31. Bree

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I fussover Paige for a bit, offering her food and water, but she shakes her head.

"I just want to go back to bed." Her voice wobbles.

"Do you want to be alone?" Lara asks.

"God, no."

I follow them up the stairs and help Lara tuck her in, but I don't stay. I'm not sure Paige wants me there, given that it was my father who nearly had her kidnapped.

She is hurt. Her eye is swollen and dark purple and I could just throw up thinking this is all my fault somehow.

I go into the guest bedroom, which is fairly empty but has become my home over the last couple of days, and I sit down hard on the bed.

My head is spinning.

My father has just shot Jimmy, nearly kidnapped Paige, and now the Burkes want his head on a pike. I can't blame them. I can't even be upset about it. It's what he deserves.

There is nothing left inside me when I think about him, no warm feeling, no tenderness, no love. Nothing but this disgust of sharing blood with a monster.

I wish I could get ahold of Rory. Maybe he'd know what to do.

Right now, I don't know if I should stay or go. Declan doesn't want me here. The rest of the Burkes are shaken up by my father's actions.

Maybe I should just cut my losses and go. I'm a daily reminder of all that is wrong and all the bad things that happen to them.

I should ask Patrick. I'm sure by now he'd just let me go.

Yes, that's exactly what I do.

I stand up and head for the door.

When I'm halfway there, someone opens the door.

Declan is standing there, his face blank.

We stare at each other for a few beats. We haven't talked since that last fight, and he's the last person I expected to come and see me.

"I'm so glad Paige is okay," I whisper.

"Jimmy's not," he barks.

"Declan, I had no idea that he'd go after Paige, I swear to you?—"

Declan holds up a hand to stop me. "I know that. This isn't on you, but I have other things to say to you."

I swallow hard, wondering if he's here to tell me to get out. I stiffen, ready to go if he wants me to. I don't want to stay where I'm not wanted. I don't deserve to be here, anyway, with my filthy Murphy blood.

Declan said himself I mean nothing to him.

"I can understand why you did what you did," he says quietly, looking down at me.

I keep eye contact even though tears well in my eyes.

"And I was wrong for some of the things I said. Hell, for a lot of the things I said."

What is going on right now?

I just nod. I don't know what to do. What to say.

I'll make his life easier. If he wants me out, this is his cue. "You said I mean nothing to you."

Declan sighs heavily, running a hand through his already messy hair. His shirt is covered in blood. Is any of it his? Is he hurt again?

I clench my fists, forcing myself to stay still, no not touch him and reassure myself he is okay, he is not hurt.

"That was maybe the biggest lie I ever told."

What?

"Declan," I start, but he lets out a long breath.

"Let me finish. I'm sorry for the things I said. I'm sorry for attacking you the way I did."

Is he.... apologizing? To me?

I never thought this would happen. I thought he'd hate me forever, and part of me wants to go to him, throw myself into his arms. Part of me wants to tell him I love him, and I always will, but another part of me is still angry. Prideful. Hurt.

"And I understand if you want to leave, to go back to your father. I won't stop you."

My breath is stuck in my chest.

"Is… Is that what you want?" I whisper.

Declan scoffs. "Of course not. It'll break my heart to do it, Bree. But I will if that's what you want. I want you to be happy. Even if it's without me."

I can't stop myself, flinging myself at him, and he catches me, chuckling slightly as he stumbles backward.

"I thought you'd hate me forever," I breathe. "I thought I ruined everything."

"I could never hate you," he murmurs, brushing his nose against mine. "I love you, Bree Murphy."

"Bree Burke," I correct, and kiss him.

Declan's the first to pull away, looking down at me. "You didn't say it back." His breath is labored. "Does that mean you don't?—"

"No!" I exclaim.

His face falls.

I wrap my arms around his neck. "I'm so madly in love with you I can't see straight, Declan Burke."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

A grin spreads across his handsome face, and he kisses me again, this time more insistently.

He pushes me down on the bed, covering me with his body, and I can't seem to stop talking.

"I promise I'll never betray you again, Declan. Never."

He murmurs a response against my neck, kissing me there, but I keep going. Babbling, at this point, but I can't help it.

"I'll be a Burke as long as you'll have me."

"Forever," he growls, and kisses my throat, leaving marks there that will sting later.

I don't care. I want him to mark me everywhere, mark me his.

I'm still wearing the shorts set that Lara gave me, and he pushes it to the side, shoving down his slacks over his ass to free his erection.

Declan presses into me, and I cry out against his mouth as he kisses me again.

When he's inside me to the hilt, he kisses the tip of my nose.

"I love you, Bree Burke," he says in a low tone, and I can't help but grin.

"I love you, Declan Burke."

I can't believe we've come this far.

Declan starts to move his hips, and I moan, arching my back, locking my ankles around the small of his back to bring him deeper.

I roll my hips, meeting him with every thrust, and he kisses me over and over until I'm breathless.

It's only a few thrusts before I'm coming around him, chanting his name.

Declan curses when he spills inside me, pulling back to look at me.

"I"m still kind of mad at you," he admits, but he kisses my nose, my chin.

I laugh. "That's okay, baby. Lara and Paige say you're a hothead, but you don't hold grudges."

"Oh, I hold grudges. But not against you. I don't think I could ever hold a grudge against you."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you." He shrugs, and my heart feels so full it could burst.

I grin, the smile hurting my cheeks. "I love you, too, Declan."

"You're a Burke now, right?"

"Right."

"Forever?"

"Forever," I promise, and he kisses me, leaving me no doubt about his feelings, and starts to rock inside me again.

He bites down on my neck when he comes this time, and I love the sting, the pain and pleasure that rushes through my body.

I giggle, and nothing can break this moment, nothing can take us away from this love bubble where it is just the two of us—until Declan's phone rings.

He answers, barking into the phone, and listens. His face is expressionless, blank.

"All right." He hangs up the phone.

His brow furrows when he looks at me.

"What is it? Is it Jimmy?"

He nods and then a grin breaks out across his face. "He's going to be okay. He woke up asking for food."

He chuckles, and I smile, sitting up on my knees to hug him from behind.

We don't leave the bedroom for nearly two days.

When I finally emerge from the room, it's to run downstairs and get something to eat. We're both starving, and Declan says he can't go again until he gets sustenance, so I must grab some food.

Lara is downstairs, eating by herself. It's nearly lunch time, so Marisol has prepared some soup and sandwiches.

I grin at her, and she grins back.

"I guess you and Declan made up?"

I grin. "You could say that."

"It was either that or you killed each other," she chuckles, and I can't help but laugh.

"Nothing like that, I promise. Everything's okay. We're going to be okay."

"All of us will be," she says quietly and stands up to hug me. She sniffs me, grimacing. "You and Declan need to shower. You smell like sex."

"Gross," Paige pipes up, walking into the room.

The marks of the attack are still there but she is better.

I smile sheepishly, saluting them.

"Noted."

I take the soup and sandwiches up to Declan on a tray, and he gulps down one of the water bottles before eating and pulling me back into bed.

"We're eventually going to have to leave this room, you know?"

He frowns. "No. I don't want to."

I laugh. "You sound like a little kid."

"I feel like a teenager. It's like... being sixteen all over again."

"I was never in love at sixteen." I shrug.

"Me, either. I guess this is just what I imagine it feels like."

He kisses my temple.

"We should shower and go down to dinner later. I think your family misses you."

"Miss you, more likely," he snorts. "They like you better than me, you know?"

I laugh. "Who wouldn't?"

He bites down on my shoulder playfully, and I start to undress, just wearing one of his button-up shirts. Declan looks at me, his blue eyes dark with lust.

He grabs at me, but I dart away.

"I need to eat," I state. "And then we need to shower."

He grins. "We're just going to get dirty again anyway."

I snort out a laugh and sit down, cross-legged and nude, shoving bites of sandwich and soup into my mouth.

He looks at me as if I am one of the most enthralling shows ever until I'm finished, and then I tug him up, leading him to the shower.

Before I even get the water heated up, he has his fingers inside me where I've bent over to turn on the faucet, and I cry out, arching my back.

"Get in the shower," I breathe, and Declan pops his fingers out of me, putting them in his mouth and sucking slowly.

"Yes, ma'am," he drawls, and I glare at him but there's no heat behind it.

"You're a menace."

"The Irish scourge," he jokes, and I laugh out loud, feeling lighter and freer than I ever have.

I sober, thinking about my father. "You know that this isn't over."

"What isn't over?"

"The war between the Murphys and the Burkes."

He sighs. "I know."

"For a while there, part of me hoped that this marriage would ease things between you," I admit, tears springing to my eyes. "Part of me hoped my father would come around."

His face serious now instead of lustful, he draws me into his arms. "Everything's going to be okay, a ghra mo chroi. I promise you."

"How can you know that?" I look up into his blue eyes.

"I just do," he says softly, and he kisses me so gently I feel my heart swelling with love for him.

"You called me that before. What does it mean?"

"Love of my heart."

He washes my hair and I finger over the scar from his bullet wound.

"Hey," he whispers against my neck after rinsing my hair.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to get married again? Do this for real?"

I twist my head to look at him, surprised. "What? You'd do that?"

He shrugs. "You can't exactly invite your father, but..."

"I don't need another wedding," I blurt out, thinking about my dream. The dream where I lost him. "I don't need anything but you."

Declan still pouts, but I kiss him, pushing the thoughts of a real wedding out of my head.

I don't need it. I don't want a repeat of my dream, after all, don't want Declan slipping away from me.

By the time dinner rolls around, we're more than clean. In fact my fingertips look like prunes. We walk down to dinner, and Patrick grins at us.

"Didn't think you two would ever come out of the bedroom."

Gray snorts out a laugh, smiling at Declan, and Paige gestures me over to sit between her and Lara.

I go, lingering on holding Declan's hand as long as I can. His fingers slip from mine, and I feel a bit of panic, remembering that dream.

Was it a prophetic one?

I hope that I only dreamed it because I was worried about Declan hating me, but I can't be sure.

"Are we having another wedding?" Paige asks, and I shake my head fiercely.

Declan sighs. "She says no."

"But another wedding would be fun!" Paige insists, pouting at me just like her brother did. They look oddly alike in that moment, and I blink at her, really looking at her. She has dark circles under her eyes and looks drained.

Has she been sleeping? Eating?

"Maybe someday," I mumble. "But not now."

"You"re no fun." Declan says the words, but he's smiling at me. He glances over at Patrick. "Jimmy's going to be okay."

"I know." Patrick nods. "Doc called me a couple of days ago."

Declan looks surprised. "Have we really been holed up that long?"

Gray laughs. "You sure have. What were you doing in there?"

"Playing checkers," I answer matter-of-factly, and the table bursts out into laughter.

There's always laughter at the Burke dining room table. There's always fun and crazy stories, and it's like what I always imagined a real family to be like.

As much as I'd told myself it was okay, I never felt that way with my father. And now that I know who he is, I want to find out more.

Like what really happened to my mother. What had she done to deserve such a fate?

I go silent as I think about it, and it's Lara who puts her hand on my knee to get my attention.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I sigh, looking over at Patrick. "When I talked to my father last?—"

Declan stares at me, shocked, and I reach out and take his hand.

"I let her call him," Patrick says.

Declan visibly relaxes, but my heart aches. It may take some time for him to trust me again, and I can't blame him.

"I have reason to believe he did something to my mother," I whisper. "I don't know what it was. I don't know if he hurt her or—" My voice cracks, and Declan squeezes my hand.

"We'll find out," he promises. "We'll do some research."

I know that "research" probably means interrogating a few of my father's men, but so be it.

Patrick speaks up. "We'll do whatever we can for you, a'stor. You just say the word."

I smile at him. "Thank you. Thank all of you, for accepting me as a Burke. For showing me the way."

"Thank you for proving not all the Murphys are snakes. Gray chuckles.

"I may have a little snake in me," I joke. "But it's like a garden snake. Not a cottonmouth."

Declan laughs at that, and we continue dinner.

It's not silent, or awkward. It's wonderful, like every dinner with the Burkes.

After it's over, Declan leads me upstairs as I'm saying goodbye to everyone.

Lara frowns at him. "You'll have to eventually give her up for a girls' night, you know?"

"I'm not giving her up for anything," he growls, and I nudge him with my shoulder.

"One night a month for a girls' night," I insist. "We can't be around each other every moment. You'll have to work."

"I guess," he grumbles and all but drags me up the stairs.

I undress, letting my clothes fall to the floor, and climb into bed, exhausted and sore all over, bruises on my thighs and my hip bones.

"I hope you don't think I'm going to let you sleep."

I groan. "You have to. We've barely slept in days."

Declan looks serious, but then his jaw cracks in a yawn. "Maybe you're right."

"I'm always right," I say, and he snorts, climbing into bed with me after undressing.

Declan draws me into his arms, pulling me close and kissing the side of my face.

"You're mine now," he mumbles. "Body and soul."

"And heart, too," I point out, and he smiles against my lips as I turn my head to kiss him.

I'm happier than I ever have been,

I've come a long way from where I started, and I'm so glad this is where the journey brought me.

Home, lying in the arms of the man I love. My father's enemy.