15. Paige

15

PAIGE

As soon as I get inside my room, I close the door and throw myself onto my bed. I am so doomed. I groan into my pillow when what I really want to do is scream.

What the hell is wrong with Kael? It's like he'is all over the place.

I know he hates me, but still. This is so frustrating!

I'm not a child anymore, and I'm not invisible. But I'm also not made of glass.

Yet, he won't look at me like the woman I am. Even if sometimes, it seems like he's somewhat attracted to me. I mean, he did get an erection when I was getting off rubbing on his thigh.

But then why won't he even consider the possibility of sex with me?

Argh! I can't stay here. I will not sleep, but maybe a shower will help me.

I get up, walk into the bathroom, and turn on the water. After stripping, I look at myself in the mirror.

I'm an attractive girl, right? And again, Kael sometimes seems to think so too, or at least it feels that way. Remembering how he was hard beneath me just from being so close to me makes me giddy.

God, I want him. I want him so badly I don't know what to do with myself.

I step under the water, and my body comes alive. I imagine his hands touching my skin, caressing me, and my hands follow the phantom touch of his in my imagination.

I lose myself in my touch, thinking of Kael's bright blue eyes taking me in as his hands caress my body, and how hard and thick he felt against my thigh.

My fingers go to my folds and start massaging my clit.

The electric jolt I get almost sends me over the edge.

Is this how his finger would feel? Would he be gentle? Maybe rougher.

A moan escapes my lips.

His skin against mine would feel amazing. All hard planes and ridges and…

I increase both speed and intensity.

Images come alive in my head as I picture him picking me up and holding me against the wall.

Trembling, I let one of my fingers slide and circle my entrance.

How would it feel to have him enter me?

The tip of my finger slides inside, and I gasp.

I push it inside, slowly, testing my own resistance as pleasure I have never known rocks through me.

Is this what sex is like?

When my finger is as far in as it can go, I pull it almost fully out again before pushing back in.

My head falls back as I moan.

I increase my speed and massage my clit with my other hand, imagining Kael taking me against this shower wall .

I have to brace myself because my legs start failing me as an explosion consumes me.

When I finally reach my peek, I'm gasping and flushed with embarrassment not just because this is my first time touching myself, the first orgasm I've given myself, but because I was fantasizing about Kael while I did.

So dirty. So wrong.

I hate myself for wanting him. A man I can't stand.

Why did it have to be him?

I rub my skin raw, trying to rinse away what I just did, but when I finally step out of the shower, nothing has changed.

A couple of hours or so later, as I lay awake in my bed still no wiser about Kael and the whole situation, my phone rings on the nightstand.

Facetime from Sophie. I look at the clock. It's been a little over three hours since we left her.

Did anything happen?

I accept the call and hold the phone up to my face, plopping down in bed.

Sophie's not alone. Catalina, an Italian girl that we'd befriended on a trip to the Bronx, is with her.

"Hey, girl!" She pushes into the frame.

I grin. "Hey, it's been a while."

Sophie's arm is around Catalina's shoulder. My best friend's clearly drunk. "Party all day!"

Tanya, my other friend, a beautiful girl that we'd met when we snuck out to party a few years ago, comes on as well, pressing her face closer to the phone. "We gotta stop Sophie from drinking anymore."

I chuckle. "She was drinking mimosas with me earlier."

Catalina shakes her head. "Yeah, she's out for the count. "

Sophie sways with the phone, and Catalina grabs it from her, smiling at me.

"What are you up to?"

"I'm on lockdown." I puff my hair from my head, holding the phone up higher. "Stuck in my brownstone with Kael Sullivan."

Catalina raises her eyebrows. " The Kael Sullivan?"

I frown. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing. I just wonder if this is the same Kael that has a new girl on his arm every other week?"

"The hot one?" Tanya pipes up, struggling to get a bottle out of Sophie's hand while she sings.

"I love rock and roll, so put another dime in the jukebox, baybee?—"

Tanya groans. "Please shut up, Sophie."

I can't help but burst out laughing.

"You guys are like the drunk leading the drunk." I sigh heavily. "I wish I was there."

"Why, so we could be carrying you home after this?"

I giggle. "Exactly. And Kael's not that hot."

Catalina snorts. "You're crazy. He's fine fine."

I gulp. "I mean, I guess he's attractive."

"Tell them what you told me!" Sophie yells from the back as she's still trying to hold on to the bottle, and I freeze.

Catalina and Tanya are both on the screen now, both frowning.

"Tell us what? Spill, spill!" Tanya yells, and I groan at the phone.

"Fine. Kael kind of...gave me my first...you know. Well, at least my first that wasn't alone." None of them knows the real truth, that it was in fact the actual first orgasm of my life, and I'm not about to come clean now and sound even more pathetic .

"Holy shit!" Tanya screams.

"Congratulations, Paige, I'd give my left boob to get Kael Sullivan to touch me."

I snort. "It wasn't all that."

"Liaaaaaar!' Sophie yells drunkenly, and now they're all in the picture, fighting for the phone.

I snicker. "Get that bottle away from her and call me back."

Catalina nods and hangs up the call.

I grin, but there's something bittersweet about my friends all being together while I'm stuck at home with Kael.

Especially since he isn't in my bed right now.

God, my skin feels hot all over when I think about him touching my hips, positioning me in the right place. I think about his bare chest, the sleeve of tattoos on his right arm—flowers and a lion. I wonder what that is supposed to represent.

I let out a long breath, trying to calm down, but it doesn't seem to be working.

Catalina calls back in about thirty minutes, and she looks frustrated.

Sophie's still singing drunkenly in the background.

Catalina huffs. "We got all the liquor away from her, but she won't stop. She should sleep it off."

I can't help but laugh. "Put on that penguin kids' movie."

"The one with the dancing penguin?"

I nod. "I promise, she'll be out like a light before the opening credits."

Catalina shrugs and disappears for a few minutes.

When she returns, Sophie's silent.

"You're a magician." She laughs .

"I know my best friend." I giggle with her.

It's fun to talk to my friends like this, but I'm a little resentful that I'm not there. "How did you guys end up there?"

"She called us here. We were already slumming it on the southside, so we came. There's something about southside guys." She sighs happily, falling back onto the couch while Tanya takes the phone.

Her brown eyes are a little glassy, but she's not nearly as bad off as Sophie was. "So, you need to tell us more about Kael Sullivan. Is he big?"

"Oh, god... I think so." My skin warms all over. I'm the worst blusher. I blame my hot Irish blood.

She cackles. "I knew it!"

Catalina presses her face into the frame. "What happened? Did you finally lose your v-card?"

I bite my lip. "No, nothing like that. It was just...touching. While we were training."

Catalina's eyes widen. "Really? What're you training for?"

"He's teaching me self-defense."

"Hot for teacher," Tanya teases, and I snort.

"Something like that. But it doesn't matter one way or another because I need to stay away from him. Imagine what Declan and Gray would do to him if they found out."

"Oh, he's a dead man," Tanya says solemnly, as if it's a done deal already.

I nod. "That's why it's not going to happen again."

"Sure, it's not." Catalina grins.

I groan. "I guess I should go. I need to get some sleep. I was told to rest for a bit, and I haven't been sleeping well."

Catalina frowns. "Do you need to talk about it? "

I shake my head. "I'm fine. Just need a few hours of beauty sleep."

"You don't need it."

Smiling, I hang up the phone and snuggle up under my duvet, turning off the lamp next to my bed and lying there in the darkened room.

Usually, it takes me a long time to fall asleep, especially since sleep is something I avoid like the plague these days.

But today, knowing Kael downstairs, I feel a lot safer.

Doesn't mean I want to put my luck to the test and face another nightmare, so I lay in the dark for a couple more hours before I get back up again.

Time to face Kael again. I just wonder which Kael I'm about to meet. The one that has an attraction for me or the one that loathes me to the core.