3. Raven

3

RAVEN

I need a project.

I have an idea of what I would like it to be. I would love my brothers' involvement, but they're clearly occupied with something else. Something they won't discuss with me.

So I decide to call my sister, Robin.

Robin and I are twins—fraternal, not identical—but we do look similar. Of course, it's easier to tell us apart now because she has gorgeous long dark hair.

And I don't.

Robin lives on the Bellamy land. She and I both have our own places, but I've been staying at the main house with Mom and Dad since I've been home for my recovery. I'm hoping it's only a few more days before I can move back to my own place.

Robin is a veterinarian, and she works here on the ranch. It's a weekday and she's no doubt busy, but I decide to call her anyway.

"Hey, sis," she says when she answers the phone.

"Hey, Robbie. I need your help."

"Sure. What do you need?"

"I need a project. I think I'd like to give back to the cancer community."

"Hold on a minute, Ray. You're still technically part of the cancer community. You need your rest. Falcon's bone marrow may have saved your life, but you're still in recovery. Have you forgotten that you left the hospital against medical advice?"

"It wasn't exactly against medical advice. They saw that the bone marrow was working, but they wanted me to stay there for observation. I was sick and tired of that fucking hospital bed, Robin. So I came home. And since I've been home, I've continued to thrive."

"Except for those few days when you contracted a virus and Mom and Dad had to run you back to the hospital."

"And it turned out to be only a virus. I'm fine. I'm healing." As I say this I realize my voice is raised. I take a deep breath and attempt to reel it back in. "I'm just so sick of hospitals."

"I understand that."

I can't help rolling my eyes. Robin says she understands. They all do. But in truth, none of them understand. They haven't lived it.

I won't say that to my sister though. She means well. Plus, I called to get her help.

"Don't worry. Mom is watching me like a hawk. And Falcon hardly leaves my side, despite the fact that he's newly engaged and should be at his own place with his fiancée. I'm fine. I need something to occupy my brain since Mom and Dad won't let me do any work around the ranch."

"All right. What did you have in mind?"

"I'd like to start a nonprofit organization. Something to benefit the research of blood cancers."

"Okay. That's a noble calling, Ray, but I can't help you with that. If it doesn't involve healing animals, I'm not your girl. I don't know anything about that kind of stuff."

"I don't either. We'll both be starting from scratch. I'll use my trust fund to set it up."

"Okay. I'll be happy to kick in as well. I think it's a great cause. But other than financially, I'm not sure how I can benefit you."

"I just need your support, Robin. I'm home with nothing else to do, so I can do the research. But I want to know you're behind me. You're my twin. I want you to be my partner in this."

Silence for a moment, until?—

"I'm really touched, Ray. Truly."

"Who else would I ask?"

Robin doesn't answer. I can see why she's confused. She was always more like a brother than a sister to me. She matched the boys on everything they did around the ranch, while I was a little softer and gentler. Oh, I learned my way around the ranch. I can ride a horse with the best of them. But I'm happier at home, hanging out with Mom, learning to cook and make a home the way she does.

"I just want you involved, Robin. I'm hoping it'll bring us closer. One thing I learned when I was sick is that I don't ever want to take you or my brothers for granted again."

"You never did that."

But Robin is wrong. I lived my own life, separate from my sister and brothers. I chose a life different from what they chose. I was ready to leave the ranch behind. But no longer. Here is where I belong, and I want to get closer to my sister. After all, we shared the same space for nine months.

"Thanks for saying that," I tell my sister. "I appreciate it."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself, Raven."

Again, my sister means well, but she doesn't get it. When you survive cancer, you see the world differently. You appreciate every little thing, all the nuances. That includes the members of your own family. I appreciate them in a way that they probably don't appreciate me. Not to say that they aren't all thrilled that I'm still with them. I get that. I totally do. But they're not the ones who almost bit the big one. That's me. Now that I'm here and I have a high chance of living to a ripe old age, I want to spend time with my family. Truly get to know them. And as much as I love my brothers, I need to start with my twin sister.

"I'm not trying to be hard on myself," I say. "But I feel a need to do this. And I want you involved."

"I'll do whatever I can for you. You can have a big infusion from my trust fund to get you started. But I don't know that I can be of any other help. Work has been crazy lately, and?—"

I hold back a sigh. Well, I tried. "No worries, Robin."

Another pause.

Finally, "You know what? Let's do it. What about the guys?"

Happiness surges into me. "They can certainly be involved if they want to."

I don't mention to Robin that they're keeping secrets from me. They're probably keeping them from her as well. And unlike me, she would go barreling into them and demand to know what's going on.

For their sake, I don't want that.

"Okay," she says. "Sounds great. Just let me know what you need."

"Thanks. I'm going to do some simple research on how to set up a nonprofit. That's the easy part. Our lawyers can do it quickly. Then I'll need to start figuring out how to fill our coffers, and then figure out who to give the money to."

"You could set up a grant," she says. "Organizations could apply for the money."

"Yeah, I'm sure we could do that. But honestly, I'd like for the money to go to actual people. People who need treatment but can't afford it. Or research facilities."

"Yeah. I bet Dad has an attorney who can help you with all of that."

"I agree. And I want you sitting on the Board of Directors with me."

She laughs lightly. "All right, Raven. I'd be honored."

"Thanks Robbie. Talk to you soon."

"Yeah. I'll be over this weekend to see you."

After I end the call, I find my mother.

"Mom, is Dad around?"

"Yeah, he's home today." She gestures down the hall. "He's in his office."

"Great." I walk through the large ranch house to the hallway that houses my father's office. I knock on the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Daddy. Raven."

"Come on in, sweetheart."

I open the door. My father sits behind his desk, his eyes on his computer screen. He smiles when I walk in. Everyone smiles at me now. And I have to say I don't hate it.

"Daddy, I need your help."

"With what?"

"I need a project. I want to start a nonprofit organization to benefit the research and treatment of blood cancers."

Dad leans back in his chair. "That's a big undertaking, Raven."

"Yes, but I want to do it." I cross the study toward his desk and take a seat across from him. "I can't just sit around here doing nothing. I want to give back. I have a second lease on life, and I don't want to waste it. I realize I'm one of the lucky ones. If it weren't for Falcon's bone marrow?—"

Dad holds up a hand. "Let's not go there, baby girl. It's over, thank God. You're going to live, and we need to just be grateful for that."

"I am grateful, Daddy. Falcon is sick and tired of me thanking him. But my point is that it did happen. And without Falcon… Well, we all know what would've happened. What about the people who weren't so lucky? What about the people who don't ever get a match? Or what about those who do find a match, but they die anyway? I want to help them all. I have the resources, and I want to do it. I just need you to point me in the right direction."

"I have no idea how to set up a nonprofit organization."

"I know you don't. But you have attorneys, Daddy."

"Land-use attorneys. Contract attorneys."

"You don't think any of them have a partner who might know what he's doing?"

Dad chuckles. "Of course. I'll find somebody for you, sweetheart." His face stiffens. "Are you sure you want to take this on? You're still in recovery."

"Yes, I'm sure. I just heard the same song and dance from Robin, but I need something to do. I've consented to stay here with you and Mom while I recover. But quite frankly, I've binge-watched just about all the Netflix I can stand."

"You could catch up on your reading."

"Trust me, I have. And I'll continue to do so. But I'd like to use my brain for something. For something to give back to the medical community. To give back in gratitude for my second chance."

Dad smiles. "I'm not sure I've ever been prouder of you, Raven." Then he frowns. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Why?"

"Because I was most proud of you to see the fight in you when you were sick. The internal strength you had. I'm not sure I could've fought the way you did."

I don't believe my father for a minute. He's the strongest man I know.

Except maybe for Falcon. Falcon, who spent eight years in prison. I was always convinced he wasn't guilty, and according to the conversation I overheard between him and our brothers, I was right.

"I'm glad you're proud of me, no matter the reason."

"I sure am, baby girl. I'll get the name of an attorney for you. It will get this whole process started if you're sure it's what you want."

"I'm sure."

I turn around, ready to leave my father, but then I look over my shoulder. "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby girl."

I close the door behind me and leave my father's office.

He's always called me baby girl. Even though I'm twenty-nine years old. Funny that he's never called Robin that. Robin was more like his fourth son than his daughter.

I head to my bedroom to fire up my laptop.

And I see an email that makes me drop my jaw.