19. Paige

19

PAIGE

He's dragging me by my hair, and the sting makes me cry out.

I scratch his hands, bite at his forearms, anywhere I can reach. I'm fighting for my life, and I know it.

If he gets me into that van ? —

He slides the door open, and I scream, kicking and searching for Declan, for Gray, for Jimmy, for anyone who can save me.

Then, suddenly, I'm in Kael's arms.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I've got you."

I wake up shivering, and with my head pressed against a firm surface. It takes me a long moment to realize Kael is in my bed, has pulled me into his arms.

"What are you doing?" My heart is trying to leap out of my chest. "What happened."

"Shh." He kisses the crown of my head. "It's all right, sweetheart. I've got you."

That's what he said in my dream.

I should pull away but instead, I relax against him, feeling warm and safe .

Kael rubs my bare arms and pulls the duvet over us, probably because I'm trembling and have goosebumps all over my skin.

"Just sleep."

I lean against his chest as he sits back against the wall. "I'll keep you safe."

I turn over, and Kael puts his arm around my waist, pulling me close.

I shift to try to get more comfortable, and Kael takes in a sharp breath. I look up at him.

"You okay?"

"Just don't...wiggle like that."

"Like this?" I shift again.

Kael groans low in his throat. "If you don't want me poking you all night, don't do that."

I grin. I can't believe that I'm the cause of an erection. I mean, he had one when I humped his leg, but I wondered if that was a fluke. It makes me feel oddly proud in a way, like victorious.

"What are you going to do about it?" I grin, wiggling against him again, and Kael growls and pulls me closer.

I squeak, feeling him hard and thick against my ass. I arch my back, and Kael bites down on my neck until I moan.

The sting feels so good.

"Don't try me, little girl."

I huff out a breath and settle down, exhausted. "I'll be good."

"Likely story." He pauses. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No," I blurt out, intertwining my fingers with his over my waist. "Stay. Just until I fall asleep."

He murmurs an agreement and settles against me, his breath hot against my neck .

As I fade into a blissfully dreamless sleep, I wonder how I'm going to navigate all this.

Kael isn't the guy I thought he was.

It's been a week since I had that dream that brought Kael to my bed. I've been doing my best to stay awake ever since.

I don't need him thinking he needs to baby me anymore than he already does.

My eyes are heavy, but I'm afraid to go to sleep. I hate the nightmares that I have over and over, how nothing ever changes. I'm never able to escape. It always ends the same way.

It's late when I walk into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I blink when I find Kael sitting at the kitchen table. Thank god he's put on a shirt.

"What are you doing up?" My voice's raspy from sleep.

He shrugs. "Can't sleep. You want some tea? I made a pot."

"That's exactly what I need."

I walk over and pour myself a cup, putting in a few sugar cubes.

I sip it as I sit down at the table across from Kael.

"Not tired?"

"It's not that," I mutter. "Just don't want to go back to sleep."

Kael hums. "Because of the nightmares?"

I freeze, my shoulders stiffening, but I don't answer.

He raises an eyebrow but doesn't protest.

I hate that I have those horrible nightmares. I hate waking up in a cold sweat. I hate remembering the horror of it. It feels like I should be over it by now. I feel weak and stupid. And I particularly hate that he heard me screaming myself awake twice now.

But I can't say that to Kael. I trust him with my life, but I don't know if I trust him with my heart.

"You wanna play a game or something? How about poker?"

He snorts. "Poker? You'd have a terrible poker face."

"Try me."

He frowns. "You need to sleep, Paige."

Sleep is the last thing on my mind when I know I'll just be having another nightmare. I want to stay awake as long as possible.

"Just a few hands," I plead. "I'll cook dinner tomorrow."

"But you can't cook!"

"I'll figure it out. I'll ask Marisol for help. Just play with me, dammit."

He shakes his head. "I don't think it's a good idea."

I huff out a breath. "Why not? What could possibly be wrong with playing poker?"

Kael groans. "I'm tired. You're tired, too. You should go to sleep. Get some rest."

"I'm not tired." I cross my arms over my chest, and he looks at me for a long moment.

"What's this about?" he asks, his tone almost suspicious.

"It's not about anything."

"You can't stand me. Or better yet, you tolerate me because of our training. Or did you forget not that long ago, you did everything you could to convince your brothers not to make me your bodyguard? And now you come up with ways to spend time with me? Watching movies? Playing cards? "

"Maybe you're not so bad," I mumble. "Plus, you're the only available poker partner."

"Fair enough. But that doesn't mean I'm going to play with you."

"Why not? Is it because you can't play? Because I can teach you." I touch my chin, wanting to go for the jugular. "I know. You're afraid you're going to lose, aren't you?"

He laughs. "Yeah, right."

"I have a hell of a poker face."

"No way."

"Scared to find out?" I step closer to him, and he looks up at me with half-lidded blue eyes.

"All right, princess. I'll play with you. Just a few hands."

His voice is low and raspy, and his words suddenly sound dirty somehow.

I bite my lip and go to grab the deck of cards, bringing it back and dealing us each five cards.

I have three of a kind, which is great, but I try to keep my face neutral.

Kael looks completely blank, in fact so blank that he almost looks uncanny.

I study him to try and figure out what to bet, but in the end, I just go all in. Surely, he can't have better than me.

Kael grins and lays his cards down. A straight flush.

"What the fuck? On the first hand?"

"I told you that you didn't want to play poker with me."

"That's not even skill, that's just a lucky hand!"

"Don't be a sore loser, princess." He grins.

"Why not? You're a sore winner."

I am actually pretty competitive, and him winning the first hand doesn't bode well.

"Deal again,"

Kael raises an eyebrow. "Yes, ma'am."

I pick up my cards and have to fight a smile. Two queens and a pair of threes. Two pair isn't the world's best hand, but it's certainly a start.

I discard and draw one card, hoping for a full house.... Yes! I draw another three.

I look coolly at Kael, but his face is completely unreadable, perfectly blank. Even his eyes seem dull.

He has the best poker face I've ever seen.

"Call," he says in a low tone that makes goosebumps pop along my flesh.

I grin, lying down my cards. "Full house."

Kael groans, and I'm sure he's going to fold, but then a crooked grin spreads across his stupid, handsome face.

He lays down his cards. "Four aces."

I yelp, glaring at him. "I want to believe that you're too loyal to me to cheat," I muse. "But?—"

"I'm not loyal to you," Kael blurts out, frowning. "I'm loyal to your father."

I wave a hand dismissively. "Same thing."

"It's not the same."

I raise an eyebrow. He's being so weird about an offhand comment.

"Fair enough. Show me your sleeves, then."

He snorts, looking down at himself in a short-sleeved T-shirt. "Where do you think I'm hiding the cards?"

"I don't know. You could be sneaky."

"Besides, you're the one that begged me. Why would I randomly have extra cards on me?"

I huff out a frustrated breath. "I don't know. Like I said, you could be sneaky."

Kael barks out a laugh. "You really don't like losing, do you, princess?"

"Stop calling me that," I mutter .

I don't like the way my body responds when he does.

He hums. "What would you rather I call you? Kiddo? Babydoll?"

My cheeks burn, and I look away from him. "How about Paige?"

"All right, Paige. " He chuckles. "You want another hand, or are you too scared?"

"Scared? Who's scared?"

"You. Scaredy-cat."

"You better not make that a thing." I frown, leaning forward.

He's grinning, and I wish I could wipe the smile off his face or kill him with my glare.

"Then play another hand with me."

"I thought you didn't want to play!"

He shrugs. "Changed my mind. I like winning."

"Of course, you do," I mumble under my breath. "Fine. Another hand."

Kael deals the cards swiftly, and I can't stop looking at his long, tapered fingers. He could have been a pianist or a guitarist in another life. Instead, he's a gangster. Funny how life works and what you get born into.

If I hadn't been born into this life, I never would have gotten almost kidnapped, and I wouldn't have Kael sitting across from me and winning against me at poker.

C'est la vie.

"Let's do this." My determination's evident in my voice.

Kael gives me a small smile, but there's some expression on his face that I can't quite name.

Maybe it's the break I need, the chink in his armor.

He takes three cards, which is a good sign. I only have a pair of fours, but I'm going to play it up.

"Ready?" I grin to try and bluff him.

He nods. "You calling?"

"Call."

He lies down his hand and shrugs. "Nothing. Shit hand."

I whoop, standing up and doing a little dance. "Read them and weep. Two fours!"

Kael laughs. "You got that excited over a pair of fours?"

"Damn right, I do! I won!" I keep dancing, and I realize that Kael is staring at my hips. I snort. "You're obvious, you know that?"

"Hmm?" He acts as if he's completely innocent, looking up at me.

"You want me."

Kael looks at me for a long moment, searching my face.

"Aye." He pauses. "But I want a lot of women."

Heat floods through me, and it's half-lust and half some weird kind of jealousy.

"Then why was it me that you let ride your thigh?"

Kael narrows his eyes. "You wanted that just as much as I did, princess. Maybe more."

I can't deny that, even if I want to. Even right now, I'm hot everywhere, especially between my legs. Just being near him does that to me.

"No one has ever wanted me before," I mumble, and Kael's face softens.

"That can't be true."

"It is. I've always been alone, Kael. So, having someone like you in such close proximity... I just kind of lose my mind, I guess."

"So, what you're saying is I'm just here ?" His brows furrow. "That's why you want me?"

"Isn't that why you want me? "

Kael doesn't answer, just looking at me. "Another hand?"

I nod, and he deals out the cards.

I have absolutely nothing, even after discarding and drawing two cards, but I keep on a happy face.

Kael studies me for a moment, and then folds.

"Woohoo!" I stand up again to do my little dance. "I win again. And I bluffed you!"

"Aye." A smile creeps across his face, and that's when it hits me.

I plop down on the chair, pouting. "You let me win."

Kael's blue eyes widen. "What? Of course, I didn't."

"Shut up," I mutter.

He grins. "Another hand? I promise I'll beat you this time."

"Let's go."

After I lose a handful more times, I'm getting bored.

"Tell me a story or something."

Kael doesn't look up from his cards. "Like a fairytale? God, you are a princess."

I groan. "No. Like, I don't know, a gangster story. Tell me something exciting."

"I'd have thought you had enough excitement on that front."

"It's not scary if it's not happening to me."

Kael looks up from his cards to see me pouting, and finally, he sighs.

"Fine. You want to hear about how I went to juvie?"