40. Kael

40

KAEL

Our ride to All Saints seems never-ending.

When she isn't moaning or screaming, she's fading in and out of conscience.

Each little whimper out of her makes me want to go back and kill those feckers all over again.

We arrive at the hospital, and fear clogs in my throat as I pull up at the emergency doors.

I pull her out, screaming for a doctor, and nurses come running out with a gurney, I lay her carefully on it, and she screams.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

They rush her inside.

One of the nurses stays behind. "What happened?"

My eyes stay on Paige as she's being wheeled in. "She was beat up, I don't know what else they did to her." I look at the nurse. "Please, she needs to be okay."

She nods at me and runs inside.

My heart beats too loud in my ears as they take her back quickly.

I grit my teeth .

The way she was hurting, how she was still fighting when I found her is a miracle.

If I hadn't killed the feckers already, I would kill them a thousand times over after months of agonizing torture for what they did to her.

"Are you family?" a small nurse asks, looking up at me.

They won't tell me anything if I say the truth, right?

"Her husband. Kael Smith."

Okay, I'm clearly possessed, because what would make me say that? Except for the fact that I wish I could be.

"Mr. Smith, we'll do everything we can."

"Thank you."

She nods, scribbling something down, and runs to the back.

I sit down heavily in the waiting room, wanting them to take care of her.

For hours, I fume, I wait, I despair, pacing around the room.

"Smith?"

Feck. I've forgotten to text Declan and Gray. They're going to be furious.

But all I care about now is Paige. I stand in front of the doctor.

"She's going to be okay."

I choke back a sob. "Are you sure?"

"She should recover, although she's going to need a lot of rest and a back brace. She's got a hairline fracture on her vertebra, a lot of bruises, and a couple of broken ribs."

"Jesus."

"You're lucky you got to her when you did. She nearly had a collapsed lung from one of the ribs, but we were able to set them."

"Can I see her? "

The doctor nods. "She may be a little out of it. We gave her pain medication."

I nod, uncaring, and follow the doctor, trying not to overtake his slow stride.

Paige is sitting up in her back brace, looking awful, when I walk in. They were able to unglue one of her swollen eyes and the glassy green is focused on me.

"Kael." Her voice comes out so raspy I wonder if it hurts to talk.

"Paige. Princess."

I want to sweep her up into my arms, but I'm also afraid to touch her, afraid she'll break.

How had they hurt her this badly in just a few hours?

Murphy's men are brutal, but this is ridiculous.

"Can I please hold your hand or have you touch me?" she croaks. "I need to make sure this is really you, and that I'm really alive."

I lean down to kiss the crown of her head, putting my hands on her shoulders.

She tilts her chin up. "Kael." She clears her throat. "I need to tell you something."

"That can wait, Paige, you need to rest?—"

"No, this is important. I waited long enough. Please."

"Okay, sweetheart, what's so important that it can't wait?"

She reaches for my hand, squeezing it. "I love you. I'm in love with you."

I stare down at her. "Wh-what?"

Is it the pain medication talking? Is it because I saved her?

"I'm in love with you, Kael. I should've told you before."

My heart does something weird in my chest, but I can't let myself bask in it. Even if it is the truth, we're not meant to be. Are we? I want to keep her so much, but…

"Paige," I start, and then tears start to burn at the backs of my eyes. I'm trembling all over. I don't cry. I don't. "You shouldn't love me."

I'm not worthy, not good enough. I want her love so bad, To be the man she chooses so bad. To be hers.

She's got only one eye visible, but I swear she's glaring at me.

"Too bad. I do." She lowers her eyes to my chest. "Do you think you can ever love me back?"

"Princess…" I tear my eyes away from her. "That doesn't matter."

"Of course, it matters." She huffs. "It's the only thing that does. Needing to tell you and the need to know was what got me through that—that…"

"But, sweetheart… I don't even know where I stand anymore. Your brothers?—"

"I don't give a fuck about my brothers. All I care about is you, Kael." Her eyes are pools as tears gather on them. "Please. I need to know. Can you ever love me?"

"Princess—"

"You can't, can you?" Her head falls back, and she looks to the ceiling. "That's okay. I just needed to know."

"You got it all wrong." I hold her hand, squeezing it.

Her head turns to me as a tear rolls down the side of her face.

"That's okay, I understand." She smiles, but the misery there crushes me.

I don't care that I'm not good enough. All I care is that she always has a true smile on her face. Not this. Never this.

I catch her runaway tear with my thumb. "You got it wrong because it's not a case of if I can love you. I already do. I love you more than my own life, princess." The dam breaks, and all that's inside me overflows, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I wanted to tell you. I was going to tell you. But then all of this happened, and I still wanted to protect you. I didn't want you to have a hard time from your brothers, so I left. But I wanted to stay and fight for you so bad."

"I never wanted you to leave. I don't care what my brothers say. I have my own life, my own place. I choose how to live and who I want in my life." She smiles, wincing as she does. "Now kiss me, you idiot."

"I don't want to hurt you, princess."

She reaches up, cupping my face, and pulls me down to her mouth.

I kiss her gently, but she slides her tongue into my mouth despite what must surely be a lot of pain, and I taste blood on her tongue.

I don't care. It doesn't matter.

What matters is Paige Burke is alive, and she loves me. That's all that will ever matter. Paige is right about that.

After I break apart, I press my forehead against hers. "I never thought I deserved a happy ending."

"Why not, Kael? You're such a good guy."

"I wasn't always. I did some bad things before Patrick took me under his wing. Worked for some bad people."

Her eye widens but I shake my head.

"Never Murphy. I wasn't that stupid. But guys who were wrapped up in hard drugs, prostitution. I did plenty of drugs, was with plenty of women. I didn't deserve happiness then."

"But you do now." Her eyes are staring into my soul. "You're loyal and kind and smart?—"

I chuckle. "Stop saying such nice things about me. You'll forget you hated me a few weeks ago. "

"I never hated you."

My eyes widen. "That's news to me."

"I was just always mad that I was attracted to you." She pouts, and I laugh out loud.

"Maybe I was, too." I stroke her matted hair. "And now I don't have to fight my feelings anymore."

She smiles and kisses me again. "I love you."

I beam at her. "I love you too. God, it feels so good to be able to say that."

"It really does." She giggles, but it changes to a groan.

"Doc says I have a concussion, three broken ribs, and a broken spine. But he didn't say I had to be stuck in this bed." She bats her eyelashes. "Do you think he'll let me go and see Da? I'll stay in my wheelchair."

"I'll go and ask." Though the last thing I want is to leave her side, I drop my hand from her hair. I walk out to find a nurse.

She looks up at me, seemingly annoyed.

"Sorry." I turn on my most charming, hundred-watt smile. "My wife, you see, she was in an accident. Mrs. Smith?"

The nurse narrows her eyes at me but nods.

"We were wondering if we could go down the hall and see her father. He's in ICU, too, from an unrelated accident."

"A gunshot."

I blink at her.

"I know the Smiths . Everyone around here knows them."

"You may think they're criminals," I murmur. "But they still deserve to be family. You have to let her see him."

The nurse looks back behind her, as if to check if someone else is standing there. Seeing no one, she nods toward a wheelchair in the hall.

"If you take that and the patient, I'm sure no one will see you," she whispers. "I'll make it my business that no one does."

I sigh. "Thank you."

I take the wheelchair and wheel it into Paige's room, helping her into it.

She winces as I start to push it.

We only make it as far as the door before Declan and Gray burst in.

Great.