Chapter Twenty-Two

~ Vic ~

T he things that Vic's family said within five minutes of saying they were dating was the exact thing Vic worried about. His immediate family had an opinion and none of them seemed all that supportive.

Tawson was a professor.

You're too young.

He's too old.

Manipulating.

That last word had hurt the most. There had been no manipulation. Everything they'd done was consensual. They talked. Communicated. Vic respected Tawson's boundaries as much as Tawson did Vic's.

Tawson dropped their hand and got in his car without a word. Vic ignored their parents and everyone else to watch him drive away. Vic wanted, needed, to be with him. He was hurting and Vic had a feeling that he'd already gone through a panic attack. Or was on the verge of one. There was only one thing that caused him to have those too. He mentioned seeing his ex .

"Shut up!" Vic yelled. They turned back to their family. All of them, family and not, were standing on the grass now. "How can you say all of that seeing him how he was? I know at least half of you know his story. He just saw his ex. He's hurting and he needs someone with him. I'm going up there."

"No." Their dad said. He stepped forward, like he was going to physically stop Vic.

"Honey, he's your teacher," their mom said.

"He's not," Vic said quickly. "I'll never take his class and we've already looked into it. It's not illegal, it's not against the code of ethics."

"You're young, sweetie," she tried again.

Vic looked at the others. Their eyes landed on Wright. "You didn't seem to have a problem with age when Wright showed up. He and Xander are way more open about their relationship and their ages are further apart. I don't even know why I'm explaining this to you. I love him. And I'm a consenting adult."

"Consenting or not," their dad said once again. Vic was feeling cornered. Trapped. They didn't know what else to say. This wasn't how their family handled things. Even William and the other guys looked a bit lost for words. "You're my son and I don't think-"

"Can you stop saying that? Please!" Vic took a step toward their car.

"Stop saying what?" That was Paxton. "Victor, what's going on?"

Vic really felt trapped now. Or maybe it was the ball of anxiety in their stomach. Why couldn't they just accept it? Wright and Xander were supported. Zaya and Paxton, no blink of the eye. Vic knew they'd have to explain when they finally made it public, but this was going all kinds of sideways. His family had questions, of course, but being torn between wanting to explain everything and needing to be with Tawson was not helping. Tawson was winning out, no doubt. So, to the shock of everyone standing before them, Vic finally spoke up.

"I'm nonbinary," Vic said. "I don't like the name Victor. I've been going by Vic at school since the beginning of the semester. Tawson helped me figure that out about myself. He helped me accept myself and finally stop hiding that part of me." The words were coming in earnest now. Everything they wanted to say for months spilling out in hopefully coherent sentences. "I don't expect you all to understand. But I do need you to respect that I can make my own choices. And right now, I'm going to go make sure that my partner is okay."

Vic left everyone standing on the grass. Vic caught their eyes, maneuvering their car around the others to get out. It took almost two minutes to guide the car around and up the driveway. It didn't hit them until they pulled in next to Tawson's car that they'd done it. They came out to their family.

In the absolute last way they thought it would come out. And the fears Vic had were reality now. They didn't get it. Yes, their relationship wasn't the most normal. But they were both adults and they loved each other. A genuine, emotional love. Vic wasn't sure how they felt about the nonbinary aspect since they dropped that bomb and ran, but they were sure to find out later.

Vic took their keys out of the car and found the one for Tawson's house. The first thing they registered was the sound of crying. Their eyes caught up and saw that the place was a mess. There were clothes strewn everywhere, a dresser drawer laying upside down on the floor. The lamp from the bedside laid broken in the kitchen .

"Tawson? Where are you?"

A thump came from the bathroom and then a scream. A painful, frustrated scream. One that said there was nowhere else for the feelings to go. Vic's heart was breaking as they locked the door and headed toward the bathroom.

"Tawson? I'm coming in."

The shower was on but Tawson sat on the toilet. He didn't have his shirt on and the house was chilly. Tawson's body was shaking. Vic reacted immediately. They sank to the floor between Tawson's knees and grabbed his hands. "Hey, baby. Tawson. Look at me. Please."

"I'm sorry." His voice was low. He repeated the words twice more. "I wasn't thinking. I should have just texted you. Or dealt with it myself."

"Hey, no. I'm always going to be here for you. I love you. That means that I'll walk through hell and fire for you." What it cheesy to say? Yes. Did it get Tawson to finally open his eyes and look at Vic? Also yes.

The steam was warming the small room and Vic stood up. They stripped out of their own clothes first before helping Tawson pull his off. They didn't do anything in the shower but stand there, hugging. Vic could feel the adrenaline from the last fifteen minutes wearing off. They'd come out to their family and then some.

They clung to Tawson a little bit tighter, the words from their mom and dad repeating. They didn't approve. How they couldn't approve of someone that Vic loved, that made them feel safe and cared for, Vic wasn't sure. Eventually the water started to turn cold. Tawson sighed in their ear and turned to cut the water off.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Tawson said. "I feel stupid for the way I reacted."

"That's just the exhaustion talking," Vic said. "You reacted how you needed to. How your body told you to."

Vic took a towel and dried both of them off before they got into the bed. They cuddled close, no space between their chests pressed together. Vic trailed kisses over Tawson's chest while Tawson rubbed small circles with his thumb on their back.

Just being with each other seemed to relieve the remainder of the tension. Vic wouldn't push for all the details. They could lay in the bed all night, fall asleep, without talking. Tawson would tell in his own time or not at all. Vic respected that.

They did end up falling asleep. It was only eight o'clock, but both of them were too tired. Emotions were still running in their heads.

"Tomorrow will be better," Vic commented before adjusting his position next to Tawson.

Both fell asleep pretty quick after that.

But they didn't stay asleep.

Whether it was themselves or Tawson, one of them had shifted in their sleep and Tawson was the one curled up into Vic's side. Tawson was clinging to Vic, holding them close like they were going to disappear in his sleep.

Everything was dark out. They usually kept the lamp on, but that was broken. Vic imagined Tawson alone, trying to fight the panic attack. It hurt Vic to know that he'd been alone for any point of time. He'd come home from campus to Vic.

Not to be alone. But to hold Vic. Confide in them. To say he loved Vic.

Vic kissed the top of Tawson's head that was resting on their chest. Their mind was racing too much to sleep. They weren't sure what time it was, but they did have to get the horses in the morning.

Vic thought about the things that were said. The things their family said about the two of them together. It was everything Vic was scared of them saying. Vic tried to rationalize with himself that everyone would be confused. Vic wasn't known for dating, never shared that they were part of the LGBTQ+ community. They never shared their real feelings toward themselves. Vic was known as the quiet one, the reserved one. A secret relationship would have questions.

Tawson stirred in his sleep a few times, but he didn't open his eyes until hours later.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Vic kissed the top of his head once more and then his forehead, nose, lips. "Feeling any better?"

"A little," Tawson answered honestly. "Thank you for coming up here."

"Of course I was going to come back to you, Tawson. I want you to know that." Vic stared at the ceiling. Their eyes were straining to see anything. "I'm sorry about my family. I'm sure we'll be sitting down to talk today. Do you know what time it is?"

Tawson moved once again and grabbed his phone from the bedside table. "It's just after three. We slept for a while."

"I think we both needed it," Vic said. "I'll have to head out in a bit but I'll be back. I promise."

Tawson's lips found Vic's temple and he kissed the spot gently. It was a barely-there brush of lips. "I meant it when I said it," Tawson whispered. "I love you, Vic. Like, a lot. It was all I could think about yesterday. Just get home and get to Vic."

"I love you too," Vic said. "I meant it as well."

"I'm sorry if I'm causing issues with your family," he said. " I can talk to them."

"No, no. You have enough to deal with right now. I can handle my family." Vic congratulated himself for sounding surer than they felt. "I'll let you know how it goes, though. But let's get some more sleep. Can you set your alarm for five-thirty? I guess that's one perk of the cat being out of the bag. I can sleep in longer."

Tawson chuckled but did as Vic asked. Once they were settled again, Vic's back to Tawson's front in a spooning position, Vic laced their fingers together and lifted his hand to kiss his knuckles. They fell asleep again.

Two hours later, Vic was sitting on the top porch step pulling on their boots to start mucking out the stalls. Their mom got them a pair after they'd ruined a pair of new shoes when they were younger. The front door creaked open and Vic looked over their shoulder. It was Paxton. She was wearing her hair in a loose braid, jeans and a tee rounding out a relaxed look.

"I thought dad was helping this morning," Vic said. They tried to hide the bitterness in their voice.

"I asked him to switch with me," Paxton said. "Vict-"

"Just Vic, please."

"Vic, why didn't you tell any of us how you identified? How long have you felt like this?"

"It's been a couple years," Vic answered. They walked across the gravel, weaving between their cars, to the barn. "I always liked different things than the other guys close to my age in high school. Different things than most everyone in the family. I love the ranch, don't get me wrong, and the animals. I don't mind the work. I just- It wasn't until meeting Tawson that I finally felt safe and comfortable enough to tell someone else about it. He's helped me so much. I do love him. He's smart and funny and kind and just amazing."

Paxton reached out a hand and laid it on Vic's shoulder. The horses were starting to stir since they opened the door and flipped on the switch. "I love you, Vic. I love you no matter what. I think the whole thing just caught us off guard and I'm truly sorry for what I said. If I hurt you, or Tawson, in any way. You're my little broth- Sibling?" She shook her head, like she knew trying to guess the word was not coming out right. "You're family. Plain and simple. And as long as you're happy, I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." Vic could feel the tears burning behind their eyes. "Now, let's get to work because I left Tawson sleeping in bed. I'd rather him not be alone right now."

"Let's get to it."

And just like that, Paxton was okay with it. Vic hoped that it would be that way with their parents. Maybe Paxton could be a mediator. By the time they locked the last horse into the stall, the sun was slowly chasing away the shadows. Both of their parents were sitting on the porch. Paxton laid a hand on Vic's shoulder.

"It's okay. I'm right here. I think it'll be good for all of us to talk this out."