Chapter 37

37

" T here," I say, clicking the mouse a final time before leaning back on the couch and glancing up at Lo over my shoulder. "That'll leave them scrambling for a while."

"How many days do you think it'll buy us?" Avery asks eagerly, peering past her friend to get a look at the screen of the laptop resting on my thighs.

"At least a few," I reply, shrugging.

Honestly, I'll bet it'll take The Guild at least a week to get their shit sorted out now that I've disabled the dark web message boards, crippled their internal email server, and corrupted the security system, but I don't want to be too optimistic here just in case they somehow manage to pull an ace out of their sleeve. Which is why I also drained their financials so they can't pay for outside help, moving all The Guild's funds to offshore banks that I set up backup accounts with years ago. They'll know it was me- nobody else would have the knowledge or access to pull off such a thorough cyberattack on every one of their systems- but they won't be able to make a move to retaliate until they're able to put some of the pieces back together.

I'm just glad Avery was able to convince the others to let me help out. Madd didn't seem too pleased about it, but after reading me the riot act and threatening death and dismemberment if I screwed them over, he begrudgingly agreed. As long as I had supervision, of course, which is why Lo has been hovering over my shoulder for the last hour and a half, watching my every move.

"Do you think your man on the inside will respond?" she asks, rocking back on a hip and folding her arms across her chest.

"Hope so," I murmur.

It's a risky move to leave behind a message in the scrambled code, but I'm hoping it pays off- because once he realizes their systems are down, I know exactly who my father will turn to for help.

After me, Tim Gibson was our next best IT guy, but he was taken out in the full moon massacre. Matty's the only other soldier with any IT acumen, and I bragged to my dad about the kid's skills after he made improvements to our surveillance program. It's a safe bet that he'll ask Matty to help fix what I've broken, which is why I left him an encrypted message hidden in the code of the very surveillance program he recently updated.

Now I just have to hope his hesitation to take a shot at me out in the forest yesterday actually meant something. If he's willing to work with us, it could change the tide of this entire conflict.

"So that's it, then?" Avery asks, swinging her gaze between Lo and me.

I nod, reaching forward to snap the lid of the laptop closed. "Now we wait," I sigh, rolling my neck on my shoulders to work out the tension that's built up from hunching over.

"We'll give it forty-eight hours," Lo says, reaching a hand over the back of the couch and wiggling her fingers in a ‘ gimme' gesture. "If we don't hear from Cam's guy by then, we'll move forward with our counter-attack as planned."

I lift the computer from my lap, passing it back to her. "And with their surveillance down, they won't see you coming," I add.

Lo nods, slipping the laptop into the messenger bag at her hip and adjusting the strap on her shoulder. "Alright, I'd better get going," she sighs, pivoting toward Avery. "I promised Javi we could have a lunch date, he thinks I work too much. I'll come by again tomorrow morning and we can check to see if he responded."

"Sounds like a plan!" Avery chirps, walking her friend to the door. "Give that handsome man of yours a kiss for me, huh?"

Lo whips her head sideways to pin Avery with a glare. "You wanna get your ass beat?" she asks, cocking a brow.

My beastie runs her tongue along her upper teeth, grinning like a cat. "I'd like to see you try, Lolo."

Lo huffs out an annoyed breath, rolling her eyes as she swats Avery away and reaches for the door handle. "Cam, feel free to kidnap her again," she calls out to me as she pulls it open, sticking her tongue out at Avery and making a face before stepping outside.

Guess we've moved on from the kidnapping thing enough to joke about it now?

"Love you too, Lo!" Avery calls after her, laughing as she throws up a hand to give her a teasing wave.

I shake my head, chuckling to myself as I watch Avery push the door closed behind her friend and pivot in my direction. She still has that mischievous glint in her eye as she wanders back toward me, and my dick stirs at the prospect of what could be on her devious mind.

"So, I heard River gave you some wolf training yesterday," she comments, coming around to my side of the sofa and stopping in front of me, stepping between my spread knees .

I fold my arms behind my head and lean back against the cushions, narrowing my eyes as I look up at her. "Yeah, that a problem?"

"No," she replies sweetly, bending forward and planting her palms on my thighs to put us at eye level with one another. My pulse immediately kicks up a notch, the beast inside me perking up. "But why learn from her when you can learn from someone more... experienced? "

I lean in closer, arching a skeptical brow. "You offering?"

Our faces are inches apart, but as much as I want her to, she doesn't close the distance between our lips. Instead, hers curve into a grin as she pushes off from my thighs, straightening and flipping her long hair over a shoulder. "I mean, it's only fair. Since you saved our asses and all." She tosses me a saucy wink as she steps backwards, crooking a finger. "Let's go, big man."

Well shit, even if it's not the suggestion I initially hoped for, I'm not about to turn down an offer like that. River tried her best, but the lessons yesterday went nowhere. She was bored within ten minutes and asked me to school her on hand-to-hand combat instead. Since I'm a shifter, I need to learn more about actually shifting , and there's nobody I'd rather take lessons from than my beastie.

Her blonde hair fans out behind her as she spins on a heel, strutting toward the back doors of the packhouse. I ease off the couch to follow while shamelessly staring at her ass the whole way. The shorts she's wearing are practically painted on, and I have to actively force myself to look away and get my head in the game as we step outside and start across the lawn.

Rather than hanging out close to the packhouse like River and I did yesterday, Avery continues toward the back of the property, bound for the mouth of a trail at the treeline. As we start down it, I quickly realize that coming out here barefoot was a bad idea. The twigs and rocks littering the forest floor cut into the soles of my feet with every step. She's not wearing shoes, either, but the rough terrain doesn't seem to bother her one bit.

"Where are we going?" I ask, fighting back a wince of discomfort as a rock pokes into the arch of my foot.

"Wolves like being out in nature," she quips, her steps never faltering as she continues down the path. "If you're having trouble calling your wolf forward, then maybe it'll help to change up the setting and make him more comfortable."

"Makes sense," I grit out, eyes trained down on the trail in front of me to watch where I step. "How much further?"

"Don't tell me you're getting winded already," Avery teases, glancing back at me over her shoulder.

"Nah, but if I knew we were going on a hike, I would've at least put on shoes," I grumble.

She snorts a laugh. "That's such a human thing to say."

"So now you're trying to tell me shifters are against shoes?"

Avery darts me another smug backwards glance, rolling her eyes. "No, we're just used to going without them, I guess. Can't take ‘em with you when you shift. Trust me, I love my shoes. The higher the heel, the better. Boots, too. I may not seem like it, but I'm a girly girl deep down."

"The bright pink nail polish is kind of a giveaway," I grumble.

The trees lining the path start opening up in front of us, and moments later we're stepping into a clearing, Avery veering off the path and turning to face me. "I guess this is far enough, since you're being a baby about it," she sighs.

"I'm not…"

She holds up a hand, cutting me off. "You totally are, but don't worry, we'll work on toughening you up." She winks, lips curling in a smirk. "Alright, you ready to get into it?"

As soon as I nod in agreement, Avery lifts the hem of her shirt and strips it off over her head.

"Whoa, what…? "

"Calm down, perv," she laughs, tossing her shirt aside. "I'm gonna shift so I can guide you through it."

"Oh." I rake a hand through my hair, averting my gaze, but then she starts pulling off her sports bra and I can't help but look her way again, just in time for her full tits to bounce out. Her rosy nipples pucker into hard points as they hit the air, and my cock immediately thickens in my shorts. Fuck.

The rational part of my brain knows that this is just a means to an end; it's all part of shifting. She's told me before that shifters don't give nudity a second thought since it's part and parcel of their lifestyle. I wasn't raised among shifters, though, and right now, it feels like I've got a front row seat to my own personal strip show as Avery shimmies her shorts and panties down her hips, stepping out of them. My eyes zero in on the apex of her thighs, my mouth watering for a taste.

Head in the game, Cam.

I suck in a breath, gaze slowly climbing up to meet hers, and the smirk on her face says that she knows exactly what she's doing to me right now. Not to mention that the bulge in my shorts is a pretty good indication.

"Alright, so the first thing you'll wanna do is take those clothes off, because otherwise you'll rip right through them," she says, casually gesturing my way.

"If you wanna see my dick, just say so," I drawl, the corner of my mouth lifting.

She rolls her eyes, planting her hands on her hips as she turns away, and I chuckle to myself as I strip down, tossing my shirt aside and stepping out of my shorts. But when I look her way again, I see that she's just as much of a perv as I am, because she's staring right at my rock-hard cock.

Her throat bobs with a swallow as her gaze flickers back up to mine. "Okay, so now you need to reach for your wolf in your mind," she says dryly, returning to the task at hand despite her obvious distraction. "Focus on your wolf and see if you can call him forward. "

I nod, refocusing and attempting to follow her direction, but it's easier said than done. I have no idea how to consciously connect with my inner beast; he just seems to pop up at the most inconvenient of times.

Avery's eyes slip closed and the air around her starts shimmering, followed by the distinctive pop and snap of her bones rearranging. Within seconds, she's fully transformed into a sleek silver wolf, sitting back on her haunches and staring at me expectantly with those familiar whiskey-brown eyes.

For as much as I was struggling to connect with my inner beast, that fucker sure as shit makes himself known as soon as Avery's wolf appears. My skin immediately starts itching and burning, skull pounding in agony like it's two seconds from exploding.

"Fuck, fuck, stop," I grit out, doubling over and clawing at my head.

The air shimmers again as Avery shifts back to her human form, straightening to her full height and advancing toward me. "You need to stop fighting it."

"I'm not fighting it," I snarl, panting to catch my breath as I lift my head to peer up at her.

"You're totally fighting it," she scoffs, resting a hand on her hip.

I straighten with a scowl, cutting a glare in her direction, and she shakes her head with a frustrated sigh.

"Okay, let's try another approach," she suggests, rocking back on a heel and folding her arms across her chest. "What does it feel like when your wolf wants out? Talk me through it."

"It just fucking hurts," I mutter.

"That's because you're not giving yourself over to him!" she exclaims, throwing up her hands. "If you resist the change, then it's gonna hurt like a bitch every time."

I glower at her, forcing myself to bite my tongue. Because she's got a lot more experience with this than I do, and arguing about it isn't going to get us anywhere.

Avery stares back at me for a long moment, then blows out a slow breath, her posture deflating. "Look, Cam, I know this is all new to you," she says, gazing at me earnestly. "And I'm sorry that I'm not a better teacher. Shifting is second nature to me now, so it's tough to explain the process to someone else. Let's just talk through it, tell me what's tripping you up."

"I don't even know," I grumble, scrubbing my hands over my face. "Maybe it'd help if you explained exactly how you do it?"

She purses her lips, nodding. "Okay, yeah. So… sometimes my wolf's close to the surface, and when I feel her start pressing forward, I can either push her back or let her out. And when I do that, it's almost like letting her through a door, consciously taking a step back so she can get in the driver's seat."

I nod slowly.

"And when she's not close to the surface, I focus on what it feels like when she is , and then I use that feeling to reach for her in my mind. So, let's try this…" she steps closer to me, taking my hands. "Close your eyes."

I do.

"Focus on that little kernel of wild in your brain and see if you can draw it out."

I draw a deep breath as I try to do as she instructs, but each time I try to reach for that flicker of my inner beast, it slips away.

"It's not working," I huff.

"Something must still be blocking you," she replies calmly. "Try thinking of it like… imagine that your wolf's behind a wall, or in a box…."

"How about a cage?" I murmur.

"Yes!" she exclaims, squeezing my hands in her grip excitedly. "Okay, a cage. Picture exactly what that cage looks like, then imagine walking up to the door and turning the key in the lock."

In my mind's eye, the cage starts to take shape; a square box with thick, rusted bars. A snarling black wolf is locked inside, panting and thrashing at the steel enclosure. Just as it fully comes into focus, though, a sharp pain lances through my skull and the image slips away.

"Damnit," I groan, shaking my head in frustration.

"It's okay," Avery says gently as I blink my eyes open. "It felt like you got closer that time, my own wolf perked up."

"Yeah?" I breathe.

She nods, smiling in encouragement. "Now that you've got the basic idea, let's try it a different way. Your wolf seems to respond when mine's out, so I'm gonna shift again, and as soon as I do, unlock that cage door."

My head bobs up and down eagerly as Avery takes a step back, her hands slipping from mine.

Once again, her shift is effortless. The air around her shimmers like diamonds, bones popping, body rearranging. The second it clears and I meet her wolf's eyes, pain explodes in my skull.

I grit my teeth and fight through it this time. I clutch my head as I picture the cage. I bellow a roar as I turn the key. My skin burns and fur starts to sprout, the snap of my bones taking me to my knees. Even though it's excruciating, I wrap my hands around the bars of the cage in my mind and yank the door open, succumbing to the beast within.

The pain ebbs away as quickly as it began, and I look down at my big black paws through my wolf's eyes, blinking in stunned surprise.

Holy shit. I actually did it.

As I lift my head, Avery's wolf pounces on mine gleefully, knocking me to the ground and licking my face. I paw at her, and we tussle in the dirt for a few moments before bounding to our feet and jogging around the perimeter of the clearing, my movements fluid and my mind shockingly clear.

Last time I shifted, I felt like a spectator in my own brain. This time, though, it's like I'm in the passenger seat of the car rather than just watching it speed by from the roadside, and I finally understand what Avery meant when she said that me and my wolf are one and the same. Right now, he doesn't feel like a separate entity, lurking in the shadows of my consciousness. I'm the beast, and the beast is me.

Since I'm not panicking and getting shot at this time around, I can actually enjoy embodying my wolf. I can appreciate the way the breeze feels as it ruffles my fur; the warmth of the earth beneath my paws. That wild, free feeling soaring through every molecule of my being.

After trotting around for a few more minutes, Avery shifts back into her human form, and that's when I realize she left a key part out of her lesson: how the hell to change back. I sit back on my haunches, a whine slipping from my throat.

"You don't know how to shift back," Avery muses, as if it just occurred to her. She strides in my direction, coming to a stop in front of me and crouching down so we're at eye level. Her fingers sink into the thick fur of my neck, the tip of her nose grazing mine as she leans forward to stare into my eyes. "Focus on what it feels like to be human," she instructs. "How it feels to inhabit your body, how it moves. How our bodies move together. Put your wolf back in his cage, but don't lock the door this time."

I draw a breath, focusing my mind exactly how she tells me to, and slowly, I feel the beast start to pull back. Of course, that's also when the pain starts. I grit my teeth as my bones begin to snap, my growl turning to a groan as thick black fur recedes into my burning skin. I squeeze my eyes closed, and when I open them, I'm crouching on the ground, panting to catch my breath...

"You did it!" Avery exclaims, launching herself toward me as I push up to stand. She flings her arms around my neck with a squeal, leaping into mine and wrapping her legs around my waist. I laugh as I spin her around, then the realization that we're butt-ass naked seems to hit us both at once and we jolt apart, quietly regaining our composure.

Avery combs her hair back with her fingers, a faint blush painting her cheeks. "How did it feel to finally shift?" she asks.

"Still fucking hurt," I growl.

She rolls her eyes, cocking out a hip. "But less than last time, right?"

I shrug a shoulder. "I guess."

"The more you shift, the easier it'll be," she quips, a victorious grin stretching her lips. "So c'mon, let's go again."

"Do we have to?" I groan, dragging my hands down my face.

"Yes," she deadpans. "You're a shifter now, Cameron Knox, and it's about time you owned that. Now c'mon, try to do it without me this time."

"Okay," I sigh, closing my eyes again and picturing the cage.

Here goes nothing.