance like the rest of us.

I took the opportunity to grab the base of his cock, and with a few quick pumps, worked him back into my mouth, licking and sucking every inch of him. He laced his fingers together behind his neck, cradling his head as it rolled backward. With the pull of his arms, his chest stretched wide, and he unwittingly offered himself to me. But I was too focused on the matter at hand to pay too much attention to the way his abs flexed as he pulled, to the way the sunlight spilling through the bedroom window pronounced his muscular definition with shadows dancing. Too focused to notice the way the beads of sweat balancing on his frame made him look like he’d just stepped out of the shower or wrapped up a tough workout at the gym.

The slit of his cock leaked small pearlescent drops of fluid at a steady rate, and I swept my tongue across the head to catch them, to taste them, to swallow them into me. His flavor was sweet and salty and earthy and masculine, and I would have fed from that tap daily if given the opportunity.

It had been weeks since I’d had sex with anyone, days since I’d gotten myself off, and suddenly, I felt ravenous. Like I’d been starved of some necessary life force and had just been given the chance to indulge. Only, I didn’t know how long that opportunity might last, and I didn’t want to waste time.

I guided Luis’s length into my throat and swallowed hard, capturing him in my tightness while I buried my nose in his feral bush. His hands immediately fell to my shoulders and gripped them tightly. Deep moans escaped him as his torso heaved and he bent himself over me, almost as if he were trying to escape my grasp without really wanting to. His body just couldn’t handle the sensations I gave him while milking his cock with my throat muscles.

He was trapped in my embrace as I reached around and gripped his tight cheeks, pulling him into me. They flexed, and my fingers played with the hairs that grew thinner and softer the further out they traveled, coarser and thicker the closer they sprouted to his crevice. I suddenly wanted to taste him there too, but I wasn’t sure what kind of boundaries were in place.

Suddenly, he pulled himself from me, taking a stance. His thick length was covered in saliva, and a strand of it dripped to the floor as he emerged from my mouth. “Can’t,”

he started, his breath stunted. “You’re gonna make me come.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?”

He smiled and gripped me underneath my arms, drawing me up to him, taking my mouth into his, and kissing me deeply as his hands explored my back. I took the opportunity to play with his ass again, something I’d become mildly obsessed with over the course of twenty seconds. It was clear that my fingers playing in his crack made his knees weak and pushed him closer to the edge. Luis panted as I separated his globes and slowly ran a finger down his crevice, but pulled away when I got too close to his opening. I guess I wasn’t going to get to indulge in that forbidden treat. Not just then, anyway.

Instead, he grabbed my sides and spun me around, bending me over the side of the bed. I felt him kicking his jeans off and peeling out of his underwear before dropping to his knees and burying his face in my ass. The feeling of his stubble on my cheeks made me tense at first, but I quickly relaxed into it, my forehead burrowing into the comforter, my hands splayed out across its softness.

I wasn’t as fresh as a morning daisy—neither of us were—but Luis didn’t back away. I was showered and clean, but no amount of scrubbing could compete with a day in the sun, a day walking up and down New York City sidewalks in the intense heat. Luis reveled in my earthy spice, however. At first, he simply nipped at my furry cheeks and kissed his way down my crack. But then he dove in and furiously licked at my hole, making me clench and tighten in surprise, then flex and open for him as I found comfort in the way he explored my entrance.

Soon, I’d feel him enter me, spread me, stretch me beyond belief with his cock as he held my back in place for his welcome arrival.

But not yet. Not until he apparently savored me and tasted every flavor I had to offer. Not until he dug into me with his tongue and traversed every knot and ridge. Not until he explored me, dragging himself from my balls, up my taint, and nosing at my bud, drawing my essence into him. Luis seemed to linger there for minutes on end, testing me, teasing me, pressuring me to open for him. He seemed to have a thing for the rawness of a man, for the naturalness of the male body.

I flinched and moaned and cried out as he rimmed me, as he repeatedly dipped into my opening, then pulled out and planted kisses on me. And with each brush of his tongue across my opening, with each crush of him into me, my flesh ignited and I begged him to fuck me.

Once he was satisfied with his handiwork, once I’d given up control and begged for his cock, he gathered himself behind me. I felt him pull to his feet, place his hands on my waist, and draw me to a kneeling position, kneeing the back of my legs and pushing me to rearrange myself on the bed. He wanted my head resting on the pillow and my legs spread out behind me, supine on my stomach.

Luis positioned himself behind me, then took a moment to cover me with his frame, to turn my head toward his with his fingers and kiss me deeply from behind. That kiss wasn’t just so I could taste myself on his lips—which I did, and savored. It was meant to convey feeling. To convey an emotion of appreciation, of mutual admiration and trust, of knowledge and understanding of what we were about to engage in, of the action he was about to take. Of exactly what he was about to impart on me.

After he kissed my mouth, he kissed my chin, then my shoulder. He then crawled down my back and fell between my legs again. I dropped my head to the pillow and raised my hips slightly off the bed, assuming a position that would make his entrance easier on the both of us. Words weren’t spoken. Luis simply kissed my hole, his tongue leaving a trail of saliva between the two of us as he pulled away.

Finally, like a mirage in the desert, a gentle breeze blew through the window and tickled my beaded flesh. It was as though I’d never felt the wind before, never experienced a breath of fresh air. I only hoped the breezes would keep coming, that they would be the start of a trend. Of milder temperatures and midsummer breezes sailing over me while I slept naked at night, stretched out under a cool bedsheet. At the very least, I hoped for more bearable days in the high eighties rather than the high nineties, let alone a hundred fucking degrees pounding down on top of the city.

Luis’s weight felt good on top of me, even in this heat wave. His presence was comfortable. His heat was a nice change of pace. A different kind of heat, one that was altogether welcomed.

The tip of his cock pressed against my opening, and I closed my eyes while pushing out around him. He held the base of his length in one hand and my waist in the other, holding me steady as his hairy thighs rubbed against mine. We were both warm and slicked with sweat, the motionless ceiling fan above us doing nothing for anyone. I prayed for another breeze.

But thoughts of anything other than Luis’s cock when it penetrated my opening and slid a few inches inside of me were gone with that fucking breeze. I gasped and croaked at the sensation of searing pain that shot through me. I clawed at the comforter, twisting my fingers into the fabric.

But I wanted it. So badly.

Luis paused and I breathed, and as I caught my breath and relaxed into him, he continued easing himself into me, slowly and gently. By the time I felt his pubic hair brush against my ass, I knew he’d buried himself in me completely, and I silently begged for him to never leave me. His cock felt so good inside of me. So perfect. So natural. A sense of completeness washed over me as I adjusted to how full I felt; incredibly stretched and exposed in the grip of a stranger, but perfectly comfortable under his weight.

Luis scooped his arms underneath my chest and pulled my body up to meet his. My back, tight and moderately defined, faint lines running courses around natural pockets of muscle, leaned into his chest. His lips fell to my shoulder, then my neck, as he began to move his hips, pulling himself slightly out of me before pushing back in, finding his rhythm.

Every movement seemed intentional, every warm breath on the back of my neck and every bead of sweat crashing into my skin from his frame seemed almost planned to accentuate the experience. He knew how to fuck.

Luis was forceful in bed in the best kind of way. I didn’t have to make any decisions. At work, I was constantly deciding upon this or that, never knowing whether I was making the right choice… for the company, for my team, for the future of my job. In bed was the last place I wanted that kind of responsibility. Luis made that easy.

Maybe he felt the opposite about his work. Perhaps he had to play by the book and wasn’t afforded the opportunity to make any decisions on his own. At a garage, I imagined there wouldn’t be too many choices one could be faced with. This part goes there and that piece of equipment is tested in this way. It seemed pretty black-and-white. Maybe in the bedroom, he was able to choose what he wanted to do and how he wanted it done. Perhaps sex was where he found a sense of freedom.

My dick was as hard as a steel flag pole while he fucked himself into me over and over. It stood at attention, pointing to the sky as it sprouted endless beads of precome that dripped down my shaft like oil droplets from one of those decorative old rain lamps. Luis would occasionally pull his hand from my chest and swipe a finger across the slit, scooping up the sticky fluid, either to feed me or to enjoy himself.

I tried not to touch myself out of fear that I might explode too early. Every touch of Luis’s hand on my cock made me feel like I might come, so I couldn’t risk forcing it myself. But if Luis’s heavy grunts and deep moans were any indication, he wasn’t going to last very long either. Maybe it was the heat getting to us. Or maybe, just maybe, we really enjoyed being with one another.

As his orgasm approached from deep within, he released my body from his grip and focused that grip on my waist, holding me in place as he rocked himself into me, then out, then in, then out, over and over again.

I dropped my chest to the comforter and grabbed my dick. If he was going to come, I figured I might as well indulge too.

My back was slick with sweat as Luis deep-dicked me, pulling me down to the base of his cock and using my ass to get himself off. He slowly rubbed a hand up and down my back as he fucked me. I squeezed myself around him, hoping to add to his pleasure, to my own pleasure. I wanted him to come just as much as I’m sure he wanted to. We were using each other to get off. That was it. And I was fine with it.

He must have felt the change in pressure on his cock. He gripped my hips tightly and slammed into me a few times. I was ready to explode, so I held the base of my cock tightly, trying desperately to keep my ejaculate at bay, waiting for Luis’s cue.

It didn’t take long. “Oh… fuck… gonna… come,”

he panted, his words dotting his thrusts as he pulled out of me. A forceful jet of hot fluid rocketed against my warm flesh, bulleting my ass cheek hard before quickly dribbling into my crevice and down between my legs.

My comforter would be a mess, but then, it was going to be a mess anyway as soon as I let go of my cock and allowed my orgasm to proceed. It could probably stand a wash anyway.

I was deviously ecstatic about making Luis come, but I didn’t want his load to be wasted on my comforter. At that moment, I wanted him to be a part of me. Wanted to feel him inside of me. I wanted him to take me, to claim me, to conquer me. So, I pushed my ass backward, against him, and he found his way back into me, releasing the rest of his load deep inside me.

With Luis’s throbbing dick twitching in my hole, filling my insides with his warmth, my firmness had no choice but to erupt. A shock wave worked its way through my body, shooting tingling sensations up and down my arms and through my core. Those sensations expelled themselves through the tip of my cock, hitting every nerve ending on the way out. I shuddered and spasmed as I came, and Luis did the same behind me, his body tightening and flexing against mine as he unloaded himself into me. His hands gripped my waist tightly and my fingers dug into the comforter, until eventually, our bodies had expelled everything they’d needed to expel amidst of fury of erotic declarations.

I collapsed onto my bed and Luis followed suit, crashing down beside me, running his hand up and down my back one last time before dipping his finger into the crack of my ass to admire his work. I smiled at his touch. He smiled at my smile.

We lay there for a moment, panting and recovering, lost in a hazy bliss of sexual release. And after that moment, an uninvited wave of awkwardness suddenly crashed over us, interrupting the blissful glow that had taken hold for that brief moment. Neither of us knew what to say to the other, if anything at all. Did words need to be spoken? Or did clothes simply need to be pulled back on before we implied our goodbyes at my front door?

Sweat beaded on Luis’s brow. My pillow was damp. His chest and arms were shiny and slick, as were mine.

But then, out of nowhere, like a sign from above, the lights flickered on and the unmistakable clink and rumble of the air conditioner kicking on could be heard in my living room. It was like the heavens opened, but neither of us bothered to get up. Some semblance of comfort had found us.

Cheers and applause from the street below erupted and echoed through the windows. The entire neighborhood must have been back on. Tonight’s unsanctioned, unpermitted block party would probably be the biggest yet. Once everyone had a chance to cool off and recharge, anyway.

“I guess I should get going,”

Luis said, a quiver of something resembling expectation or hope binding his words.

I knew how these things went. He wasn’t supposed to stay and I wasn’t supposed to want him to. But I did.

“You can stay,”

I fumbled. “To cool off for a minute. If you want.”

Awkward. I somehow made an awkward moment even more awkward. But he smiled, awkwardly.

I rolled over onto my back and we lay beside each other, our breathing patterns finding a normal rhythm. Neither of us said a word. We just breathed and listened to the people outside chatter about this and that. Most of what they spoke about was muffled, but now and then, someone would raise their voice. Then, a bus pushed down Tenth Avenue, expelling exhaust and traffic noise.

“Maybe I’ll just go grab a slice or somethin’,”

he started, lifting himself from the bed, trying to find his clothes on the floor, fumbling around while attempting to pull his jeans up and step into his boots. “You hungry?”

Was I? Not really. But he’d invited me to do something. That was against the rules for a hookup. I didn’t understand the feelings I was having, the wavering back and forth about something so innocent, so trivial. I wanted him but I didn’t want to want him. I wanted to play by the rules of casual sex but I wanted to buck the trend at the same time. My mind was playing tricks on me. “Nah. I’m alright.”

“Cool.”

Was it? Maybe it wasn’t. Why was I suddenly questioning every decision I’d ever made?

The word cool had been shrouded in subtle disappointment, a sort of defeat falling from his lips. I stood from the bed and followed Luis into the living room, grabbing a handful of my clothes from the kitchen floor on the way. We stood facing each other in front of the air conditioner blast for a few fractured moments, unsure of what to say.

“Alright. Maybe I’ll see you around, then?”

“Yeah,”

I answered. “Maybe.”

God, why did every word I was saying sound so noncommittal? So rude? I hated when people did that shit to me.

“Cool.”

There it was again. That letdown I wasn’t sure how to address, to counteract. Luis turned, taking a step toward the door, then swiveled and paused before approaching me. He pressed his lips against mine. It was a gentle sort of kiss, one that was simultaneously depleted and hopeful. A final goodbye. A goodbye that said thanks… even though I’ll probably never see you again… even though I really want to .

When his lips parted from mine, my lips smiled a shy grin. I didn’t want to give my hand away but a sparkler had been ignited in my stomach. Trembling heat worked its way up my frame, blushing my cheeks when it finally found my face. I was all nervous energy, swirling and singing.

Luis grabbed my briefs from the wad of clothing in my hand and held them up with one finger. A name brand traced its way around the white waistband in navy blue. The seams were damp with sweat, and a one-inch-long hole had been ripped just under the elastic band on the side. It must have happened when Luis was tearing them off my frame.

I laughed as I tossed the rest of my clothes onto the couch. “I should probably throw those away.”

Luis used them to wipe the sweat from his forehead and under his arms. He then pulled me close and kissed me again, with more force and desperation than the last time. Intensity radiated from his full lips, his magic finding its way to me. When he finally pulled away, he brought my briefs to his face and inhaled. “Maybe I’ll hang on to ’em. That way, I’ll have something to remember you by. A piece of you—to get me off later.”

It was a joke, but it made my dick twitch with arousal, and I wondered to myself how much truth traced the edges of that joke. I’d heard that half of what people say when they’re joking is actually true—that sometimes people joke about things they’re too nervous to talk about. I was certainly guilty of that. I licked my lips. “You have your phone?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Put this number in.”

He pulled his phone from the pocket of his jeans and I proceeded to give him my number.

“That’s something better to remember me by. But you can keep those anyway.”

I nodded toward my briefs now clenched in his fist.

A wide smile drew across his face, coloring his expression with subdued excitement, a sort of joy that wasn’t meant to be seen by anyone. The sort that people kept bottled up inside for fear of embarrassing themselves. For fear of showing their true colors.

“Cool.”

The word was drenched in hope that time, swimming in incitement. It was delivered with the sort of carefree exhilaration captured by the first warm day of spring, or the anticipation of the first drop on a roller coaster, or diving into a lake on a hot day, not knowing whether the water will be frigid or not, laughing all the way.

“And next time,”

he continued, the confidence returning to his voice, “maybe you’ll fuck me silly.”

“You bottom?”

“I’m versatile… for the right person. You?”

“For the right person.”

Luis grinned, and I laughed through my smile. He leaned in and kissed me again, a kiss that was almost as sweet as our fuck had been desperate. His free hand gently brushed the back of my neck, causing the hair to stand on end. My thumb looped into the back of his jeans, tickling the hairs in the cleft of his ass, which made him giggle into our kiss. I found myself not only enthralled but proud that I could draw such a playful reaction from him.

“I’ll text you,”

he confirmed as he exited my front door and stumbled down the hallway to the stairwell. He turned to get another look at me leaning naked against my doorframe while he shoved my briefs into his back pocket.

“You better.”

I couldn’t wait.