Chapter Seven

I don't dare enter the gates until I'm positive Nick is far beyond my ever catching up to him.

Unless, of course, he waits for me.

My worry is unwarranted as I make it through the gates and onto the perfectly manicured campus with no interruptions. I take inventory of the four buildings: Northgate, Westbourne, and Eastbourne, but when my eyes fall to Southgate, terror encapsulates me. It ensnares me without warning, capturing every single one of my senses so I can do nothing but fixate on the building, my mind summoning the horrors I endured last March.

I attempt to reach for the pendant, but my arm won't obey my brain. I stand frozen, the pace of my heart increasing at an alarming rate. My breath staggers at uneven intervals, as though I've forgotten how to breathe.

A voice calls my name. Incoherent. Muffled. Much too far away for me to decipher who -

"Rhi!" Zo yells in my face, jerking me from my stupor.

I blink and draw in a shuddering breath. "Zo."

She cups my face with both hands. "What just happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I blink again and remove her hands. "Sorry, I just…zoned out."

She glances at me skeptically, and I know she doesn't buy it. She's half-Sphinx with a mind like a honed blade, but thankfully, she lets it go.

"Come on," she says with an encouraging smile. "Let's get to our room."

Zo tells me about the rest of her summer with her father, step-mother (whom she still calls step-monster, so I guess there's no love lost there), and her excitement that next year, her younger sister, Zephyr, will start as a freshman at Alystair University.

"You had to see the look on Zephy's face when she put on the sweatshirt that B bought her."

My head snaps in her direction. "B?"

Zo shifts uncomfortably as we head inside Northgate. "We spent a lot of time together this summer."

The corner of my mouth lifts. "Are the two of you-"

"We're just friends," she quickly says, her jaw locked and eyes straight ahead.

Just friends. That phrase. That word. I've used it enough times to know when its delivery isn't sincere, but if Zo isn't ready to discuss her relationship with B, then I won't push it.

The hallways of Northgate are just as I remember them, glistening and luminescent beneath the sun's rays, beaming brightly through the magnificent arched windows. A smile creeps upon my lips as merriment that isn't my own washes over me, a sensation that speaks without words, but I understand it nonetheless: welcome home.

Zo and I make our way up the winding staircase to the second floor, housing both freshmen and sophomores. The corridor is a flurry of activity: doors open as other students move in, everyone talking about their summer. We wave quick hellos to familiar faces, and I don't miss the wary expressions given us, or the fact that voices lower after we pass. Not everyone knows the full extent of what happened last March, but the entire student body was informed that the murderer was apprehended, and Nick, the girl gang, and I were all caught in the crossfire and made it out unscathed.

Well, some of us did.

Zo and I stop about halfway down the hall when a strange tug pierces my abdomen, a combination of wistfulness and urgency. The Scylla is quiet, the heads not bothering to peek one of their sleeping eyes open, so danger is not the cause of this urgency. The library enters the forefront of my mind, and the pressing need to go there burns in my chest. I open my mouth to tell Zo as much, but she swings open the door to our room, and the urgency dies when we both come to the halting realization of why we are rooming together this year.

Zo steps foot inside first, delicately, like she's treading a minefield. I stand at the threshold, peering at the bare walls and white, uncovered mattresses, too afraid to step inside just yet. Zo releases a shaky exhale before turning to face me, her dark eyes glassy.

I finally step over the threshold and pull her in for a hug. "I know," I tell her, my skull aching with the familiar pressure of holding back tears. "I know."

After Liv's death, Zo hadn't wanted to give up her old room, to everyone's surprise. She preferred to stay alone for the rest of the Spring semester, and Talbot didn't argue. After I broke up with Nick, I withdrew from Scarlett, who spent most of her time with Astrid, anyway. So at the end of the semester, we decided that in the fall Zo and I would room together, and in light of what we all went through, Professor Talbot allowed Astrid and Scar to dorm together.

Still, the morbid circumstances that brought Zo and I together as roommates this semester are a tangible presence in this room as we grip each other tightly, and I allow tears to fall down my face.

"I've got you, Zo."

Zo sniffles and withdraws from my embrace. "I've got you too, Rhi. I never apologized for what I said to you after she died-"

I cut her off by holding up my hand. "Zo, no apology needed."

She smiles. "Still, I'm sorry for what I said, and I want you to know that even though you were closest to her, all of us are here for you. For each other. Got it?"

I raise my brows and smirk. "That drill sergeant tone sounds awfully familiar," I tease.

Zo rolls her eyes and playfully shoves my shoulder. "Let it go." She turns and surveys the room with distaste before returning her attention to me. "Let's add some fucking color to this place, shall we?"

In about two hours, Zo and I unpack our things and, as she stated, added "some fucking color" to the stark white room.

This room is slightly larger than the room I shared with Scar as a freshman, offering Zo and I both separate closets. Zo quickly claimed the left side of the room as hers, as I understand her hesitation to take over what I'm sure she deems in her head as "Liv's side." Because I do too.

Although it's still early in the day once we finish, the situation is eerily similar to my first day at Alystair, when Zo announces she's hungry and asks if I want to get something to eat.

Though I'm starving, the hunger I have for a slice of pizza reminds me of another unwelcome hunger that's been visiting lately, and one that I need answers for as soon as possible.

"Actually, I really need to see Wilde first," I tell her.

Zo's eyes narrow. "Everything, okay?"

"Yeah." I'm not lying. Not exactly. No use in worrying anyone until I know for sure there's something to worry about .

"Alright. I'll go over to Astrid and Scar's and see if they want to grab something to eat. Text me when you're done, okay?"

I nod and we both depart. I head down the stairs and out the doors toward Eastbourne, bumping into Geraldine and Robert along the way. Geraldine still keeps her bow and arrows strapped to her back, reminding me of how Cicero provoked the first of the snake-like heads to emerge, when he ordered me to stop an arrow Geraldine fired at Robert's heart.

We exchange a few pleasantries before I excuse myself and finally make it to the door of Eastbourne, only for it to be opened by Nick.

I jerk back immediately, the action not going unnoticed by him. His lips curl into a sneer.

"Stalking doesn't suit you," he mocks.

"I'm going to see Wilde," I answer defensively.

Surprise flashes in his eyes before it's smothered by apathy. "I didn't ask."

Nick brushes past me, and though I attempt to fight it, I glance over my shoulder, silently begging him to meet my eyes. I watch him walk away, never once looking back, just like the night he walked out of my room. I hear the word again, louder this time, a confirmation to the ardent denial by my heart.

Enemies .

Professor Wilde's door is open when I arrive, her head down and gaze fixed on a stack of papers she rifles through. Before I have a chance to knock, her attention snaps to me, and her full lips curve into a wide, welcoming smile.

"Rhi! Come in!" She stacks the papers neatly and places them down on her desk. "Nick was just here."

I take the seat opposite her desk and produce a strained smile. "Oh."

A knowing look crosses her face, and she eyes me curiously. "How are you doing?"

I shrug. "I'm okay. Happy to be back."

Her already perfectly arched brows somehow curve impossibly higher. "Are you?"

The pendant feels like a weight at the hollow of my throat. My fingers graze the three gemstones within it as I try to find the strength to lie to Wilde while she cuts me with her thunderstorm eyes.

I sigh and let my hand fall to my lap, dropping my gaze. "I can't even look at Southgate," I whisper. "I can't…" I exhale heavily. "I froze today when I saw it. I couldn't even breathe."

The sound of Wilde rising from her seat causes me to lift my stare. The sharp smile and penetrating gaze I'm familiar with is absent. She comes around and leans back against the front of her desk, her long, platinum hair secured behind her head in a low ponytail. Her palms lie flat behind her as she fixes me with a soft expression.

"What you are experiencing is normal for a person who has gone through traumatic events. Your brain associates Southgate with a traumatizing experience. Therefore, it's normal for your body to react the way it has. It's your brain's way of protecting you, even if the danger is no longer present."

"Will it ever stop?"

"Eventually, though, it may take a while." She tilts her head to the side. "Have you spoken with anyone else about this? Your friends? Nick?"

I exert a conscious effort not to wince at his name, and shake my head.

"It might help you to talk about it with them."

I lick my lips. "I'm talking about it right now. With you."

Wilde nods. "Ok. I will help you in whatever way I can."

I sigh as relief floods me. The problem with telling any of the girls is that there's a chance of how I'm feeling gets back to Nick, who seems to be progressing on his journey of hating me. And I need him to hate me. As much as my heart is in agony and a piece of my soul shreds apart each day, his hatred of me is what will keep him safe. If he thinks I'm in danger in any way, I know he'll put his resentment aside to save me instead, and I can't allow that to happen.

"Thank you," I say, then take a deep breath. "There is something else."

"Oh?"

I avert my gaze again, fiddling with my fingers in my lap until a long, clawed fingernail tips my chin upright. It occurs to me that aside from her lethal smile, I'd never seen any of Wilde's monstrous attributes. I stare in fascination at her claws, like glass cut to a sharp point - such a stark contrast to my onyx ones.

"Let me help you, Rhi," she says gently. "What else is bothering you?"

"The urges," I whisper, as though speaking of them any louder might summon them. "The hunger, it's back, and I don't know why."

Wilde's eyes widen in surprise. "Were you in any danger?"

"No. Both times it happened I was with my friend, Jesse. He's human. But both times I felt…"

"Aroused?" She offers.

"Yes," I reply, but something gives me pause. "Actually, just once I was. The second time he was kissing me, but I didn't want to be kissed. "

"Ah," she says, her tone implying she knows exactly why it's happening, and I pray to the gods she does. "This is a small regression, nothing more. It is also due to your trauma." She taps one of those clear claws against the middle of my chest. "The monster in you is also unaware there is no danger present, and is confusing your body's stimulation from your arousal with peril. As for the other incident, well, the Syclla did indeed sense a bit of danger, when you were forced into a situation you did not want to be in. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," I reply. The unease that had attached itself to my spine like a parasite withers.

"Though, I'm curious: how did you handle that situation?"

I press my lips together tightly, trepidation knocking against my skull on how this next statement is going to be perceived. "I almost bit his tongue off."

Those arched eyebrows shoot to her hairline. Wilde straightens and folds her arms across her chest and - there it is. That sharp smile. The one dipped in cruelty.

"That's my girl."