Chapter 23

23

NIKO

"You're really going to let him go by himself?"

"What do you expect me to do, Mateo? You know I don't want to go."

My heart broke in two when I heard his soft goodbye as he walked out the door. The past few days have been the absolute worst for me. Getting into that argument with King was not what I wanted to do. But when he brought up the Halloween Ball, I panicked. I still don't understand it myself, but I never thought that fight would cause a rift between us.

Hell, we've barely talked these past few days. He always stays out at the gym until after I'm asleep so he can hide out in his room when he gets home. It fucking hurts. And it's my fault.

There's a soft knock at the door, and for a second I think it's King, until I realize he lives here and would just walk in. Mateo opens the door and Sam strolls through waving hello.

"Hey, Niko."

"Hi, Sam," I say, melancholy straining my voice and my thoughts on King and how dejected he looked before he left.

"So, you're really not going to the Halloween Ball?" He sighs, eyeing me up and down.

"Oh, my Medusa. Not you too."

"What?" He shrugs, advancing into the room. "I'm just saying, King is my friend and it fucking sucks to see him so down."

"Yeah, well it's no picnic for me either."

"Then why don't you go? I'm sorry, but you're being an ass. Do you know that King thinks you won't go with him because he's a human and you're ashamed of him?"

"What?" I whisper, my heart in my throat. I didn't fucking think he would think that at all. "That's not true."

"Yeah, well, that's what's been running through his head the past few days. That, and the fact you don't want to be seen with him."

"No," I croak, tears coming to my eyes. "It has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me." Mateo walks over to me, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, well..." Sam trails off, not finishing his sentence.

"Fuck, I-I-I gotta go."

Running to my room, I grab my leather jacket, shoving it on before slipping into my combat boots. I need to get to King, and I need to get there fast. Running out of my room, I don't say goodbye to either Mateo or Sam. I take off out the door and jog down the stairs as fast as I can. Pulling on the door, I dash into the night, the blood moon illuminating the university. Looking around, I see humans and monsters of all kinds strolling, taking pictures, and chatting away.

I run through the crowd and head straight for the banquet hall. I know exactly where I'm going, so I sprint at full speed, my thoughts only on King and trying to find him as quickly as possible. I twist to the side, barely missing a group of giggling Phoenixes on the sidewalk. "Sorry," I toss over my shoulder as I keep running.

I make it to the banquet hall, running up the steps as fast as I can. I stop short when I recognize a familiar body shape off in the side of the stairs in the shadows.

"Kingston," I whisper, making my way to him. I can tell the moment he senses my presence because his body locks up tight and his head turns away. I approach him slowly, nerves fluttering in my stomach at the thought of him walking away from me and not giving me a chance to explain. "Can we talk?"

He doesn't say anything, his foot tapping incessantly on the ground. Not wanting to give up, I try again.

"Kingston, please, can we talk?" I plead, taking a chance and grabbing his hand. He doesn't pull away, so I take that as a win.

"Fine, talk." He doesn’t look at me, his gaze focused on the ground.

"Okay." Taking a deep breath, I squeeze his hand, trying to figure out how exactly I want to word this. "First, I want to apologize. After our disagreement, I should have talked to you sooner and told you exactly what I was feeling. But, to be honest, I'm embarrassed of why I didn't want to go."

King turns his head, locking his eyes on mine. "What are you embarrassed of?"

"The whole Halloween Ball thing. It's a time when monsters all over the university get to celebrate being in their shifted forms. King, I'm always in this form. That's the reason I didn't want to go. Everyone was going to be out and happy, and I just haven't felt that at all. It's something I've struggled with my whole life. Not being able to shift, having to deal with all the stares and whispers. And, I mean, I deal with it. But each year, they have the Halloween Ball, and each year I've ditched it. I've found excuse after excuse to not attend, but this year there was you." I smile, my heart beating wildly. "You asked me to go, and I didn't know how to explain my insecurities to you. I know you would have understood, but it's hard for me to admit it to myself, let alone talk about it."

"I've known you've felt this way. Remember the day in the quad when you lost your glasses? You told me you hate always being in your monster form."

"I know, but still. It hasn't gotten easier for me. Everyone will be ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ over everyone's form, and I'll just be… there. I feel like I don't fit in–with monsters or humans. But I need you to know this: I am not ashamed of being with you or the fact you're a human. I promise you that."

King turns to face me, grabbing my other hand so he's cradling them both. "Niko, I am not ashamed of you or the fact you're a monster."

Tilting my head, I raise my eyebrow. "Thanks?"

"And I think you're forgetting something many others can't say at all."

"What's that?"

"That you're such an amazing monster, you always get to be in your monster form. Do you know there are probably monsters who crave the same thing you do? You want to shift, and I bet there's monsters who wish they were always in their shifted forms."

"I never thought of that. Kovi had mentioned something similar, but it's hard for me to change how I feel. To feel as though I’m worthy of being called a monster, but look so much like a human."

"I fell for you, monster and all. The fact that these guys," he pets Bo and Coby smiling softly before continuing, "are a part of you, is a bonus. I love you for who you are, and I will make it my mission to show you how amazing you are."

"You love me?" I choke out, tears filling my eyes.

"I do. I probably fell in love with you way before I should have. Your hatred was definitely a turn on. But I'm sorry about these past few days, too. I should have talked to you as well. All I wanted to do was show you off. I wanted to walk into that ball with you on my arm and show everyone what an amazing man I have."

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you. My pride got in the way. But when Sam told me why you thought I didn't want to go, I had to find you. I promise you, one hundred percent, it was never about you. It was all me."

"Are you sure?"

"Kingston, I am sure. I could not be more proud to be with you. That is, if you still want to be with me."

"Of course, I still want to be with you. It's one of the reasons I was avoiding you for the past few days. I wasn't going to give you the chance to try and break up with me. I just didn't know how to talk to you about the fight."

"I love you." Smiling, a tear slips free, falling down my face. King sweetly wipes it away with his thumb before gripping my chin and pulling me close. He places a soft kiss onto my lips before pulling away. "I want to go in and show you off."

"Niko, we don't have to go in there. I wouldn't want to put you in an uncomfortable position."

"See, that's the thing I should have realized earlier. I always feel so safe with you. Not only the way you care for me, but the fact you care about each of my snakes. You make me feel seen and you love me for who I am, even with how grumpy I can be. I'm who I want to be when I'm with you. I'm a confident monster who isn't scared to walk into the world with you by my side." I snicker, wiping at my tears. "I may have figured this out a little bit too late, and I'm sorry, but better late than never, right?"

"I have loved you for you this whole time. I want to be your safe space. I want to be the one place you and all your snakes lay your heads at night knowing you're protected and cared for."

"We do know that. And I am grateful you love them as much as you love me."

"Of course, I do."

"Come on." Standing up, I dust off my jeans and reach my hand out to him. "I wanna show you off. I can do this. With you by my side, I can do anything."

While I know all my insecurities aren't going to magically disappear, it's a good first step for me to take. I haven't gone to one of these yet, and my feelings are too big and unfamiliar, but with my hand in King's, I know I have the support to do this. Taking a deep breath, I squeeze my boyfriend’s hand and walk up the stairs. Right before we reach the door, King pulls at my hand, dragging me into his body.

"I am so proud of you. And I am so turned on right now, knowing you're walking in there with your head held high and doing something that might make you uncomfortable."

"Thank you," I whisper, looking into his eyes. "Let's go, and then we can rush back to the dorm."

"Deal."

Walking into the banquet hall, I'm blown away. There are so many decorations everywhere. The university went all out for this. The hall is coated with Halloween decor, but it looks so much like Creelin U, I can't help but smile. The floating candelabras give off a light glow. The usually modern interior now matches the gothic architecture of the outside. I turn around in a circle, pausing when I see a photo booth.

"Would you want to take a picture with me?" I ask shyly, hoping he says yes.

"Hell, yes, I do. Come on." King drags me by the hand, my laughter filling the space around us. My emotions have been on a rollercoaster, but I am so damn happy right now, and I want to capture it as a memory.

We wait in line, and I use the time to glance at everyone around us. Of course there are humans walking around, but my eyes are on all the monsters and how happy they seem to be. We have Mummies, Wolves, and holy shit, a fucking Hydra casually walking by. I know I'm a monster, but I am still fascinated by the other species of creatures that attend Creelin U. And for the first time, I realize many of these are students I know who never walk around in their shifted form, and I start to feel something stir in my chest. Maybe there are monsters who are jealous of me the way I am of them. It's a pretty common thing to be envious of what you don't have.

I'm shaken out of my thoughts when King taps my shoulder. "You ready?" he asks, jerking his head in the direction of the photo booth.

I nod my head, leading him over to in front of the camera. Turning him around, I step in front so that his chest is to my back. Grabbing his arms, I wrap them around my waist, giggling when King barks out a laugh.

"Are we doing the prom pose?"

"I thought it was appropriate." I chuckle, turning my face to the camera. The Zombie working the camera snaps a picture, the flash shining bright in my eyes. Flipping around, I face King smiling. "And now one like this," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. The Zombie takes another picture before King grabs me and positions us into a new pose. He grabs my leg, pulling it up into an L against his leg. King pulls off my beanie and tosses it to the side, letting my snakes free from the confines. Throwing my head back, I laugh, the flash going off at the perfect moment.

"I don't think you need this anymore. You no longer need to always be hiding," he whispers, leaning down to my ear.

"I think you're right," I whisper back, dropping my leg back to the ground. "Come on, let's go see what else there is."