3

Julian showed up about five minutes later with his Faerie Guardian detail and the first round of dumplings were already being brought out. Because that was the specialty of this place. All kinds of dumplings and not just Chinese.

Yes. Please.

"Hi, my sweet mate," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed my cheek. "For the record, Hudson already figured out what he did wrong, so clearly you're not being petty."

I felt worlds better hearing that. "I do feel like I'm blowing it up. Or maybe I'm worried about blowing it up. I just…" I blinked back tears, shocked I was crying. It really wasn't that big of a fucking deal.

He smiled as he slid in the booth across from me. "Tams, you're not the only one who has felt this or feels this. Shit, I was drowning in this feeling—do you remember the first time we got back together? I felt this all of the time. That I would blow anything up and not be able to handle it.

"I know you hated that I agreed with everything you wanted like a Stepford Boyfriend, but it was because of this feeling. That we had so much going on and everything was—I didn't want to blow anything up. I didn't want to make it worse and be the reason we had issues. I didn't want to be the reason you hurt again."

Yes, but that was actually valid since it had been his fault. He nodded that he knew that without me saying it.

More food came, and then it was time to finally say what was going on with me out loud.

"I think I need Hudson not to invite anyone to our intimate times. Even you guys, especially Neldor," I whispered. "He has before and it's been fine, but there is still shit with Dalyor, and after today—it still stings. I know that's not who he is and he went off the path, but… My mate tried to fix me by bringing another man to our bed."

"He did. He was a complete duffer, and that's not a wound that heals fast. He even realized that and said it had to do with Dalyor still wanting you. He thought he handled it well today—hoped he did, and you seemed happy how he handled it."

"I was," I agreed before stuffing a whole dumpling in my mouth. "We were the team. We were a tight team on the same page. And I wanted to enjoy that and love on my stupid, stupid dragon. And then he just added Neldor. He's going to direct. And after how Neldor—I just didn't want to. And I felt—"

"Hey, how you felt was valid, Tams," he promised. "Totally valid. Full stop. This is a sensitive topic and boundary for you until this issue heals better. Totally fair to say. There's no reason for it to blow up at all."

"But?"

"No but. None at all."

I nodded. "In addition?" I stuffed another dumpling in my mouth when he didn't answer and moved one onto his plate. They were too good for him not to have at least one to try.

"I think you handled it well. Time out and just let's all talk about it. No blowups." He chuckled when I gestured around with my chopsticks as if saying I didn't keep it calm. "Tams, your life is fucking crazy. If you were a normal student with one relationship this might have been a bit much. But your life isn't, and you get all of the fucking passes. Infinity passes."

That was the part I missed and kept having a hard time reminding myself of.

"I don't know how to handle your jealousy about making an earthquake with Neldor," I admitted. "And I don't want to be dismissive of it."

"That's for us to deal with and bring to you if we need to," he countered. "If we can't even bring it up—like you are about this and your concerns—then we don't—it's not for you to worry about."

I nodded and ate a few more dumplings. "But I still do. Are we okay at least?"

He smiled and used his chopsticks to pick up a dumpling, holding it out to me. "Tams, we've rocked the world a hundred times over. People just aren't on the same frequency as us to feel it."

I fucking swooned. Seriously. The man was like deadly sexy.

I ate my dumpling and tried not to fan my face.

And probably failed miserably.

Seriously.

Just… Seriously .

For real, Julian Craftsman was just too fucking sexy, and I was getting turned on instead of upset now. He tucked his shoulder-length curly dark blonde hair behind his ears before his intense emerald-green eyes met mine. They flashed shock as he probably saw something in my aura.

Definitely from the way he licked his lips. "How about we finish this and then I can show you exactly what I'm talking about?"

Shit, I was about panting. I shook off my lust and nodded, glad when more food came. I ordered some more for now while Julian looked over the menu for what we could take to go, especially for second and third dinners.

"Get all the sweet and sour options. Extra sweet and sour sauce and egg rolls. Eat them off of me with Darby again." I cleared my throat when he simply chuckled and wrote it on his long list. "And a few dozen spring rolls. You guys like those too."

I rolled my eyes when he covered his face. Yeah, yeah, I wasn't subtle.

"Tell me what's going on with Neldor. No judgment. Just let it out like you would with Izzy so I can tell you that you're valid."

"Only if I am."

"Tams, I already know you are. You might be letting it snowball because of how overburdened you are, but if you feel upset, you're already valid. I learned that in therapy and I feel it. Now, you could be wrong if you misunderstood something, and if you did, we can figure that out. But just get this off of you."

It helped that he was focused on the menu and writing. I was completely sure that was why he was doing it… So I took advantage of that.

"He didn't say anything about the sex," I blurted before stuffing some lo mein in my mouth. "Nothing. Just assumed the moment we were done having our wings out and the healers cleared us we were having more sex. Like that's it? All of our talking and consideration about how to proceed and what we were to each other and that was it?

"It just all feels like bullshit lip service and now he got what he wanted and I can just be easy for him. And I know I need to let that go, but I still hear it. I still feel… It's hard to trust him after all he did even if I do. I—he did a lot and deep to deserve my hate and distrust. Plus, after our first disaster of world's worst sex to say like oh, this was great and—"

"Wait, what ‘first disaster?'" Julian cut in, glancing up. "You weren't only together that one time with the earthquake?"

I winced, totally forgetting I didn't tell anyone else besides Calarel because we really had to. "Um, so, right, I didn't want to embarrass—well, really both of us." I sighed and caved when worry filled his eyes. I told him what happened, then growled when he looked like he might laugh. "Julian, it was so bad we both faked finishing."

He opened his mouth and then closed it before trying again. "How does a duffer even fake? I mean, you would like know that—"

"Yeah, I did know. I'm assuming I was so bad that he went soft and faked it. I left and checked and yeah, no finish."

He snorted and frowned when I flinched. "Tams, you are not bad at sex. Ever. Half asleep, drunk off your ass—ever. Every inch of you is seduction and just—it wasn't you. There's no way it—it was him."

I shrugged. "It was me too. He put so much into it and then it got awkward and every time something went wrong I felt like I couldn't get my footing—it was both of us."

"Fine, but it was ninety percent him and all his fault to start," he defended as he focused on our food. He snorted, shaking his head.

"Julian," I growled.

He sighed. "He deserves some poking. You aren't the only one he was a rat bastard to, Tams. For real. He was… Fuck, the Prince of Darkness deserves some shit for this. The git truly does for all the shit he's put on us."

I couldn't even deny it. I let it go though because I had enough faith in Julian he'd be mature about this. "He hasn't said anything since. I mean, comments like he was annoyed at the time-out. Wow, I'm so hot for that. Yeah, our embarrassment and causing a fucking earthquake ruined his getting laid. I'm swooning ."

I bitched as I kept eating, putting some of the good stuff on Julian's plate for him and saying what to get more of as I did. I also told him that I'd tried to talk about this with Neldor. I actually had, mostly saying that I had concerns about—well, I hadn't wanted to talk about the first time. That wasn't who I was.

I was a runner. But I'd wanted to smooth it over and say I'd felt connected to him the second time. It had gone better. Something . Just something especially after the embarrassment and everyone knowing.

And he ignored me.

He talked over me.

He repeatedly said he was annoyed he couldn't get laid when we could still have sex with our wings out. Fine, he didn't say it like that but… Basically.

Yeah, that didn't really put me in the mood.

Sure, I was still getting sex and a lot of it and he hadn't had it for years because we were mates—something I didn't ask him to do since we weren't together—but even if we were just sex, no one wanted to feel cheap. Or easy again after he'd said it before.

That was where I was.

"You're valid, Tams," he said when I was finally done and all the plates were empty.

I raised an eyebrow when more plates arrived.

"You were a bit focused on what you were saying when I ordered some more," he told me, smiling at the server as he set it all down. "I wrote out the rest we'd like to take to go to our friends for the party we're heading to. And then I can take the bill, thanks." He handed over the list of food, the server not hiding his shock well.

Yeah, we got that a lot.

I pulled out my phone and texted Taeral that if he hadn't taken Katrina to this place yet, that he should. And if he wasn't having sex with her yet, this would seal the deal because Julian had brought me here and he was getting all of the sex.

"You really just sent that to Neldor's godsfather," Julian chuckled, shaking his head.

I winced. "I didn't think of it like that. I just like fucking with him. He's so Iolas without the whole in love with my mother weirdness. He's like my uncle…" I tossed my phone down, my fun ruined.

"Hey, you're doing okay," he whispered. "It's a lot. I'd be losing my mind if I found out my da had an older sister and there was this kind of drama and we're not the royal fucking family, Tams."

Taeral: Good to know, and I'm tempted to tell Neldor where you are for poking at me since he's here ruining my date with Katrina grilling me on what he did wrong to upset you when I have no idea and do not have a crystal ball. So if you could tell me so he can fix it and I could get back to my date and not be involved in both of your sex lives, I would greatly appreciate it.

I laughed. That was the funny I needed, showing Julian who laughed as well.

Julain took my phone and responded—with my permission. We paid the bills and collected all the leftovers before we headed out… And remembered that he lived with Neldor.

And I didn't want to go back to my house after what happened.

"You own like fifty houses, Tams," Julian reminded me. "Where do you want to spend winter break?" He frowned. "Actually, didn't you have a plan for this already? I think Hhora mentioned something. No, Darby did?"

I winced, remembering something about that too. Before I could even say anything, he had his phone out and connected a call.

"Park City, Utah," Darby said on the other end of the line, his tone amused. "She owns a twenty-five-million-dollar compound there, and she's finally getting her white, white Christmas she's wanted. Lucca is teaching us to snowboard. Your wedding was going to be there, and that was how we controlled the guest list—"

"Oh, okay, I thought it all went out the window when eloping did," I grumbled, remembering it all now. "I know where we're going then. We toured the house when…" I sighed.

When we'd looked at it for eloping and a cute small ceremony.

That hadn't lasted long. Now we were having an informal one and potluck at the castle, but—the guest list had completely spun out of control. Julian was fine about it, but I was still salty.

"Tams, I like us having a winter holiday there just for us better," he said gently. "Our honeymoon will be there." He gave me a soft kiss before focusing on the call. "We'll be there with fresh Chinese."

"Good, I'm starved since I've been here waiting."

"Bring egg rolls," someone yelled in the background, probably Rafe.

I just sighed. Always the crazy. I told Ara to text Darby's security and see what they wanted, getting their order and where to join us.

Always the damn crazy.