Chapter Forty-Two

"Open your eyes."

A voice drifts in my ears, one that sparks equal jolts of joy and pain. I ignore it, however, my head heavy and body aching as though I have shattered every bone.

"Open your eyes, little liar."

My heart leaps, prompting my eyes open. I sit up from the bed I don't recall being placed in, it's all white sheets and blanket a telltale sign I'm in the infirmary.

Too many things rush back into my mind at once, but the only thing I can focus on is the man sitting on the edge of the bed. Whole. Unscathed. Alive.

Nick wastes no time pressing his mouth to mine, and I kiss him as though I can't breathe without him. As though I might never get to kiss him again .

He finally pulls away, brushing his fingers along my cheeks to wipe away my tears.

"I don't have much time," he says, and that sends the hope and relief that had been building in my chest crashing down like a house of cards.

"Stay," I whisper, grasping his hand. "Please."

His eyes meet mine in despair. "You know I would. You know I would do anything to come back to you. But I can't."

I blink, sending more tears cascading down my face. He cups my cheeks, using his thumb to blot the tears. "I just wanted to see you one more time."

I nod before he pulls me back into him, melding his lips to mine, his kiss slow and adoring. "We didn't get our happy ending in this life, but I promise you, we will. I will find you again, in the next one."

A sob rips from my throat as his touch turns to nothing more than phantom caresses, and when my eyes open again, Nick is gone.

Two weeks after I've been cleared to return to classes, Talbot calls me into his office .

"Good afternoon, Professor." My voice is void of emotion, a greeting that would make Astrid proud. I sit down in the chair on the other side of his desk.

"After what we've been through, I think you can just call me Gene." Talbot forces a smile.

I shrug. Whatever he wants.

He clears his throat. "Are you sure you are ready to resume classes tomorrow?"

Another shrug. "The therapist said I should resume my normal routine, that it would keep me from ruminating."

"I am aware of what your therapist suggested, but is it what you want?"

What I want, no one can give me.

All I offer is another indifferent shrug.

"Give me something, Rhi. Apathy will not help you heal."

I scoff. "How do you suggest I heal, Professor? Tell me, did you ever have to watch someone you love die? Did you have your body torn apart to become something everyone fears?"

The thunderclouds in his eyes lighten. "No, to the first. Yes, to the second."

Intrigue drowns out my stubbornness. "Because you're a Titan."

"Half, just like you. "

"Have you always known about me?"

His mouth thins. "I had my suspicions."

"When?"

"When I couldn't discern your truth from your lies."

I look away from him, not bothering to ask why he didn't tell me. What's the point? Besides, his lies by omission are the least of my concerns.

"But I didn't know for sure," he continues.

"Whatever," I reply, still not meeting his eyes.

"Rhi," he says gently.

I keep my head turned.

Talbot sighs wearily. I hear the creak of leather from his chair before he stands in front of me, and I quickly avert my gaze downward.

"Why didn't you attend Nick's memorial?"

My eyelids burn, the way they always do when Nick's name is mentioned. I swallow roughly, digging tiny crescents into my palms to keep from crying in front of Talbot.

"Your friends were upset. Scarlett, especially."

I recall her reaming me out, her face stained with tears, as she asked why, if I loved her brother, I wouldn't show up to something commemorating him.

I didn't tell her that it's because I love him, that I didn't go. That I can't stand hearing anything regarding Nick mentioned in the past tense. When Scarlett had referred to my feelings for Nick as loved, I seethed. As if his death lessens the way I feel, or obliterates the fact that we are soulmates, a connection that transcends death, and I have to spend the rest of my life loving - present tense- a man who is no longer here, yearning for him as though I can reach out and touch him any time I wish.

"I can't do this," I whisper, feeling a tear escape. I place my hands on the arms of the chair and push myself up, turning fast on my heel to avoid meeting Talbot's gaze.

"Rhi, wait."

I pause with my hand on the doorknob, but I don't face him. He slips an envelope into my free hand.

"I found this on my desk once we returned that night, with instructions to give it to you, when you were ready."

The edges of the envelopes crumble beneath my fingers, and I turn the handle and walk out without saying another word.

I race back to my room, knowing I'll find solitude since Zo is out with B, and sit on my bed, holding the envelope with both hands.

My name in an elegant cursive graces the front of the envelope, and though I can't place the owner of the script, my heart falls in knowing it is not Nick's.

With shaking fingers, I tear open the envelope and pull out carefully folded stationery. I unfold the letter, eyes widening as I absorb the words scrawled upon the page.

Dear Rhi,

If you are reading this, it means my plan worked, and you are safe.

I will not again attempt to justify my actions. I don't expect you to take pity on me, but I do hope one day you will forgive me for my course of action and try to remember that I did my best to remedy my lapse in judgment.

Before I left the lab, I told you I should have chosen you, and I did. I informed Talbot and Cicero, as I knew they would not stop at nothing to come to your aid. I wish I could have stayed and righted my wrongs, but fear is a powerful drug, and there is nothing I fear more than my family. I would love nothing more than to reveal everything to you, but their identity and mine I must keep a secret in case this letter somehow falls into the wrong hands.

It is not likely we will ever see each other again, and though that may not bother you, please know it breaks my heart. I had never considered becoming a mother, but if I had, you would be the daughter I wished for .

There is one more thing I wish to say, something I know you need to hear even if you don't want to.

Nicholas was always going to die. Talbot, Cicero, and I were aware of his Prophecy, and he met with me often to speak about it. He spoke of nothing else the whole time other than his love for you, and how, despite his Fate, he only wished he could have found you sooner. Please do not blame yourself for his death. Everything unfolds the way it is meant to, and if you love him as much as I know he loved you, then not even death can keep you apart.

Take care of yourself.

Sara

The words bleed together as my tears smudge the dark ink. I place the letter by my side and wipe my face with the back of my hand.

Since Lyncus had revealed someone would betray me last year, I mulled over the identity of the betrayer for months. I had first thought it was Liv. Then it briefly moved to one of the girls. I hadn't considered Josh a betrayal, considering I barely knew the real Josh, and Jesse's deceit even paled to the gut-wrenching feeling when Wilde strode through those lab doors, all the pieces of the puzzle clicking in place.

Forgiveness is not something I have to give right now, nor do I care to dissect who Wilde and her dangerous family really are, so I fold the paper back up, slip it into the envelope, and shove it to the back of my desk.

A text from my mother has my phone chiming, checking in, asking if I'd like to come home for the remainder of the semester, which is only another month. I already have passes from my professors, so it's a possibility, one that becomes more enticing the longer I sit here.

The door opens then, and Zo pokes her head in, eyes widening when they see me.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I can come back-"

"Come in, Zo," I say, forcing a smile.

She nods and steps into the room. She pauses between her bed and mine, gaze swiveling between the two, before she flops down next to me and throws her arms around my middle.

"I've got you, Rhi."

"I know." I hug her back. "I've got you, too."

Zo pulls away. "Are you ok?"

"No," I admit, blowing out a breath. "I'm not at all."

She nods, her eyes glassy. "What do you need, Rhi?"

"I'm going to go home for the rest of the semester. Everything here reminds me of him." I choke on the last word .

Zo places her hand on my shoulder. "Whatever you need. I'll be here."

"We all will," Astrid chimes.

I lift my head. Astrid, B and Scar come in, with Astrid and B taking a seat on Zo's bed. Scar stands in front of me, dark circles bruising the skin underneath her still-puffy eyes. She flings her arms around me, and I exhale sharply as I hug her back.

"I'm sorry, Rhi." Her voice cracks. "I just don't know what to do without him."

"I know," I sniff, squeezing her tighter.

Scar pulls back, running the back of her hand under her nose. "He was a really good big brother."

We all break down crying at that, and I have to remember Astrid, Zo, and even B have known Nick since their early days at Alystair Academy, the high school. Nick was like a brother to Astrid and Zo, and B always respected him and considered him a friend.

The only difference is, they all can find solace in the arms of their loved ones, something I note is happening right now, as Scar cuddles next to Astrid, the Gorgon wrapping her in a tight embrace now that she has gloves.

B stares at Zo longingly, the latter returning the affection playfully by winking at her.

At the risk of suffocating beneath my overwhelming anguish, I iterate my plans to return home.

"Can we come see you for Christmas?" Zo asks.

"Of course."

I spend the rest of the afternoon with the girls, finally shooting my parents a text that I'm ready to go home. I swear the hallways of Northgate sigh as I walk towards the exit, as if to say, " we'll miss you."

And even though I know I need the space, know I need time to gather my bearings and mourn Nick on my own, I'd be lying if I say I won't miss Alystair.

So I whisper, "I'll miss you too," as the doors close behind me.

My parents are silent as we pull onto our street, neither of them uttering a word as we pass Jesse's house. The shades are drawn and no lights flicker in the twilight. It appears a ghost of a residence, no evidence an entire family once lived there.

In the aftermath of the subway attack, Talbot and Cicero planted explosives to expose the underground subway station and all of TriTech's illicit dealings. Of course, they spun it in a way that the company was creating illegal bioweapons, leaving out the mention of experiments, never mind throwing monsters into the mix.

The company fell swiftly after documents surfaced proving its involvement in all sorts of underground activities, enough to make nausea churn in my stomach. Jesse was ruled dead, having been caught in the explosion caused by a lab experiment gone awry. His mother packed up everything, took his younger brother, and left town. Whether she is another demigod is something I'll always have to wonder, or if she even knew the extent of Jesse's fascination with me. If she is aware, then I'll always have to look over one shoulder, anticipating the day Jesse's family comes to exact their revenge.

Then again, I'm arguably the most feared and revered monster of our myth, so I'll probably be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.

My parents were informed I'd gotten into an accident, the story woven to tell the heroic tale of how Nick saved my life by jumping in front of a speeding cab driver, sacrificing himself. There's a sliver of truth to it, if grossly underplayed. No one aside from the girls, Cicero, and Talbot knows the extent Nick sacrificed himself for me, and only I alone know the extent he sacrificed himself even before he gave up his life.

So, my parents are painfully aware of why I'm withdrawn and why I want to spend the rest of the semester at home, sequestered in my room, which is exactly how I started the semester.

Fitting.

I lie awake in my bed, silently crying. Tears just spill and spill, culminating on my pillow, and I don't wipe them away.

"So, the monster can feel, after all."

There was a time when that voice seized my heart in fear. Now, all it does is evoke a familiar rage, one I'm determined not to slip into lest Scylla makes another appearance.

I sit up, facing the sisters of Fate.

"Do you remember what I said the last time we saw each other?"

Atropos arches a silvery brow. "As if I have time to recall the ramblings of a half-breed."

Lachesis and Clotho don't appear to share their sister's blatant disregard. In fact, they seem on edge. I would even go as far as to say frightened. My lips take on a decidedly sinister slant.

Within the flicker of a heartbeat, my hands grip Atropos's throat. She raises her sheers, but I'm faster, knocking them from her fingers. I've found that ever since becoming Scylla, my reflexes have increased tenfold.

So has my propensity for anger.

"I told you," I hiss, tightening my hold. I already see red marks blooming beneath my fingertips. "I will tear all three of you apart and feast on your fucking screams. I will burn this world, this whole realm, to the fucking ground. I will destroy everything if you take him from me."

The Cutter claws at my wrists, her eyes frantic as she looks to her sisters for help.

"Don't look at them," I spit. "We had a fucking deal. And he is gone ."

"That's why we are here," she croaks .

I tilt my head in an entirely avian matter. "To tell me more lies?"

"No, Rhiannon." Clotho steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder. I snap my attention to the blue-eyed Fate. "No more lies."

"Let her go, Rhiannon," Lachesis soothes, stepping to my other side. "And we will tell you how you can get Nicholas back."

I splay my fingers wide, and Atropos falls to the floor. She scrambles for her shears, but I pay her no mind. I instead focus on her two sisters and the information they owe me.

"What do you mean, ‘get him back?'" I shake my head. "I watched him die. I have no interest in resurrecting him." The idea of pulling him from the afterlife is both immoral and cruel. Our kind is said to dwell in peace in a place called Elysium, and I would never rip him from that peace, no matter how much I break and crumble without him.

"This is not resurrection, Rhiannon," Clotho replies.

"No? Then what would you call it?"

Atropos narrows her nitrate eyes. "He is not dead."

I approach her again, venom pooling in my mouth. "I felt his final breath leave his chest. Do not fuck with me, Atropos."

"Rhiannon," Lachesis says, exasperated. "You watched the death of his mortal shell. He is the King of Hell, remember? The only way for him to take his rightful place on the Throne of Hell is to sever his ties with the mortal realm."

"Which he did when you killed him," Atropos says bluntly.

My mouth parts. I knew the terms behind Nick taking the Throne, but I never quite understood them. Never quite understood how he could literally die, yet somehow live elsewhere.

"When you agreed to our Bargain, I told you that there are many ways to live," Atropos reminds.

I raise my brows, trying to rein in the tumultuous emotions catapulting inside me. Confusion. Anger. Joy.

Nick is alive.

"We never reneged on our end of the Bargain," Clotho explains.

I snort. "Semantics."

"There is one more thing," Lachesis says.

Atropos steps toward me, a familiar necklace dangling from her fingertips. "I believe this is yours."

My fingers lightly brush the pendant, my mouth suspended in disbelief that after everything, it's once again in my possession. I take it from the Cutter, sweeping my thumb over the three gems. It thrums with power and protection, and my heart swells that I have another piece of Nick with me.

Still, suspicion edges my optimism. "Why are you returning this?"

Clotho raises her brows. "If you want to get Nick back, you're going to need it."

"How do I get him back?" Eagerness bleeds into my tone.

Atropos flashes me a cruel smile. "You have to go to Hell."