Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

M aggs and I hurried the ten feet from Oddities to Coral's door and went into the most tantalizing cloud of warmth and aroma in the universe: coffee, fresh baked bread, sugar and butter—all the smells of heaven.

"And where is the handsome Max this morning?" Coral called from behind the center counter. She looked as warm as her bakery case, smiling at me as her cleavage pressed against the top of her low-cut apron like risen bread rolls, her platinum blonde hair gleaming as if it were sugar-glazed in the overhead light. Coral is seventy-four, but she doesn't see what that has to do with her clothes or her hair. I aspire to be Coral someday.

"The handsome Max is out walking in the woods again," I said. "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course," Coral said and called to her shop clerk. "Anita, watch the counter for me, please."

Anita—an anomaly in Rocky Start because she was in her twenties, sweet-faced, and not armed—came out of the back and waved to me as I retreated to the end of the bakery cases to the little stretch of counter that was perpendicular to and half hidden behind the last case. It was where Coral's friend-with-benefits, Pike, usually sat, and it would also keep me at least partly hidden if somebody came in looking for me, but mostly it would give Coral and me some privacy.

Coral came down to meet me and smiled over the counter at the dog. "And does our sweet Maggs require a cookie?"

Maggs immediately sat down and looked expectant, much more appreciative of a good thing than her owner.

Coral got a cookie out of her dog cookie stash and reached over the counter and Maggs took it delicately, like the good girl she was. Then Maggs looked at me. Coral had told me the dog was trained not to eat unless given permission because someone might try to poison her. That seemed appropriate for a dog that hung out with Max. It had taken a lot of convincing for Max to dive into my lasagna that first day he was in town, and my lasagna is epic.

I nodded at the dog. "Knock yourself out, baby."

Maggs crunched down on the cookie happily.

"She takes commands from you now," Coral said approvingly.

I hadn't even realized it. But German Shepherds were known for bonding to only one person, yet here she was with me. Good, but I had more pressing concerns. I turned back to Coral.

"Is it some kind of retired spy thing that they have to be always on the move?"

Coral frowned at me. "Why would you think that? Pike and I will never move from here. Oz was never away more than a night or two and then he was off in the forest on one of his jaunts. Lian has never left since she arrived. Betty Baumgarten has not left in many years. Even Melissa is never away more than two or three nights. This is where we are safe."

"Max is leaving," I said, trying to sound unconcerned.

Coral sighed. "Oh. I thought he might stay. You are so good for him." She opened the nearest bakery case, took out a slab of yellow cake, put it on a plate, and put the plate next to my rapidly cooling Lemon Zinger.

" Butterkuchen ," she said, which I think is German for "comfort on a plate."

" Danke ," I said.

" Bitte ," she said and handed me a fork.

I cut into my butter cake, cracking the sugar glaze full of almonds on top, and tasted it: rich and sweet and nutty, like Coral. Divine, also like Coral. Sugar: the universal solution to every problem. Except for the problems of my traumatized daughter, and my lover with one foot out the door, and what the hell I was going to do with my failure of a secondhand shop.

Stop whining, Rose.

The door opened as it had been doing while we'd been talking—Ecstasy is a very popular place—but this time it was Sid Quill, our local pharmacist, flashing his stained lab coat like it was a tux. I think he thought it said "Hi, I'm a professional" instead of "Stand back, I don't do laundry." And even though Coral and I were half hidden behind the bakery case, he looked around until he spotted me.

"Oh, hell," I said.

Sid came toward me, beaming. He really shouldn't do that. Did you ever see Rocky Horror ? He reminded me of Riff Raff, so even when he was just being friendly, he looked like he was plotting something for the secret lab in his basement. That was not a joke—he actually had a secret lab in the basement of the pharmacy. Sid and most of the other men of Rocky Start never paid much attention to me until Ozzie died and left me everything, along with the rumor that there were millions hidden in our building, which I thought was a crock even though Max had found fifty thousand dollars in what he called a go bag. That is not millions, not even close—and I'd had to give ten thousand of it to Ozzie's lawyer—but it's still very nice.

But that's also when the proposals had started piling up, along with the gifts. Flowers (mostly supermarket). Jewelry (nothing good). A small handgun that Max wasn't impressed with (his was bigger). I got some peace as long as Max was with me, but on my own, I was suddenly the most popular woman in town.

"Rose, you're looking pretty this morning," Sid said as he sat down beside me. He tugged on one of my curls like I was a little kid until Maggs growled. "Cute as a button."

Die, Sid .

I am not cute as a button and he knew it, but the prospect of millions can make a man say many stupid things, not to mention make any woman attractive. Cash goggles.

I couldn't be rude, though. Sid's our pharmacist, among other things, and his pharmacy is right next door to Oddities, my shop, so he's a neighbor, so I have to be polite. "What will you have, Sid?" Coral said, her voice flat.

"Well, I think I'll have what pretty Rose is having," Sid said, trying what I think was a flirtatious wink and looking like he was thinking of eating my liver with a side of butterkuchen .

Coral turned to get Sid some cake.

"So, I don't see that Max fellow hanging around you," Sid said, swiveling on his seat to face me. "He finally leave town?" He nudged my knee with his.

Maggs growled again, and I moved my knee out of nudging distance. If he touched me again, I was going to learn the command to make Maggs kill.

"Nope, he's just taking a walk," I said, keeping my eyes on my cake.

"You know, Rose," Sid began, "You're not that young anymore. And with all that money in the building, you should have a man who'll?—"

"There's no money and I turned fifty on All Saints Day," I told him shortly. "And you're what, seventy?"

"Sixty-eight," he said sullenly.

"So, I'd end up taking care of you. No." I frowned at him. "And what about that little redhead who visits you from out of town? Don't you have a thing going there already with her?"

"Business associate," Sid said primly.

Coral slapped a plate full of cake down in front of him, her scowl full of warning.

Sid turned back to me and opened his mouth, but then the door opened again.

This time it was Geoffrey Nice, one of our two local funeral directors, holding a bunch of sunflowers and looking around the shop. Geoffrey had had a crush on me for nineteen years. Ozzie had kept him at bay, but Geoffrey had always looked for me first, no matter where he was, so he was not a gold-digger. I didn't want to marry him, but I wasn't annoyed with him for trying to court me for nineteen years.

"Rose," Sid said, ignoring Geoffrey, which most people did, "I was hoping that you might accompany me to the Wok Inn tonight." I blinked at him, and he added, "For dinner."

I forked some more cake so I wouldn't fork Sid. "Sorry, can't, I have work to do."

Sid nodded. "Looking for the money. Need any help with that?"

That's when Geoffrey spotted us and gave me a shy smile and came around the bakery case and sat down on the other side of me, very quiet, very large, hunched shoulders, nervous smile, his big head covered with thinning blond hair. "I got you some flowers," he said, his voice uncertain, and held out the sunflowers, wrapped in cellophane with a sticker from the grocery in Bearton. $8.99.

Sid snorted. Derision was evidently his love language.

"Sunflowers!" I said as I took them. "How did you know they were my favorite?" Okay, I liked sunflowers just fine, but mostly I said that because Geoffrey was a nice guy who didn't deserve to be snorted at by Sid.

"They looked like you," he said, ducking his head, and I looked at those bright sunshine yellows and sturdy petals and thought, That's a real compliment .

Sid was glaring at him, which annoyed me more. If Sid had been the funeral director, he'd have brought me flowers he'd swiped off a casket.

Coral came down to take his order, so I went back to my own cake with sunflowers in my lap, trying to enjoy the almonds in spite of the company.

The door opened again, and Harvey Ware came in, holding purple asters that looked like he'd stolen them from somebody's dying garden. Harvey had been a good-looking guy nineteen years ago, which was probably why I'd slept with him once back then. Once. Looks can only get you so far if you don't have skills, not to mention a complete lack of rhythm, and now, decades later, he looked like somebody who'd been left in the rain too long. The new mustache and the Hawaiian shirt under his puffy parka didn't help. (Flamingos are never a good look for a man.)

"It's the routine," Coral said to me now, shaking her head at his entrance. "You should vary your breakfast time so they cannot find you here."

Yes, there was my fourth act. Avoiding money-grubbing stalkers by varying my pastry-eating moments.

"There you are, beautiful," Harvey said when he reached me, stopping when Maggs growled. He handed me his half-dead asters over Maggs' head and tried to put his arm around me. "Give us a smile, Rose."

I moved away from his arm. Someday I'm going to lose it completely and stab anybody who says that.

"What do you want, Harvey?" Coral said, her German accent a bit stronger as I leaned away from Harvey, and he grinned crookedly at me and said, "Whatever sexy Rose is having."

"Oh, for God's sake, Harvey," Sid said, "give it a rest, will you?"

Harvey lost his smile and looked down at Sid in much the same way I thought he must look at cockroaches. He was the local exterminator, and Poppy didn't like him because she said rats and mice have souls, too, so Harvey was a non-starter for her as a stepfather, but Harvey hadn't cottoned on to that yet. Now he looked like he was about to spray Sid with something caustic.

Harvey put his hands on my shoulders and leaned down close to my ear, and I thought about forking him in the eye, but before I could do that, the door opened again and Bea Handler, proprietor of The Honey Pot—our local honey and beeswax emporium—came in, blonde and busty and bitchy as ever, and Harvey let go of me fast. She went straight for Harvey. "I knew I'd find you here," she snarled at him. "Chasing Rose."

"Now, Bea," Harvey said, shooting me a nervous grin, blinking hard.

"She's not interested in you," Bea told Harvey. "She's got that new guy, the one that looks like death incarnate, and I bet he's a lot better in bed than you. So now I'm not interested in you, either. A man who'll get out of my bed to chase another woman is nobody I want near me. Your clothes are out on the street. Pick them up any time before noon because that's when I'm gonna set fire to them."

"Now, Bea," Harvey said, but she had already gone down the counter to give Anita her order, glaring at me over the bakery case as she went.

I finished my butterkuchen as Lionel Ferrell, the postmaster, came in with some carnations, his divorce not even final yet and his pending ex-wife Dottie not a woman anyone wanted to tangle with if they wanted to live. Or get their mail, since she was also the postmistress.

I met Coral's eyes for sympathy, and she leaned forward and whispered, "Be careful with Lionel. Louise is back in town."

"Oh, God, no," I said.

Louise was the sultry blonde temptress who'd led Lionel to betray his marriage vows (not for the first time; Lionel was a serial cheater, which I always found odd because he looks like that guy in the American Gothic painting), after which Louise had dumped him and gone to Peru with Alfie, the town's veterinarian. We'd missed the vet, although Poppy had done a great job filling in on the minor stuff.

Lionel came up behind me, smiling, and asked Geoffrey for his seat, but I stood up before he could move.

"No, I'm done, take my seat." I tried to slide around Lionel.

"Looking pretty, Rose," he said, blocking me as Harvey closed in on the other side.

"Lionel, you're married."

Maggs got up and shoved between me and Harvey and I patted her head. Good dog.

"Call me Lion," Lionel said, leaning closer, looking deeply into my eyes as Maggs growled.

"No." I moved away, Maggs close behind me covering my retreat, and then I turned to look at all of them. "Look, I appreciate the compliments, but I am not getting married to anybody, ever. So no, I do not want help looking for money which I don't think exists. Also no, I am not available for anything at any time. Please stop asking."

"Oh, come on, sexy, you don't mean that," Harvey said, looking roguish.

"You'll need a man, so you'll change your mind," Sid said, looking confident.

"Of course," Geoffrey said, looking crushed.

"Your mail's gonna be late," Lionel threatened.

Okay, definitely a new life.

"Enough!" Coral snapped from behind the counter. "You are all acting like little boys. Rose is not here for you." She pulled off her apron, a rare sign of anger. "Come with me, please, Rose." She indicated the door behind the counter to the kitchen where her ovens were.

Anywhere was better than with these idiots, so Maggs and I followed her.